23
Outside, the light is dull, but the town is bustling with people. I wish I were one of them – laughing with friends and family, shopping, socialising, eating, drinking. I wend my way through the crowds, nodding without smiling to a few familiar faces, until I reach the end of the street. I can’t believe Matt told Dee about Holly. I know he’ll say it’s because he was worried about me, but it wasn’t his secret to tell. I shake my head. I have to put Matt and Dee out of my mind. I have to try to focus on Kate instead. Because she’s not happy at all, and this isn’t going to be a very pleasant encounter.
Up ahead, I’m shocked by how much the river has swollen since I last saw it a few days ago. It’s spilling over its banks and into the car park and has even started lapping over the causeway. A car drives across too fast, spraying two huge arcs of water, like liquid wings. The driver and passenger are a young couple, and through the windscreen I can see they’re laughing their heads off. I’m letting other things distract me, I need to press on.
I glance around, looking for Kate, but I don’t see her. She didn’t specify exactly where to meet, but I’m sure she can’t be too far away. I have the sudden, terrifying thought that she might have brought Shaun with her. What will I do if it’s both of them together? I don’t think I’m feeling brave enough to face the two of them on my own.
Then I spot Kate’s Fiat parked at the furthest edge of the car park, away from the river. I exhale in relief – it looks like the passenger side is empty. There are several wooden benches dotted about by the river, but they’re all damp. Anyway, this doesn’t feel like a sitting down and chatting occasion.
Crossing the car park, I try to breathe normally as I skirt around several huge puddles and weave through the parked cars. As I approach, Kate’s car door opens. She steps out and heads my way without giving me any eye contact whatsoever until we’re almost face to face. And then she looks at me with an expression somewhere between distaste and anger. It’s a look that makes me physically recoil.
I should probably say hello, but I can’t seem to find my voice. So we stand facing each other for a moment that feels like forever. Eventually she breaks the silence.
‘Rachel, I’ll make this quick because it’s school pick-up soon. I need you to tell me why you met my eldest daughter after school.’
‘Why I… Sorry, what?’ This isn’t good. Bella must have spoken to her. Of course, I knew she would. She thinks Kate is her mum.
‘Yesterday,’ Kate says carefully. ‘You met Bella after school. Why exactly did you do that?’ Her brown eyes bore into mine.
‘I didn’t meet her. We bumped into her and she got talking to Jess.’
‘And you gave her a lift home?’
‘Yes. It was pouring. A proper storm. We were all soaked through.’ I’m trying to make my voice sound light, but I know I’m coming across as defensive. ‘Jess suggested we give Bella a lift home. I’m sure you’d have done the same for one of my children if you saw them walking home in the pouring rain. I didn’t realise that was the wrong thing to do. If it was, I apologise.’
Another silence hangs between us for a moment. Cars drive past us, still coming and going. It’s started raining again, cold drops stinging my cheeks.
‘Let’s say I believe you,’ Kate says with a faint sneer. ‘Let’s say I can just about manage to swallow that it was pure coincidence you happened to be outside Bella’s school, after asking strange questions about her the other night.’
‘Strange que—?’
‘Because it’s the next part that has me puzzled.’
‘The next part?’ I frown as though confused, even though I know just what she’s going to say.
‘Yes. The part where you mentioned her dad. My husband Shaun. The part where you mention to Bella that you knew about her dad coming home?’
‘I…’
‘You?’
I don’t know how to answer. So I go for a version of the truth – the same half-truth I told Matt. ‘A post popped up on my Facebook page.’
Kate’s shaking her head now and I know she’s not going to buy it. ‘What’s that got to do with anything?’
I continue on regardless. ‘I can’t remember what the post was about, but someone commented about Shaun getting out, so I just assumed. I didn’t mention anything about prison to Bella. I just said that it must be nice to have her dad home. That’s all. Nothing untoward.’
‘Bullshit.’
‘I’m sorry?’ I’m taken aback by her sudden fury.
‘I said, bullshit. That post didn’t magically pop up. You went looking for it. There’s something very wrong with you, Rachel. You’ve been creeping around my family ever since we met. I have no idea why, and I’d be grateful if you didn’t talk to my daughter again. In fact, I’d rather you stayed away from all my children.’
I knew Kate wouldn’t be happy about me talking to Bella, but all these vile things she’s saying about me are making me bristle with anger. Now would be the perfect time for me to come back with my suspicions about her. She’s acting all holier than thou, like I’m the one in the wrong when she’s the wrong-doer. The evil-doer. Actually, I wouldn’t have expected anything else from her. When a person knows they’re in the wrong, or they’re cornered, they often act as the aggressor. Trying to deflect the blame. To make out that they’re the injured party. I won’t let her pressure me into showing my hand too soon. I won’t let her rile me up so I say something I may regret. I need to remain calm. To get proof before Kate has a chance to up sticks and disappear with Bella for good. So I need to act fast. At least Kate didn’t mention anything about me going into their flat to use the bathroom. Maybe Bella forgot to mention that part.
‘Please don’t repeat what you know about Shaun to anyone else.’ To my surprise, Kate’s anger is suddenly dissipating. She almost sounds like she might cry. ‘We’ve had to leave everything behind to get away from the stigma, and I don’t want it all raked up again. Once people know about things like that, they gossip, and it’s just not fair on the children. Shaun has paid for what he’s done… we all have.’
‘I won’t say anything,’ I reply, feeling almost sorry for her now. ‘I promise.’
‘Thank you.’ She’s back to being icy once again.
I wish I had the balls to ask her what is was that Shaun actually did that got him arrested. But I can’t bring myself to say anything. Anyway, there’s no way she’d answer me so it would be a waste of time. ‘I’m sorry we got off on the wrong foot,’ I say instead.
Kate looks as though she’s going to say something, but then she changes her mind, gives me a last contemptuous stare and strides off, back to her car.
I watch her go, unsure about what to do for the best. Should I go after her? Try to patch things up? My gut tells me it would be pointless. Besides, I really don’t want to talk to the woman. The thing is, it’s now going to be ten times more uncomfortable at school for us, and also for our kids. And now that I can’t see Bella legitimately, it’s going to be absolute torture. I’m glad I had the willpower to keep my suspicions about Bella’s identity to myself. It’s not something that can be blurted out in anger. I need to work this all out more carefully before confronting the Morrises.
My phone pings, and I glance at it to see it’s an apologetic text from Dee. I don’t have time to think about it or compose a reply right now. I better get going or I’m going to be late for school pick-up. I only hope I’m able to steer clear of Kate when I get there.
24
‘Can I have one of your reindeer ones?’ Charlie asks Jess. They’re sitting at the breakfast bar writing out their Christmas cards to take into school tomorrow while I cook their tea.
‘No, you chose Santa ones. The reindeer cards are mine.’
‘Maybe you could swap a couple?’ I suggest as I fill a saucepan with water.
‘My teacher likes animals,’ Charlie says. ‘I want to give her one with the reindeers.’
‘Mrs Barker?’ Jess ask
s.
Charlie nods.
‘I like Mrs Barker.’ Jess sighs. ‘Okay, here you go.’
I glance across and give Jess a wink. She smiles back at me, basking in the pleasure of having done something nice.
Charlie beams from ear to ear as he takes the card from her. ‘Thanks, Jess. You’re the best. Do you want one of my Santa ones?’
‘No, that’s okay, I had one left over anyway.’
‘I thought we bought exactly the right amount?’ I query. Maybe she doesn’t want one of Charlie’s cards because she thinks they’re too babyish. ‘I’ve probably got one or two spares with Christmas trees on, if you like?’
‘No, it’s okay.’ Jess shakes her head and gets back to writing her cards. From the set of her shoulders, I can tell her fleeting good mood has evaporated.
‘Everything okay?’
She shrugs.
‘Jess?’
‘I’m not going to give Amy a card.’
‘You’re not?’
‘No. Because I don’t think she’s going to give one to me.’
‘You two still not talking?’
‘No. She’s best friends with Shayla now.’ She still hasn’t turned around to face me. Instead, she’s hunched over her cards.
‘Well, that’s okay. At least you’ve got lots of other friends. And they’re going to love your reindeer cards.’ I reach up into one of the cupboards for a jar of pasta sauce, wishing I could make things right between her and Amy. But it’s impossible.
The front door slams. Matt’s home. The kids slide off their stools and go into the hall to greet him. I suppose I could have a flaming row with him about how he went behind my back and spoke to Dee about Holly. I was furious with him earlier, but I don’t want an argument. In my heart of hearts I know Matt thought he was doing the right thing. I know he thought he was looking out for me.
I also wish I could tell him about mine and Kate’s encounter in the car park today. But then I’d have to explain about meeting Bella yesterday, and he wouldn’t understand. So instead, I’ll pretend everything’s perfectly okay and normal. This state of affairs would never normally happen. Usually Matt and I would tell one another about any strange happenings in our day. It feels so wrong to keep this from him. Uncomfortable. Like there’s a stone in my shoe that I’m not allowed to take out.
‘Hey, Rach.’ Matt comes into the kitchen with both children talking at him at the same time. Two entirely different conversations that he’s managing to follow perfectly.
‘Hi, Matt. Good day?’
‘Not bad.’
We kiss, and I’m struggling with all my conflicting emotions – anger, love, irritation, frustration – but most of all, I’m simply aching to hold onto him longer than our usual quick hug. I want him to embrace me and make everything all right. I have this overwhelming urge to tell him every single detail about the past few days. To throw myself on his mercy and ask him to help me sort it all out. Instead, I keep it all inside, smile and start grating some cheese into a bowl.
The children hop back up onto their stools and show Matt their cards. He makes suitably appreciative sounds before turning to me with a smile. ‘Hey, guess what?’
‘What?’
‘Mum said she’d babysit tonight so we can go out for a drink.’
‘Tonight?’ Normally, I’d jump at the chance for a night out with my lovely man, but I have things I really need to do.
‘Yeah, thought I’d be a bit spontaneous for a change. It’s almost Christmas and it would be fun to have some time for just the two of us.’
‘Why can’t we come?’ Jess asks.
‘Because it’s a school night,’ Matt replies, bopping her on the nose with his forefinger.
‘So?’
‘So you’d be tired tomorrow. And children aren’t allowed in bars.’
‘Are you going to get drunk?’ Charlie asks.
‘Charlie!’ I turn to look at Matt, who grins at me. ‘How do you know about getting drunk?’
‘Bethany Marshall said her mum got drunk at the weekend and fell asleep on the sofa.’
‘Well, Mummy and Daddy won’t be doing that,’ I assure our son, giving him my sternest face.
‘So?’ Matt asks me. ‘What do you think? Thought we could get a taxi to the Hungry Horse. Then if it stops raining we can walk home afterwards.’
‘It sounds good, but would you mind if we didn’t go tonight? It’s just, I’m pretty tired and I’m starting to get a throbbing head.’ I tip the pasta shells into a pan of boiling water, which bubbles up too quickly and starts frothing over the hob.
‘Really?’ Matt’s eyebrow quirks up. ‘A headache? But we hardly ever go out.’ He reaches up to get some pasta bowls out of the cupboard.
I didn’t realise he’d be so disappointed. He clearly doesn’t believe my headache excuse. To be fair, I thought it sounded lame when I said it. I consider changing my mind and agreeing to go. Our relationship has been suffering lately, which is totally my fault. But I need some down time to make my next move with the Morrises. I can’t give that as an excuse, because Matt wouldn’t understand. ‘Sorry, Matt. Can we save it till the weekend, or one day next week?’
His shoulders droop. ‘I suppose we’ll have to. I was really in the mood to go out though.’
‘So, why don’t you? You should text some mates and go out with them.’
He turns up his nose. ‘I suppose I could. But I really wanted to go with my gorgeous girlfriend.’ He twinkles at me in the hope of getting me to change my mind. But I’m too wound up to go out and relax in some wine bar with all Matt’s attention focused on me. To pretend that everything’s okay, when my brain is racing with things I can’t speak to him about.
‘Sorry. I’m just not up to it tonight.’
‘Okay. Maybe I’ll call Stu and Mike.’
‘Good idea.’
‘I’ll have to cancel Mum. She was excited about coming over.’
‘Is Gran coming round?’ Charlie asks.
‘Not tonight,’ I reply.
He huffs and pulls a disappointed face.
‘Can she come round anyway?’ Jess asks. ‘Even though you’re not going out.’
‘Not tonight. Let’s ask her over at the weekend.’ I drain the pasta and blink as the steam rises into my face.
Matt’s mum, Stella, is a lovely woman. She adores her family – myself included, even though Matt and I aren’t married. She and Matt are really close, and I guess you could say that Matt is a bit of a mummy’s boy. But that’s uncharitable of me; her husband Doug died a couple of years ago, so Matt’s just looking out for her. She keeps herself busy though, and has an active social life – dance classes, art club, the WI – Stella does it all. Everyone knows her and everyone loves her. Her family – she’s one of four sisters, all with children – have lived in Wareham for several generations so she’s a real part of the community. I’m lucky to have been accepted into such a warm environment. And it’s great for the kids, who love their gran.
We take our bowls of pasta through to the dining room and eat all together for a change. Matt sits and eats, interrupted periodically by texts from his friends as he arranges their evening out. Normally, we wouldn’t have phones at the dinner table, but because I turned down Matt’s invitation, I don’t say anything. The kids point out the unfairness of it and Matt finally puts his phone down, but his attention isn’t on us any more. He bolts his food and then goes up to get ready while I sort out the children’s bedtime.
Finally, they’re both tucked up, and Matt is out of the house. Now I can settle down and make the phone call I’ve been itching to make ever since I came up with the idea. I take a cup of herbal tea into the lounge and sit with my feet tucked under me. The wood burner is roaring, and the room feels cosy and warm. I shouldn’t be nervous ringing up one of my friends, but I am. It’s not the actual phone conversation that has my heart racing and my palms sweating – it’s the thought of what it will lead to.
I cal
l the number, hoping she’ll pick up.
‘Hi, Rachel.’
‘Hi, Heidi. I’m not disturbing you, am I?’
‘As long as you’re not calling to say you can’t help out at the fayre next week!’
‘As if I’d do that to you. I know how much work you’ve been putting in. Matt said he can get there by five.’
‘Brilliant.’
I twirl a lock of hair around my fingers and hope I can make my next sentence sound casual. ‘I just thought I’d mention that a new mum, Kate Morris, said she and her husband Shaun wanted to help out at the fayre. Shall I give you her number so you can work it out?’
‘Oh, yes, Amy’s mum. Don’t worry, I’ve already spoken to her and both she and her husband are manning the bottle stall. It’s the most popular stand, so I thought it would be a good way for them to meet everyone.’
‘Great idea.’ This is perfect. Even though Heidi can’t see me, I’m smiling anyway.
‘Kate seems really nice, and Ella says Amy’s great.’
‘Yeah, lovely family,’ I say, shaking my head and rolling my eyes, hoping that didn’t sound too sarcastic.
‘How’s things with you and the kids? Once the holidays are over we’ll have to meet up for a coffee.’
‘Definitely. We’ll get something in the diary.’
We make a little more small talk, but my mind isn’t here on the phone with Heidi, it’s racing ahead to next Wednesday when I’m going to have to let Heidi down. Because while all the Morrises will be helping out at the school fayre, their flat will be unoccupied.
25
Then
‘What do you mean, you’re calling the police?’ Catriona cries, a bolt of panic crashing through her. ‘You can’t do that. Darren. Please!’ She’s aware that the sound of crying is still coming from the back bedroom. She needs to go in there. To check that the little girl is okay. But she can’t leave Darren alone with his phone. She can’t risk him calling the authorities.
The Other Daughter (ARC) Page 14