Nightsong

  “Thank you for joining me Sabyr,” she said as I took my seat.

  “The pleasure is mine, I don’t think I could take another day reading and napping,” I said, a frown following my smile. She smiled in return, pouring tea from a new elaborate teapot. Cinnamon and orange floated up to my nose as she poured.

  “I hope you aren’t upset at me,” she said.

  “Whatever for?”

  “It is partially my fault Raest has gone away again.”

  “Don’t be silly, you were injured. Your homeland is far more important.”

  “I appreciate that, but it must be putting a strain on things. Whenever my husband was away on duties, it drove me mad. But in the case of you two, the relationship has just barely begun. It cannot be easy.”

  The fact I was against the whole thing, to begin with, did not make it easy, but I was starting to feel differently. I decided not to tell Ora that.

  At the mention of her husband, I remembered the names I had seen in the book of records. There had been more than one with her last name.

  “Your husband, he was Rasha, wasn’t he?”

  Ora nodded in recognition, the sting of the memory clear.

  “Was Azra your brother?”

  A weak smile followed. “He was my son. My one and only. He was lost with Kyo.”

  Sickening regret came forth, I hated myself for asking.

  “I’m not very good at figuring things out am I?” I sighed.

  “I take no offence, I understand you are curious,” she said, sipping from her rose petal cup. “Azra wanted to be just like his father and like the rest of my family. Serve the king and queen for honour and glory. He died like the rest of them too.” She pushed a plate of biscuits towards me.

  “Has anyone told you how I became ruler of Aralos?” she asked.

  I shook my head.

  Ora beared a fanged grin, full of pride, but almost cruel. “Rasha was a Worg, my family old fashioned. I was next in line as ruler, but when my family found out I married a Worg, they disowned me. Not in the conventional way either. They cut off my wings and tore out my horns. Horns grow back, wings do not. Eventually though, every single one of them perished in the wars, and I was the only one left. I garnered enough support for my throne and took it back.”

  I gaped at her. That explained the scars on her back. How could anyone do that to their child?

  “To do that to you… over the mate you chose. I can't even begin to imagine how you must have felt.”

  “Betrayed and furious at first. Now, just regret. Regret that none of them lived long enough to watch me take it,” she cackled.

  We chatted through the daylight and well into the sunset. The warmth of the sun dissipated quickly, and the night chill crawled in. Servants came to pack away the plates, and I rose from my seat, legs numb from sitting. My stomach lurched a bit, a sudden pang of nausea.

  “Are you alright?” Ora asked, looking concerned.

  “Fine. Just too much sugar, I'm not used to eating so much,” I laughed.

  “Everyone says I have a terrible sweet tooth. I'll make sure we have something more savoury next time.”

  I nodded, but my teeth began to chatter as the chill crawled into my skin.

  Ora wrapped her arm around me. “Time to go inside then. I should get some rest anyway.”

  The sound of our footsteps echoed horribly in the hall, the emptiness of the castle obvious.

  “I don't think I have seen this place so empty before and hopefully I will never have to again,” Ora said as we walked to her room.

  “I always had my siblings around. I'm not used to this silence,” I replied.

  “Well, I think I am stuck here until the eclipse festival. Now that I feel a little better I can keep you company,” Ora smiled, squeezing me tight in her arms.

  “No complaints there.” Crushing me into a hug, she bid me sweet dreams, promising to bother me tomorrow. Having her around was beginning to feel like having a fun aunty around. I felt less out of place.

  Chapter 30

  A knock and a rattle woke me from my slumber, but before my eyes could adjust to see my visitor, my gut churned. Illness overcame me, and I pushed myself off the bed, bolting for the bathroom. I barely made it to a bucket before vomiting out the contents of my stomach.

  “It’s about time,” Eed cooed behind me.

  I pulled my head up from the bucket “Time for what?” I heaved.

  “Your pregnancy, of course. The sooner Raest has heirs, the better.”

  The realisation of the impossibility of that sent me hurling into the bucket once more. “That’s impossible! I mean, we’ve only been married for three weeks, sickness shouldn’t come this quickly,” I managed to splutter.

  Eed walked over to me and gently pulled back the hair from my face. “Illyd children are strong. Mothers often feel sickness earlier than other races,” she said as she spooled my hair, tying it firmly. “Raest must know at once. I’ll get Esu to confirm it and then send out a raven.”

  Sickness and panic gripped me. My nails dug into the bucket as I tried to hold it back. It was impossible for me to be pregnant with Raest’s child. If I was with child, then there would only be one possible father. Nyx. Oh Arndell, what in Erohk had I gotten myself into. I had been too carried away with my time with Nyx to worry about things like that.

  I felt a strong tug on my arm as Eed helped me off the floor. I swayed and staggered with my bucket over to a nearby chair. Easing me down into the seat, Eed brought water to my lips.

  “Drink. Mother and baby need to stay hydrated,” she said.

  Oh, gods, this was too much. I manage to choke down a few sips before pushing it away.

  “I’ll fetch Esu, is there anything else you need?” Eed asked.

  I thought for a few moments. A long drop would be nice or at least a very stiff drink. I don’t think she would be supplying me with either or appreciate the joke of it.

  “If you happen to see Nyx, send him to me. I need to speak with him,” I said. She eyed me a little suspiciously. I had no idea if she knew about our involvement. I didn’t really care.

  “Of course. I think he was in the dining hall. I will be back soon,” and with that Eed left the room, the door creaking shut behind her.

  My sickness began to fade, but the fear lingered. It was true I had not bled for some time, but that was not unusual for me. I had always been warned that my body was ill-suited for motherhood. Regardless, what would Raest do if I was pregnant with Nyx’s child? Raest was both gentle and frightening. Having your wife pregnant with another man is enough to force the latter. Not to mention, I already had more than enough problems as is. Would I be sent away or forced into a termination? I’m sure the Illyd had plenty of concoctions to do that job. Would Nyx want to keep it? Would I want to keep it?

  I pulled up my shirt and placed a cold hand onto my belly. “Please just be illness, I can’t deal with you right now,” I whispered to my phantom child.

  The bedroom door creaked open, and Nyx strolled in. He smiled at first, but his eyes wandered to the bucket and then to my face. Concern flashed into his eyes.

  “Eed looked very happy when she came to see me, but you look dreadful. So now I’m not sure what to think. Are you alright?”

  I nodded. “I’m alright, but we might have a bit of a problem. Come sit down.”

  Nyx rubbed the back of his neck nervously before moving into the chair next to me. “And now I’m terrified,” he mumbled as he folded his arms across his broad chest.

  “I am not well this morning. Eed thinks… Eed thinks I’m pregnant.”

  Nyx’s knuckles whitened, and his jaw tightened. “Then I guess I should be congratulating you and Raest. But why did you call me here to tell me that I don’t quite get,” he said, almost in a growl.

  I sighed and shook my head at him. “Because, you idiot, it can’t be Raest’s.”

  “What do you mean it can’t be?”

  I shifted uncomfortably
in my chair. “I told you about our terms. We still haven't...”

  Nyx’s eyes widened, “But that would mean?”

  “It’s yours.”

  He opened his mouth to speak, but a smile stole his words. A glint of happiness danced in his eyes. He reached out to take my hand and squeezed it firmly.

  “That’s… That’s wonderful,” Nyx whispered.

  I blinked astonished. This was certainly not the reaction I expected.

  “Wonderful? Are you crazy? Our situation! Aren’t you afraid?” I spat.

  “Of course, I am. I mean, I don’t know how Raest will react, but it’s not like you were unfaithful to him. He! He fucking interfered with us. He forced you to marry him! If it wasn’t for him!” Nyx trailed off as he looked away from me. He gulped, “I’ll never forgive him. He robbed us of so much potential.”

  “Stop pushing everything onto him. I agreed too,” I stammered.

  “No wasn't even an option for you. I'm not angry at you anymore.”

  I placed my hand on top of his and sighed again, “Maybe you should go back to being an asshole, it would make this so much easier.”

  He grinned and pulled himself onto his feet. “I want to make this clear, Sabyr. I won’t let Raest take this child as his own. I will fight to raise it myself. He might have robbed me of you, but he won’t rob me of my son.”

  “Son? I think you are getting a little ahead of yourself now. Nyx. I might not even be pregnant. I ate a million cakes yesterday.”

  “I know, but every father wants a son first,” he beamed.

  I stared at him. Stared at his beautiful lilac eyes, his calming, gorgeous face. I wished things were different. I think I might always wish things were different.

  Once again, a knock sounded at the door, interrupting my melancholy dreaming. I called for them to enter. Eed entered, followed by Esu in his usual robe. He carried a flask and a leather-bound tool kit.

  “Good morning Lady Nightsong and Lord Astrana. I do hope I haven’t kept you waiting,” Esu smiled as he waved the flask at us.

  “Not at all, Esu. Where do you want me?” I asked.

  “You can just keep sitting in that chair and roll up your sleeve. I only need to get a little bit of blood. I hope you’re not afraid of needles.”

  “I think I’ve been jabbed by too many swords to be afraid of a little needle now,” I joked.

  Nyx cocked a little grin, but Esu just looked concerned and Eed completely unamused. Eed had no sense of humour. Esu was too much of a carer figure. I rolled up my sleeve, and Esu unpacked his kit on the table next to me. Needles and syringes in various sizes sat in pouches, along with a scalpel. Esu pulled out the smallest syringe but a larger needle and attached it with one firm click.

  “This might hurt just a little bit,” he said as he placed one hand on my arm and the other brought down the syringe to my vein. It felt so strange to be touched by him. The pads on his fingers and palms were soft like human skin, but the fur from between the pads tickled my arm. I was far too preoccupied at the wedding to notice it before.

  I felt a slight sting as the needle pierced my skin, and after a few moments, blood began to fill the chamber of the syringe. I gasped when I noticed the colour. The blood in the needle was dark, almost red black. It was nothing like the human shade I had come to know.

  “Esu, something’s wrong! My blood isn’t normally that colour, it's red like every other human! I think I’m really sick!”

  Esu frowned and brought the needle up to the light.

  “Really? Well, that is concerning. It could have something to do with carrying an Illyd child. Our blood colours range from shades of blacks, rubies, purples, and blues. I’ll take some of this blood for testing regardless. But first things first.”

  He placed the empty flask onto the counter and waved a hand over it. In an instant, it filled with what appeared to be plain water. Esu pulled a yellow flower from his robe and dropped it into the water. It stained the liquid a pale citrine. The needle was held above the flask, and a single drop of blood fell into the water. Citrine morphed to dark orange, and Esu placed his hand onto the glass.

  “If it turns bright blue, you are with child. Bright red indicates a negative reading.”

  I nodded for him to begin. Everyone in the room stared at the flask intently. Esu mumbled a few words and a slight spark illuminated the mixture for a few seconds. “Should take about a minute.”

  We sat watching, waiting. I felt sick again. So much hung on this one simple test. After seeing Nyx’s reaction, I didn't know what colour I wanted it to turn. The water began to swirl in the glass. Various colours formed clouds, swirling and surging into one another until finally, one colour dominated all. It was red.

  “I’m sorry my Lady Nightsong, but it appears to be negative,” Esu sighed.

  Eed clicked her tongue. I couldn’t look at Nyx.

  “It’s alright. It was always a possibility,” I mumbled as I pulled down my sleeve. I felt a mixture of relief, guilt, and disappointment.

  Esu began separating my blood into various tubes as he spoke. “Unfortunately, a negative test is worrying for your illness and your blood change. You don’t feel like you have a temperature. I’m going to test this right away, it should be done in a day or two.”

  A fearful thought rose to my chest.

  “You don't think that Secosa might have something to do with this?”

  “Erohk no! If she did, I doubt you would have lasted this long. It is likely nothing to worry about,” Esu said as he began to gather up his tools, his claws clinking on the glass and metal. Without another word, he hurried out the door. Eed grumbled something next to me and folded her arms crossly.

  “You will just have to try a bit harder,” she huffed.

  I fought back a sneer that was fighting its way onto my face. What in Erohk was that supposed to mean? Eed huffed and walked towards the exit.

  “I’ll be back to help you dress once I sort breakfast out.” And she left.

  I finally turned to Nyx. His face was as gloomy as I expected. I stood up and reached for him, but I couldn’t help myself. I lunged into his embrace, crushing him against my body. Tears began to run down my cheeks.

  “I’m so sorry, I should have kept this to myself until I knew for sure,” I sobbed into his chest. I felt him sigh against me. He moved his arms to envelope me in his warmth.

  “Don’t be. It’s probably for the best anyway. It would have created quite the mess. I won’t lie though, I am a bit disappointed.”

  I sobbed harder at his words, and he held me tighter.

  “I should go before Eed catches us,” he whispered into my ear.

  “I don’t give a flying fig what that pushy shrew thinks,” I growled.

  He laughed lightly and then began to pull away. I stood there, wet faced and puffy-eyed. Nyx looked so miserable. How long would he be suffering like this? I wish he would just go and find someone else, something to distract him. Something to forget about me and this. Our entanglement had been so short, but we had burned so brightly. It was going to be hard to forget.

  “Don’t look at me like that or I’ll have to kiss you and then I’d get in trouble,” Nyx mouthed at me.

  I wiped the tears from my eyes, smiling slightly. “We wouldn’t want that would we?”

  “Eed would probably beat me to death with a dinner tray.”

  Nyx reached out and brushed his fingertips over mine. He whispered a goodbye as he left, his head hanging like a dog dismissed by its master. As soon as I heard his footsteps fade to nothing I crawled into my bed, the bucket not too far off, and cried myself to sleep.

  Chapter 31

  I refused to leave my room for two days as the sickness enfeebled me. Ora came to sit with me a few times for comfort. Eed had brought me food now and then and badgered me when I hadn’t eaten anything. But I felt too sickly, too sad to eat or move. I couldn't remember a time in my life when I had felt like this.

  The clock in my room
struck seven, a blackbird burst from its doors singing out the hour. Eed entered the room, a thick cloak in hand.

  “Your husband has returned. Perhaps you wish to greet him?” For a moment I wasn't sure if I heard correctly.

  “What?” I asked, my voice a little raspy.

  “I informed him of your illness, it is my duty to do so. It would appear he has returned early for you,” Eed said as she draped the cloak across the bed.

  I scowled at her annoyed, a flu wasn't worth bringing him back! I hoped she had only told him I was feeling ill. I grabbed the cloak and shuffled off the bed, stretching. My body was so stiff. I wobbled to my feet and slid on a pair of silver slippers.

  I made my way down the corridors, heading towards the dining room. As I approached the hall, I could make out Raest's voice, as well as another. I turned the corner to find Esu and Raest sitting at the dining table. They spoke in hushed voices. Even with my hearing, I couldn’t make out a word. But I could see Esu’s catlike ears. They drooped sadly, his tail limp with worry. Bad news then.

  Raest jumped up from the table as soon as he realised I was there. Rushing over to me, he took both my hands, flinching at their lack of warmth.

  “Sabyr, are you alright? I came as quick as I could” he asked, his voice laced with panic.

  “I'm fine. A little under the weather is all. Eed worried you for nothing and probably wasted your time. Aralos is far more important.”

  “No. I'm glad she did. Reinforcements have arrived, Aralos is in good hands,” he assured. He brought his hand up to brush the mess from my eyes, he smiled sad and sweet. “I was so worried about you. I thought Secosa might have managed to get at you somehow, but Esu said he tested you for any signs of magic interference and found nothing.”

  “Did he manage to find anything at all?” I asked.

  “Forgive me, Lady Nightsong,” Esu cut in. “I don’t have much news for you yet. The good news is I have ruled out most illnesses as the cause, but I have a few more tests to run. But I suspect that your pallor may just be a symptom of your new environment.”