by Ryan Casey
“It’s not,” she said. “It’s not safe. And everywhere… everywhere I look in there, I won’t be able to stop thinking about my boy. I can’t go back there, Jack. I’m sorry. I—I can’t…”
She took a step towards him, like she was going to hug him.
Then she turned back and walked into the woods.
“Hazel?” Jack said.
He rushed after her.
“Hazel, think about this—”
“Leave me,” she said.
“But—”
“Leave me!”
She looked at him with anger. There were venom to her words. And he knew no matter how much he fought his case, he wasn’t going to win her round.
“I’m leaving too.”
He looked back.
Bella was approaching, Mrs Fuzzles in her arms.
“Bella?”
She wiped her tearful eyes. “I’m sorry for what happened. But—but I can’t leave Hazel on her own out here. And she’s right about the farm. It’s not safe. Not anymore. Not with…”
She didn’t finish, but she didn’t have to. Jack knew what she was implying right away.
He was partly responsible for this.
And the hardest part of all?
He didn’t even have the fight left in his body to contest.
Jack shook his head. He’d put everything on the line. He’d tried everything.
And it’d all come to this.
He looked around at Candice, but he already knew her decision.
She shook her head. Her eyes were bloodshot, her face stained with tears.
“I—I just need to think,” she said. “I need to think. I’m sorry.”
He looked at these three women, all torn apart by Wayne’s death.
And he saw how they looked at him like he was the villain. Like he was at fault.
And deep down, he knew he was.
That was the most difficult thing to take of all.
“We all need to think carefully about this,” Jack said, as the rain continued to beat down from above. He was trying to stay as controlled as possible in spite of everything that’d happened. “We need to sit around a table and talk properly. About the next—”
“There is no more talking to be done,” Hazel said, her voice strained. “I’m sorry, Jack. I’m sorry.”
He opened his dry mouth. Went to speak.
Then he saw them all turn and walk away.
He watched them move through the trees.
Watched them disappear from view.
Hazel.
Candice.
Bella.
Mrs Fuzzles.
Just him and Villain left.
And he wanted to go after them.
But all he could do was stand there in the rain and watch.
Because all this time, he knew they were right.
He had done this.
He had sparked this whole mess.
He had killed his son.
And no matter how much Wayne forgave him… he would never forgive himself.
Chapter Forty-Four
When Jack reached the farm, his stomach sank.
Yuri’s group had already settled in. Some of the cows were dead by the barns, and had been torn into. He could hear laughter inside. There were two men by the front doors, both holding rifles. He couldn’t see Yuri.
They lifted those rifles as Jack approached.
He raised his. “What is this?”
They didn’t drop their rifles. “Step back,” the man on the left said.
Jack stopped. Frowned. “Your leader. Yuri. We came to an agreement. You heard it yourselves—”
“And we made our own agreement,” the man on the left said. “This place isn’t yours anymore. It’s ours. You can walk away. Or we can shoot you, right here. Your call.”
Jack’s stomach sank. He should’ve known he couldn’t trust these bastards. They’d used him to eliminate one threat, and now they sensed an opportunity for total power, they’d taken it.
He’d won this farm once already. But this was different now. They had numbers. They had ammunition in abundance.
And they had the determination to hold this place.
Determination that Jack had lost.
He had no fight left.
Not now his son was gone.
Not now everyone was gone.
Not now he had nobody left to fight for.
He thought about shooting them. About trying to gun them down.
But then he lowered his rifle.
Looked into the eyes of that man on the left.
“Come on, Villain. And tell Yuri he’ll regret this.”
Then he turned around with Villain and he walked away.
He didn’t look back at the farm. Not once.
He half-expected them to shoot him right there and then.
Damn. He half-wanted them to.
He walked towards the woods. He stopped when he reached Wayne’s grave. It was still only late afternoon, but the sky was so grey that it felt like it was getting dark already.
He crouched beside Wayne’s grave and he put a hand on it. And as much as he tried to hold the emotion back, as much as he tried to keep himself together… Jack cried.
He knew there was nothing left for him now. There was no point fighting on when there was nobody to fight for. That was something he’d learned only recently. He’d spent so many years convincing himself that he and his dog were the only ones that mattered, and that was how it should be. But he’d had a glimpse at unity. He’d felt a connection.
And he’d let it all slip away, all because he couldn’t bear losing what he had.
All because of the ruthless depths he’d sunk to in an attempt to hold on to everything he cared about.
He looked at the rifle and he thought about ending his life right here. Because what was the point otherwise? His son was gone. And just like India, just like the incident with the dodgy brakes in the car that he was sure had killed her… he was responsible. He hadn’t pulled the trigger, but he might as well have done.
He grabbed the rifle. Turned it on himself. Closed his eyes, squeezed them shut, reached for the trigger.
He held it there. Cried. Tickled that trigger.
And then he tossed it to one side and he let out a cry.
He’d failed at life.
And now he couldn’t even do death properly.
He lay down on Wayne’s grave. Rain poured onto him, drenching him even more. He was hungry, but he couldn’t eat. Thirsty, but he couldn’t drink. Maybe that was how it had to be. Maybe he’d die of starvation or dehydration.
Maybe that was what he deserved.
He felt a nudge under his arm and looked around.
Villain was by his side. He was crying. He tried to tuck his head under Jack’s hand, like he wanted a fuss.
“Not now, Villain,” Jack said, pushing him away.
Villain cried again. He nudged Jack’s hand once more.
Jack felt impatience taking over. “Villain, not now!”
Villain stepped back, a look of fear in his eyes, and…
And then Jack saw something.
Something that made the hairs on the back of his neck rise.
Villain looked at him with fear and uncertainty.
But there was something else. Something stronger cutting through all of that.
Villain looked at Jack with love.
“Come here,” he said. “I’m sorry, boy. Come here.”
And Villain did. Right away, he did.
Jack cuddled him and cried. He petted him and held him close.
Because if there was one thing he’d seen in Villain’s eyes, and one thing he’d remembered as he felt the warmth against his hand, it was the way Wayne had forgiven him.
In spite of everything, he’d forgiven him.
And there was something else.
The way he’d tightened his grip around Jack’s hand.
The way he’d looked up into his eyes.
�
��Look after Mum,” he’d said.
Jack looked up, then. He stared through the trees, off in the direction Hazel had headed with the others.
And he knew that he was wrong to let them go.
Even if Hazel said she wanted to be alone, that she didn’t want him near, he couldn’t accept that.
Because it was betraying Wayne’s wish.
His final wish.
He stood up. Patted Villain’s head.
And as the rain started to ease, Jack took a deep breath.
He had to fight for what was right.
He had to find Hazel.
And he had to be there for her. He had to be better. No matter what it took.
He looked at Villain and he half-smiled. “Come on, lad,” he said. “Let’s go find our family.”
He turned around.
Faced the woods.
And despite all the resistance pushing against him, Jack walked.
Chapter Forty-Five
Hazel wasn’t sure how long she’d been walking when the rain finally stopped.
She froze. She kept on freezing like this, kept on blacking out. It happened again and again, repeatedly. Every time it happened, she felt a hand on her arm. Saw Candice or Bella, both of them looking at her with sympathy and pity, both of them asking her if she was okay. Even Mrs Fuzzles didn’t look sure about her anymore.
And she’d ignore them. She’d just walk past them, start moving again.
Because of course she wasn’t okay.
She’d just lost her boy.
She’d just lost her world.
And now she was out here in the middle of nowhere with two strangers with no idea where she was going next.
She started walking again. They were still in the trees, deep in the woods now. She thought about what she was planning on doing out here. Finding another community? It was easier said than done. Besides, who was to say they’d just readily accept them?
And did she even want to be readily accepted by another community? Did she even want to keep on going when everything she cared about was gone?
They were torn on what to do next. Bella seemed to think they should set up camp for the night. Candice was leaning towards going back to the farmhouse.
But Hazel just wanted to walk.
She just wanted to keep walking and walking and…
She felt another hand on her shoulder. Saw Bella by her side.
“Hazel? You… I think we should rest.”
She looked around. Looked at Candice. Looked at Mrs Fuzzles. The trees around them had thinned. The sky was getting darker. She had no idea how long she’d been walking, or how long she kept zoning out for.
But she knew she was in shock.
She knew when that shock lifted, she was going to feel a gut-punch of grief unlike anything she’d ever felt before.
She knew it because she’d felt it before. And it was impossible.
She’d be lying if she said it almost destroyed her, because it had destroyed her.
She shook her head. “We keep on going.”
“I’m not sure that’s wise,” Candice said.
Hazel ignored her, kept moving. “Go back then.”
“Hazel, that’s—”
“Go back. All of you. Go back. Find Jack if that’s what you want. Go back to the farm. Live your lives. I can’t go back there. I can’t do this. I…”
She couldn’t speak another word.
She keeled over and she cried.
The girls reached her side. They hugged her. Comforted her. Told her they were going to be here for her. That they were going to stand by her side and give her all the support she needed.
But she needed more than what they could give her.
She needed to be alone.
She stood up. She saw now that maybe taking a break was a good idea. When the others were sleeping, she could flee. Find her own way in the world. They were tough girls. Intelligent girls. They’d find their own way.
“As much as you hate him,” Candice said. “As much as I’ve got your back… I can’t forget that final moment they had together.”
“Don’t,” Hazel said.
But Candice ignored her. “Wayne told Jack he forgave him.”
“Stop it.”
“And he told him to look out for you. To look out for us all—”
“Stop it!”
She stared at Candice and she shook. She thought Candice would give up now. Thought she’d lay off.
But instead, she just stood there calmly.
“We’ve got your back,” she said. “And I’m telling you right now that I think you’re making a mistake. I think we’re stronger together. All of us. Because Jack’s hurting too, now. He’s lost a son. Just like you.”
She wanted to say so many things, but she couldn’t.
She could only stand there and think about the life Jack and she had before India’s death.
How close they were.
How honest they were.
How different to other couples they were.
And she felt his pain just as strongly as she felt her own.
Candice walked closer to her.
“We’re all hurting,” she said. “We can’t pretend to know what you’re going through, but we’ve all lost someone we care about. Someone we love.” She looked away for a second, her cheeks flushing, eyes streaming. She took a sharp breath, pulled herself back together. “But we’re better fighting through this together. Not alone. If there’s anything I’ve learned from any of this, it’s that we’re stronger when we pull together. Not when we push other people away.”
Hazel shook her head. Tears rolled. Resistance built.
But she could feel it falling away.
She could feel all her defences crashing down.
“I don’t think I can,” Hazel said.
Bella stepped forward now, too. She looked in just as much grief.
“Whatever decision we make, we make it together,” Bella said. “Whatever you decide… we’ve got your back. We’re here for you. We’re not falling apart. Not again.”
Hazel took a step back.
She looked from Bella, back to Candice.
And then she stepped forward into Candice’s arms.
“He loved you,” Hazel said. “He knew how much you loved him. He’ll always know that. Always.”
They held on to one another. Hazel felt Candice’s tears soaking through to her shoulders. Bella stood by their side with Mrs Fuzzles, a hand on Hazel’s back.
“Together,” Hazel said, nodding. “To… together.”
Candice and Bella both looked back at her and they smiled.
And at that moment, Hazel knew exactly what she had to do.
She had to get back to Jack.
They had to put their differences aside.
Their son had died, so there was only one place she could be right now.
They had to be together—
She saw him in the distance and her entire body went numb.
Logan was standing there.
Blood was dripping between his fingers, which were pressed against his chest.
He was holding a rifle.
And he was pointing it right at them.
Chapter Forty-Six
Logan pointed the rifle at Hazel, Bella and Candice and tried to ignore the pain splitting through his chest.
It was getting late. He knew the night would be here soon. He was cold. He wasn’t sure if it was cold or if he just felt that way from the gunshot.
And he knew he didn’t have much chance of survival left. This gunshot was going to kill him eventually.
But all that mattered to him now was revenge.
One final act of revenge.
Because he had lost everything.
Everyone.
All he had left were the people who Jack cared about most, standing right in front of him.
He pointed his rifle at them shakily. He knew he’d taken them by surprise. They thought he was dead.
But there was a problem, too. Jack. He wasn’t here. Which meant something had happened. Something that had torn them apart.
He thought back to the way he’d seen Emma fall. The way he’d seen her disappear into the grass. The pain he’d felt. A sense of loss unlike anything else he’d ever experienced.
And then the next person he’d seen was Wayne.
Jack’s son.
So he’d lifted his rifle, gunshot wound agonising his chest.
And then he’d fired.
After that, he’d staggered off. He’d disappeared. He had no chance to search for Emma’s body. No opportunity to find the girl he’d tried to do everything for; the girl he’d fought so hard for.
All he could think about were the things she’d told him. How he was losing his grip. How he had to be careful. How he couldn’t let this conflict or his desire for revenge get the better of him or he’d lose everything.
And as he stood there, feeling deeply bitter and deeply vengeful, he knew Emma was right.
He was alone.
The only thing he had left was his vengeance.
Ultimately, that was what defined his entire life.
“Get on your knees,” Logan said.
The three women stared back at him, eyes wide. So too did the cat.
“I won’t ask you again,” Logan said. “Get the hell on your knees right this second or—”
“You killed my boy.”
Logan turned to Hazel. Saw the way she stared at him with a gaze just as vengeful as his own.
“You double-crossed me,” Logan said. “All rules were off the table.”
Hazel didn’t back down. She didn’t seem intimidated by Logan’s rifle. She walked towards him, eyes focused on his, fists tightened. “I don’t care about your reasons. I don’t give a damn why you think you did it. You killed my boy. You killed him. And you’ll pay for it. You’ll pay for it!”
Logan lifted his rifle. Tightened his grip on the trigger.
“No!”
Candice stepped forward. She stood in front of Hazel, between her and the rifle.
“If you think I won’t shoot every one of you, you’re mistaken,” Logan said. “I don’t care who you are. I don’t care what you say. You’re not the… you’re not the only one who lost today.”
Bella held Hazel back, dragged her away.
Candice stayed in front of Hazel. “Logan, don’t do this. I know you. We’ve travelled together. We’ve camped together. Hunted together. We had our lives saved together. We’ve spent so long trying to find the same thing. This conflict. It’s… it’s gone on too long. We’ve all lost. We’ve all suffered. And I’ll… I’ll never forgive you for what you did to Wayne. Nothing will ever change that. But we can’t gain a thing from keeping this fight going. Only more loss. Only more death.”