by Amy Aislin
“Jesus, Trevor,” Christian croaked, relieved he wasn’t staring at a shadowy specter. Trevor ignored him and trotted out of the room, dog tags tinkling.
A few minutes later, Riley returned. He got one look at Christian, still standing exactly where he’d left him not ten minutes ago, and burst out laughing.
“What?” Christian asked, grateful his boner had mostly disappeared. But it was making a comeback. Riley’s laughter tickled his balls, and the way he was dressed in dark jeans and a blue, collared sweater? One of those with the zipper that only went about a quarter of the way down? Riley had it unzipped, showing off his strong neck and the column of his throat where a tiny bit of wetness caught Christian’s eye.
“Why didn’t you come in?” Riley asked.
Come in the shower? So Riley had wanted him to join him?
“You weren’t confined to this room, you know.”
Oh. Come into the house. Not the shower. And wow, he didn’t expect that fierce disappointment.
Christian eyed the doorway just beyond the laundry room. “I’m not going out there.”
Riley bent to put on his boots. “So what? Ghosts don’t haunt laundry rooms?”
“People—alive people—don’t even want to be in them. Never mind ghosts.” He ignored Riley’s indulgent smile and kept talking. Mostly to distract himself from how good Riley smelled. “There’s nothing in here. What would they do? Play a trick on the owners by turning on the washer? Flick the lights on and off? They’d be better off haunting the bedrooms. People spend way more time in—”
“T?” Riley interrupted, standing.
“Huh?”
“Shut up and kiss me.”
He didn’t need to be told twice.
It was the same, and yet it wasn’t. Christian knew the feel of Riley’s lips on his, the way Riley’s tongue felt sweeping inside his mouth. How hard Riley’s body was underneath his hands. How good it felt when Riley inserted a leg between Christian’s, bringing their erections in alignment.
What was new was Riley as the aggressor. He walked Christian backward until Christian’s back hit the wall next to the door. Palming Christian’s butt with one hand, he used the other to lift one of Christian’s legs and settle it around his waist.
An aggressive Riley was hot as fuck.
They weren’t careful with each other. Hands grabbed, teeth bit, hair was pulled. Christian moaned at the taste of Riley. Minty, like he’d just brushed his teeth. His hands found their way underneath Riley’s sweater to scratch at bare skin.
Trevor’s bark from another room finally brought them down from the high the kiss provoked. Breathing hard, they parted, but only as far as they needed to so they could see each other’s eyes. Riley’s were heavy-lidded, and one of his hands clenched on Christian’s waist. Twin spots of color blushed his cheeks.
“We should go,” Riley rasped, his gravelly voice tickling all of Christian’s senses.
“Yeah.”
But instead, Christian leaned forward to take Riley’s mouth again. And this. This was the stuff first kisses were made of. This was less hunger, more passion. They slowed things down for this kiss. Hands petted and caressed rather than tugged and scratched. The scritch of Riley’s five o’clock shadow on Christian’s face made Christian shiver.
They pulled away with obvious reluctance, neither wanting to give up the other’s mouth.
“We really should go,” Riley said, even as his arms pulled Christian closer.
“We should,” Christian agreed, eyes on Riley’s mouth, the lips red and wet.
Growling softly, Riley gave Christian one last, hard kiss before releasing him to put on his coat. Whistling for Trevor, Christian opened the door to let them all out. Jesus, he was sweating like he’d run a marathon and he didn’t even realize it until the cold outside air hit his flushed face.
The walk to Christian’s mom’s was silent, though Christian did have to scoop the dog’s poop once. He snuck glances at Riley every few feet. He didn’t realize Riley was doing the same with him until they locked eyes and smiled stupidly at each other.
“Fuck,” Christian said when they reached his house not five minutes later. “I forgot my gear at your house.”
Riley shrugged. “It’s okay. It’s not like you won’t be back, right?”
The question was loaded with challenge and a small dose of insecurity. For the first time in his life, Christian couldn’t get an accurate read on Riley. The guy who’d disappeared six years ago was now the instigator? Damn, but they really needed to talk.
But first, dinner with his mom.
Christian winked at Riley—ha! Take that!—under the glare of the porch light and led the way inside, where Trevor ran off down the hallway.
“Riley, mon amour!” Christian’s mom appeared from the kitchen. “Comment ça va?” Christian couldn’t help but laugh. Mon amour. My love. Even his mom liked Riley better than him. Not that Christian could blame her. He himself liked Riley better than pretty much anyone in the world.
* * *
His mom made so much food it was almost like she knew Riley would be coming for dinner. She probably did in that sixth-sense way moms everywhere possessed.
Christian knew the food was delicious but he barely tasted any of it, too consumed with thoughts of Riley to really pay attention to what he was putting in his mouth. Of course that led to thoughts of Riley’s dick in his mouth, and with his mom blathering away next to him, that was so not a thought to have.
But his mom could hold a conversation with herself without even trying. And that meant Christian could let his mind wander while inserting the occasional “Uh-huh” into the one-sided conversation his mother was unwittingly having with herself. And that also meant he could watch Riley while pretending not to, even though he was about 99.9 percent certain Riley knew what he was up to. Especially given the way he stared into Christian’s eyes with a wicked gleam in his own as he licked his fork clean.
Christian gulped.
And wanted to curse because Riley, the jerk, was clearly having no trouble holding up his own end of the conversation, piping in every once in a while with a follow-up question or comment to one of his mom’s never-ending stories.
While subsequently rubbing his foot up and down Christian’s leg under the table.
Just kill him. He was done. Had his mom not been there, nothing would’ve prevented Christian from vaulting over the table and attacking Riley.
But his mom was there. It was the only thing keeping his butt firmly planted on this side of the table.
A small part of him wondered if starting something up with Riley again was such a good idea. The last time they’d hooked up Riley had left him. Gone as if what they’d shared the night after his dad’s funeral had been nothing worth remembering. For Christian, that night had been a rekindling of the passion between them. Fuck, he sounded like a Hallmark movie. But he’d thought that night had been…well, if not picking up where they’d left off over a year earlier then certainly starting something new.
Whereas to Riley, Christian had been a one-night stand. A trick. And the part of him that was still so deeply hurt by that wanted to run away and hide.
But he’d never run from his feelings. Especially not when it came to Riley. So the other part of him—a very large part—took caution, bundled it into a little ball, and threw it in the lake with the lost ships and nasty fish. Because what if he didn’t take this chance? What if he just let Riley breeze through his life again like they’d never meant anything to each other? Would he spend the rest of his life wondering “what if”?
Yes. One thousand percent yes.
And if this went wrong and failed epically and his heart got shredded to bits again? Tough titties. At least he’d know that he’d tried.
Deciding two could play Riley’s game, Christian hid a grin, slid one foot up Riley’s leg until he reached his crotch and then pressed his toes against Riley’s dick.
Riley choked.
&nbs
p; “Riley! Tiens. Bois de l’eau. Vite!”
Christian couldn’t help but laugh under his breath as his mom pounded Riley on the back and offered him a glass of water. Then she scolded Christian about how mean he was to laugh while his best friend might be dying.
Yeah. Dying of lust, maybe.
Since his mom had cooked he and Riley put the leftovers away and did the dishes. They even managed to sneak in a heated kiss while pressed up against the fridge when his mom went to set up the movie in the family room.
Once the dishes were done, they watched A Christmas Carol, the Mickey Mouse version. It’d been a tradition in his family for as long as Christian could remember. He and Riley sat as far apart from each other as they could manage without it looking like they were doing everything they could to avoid jumping each other’s bones in front of his mom.
Trevor snoring in front of the fireplace added an interesting soundtrack to the whole situation.
After the movie was typically when Christian and his mom would exchange gifts. Christian hesitated. One: He didn’t want Riley to feel left out. And two: He didn’t want to give Riley his present in front of his mom. But Riley started making noises about heading home—Christian thought he did a very good job of masking his disappointment—but bless his mom. She wouldn’t let Riley step foot out of the house until she’d given him her present.
Having Riley here reminded Christian of all the times they’d snuck into each other’s windows on Christmas Eve as kids. At first it was because they wanted to swap presents at midnight. But after that first kiss in tenth grade it became about swapping something else at midnight. Mostly spit. And other bodily fluids as they grew older and bolder.
But also presents. Christian had a stack of Christmas and birthday presents for Riley at his apartment in Vancouver for every year they’d been apart since their break up. Because he was just humiliatingly pathetic enough that, even though they weren’t together—hell, they hadn’t even kept in touch—Christian had gone out to the store to purchase the perfect gift for Riley even though he might never see them. But that wasn’t the point. The point was…
Well, Christian wasn’t exactly sure what the point was. Other than to feel depressed and alone and to question all of his life choices, as if he wasn’t already aware he was a huge goddamn fucktard for breaking up with Riley in the first place.
Long-distance relationships were hard. He’d always laughed at people who said that because really? How hard could they be? When you loved someone, you made it work. But he got it now. He did. Being in BC without Riley was almost impossible. Until it wasn’t. Until, as time went on, things got just a little bit easier every day even though he never ever stopped missing Riley.
Then they’d get together. Over Thanksgiving weekend. For a few days over Reading Week. During Christmas. Summer. And whenever they could scrape the cash together to meet up in between holidays. Then he’d go back to his life in BC and Riley would head back to Colorado. Missing Riley became as familiar as his own face, especially for those first couple of weeks of separation. It was like a hole in his heart that wouldn’t close. Still wasn’t closed.
Until, with time, it got easier.
And the cycle would start all over again like a never-ending Scrooge movie.
He’d been calling himself an idiot since the day he told Riley he couldn’t do it anymore.
Everything he’d ever wanted was right here, within reach. Christian sat in an armchair perpendicular to the couch. Partly because it was comfortable. Mostly because it gave him a direct line of sight to Riley.
Christian was nervous, and he never got nervous about anything. He hadn’t even been nervous the first time he’d kissed Riley. He’d just been sick of dancing around his feelings that he’d mentally thrown his hands up in defeat and gone for it. Best decision he ever made.
Now he had a chance to fix what went wrong between them. Get his best friend back—and maybe the love of his life. It was hard to tell whether or not Riley wanted the same thing. Riley was obviously ready and willing to jump back into bed. Christian could start with that and work his way backward.
His mom got up from the couch after the gift exchange. (Riley had even pulled out a small gift for his mom out of his coat pocket.) “Bonne nuit, mes amours,” she said, kissing both Christian and Riley on the head. “I’m so happy you’re in each other’s lives again,” she whispered in his ear in French because Christian had never had a conversation with his mom in English in his life. They said good night in return and she disappeared down the hallway to her room, reminding him to shut off the Christmas tree lights before he went to bed.
Just the two of them. Christian and Riley. Fuck his life. He had no idea what he was supposed to do right now. Say goodnight? Watch another movie? Play Go Fish? Invite Riley to his room?
Riley, as usual, was the first to break the heavy silence between them. “I should go.” He stood and Christian took a moment to admire his strong body. “I’ve been up since six.” To be fair, he did look tired, but the heavy-lidded blue gaze only served to make him look even sexier.
Christian followed Riley to the front door and stood awkwardly while Riley put on his coat and boots.
“So, uh,” Christian said for lack of anything better to say, “what are you doing tomorrow?”
Jesus, seriously? He sounded like a fifteen-year-old asking someone out for the first time. So, uh, what are you doing tomorrow? Do you want to, uh, like, get together? See, like, a movie or something?
“Nothing much. Chilling in my pyjamas all day?”
“My mom and I are doing brunch. Do you want to, uh…” For the love of God, don’t say ‘like.’ “…Like, come eat with us?”
Holy hell. It was like he was a pod person. What the hell was going on right now? He was shy? With Riley? Who he’d basically ordered to come to dinner with him and his mom earlier?
Somebody save him.
Thankfully, Riley did. By putting his mouth on Christian’s.
Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah. This was good. No thinking involved. Just pure instinct. The feel of Riley in his arms had him instantly hard and if his mother wasn’t right down the hall, he’d be on his knees with Riley’s dick in his mouth pronto. Riley tasted like the one small cup of coffee he’d had with dessert: strong yet sweet. Their tongues dueled, vying for space in the other’s mouth. Christian groaned when Riley sucked on his bottom lip, all awkwardness forgotten. His stomach fluttered and his heart raced when Riley pulled back and rested his forehead against Christian’s.
Pressed together from thighs to forehead, Christian couldn’t stop touching Riley. His arms, his shoulders, his neck. Pressing his thumb against Riley’s chin forced Riley’s mouth open and Christian swooped in, grinding his hard dick against Riley’s while they kissed like it was the first time.
Riley pulled back, then came back in to give Christian a very soft closed-mouthed kiss. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he whispered.
“Yeah.”
Riley looked like he wanted to say something else. But all he did was smile crookedly, showing an unexpected hint of nerves. Christian held his face in his hands, swiping his thumbs against Riley’s cheeks. Riley’s hands clenched on Christian’s waist, holding him tighter. Neither of them wanting to let go.
“Tomorrow,” Riley finally said. And kissed Christian’s cheek before turning and heading home.
At a quarter to midnight, Christian was lying on his bed in his old room, dressed down in sweatpants and the new forest green hoodie his mom got him for Christmas, watching a Youtube video of James Corden’s Broadway riff-off with Neil Patrick Harris. Because who didn’t love Neil Patrick Harris?
Plus Neil Patrick Harris was also superhot. The heavy boner in Christian’s pants that was a living, breathing thing since his goodnight kiss with Riley twenty minutes ago…was still a heavy boner in his pants. And he couldn’t watch porn and beat one off in his mom’s house. Ew. Yeah he’d done it as a teenager, but he’d lived alone for years now and the
prospect of masturbating with his mom down the hall was just… Just no.
Although if he didn’t soften soon, he might have to consider compromising on his principles. Or stop watching NPH videos. Listening to the guy sing with confidence was such a huge fucking turn on. Kind of like watching Riley in goal.
Christian had been a little too obsessed with getting the puck past Riley earlier today to really notice at the time how damn good Riley looked in net. Like he belonged there. Like he was comfortable with having a fast, hard, rubber disc shot at his head.
Watching Riley in net when he’d played for Toronto had been unreal. The technical skills and commitment he brought to every game. His utter focus, as if nothing else existed except the puck and making sure it didn’t get past him. Talk about a turn on. Riley didn’t know it, but Christian had attended every Toronto vs Vancouver game in Vancouver that Riley had goaltended for.
And then he’d quietly left the stadium after each game without even trying to see Riley. Because Riley had been gone the morning after they’d last hooked up. Clearly that meant Riley didn’t want to see him, right?
But Riley had welcomed him back to town with open arms—and a thoroughly unexpected full-on hug. It was such a juxtaposition to how they’d left things last time that it had Christian rethinking everything.
Fact: After they’d hooked up six years ago, Riley had been gone come morning.
Fact: They hadn’t spoken since then. Not until a few days ago when Christian walked into Warm Glow.
Not so much fact as assumption: Riley wanted nothing to do with him.
New assumption: Riley’s disappearing act was less about Christian, and more about Riley. About something going on in Riley’s head he couldn’t—wouldn’t?—articulate back then. Something that Christian had been too preoccupied to notice.
None of this helped Christian right now but it did make him feel better about the whole thing. It still left him wondering where that left them now though. Those were answers he wouldn’t get until he talked to Riley, but Riley had always been good at not talking about the important stuff.