Knowing that will be taken care of, I close my eyes.
“Slade! Ricky! Help me lift him!” Sparky barks out sharply.
Strangely, the pain disappears, and I wonder: is this it? Did I wake up this morning not realising this could be my final day? The cancer diagnosis just about wrecked me, but I knew I’d survive because I wouldn’t let it take me out. I always knew it would be from a bullet wound; I’m not usually wrong, and I wasn’t about this. I did have hope, though, that it would be Alannah’s face I last saw before death took me. Her face has been the one I think of when waking, and the last before falling asleep. Even after all these years, I haven’t had enough with her—I never could.
A sharp sting hits my cheek. When my eyes flutter open, I find I’m in the back of the van, Sparky’s hovering over me. I hear Ricky and Slade shouting in the front, but I can’t make out what they’re saying.
“Leo isn’t ready for the gavel, but he’ll take it. You gotta guide him in the right direction.”
“Why? You going somewhere?”
The playfulness in his tone is forced, but it’s who he is. He’s the guy who tries to find the silver lining in times like this.
“I’m fucking dying, brother. Hell is waiting for me.”
Talking is too hard, and blood spurts from my mouth as I try to clear my throat.
“The fuck you are. Shut your fucking mouth. You’ve been shot before and came through. You had cancer for fuck’s sake and beat it. You let this take you out, I’ll be embarrassed for you.”
Ignoring him, trying to keep shit light, I say, “Promise you’ll watch over Alannah and my boys.”
“Shut the fuck up, Cas.”
Trying to lift my hand is a chore, but I weakly grip onto Sparky’s cut and pull him closer so I don’t have to use much energy trying to be heard. The closer he is, the clearer I see the tears streaming down his cheeks.
“You know I’m dying, and I need to hear you promise me you’ll look after my family, keep them fucking close.”
Sniffing hard, he scrubs his face and turns angry. “Cas, if—and I mean if—you die, you fucking know I’ll look out for them. Everyone in the club will. Don’t insult me by having to ask.”
It’s not about me not knowing he’ll do it. I need to hear him say it, as it’s the last thing I can do for them.
“Tell Alannah I love her, more than anything, and that I’m sorry she’s gonna be hurting now, and that she’s been the only one my whole life. Tell my boys they’re my world, and I’m so fucking proud of them.”
“I can’t listen to this, brother, because you’re not going anywhere!” he yells, focusing up front. “How far out are we?”
I don’t hear the response. Closing my eyes, I fill my mind with memories of Alannah and my sons.
The day I married her.
The day Leo was born.
The night Luca was born.
The three times my life was given a purpose other than wearing the patch. The club can be dark, but they were my light. If there is something after death, I’ll spend it watching over them until the day comes when we’re reunited.
“You were the first person I ever trusted…” Panting, I try to gather enough energy to finish. “I love you, brother.”
Keeping his hands on my wound, he cranks his head over mine, and I see the fear winning over the light side of my best friend.
“Trust me now, then, when I say this isn’t your time.”
My eyes drift closed, and a warmth flows over me. I always vowed I’d be a Lost Soul till I died, and I was right.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Holly
Leo brought me down to the bar a couple of hours ago, and his daughter is currently sleeping with her head on my lap as I sit on the couch. Whatever the doctor gave me kicked in fast, because I don’t feel as if I’m dying anymore. But I do feel a little nauseous, and extremely tired. Not that I can sleep for wanting answers, though, hence why I’m down here. A part of me thinks Leo only offered to bring me down here so he could keep an eye on me, as well as keep me distracted.
“What does it mean that you laid a claim on me?” I ask him after hearing others talking about it.
“It means I told the club you’re to be trusted, and if I’m wrong, I’ll have to pay a price.”
Swallowing thickly, I daren’t prod him further. It’ll be a question for later, because I want to know what the price is. If I’ve learned one thing about this club, it’s that he’s not talking money.
“What were your plans when you were done with Tal—I mean, Ethan?” he asks, obviously not wanting to talk about it either.
I look up at him, sitting at the opposite end of the couch as he stares down at his daughter.
“It was meant to be fun while on summer break. When I met Ethan, I thought he was enough to distract me from my dad badgering me to finish my last year of college.”
“But that isn’t what you want?”
I shake my head. “I have no idea what I want to do. I’m happy enough to wake up each day and see what it brings. But now, with my hands…” I can’t bring myself to think of them, let alone say out loud they’re fucked, so I move on. “I feel like I need to have a plan to accommodate how I’m going to survive in this world now.”
With the darkest brown eyes I’ve ever seen, he focuses his attention on me. Seeing past the colour, I can almost feel the sorrow having made a home inside of him. I don’t know what’s caused it, but it’s there.
“You don’t need a plan. I think planning is overrated, and it most always leads to disappointment.”
I couldn’t agree with him more.
“Is that what happened to you? You made plans that left you disappointed?”
The little girl sleeping on my lap obviously has a mother somewhere, but she doesn’t seem to be around.
“It was my actions that led to my plans shattering and leaving me disappointed.” He looks down at my hands, then back to me. “You getting involved with Ethan led to this happening to you, but it shouldn’t have.”
“Is that why you’re helping me? You feel sorry for me?”
His eyes narrow into slits, but not because he’s angry at what I asked. It’s more like he’s trying to figure out how to answer. There’s a war going on in his head, and the longer I spend time with him, the more I want to know his story.
“I don’t feel anything anymore, apart from my blood. I don’t make plans. I helped you because it was the right thing to do, as you were never meant to be a part of our fight.”
“How long will you help me for? There’s going to come a day where I have to leave and go home.”
“Why did you first come here?”
“To get away from my life.”
“Then why are you in such a rush to go home?” he retorts. “What’s wating for you there?”
Not much, but they’re still my parents. As much as my father pecks at me about college and heading into a career, he’s still my dad. He loves me, and only wants what’s best for me.
“It’s okay not knowing what you want to do. It’s what life is, figuring it out as you go.”
“Is that how you live?”
Arching his brow, he says, “Like I said, planning is overrated.”
Before I can open my mouth to ask him again for a solid answer as to why he’s helping me, a commotion at the door gets his attention.
Glancing over, I see Ethan being shoved through the door, one of the brothers training a gun at his head.
Leo jumps up from the couch, and I gently slide out and replace my lap with a cushion under Rayna’s head as not to disturb her. I was taken aback when Leo brought her over, and she climbed onto my lap. She seems like a clingy child, which I’m guessing has something to do with her mom.
An old guy drags a chair from a table into the middle of the bar, and Ethan is shoved onto it and quickly tied to it.
The bruising around his eye has darkened, and I look around for his parents. They’re nowhere to be s
een, and my heart begins to race, wondering what’s going on now. Staying close to Leo, I try to listen in to everyone talking, but none of it makes sense.
“Why’s he here?” Leo demands, and the men in the bar go quiet.
It’s JJ who steps forward. “Shit went south. You need to get to the hospital.”
“Why?” Leo drags out slowly, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Your dad was shot. It didn’t look good.”
Dropping his arms to his sides, he clenches his fists.
“Who shot him?” His demand is vehement enough to have his friend back away.
“Bert.”
In the blink of an eye, Leo grabs the closest table and flips it over, sending beer bottles crashing to the floor. The chairs to his left are then picked up and thrown across the bar, forcing guys to quickly move out of the way.
“Brother, you can’t do this now. You need to leave.”
I agree with JJ. No one seems to be making a move to calm him, and before I realise what I’m doing, I cross the small space between us and place my hand on his upper arm.
He stills instantly, his back heaving with his rapid breathing.
“You should go. I can watch Rayna,” I say quietly, aware everyone is watching.
Turning, he looks down at me, as there’s quite a difference in height between us. I burn to cup his cheek, wanting to soothe his frustrations, but one, I can’t on account of the bandages. And two, it would imply we’re something more than the nothing we are.
His voice is strained when he orders, “You don’t leave this bar, you hear me?”
“I won’t, I promise.”
Without taking his eyes off of mine, he says to someone over his shoulder, “Find Luca. He’s here somewhere.”
He’s prepared to pay a price if I turn out to be anything but the honest person I say I am, so the least I can do is promise to watch his kid while he goes to his dad.
Spinning around, he looks back to his brother.
“Has anyone told my mom?”
JJ shakes his head. “No.”
I know it’s his brother as soon as he jogs down the stairs just by looking at him. Their dark hair and olive skin tone match, but his brother has startling green eyes, whereas Leo’s are dark like his father’s.
“What the fuck am I hearing Dad’s been shot?” Luca barks, coming face-to-face with his brother.
“We need to go get Mom, then haul ass to the hospital.”
Leo looks over his shoulder at me, and then to his daughter. “I’ll see you both soon.”
He and his brother walk out, leaving me to backtrack to the couch with numerous sets of eyes watching me.
Rayna is still sleeping soundly, the commotion her father caused not affecting her at all, making me envious of her.
“Why did Leo put a claim on you?”
Zara’s shadow falls over me, and I tear my eyes away from Rayna to look at my friend.
“I have no idea,” I tell her truthfully.
Turning cold, she snarls and disappears to the bar. I don’t have the time or energy to worry about her jealously. It’s not like I’m trying to take him from her, though from what she told me, he was never hers to begin with.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Leo
Déjà vu ripples through me as I walk into the hospital with my Mom and Luca. It was only a few years ago we were here because my dad was shot on a run.
Sparky is waiting for us in the reception area, covered in my dad’s blood. Mom sobs at the sight and rushes toward him.
Holding her tight, he tips his head to me and Luca.
“What’s going on? Tell me he’s still alive,” Mom cries.
“They rushed him through the doors and made us wait here. No one’s told us anything.”
Slade and Ricky get up from their chairs and take turns hugging my mom.
Tugging on her arm, I pull her away from Slade and tell her to go find out what’s happening.
Turning to the men who will be just as crushed as me if Dad doesn’t make it, I ask, “How was he when he got here?”
“One of the nurses said she couldn’t find a pulse as they took him.”
Inhaling deeply, I barely register Luca’s growl of anger from beside me.
Sparky grabs me by the arm and ushers me back outside. Shrugging out of his grip, I cross my arms over my chest.
“The rat?”
“Tied to a chair in the bar. Tell me what you brought me out here for?”
“I’ll be honest with you, it’s not looking good for your dad. He was bleeding out, but wanted to make sure his last words were for you, your mom, and Luca.”
I’m not interested in his last words, because he’s not fucking dying. He’s Cas Jackson, President of the Lost Souls MC, and a fucking legend. Many have tried to take him out, and they’ve all failed.
“He passed the gavel to you as his firstborn.”
I look away. I can’t bear to see the defeat in his eyes. Pinching my chin, he jerks my head toward him.
“Your dad is my best fucking friend—he’s my family. The day he dies is the day half my soul dies with him. I’ve stood by him for forty years. We were barely eighteen when we wore the patch, been through some fucking hard times we didn’t think we’d survive. But tonight, I could feel him slipping away from me, and I’m so goddamn scared, Leo. I’m fucking petrified that when tomorrow comes, he’s not going to be here anymore.”
His words penetrate the stubbornness that flows through me, but I hold my head high.
“While there’s breath in his body, I don’t think about the gavel. I can’t.”
“I get it, Leo. But the club is going to need strong leadership if the worst should happen. After everything you’ve been through, and are still going through, the brothers will follow you. You were born to lead one day, and if that day is tomorrow, you’ll take your father’s patch and you will lead us. Do you understand?”
That day isn’t going to be tomorrow, because I’m not ready to take over my father’s club. It’s his and his alone. I had one person to protect, and I couldn’t even do that. India died because of me and my choices; the club shouldn’t want to follow me.
“Leo,” Sparky growls.
The fear in his eyes shines bright.
“What?”
What could he possibly have to add?
“You need to prepare yourself that when we leave here, it will be without your dad.”
Digging my teeth into my bottom lip, it takes the strong need away from wanting to punch my dad’s oldest friend in the jaw.
“I prepare for nothing. If he doesn’t make it, I’ll start from there. As far as the club is concerned, we do what we always do, and vote on who takes his patch.”
Bracing his hands on his hips, his jaw tightens.
“Don’t look at me like that,” I snap. “You of all people shouldn’t be talking like he’s already dead.”
“He had no fucking pulse, Leo,” he bellows, getting in my face. “You weren’t with him, I was, and when I say his chances weren’t high, I’m not saying it for shits and giggles. I’m not scared over nothing.”
Breathing heavily, he says more calmly, “I’m only doing what he asked. The only thing he loves more than his family is the club. He wouldn’t want the club slipping because he went and died on us.”
Leaving me outside as the rain starts up again, I close my eyes, exhaling long and hard. Trust my dad to worry about the fate of the club as he bleeds out.
* * *
“He should be out of surgery by now, surely?” Mom murmurs from the plastic chair in the waiting area.
“No news is good news,” Ricky says.
“Bullshit. Someone must know something,” Luca retorts.
I shut them all out.
Bonnie texted me an hour ago to say Holly had given Rayna some tea and was reading a book to her.
Holly asked me why I helped her, and I still don’t have an answer. All I know is that one look at h
er and her hands, I knew she wasn’t a part of Ethan’s plan to take us down. There was a halo of innocence around her, and I knew I had to step in and protect her.
“Finally,” Mom sighs when two doctors walk toward us.
When they don’t meet our eyes, my stomach sinks. Perhaps I should’ve prepared myself for the worst.
They take us all in, Sparky donning a sweater from the hospital gift shop under his cut. Mom couldn’t stand to see dad’s blood on him any longer.
“Mrs. Jackson?”
Mom stands, and Luca rushes to her side, while I remain leaning against the wall.
“Your husband’s gunshot wound to the stomach punctured his left kidney. We managed to stop the bleeding and repair the damage the bullet caused, but—”
“Just fucking say it,” Sparky growls.
“We had to remove one of his kidneys.”
“But he’s alive?”
“He’s in the ICU, and the next twenty-four hours are critical.”
“Would you say it looks good?” Luca questions.
“I would say you should stay close, and if there’s anyone who would like to say goodbye, they should get here soon. I’m sorry I don’t have better news. My colleague here will take you to your husband.”
Mom whimpers, “No,” and Luca wraps his arms around her, holding her tightly.
Sparky meets my eyes, and I hear what he’s silently telling me. He hangs his head, and Slade and Ricky fall back into the chairs.
As the doctor waits patiently, I push away from the wall.
“I’m going to check on Rayna.”
I make it halfway down the corridor when Luca shouts out, “You’re fucking leaving?”
“Dad isn’t going anywhere, and I have a daughter to check on. I’ll be back in a few hours.”
There’s no way I’m standing around here just to witness everyone acting like he’s already dead.
* * *
News has spread around the club when I walk into the bar and straight back out when they look to me for answers. Or worse, want to offer their support and pity.
The Club Betrayal: #8 Sons of Lost Souls MC series Page 12