by K. Street
Yes, please. My cheeks heated.
“Lie back.” His mellow tone made it seem like a request, but given the look on his face, it was the furthest thing from it.
As long as he kept looking at me like that, I’d do just about anything. My back met the pillowy softness of the mattress.
With his weight supported by his arms, Tucker hovered over me. Our gazes connected.
“Love you, baby.” He dipped his head, and starting at my neck, he trailed warm kisses over my skin.
Goose bumps danced over my flesh as my body reacted to his touch.
“I love you, too,” I said, my voice breathy.
He moved lower, inching his way down my torso, stoking the fire burning inside me.
After we spent the morning in bed, we took a shower, had a light breakfast, and ran to pick up my car from The Hideaway. We dropped it back off before we headed to his mom’s house for Sunday supper later that afternoon.
I stared out the truck window, incessantly bouncing my leg. Music drifted through the speakers, but it did little to take my mind off the horrible case of nerves I was suffering from.
Tucker sensed my unease, and his right hand shifted from the steering wheel to my jumping appendage. “Cam, stop. She’s going to love you.”
“How can you be so sure?” I asked.
“Because it’s impossible not to love you.” He spoke the words like a man who’d fought the battle and lost.
He was so sweet, but it didn’t change the fact that I was still anxious about meeting his mom even though he’d told me a hundred times that I didn’t have anything to worry about. Jared’s mom had hated me simply because she never thought I was good enough for her baby boy. The truth was, I wasn’t great with moms, and I was sure it stemmed from the fact that I didn’t have one. I took a deep, calming breath.
We drove up the long gravel driveway and came to a stop outside a beautiful, modest farmhouse with a huge porch. It was the kind of house you looked at and somehow knew that love lived and breathed within its walls.
I’d barely made it out of the truck when Shayne was at my side.
“Camryn, you came.”
She threw herself into my arms, and I picked her up, squeezing tightly, wincing slightly at my still-tender hand.
“Hey, sweet girl. Did you have fun with Grammy?”
“Yes.”
“I see how it is, Bug. You’re so excited to see Camryn, you forget all about Daddy,” Tucker teased.
“Aw, poor Daddy. Maybe you should go give him some love,” I said and released her.
Tucker opened his arms, and Shayne ran to him.
“Daddy, I could never forget about you.” She wrapped her arms around his neck.
We walked up the stairs that led to the porch where Tucker’s mom was waiting for us.
“Hi, Mom.” Tucker reached for her with his free arm and drew her into a hug. A long second later, Tucker freed her and set Shayne on her feet.
Shayne made a beeline for the porch swing while Tucker introduced me to his mom, “Mom, this is Camryn. Cam, this is my mom, Laura.”
Her arms embraced me. “Camryn, I am so happy to meet you.”
I heard the truth in her words, and a sense of relief washed over me as I returned her affection.
“Easy, Mom.”
Laura stepped back and playfully smacked Tucker on the arm. “Hush, you. I hope y’all are hungry. Come on inside.”
She opened the screen door, and we all filed into the house behind her.
“You good, baby?” Tucker asked, leaning in close, his hand on the small of my back.
“I’m great.” I looked up at him and smiled.
Shayne got in the middle and took each of our hands, tugging us toward the kitchen. “I helped Grammy make Rice Krispies Treats, and they’re super yummy.”
I laughed and knew exactly what she was up to.
Obviously, so did Tucker because he said, “Nice try, Bug. Let’s wash up, and we’ll help Grammy set the table.”
“Oh, man. Okay.”
The three of us walked over to the sink and took turns in washing our hands. Tucker and Shayne went to set the table on the back deck, leaving Laura and me in the house together.
“What can I do to help?”
“There’s homemade strawberry lemonade in a pitcher on the top shelf of the fridge, if you don’t mind grabbing it. There’s a stack of Solo cups in the cabinet to the left of the icebox, too. We’ll just take everything outside.”
“Sure.” I did as she’d asked and carried everything out to the table.
“I’m going to help Mom carry out the food. I’ll be right back.” Tucker kissed the top of my head and walked back inside.
Seconds later, arms laden with food, Tucker and Laura appeared. Shayne was already in her chair, waiting patiently. Tucker placed a platter of pot roast on the table. Laura set mashed potatoes and green beans alongside it.
“All right, I’m going to grab the gravy boat and the rolls. Do we need anything else?” Laura asked.
“I think we’re good, Mom,” Tucker said.
I poured lemonade into each of the cups and sat next to Shayne. Tucker waited for his mom to return, and once she emptied her hands, he pulled her chair out for her before he took his seat.
“Please help yourselves,” Laura said.
I picked up Shayne’s plate and held it, so Tucker could place roast on it. Then, I added a spoonful of the veggies and set it in front of her.
“Do you want gravy, kiddo?” I asked her.
“Yes, please.”
“Here you go.” Laura passed me the gravy boat with a megawatt smile on her face, and I put a spoonful over Shayne’s mashed potatoes.
The rest of us made our plates and began to eat. The dinner conversation was light, and we laughed and joked. I was hit with the realization that this was what I wanted more than anything in the world. To be part of a family—not just any family, but their family. All at once, I felt overcome with emotion, and I excused myself to the bathroom.
“It’s down the hall, second door on the left,” Laura said.
“Thank you. I’ll be right back.” I got up and went inside.
As I made my way through the house, I noticed the pictures scattered throughout the living room and in the hallway. One in particular caught my eye, and I stepped closer to inspect it. Younger versions of Tucker, Nash, and Macy stared back at me. I recognized Dani from the picture that I had seen on Tucker’s fridge months ago, though she looked much healthier in this photo. I didn’t have to guess who the gorgeous blonde was flanking Tucker’s other side. Judging by the way they looked at each other, they were completely enamored. The remaining guy in the snapshot could’ve been Tucker’s twin. They had the same eyes and very similar smiles. I stared at the photograph, fully aware there were parts of Tucker’s life I knew nothing about.
“I can’t bring myself to take that picture down. They were all so happy back then. Had their whole lives ahead of them,” Laura said quietly.
I jumped at the sound of her voice and pressed a hand over my heart.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“No, it’s fine. You surprised me; that’s all.” I was quiet for a second and then asked, “Is that … I mean, does Tucker have a brother?”
“Griffin, my oldest.” She nodded and stretched her index finger forward, pressing it to the glass. “He’s been gone for six years. The boys weren’t quite a year apart.”
“Tucker never talks about him.” I hadn’t even been aware he had a brother until now.
“I know.” Those two words were weighted with so much sadness. “Even after all this time, it’s so hard for him. They were best friends their whole lives. They were nearly inseparable until Griffin joined the military. When we lost Griff … Tuck never had time to grieve. He was too busy holding everyone else together. I still don’t think he’s grieved. Not really.”
“I had no idea.” My heart ached for her and for
Tucker, too.
I had grown up as an only child. I had no idea what it was like to have a sibling, let alone lose one, and I couldn’t imagine losing a child. Shayne wasn’t mine, but just the thought of losing her made me physically ill. It was unfathomable.
I turned to Laura and said the same words I’d grown to hate because I’d heard them so many times, “I’m so sorry for your loss.” I meant every syllable to my core.
She reached over, took my hand, and gave it a squeeze before dropping it. “Thank you.”
I already knew the answer, but I had to ask anyway, “The blonde beside Tucker … who is she?”
“Holly.” Her tone was laced with dejection and contempt.
Obviously, Holly had hurt Tucker deeply, but he’d had a baby with Dani, so maybe he’d been the one to hurt Holly. Though, from his reaction this morning, I didn’t think that was the case. It didn’t feel right to press Tucker’s mom for more information.
Laura seemed lost in her memories, and I wanted to give her a little space, so I took a step toward the bathroom even though I didn’t really have to go.
“Camryn …”
I stopped and turned back to face her. “Yes?”
She protectively folded her arms over her chest. “He loves you.”
“I know.”
“Do you though?”
Her question caught me a little off guard, and I quizzically looked at her. “I think so.”
“He’s never let anyone get close … not since …” She blew out a hard breath and gave a slight shake of her head, as if she knew perhaps some things were better left alone. “Please don’t hurt him.”
The look on her face nearly cracked me in two.
“I love your son. More than I ever thought possible. And I love your granddaughter, too. As long as they’ll have me, I’m not going anywhere.”
She crossed the space between us and wrapped me in a hug. “Welcome to the family.” She held me for a few long seconds, and when she pulled away, she said, “Now, how about we grab ourselves some Rice Krispies Treats, and you can tell me all about how you got that bruise on your hand. It looks pretty badass, and I’m thinking there is a story there.”
I laughed hard because I realized my being anxious to meet Laura Jaxson was the most ridiculous thing in the world.
30
Tucker
A few weeks had passed since Camryn first joined us for Sunday supper at my mom’s. Since then, she and my mom had hung out a few times. Once, they’d even taken Shayne out together for a girls’ day, and I loved that the three of them were spending time together.
Every day, I fell more in love with Camryn. She was the piece I hadn’t known was missing, and I wanted to make her a permanent part of our family. Nothing had ever felt so right. Maybe it was too soon, and there were logistics that had to be worked out. There was a part of my past she didn’t know about, but in the grand scheme of things, it didn’t matter because it didn’t change the truth. And the truth was, I wanted her, and I wanted a life with us.
For the last several years, it’d felt like I was going through the motions. Camryn had changed everything for me, and if I wanted a future with her, I had to fully let go of the past.
It was the Thursday before Thanksgiving. Things at work were a little slow, and since I had some time before I needed to leave to get Shayne from school, I went into my office and closed the door, not wanting to take the chance of anyone overhearing my conversation.
I pulled up the contact in my phone and pressed the Call icon.
“This is Darius.”
Darius Cannon was the owner of Cannon Custom Homes.
“Hey, man, it’s Tucker Jaxson.”
“Tucker, it’s been a while. How’s everything going?”
“Good. Better than good actually. Listen”—I kicked my feet up on my desk and leaned back in my chair—“I was wondering, how soon would it be possible to break ground?”
“Are you messing with me, Jaxson? You’ve been sitting on that land forever.”
He had a point.
“Nope. It’s time.”
“Let me check on a few things real quick.” Papers rustled in the background. Darius was silent for several beats. “We’re probably looking at March.”
I still had to have the land cleared. “That sounds perfect.”
We talked for a little more, and Darius gave me the names of a few land-clearing operators, which I jotted down on a piece of paper. After I hung up with him, I told Nash I was heading out. There was something I wanted to take care of, and I didn’t want to give myself a chance to back out.
I drove home and grabbed what I needed from my closet. If I hurried, I’d have enough time to drop the plans off at the blueprint shop for them to make a copy. My only hope was that, in a few weeks, when Camryn got her Christmas gift, she’d be as excited as I was.
31
Camryn
Tucker came up behind me as I stood at the kitchen island, chopping onions and celery for the dressing. His warm lips ghosted across the sensitive spot where my neck and shoulder met.
“Do you have any idea how fucking sexy you are in that apron?” he whispered against the shell of my ear.
“Tucker, if you keep it up, I’m never going to get everything done for tomorrow,” I protested.
We were spending Thanksgiving with Laura, and I’d offered to help her with the meal prep. Since school was out, Tucker let Shayne spend the night at her grammy’s, and instead of relishing the alone time, my mood was melancholic. Normally, I loved his touch. The man could probably achieve world peace by his mouth alone, but today, I was struggling, and my emotions were overriding my libido.
I gathered the veggies into the bowl I had at the ready and skirted around Tucker to get to the stove. After I turned the burner on under the skillet I already had waiting, I grabbed the sage sausage from the fridge, opened it, and then added it to the pan along with the onions and celery.
Heat bloomed at my back, and I didn’t have to turn around to know Tucker was watching me. I needed a minute to gather myself without the scrutiny of his gaze.
“Do you mind watching this for a minute? I need to go to the bathroom,” I asked without facing him.
“Sure,” he said.
When I went to walk past him, he reached out for me. He gently tugged me closer. Hooking his finger, he slid it under my chin and angled my face to meet his eyes.
“What’s wrong, baby? You seem a little off.”
“I just need a minute,” I said, not really looking at him.
He must have seen something in my eyes because he didn’t push. “Okay.”
He dropped his hand, and I made my exit.
Once in the bathroom, I closed the door behind me and sat down on the closed toilet lid. Tomorrow would be the first major holiday without my dad, and I missed him so much, there was a soul-deep ache in my chest. Sorrow gripped my heart as I thought of the man who’d been both mom and dad for me. I missed the earthy way he’d smelled. A mix of grease, dirt, sweat, and the lingering scent of Brut. I missed the way he’d argue with the television and how he’d make such a damn production of carving the turkey every single year.
Slow, fat tears started as a trickle but quickly became a torrent. A sob escaped my throat, and I scrambled to turn on the faucet to drown out the sounds of my sadness. Then, I slunk to the bathroom floor, pulled my knees into my chest, buried my face in the crook of my arms, and bawled.
After several long minutes, I got up and washed my face. Then, I patted it dry and shut off the water. I drew a few calming breaths and caught my reflection in the mirror. Through red-rimmed eyes, I took in my splotchy cheekbones and groaned. There was no way Tucker wouldn’t notice, but if I stayed in here much longer, I was certain he’d end up pounding on the door until I let him in.
When I was back in the kitchen, Tucker was bent over, loading dishes in the dishwasher. I headed to the stove and saw he had turned off the burner beneath the cooked sausage mix
ture, so I grabbed the pan and a trivet from the drawer and took them over to the island top.
“What’s up?” he asked, taking a seat on one of the barstools.
“Nothing.” The lie fell easily from my lips as I avoided his gaze, not wanting him to see how hard I’d been crying, and I got to work on finishing the dressing.
“You’ve been crying.”
That hadn’t taken long.
“Nothing really. Just a rough day.”
He stood up and went to the fridge for a beer. He twisted off the cap and took a drink. Arms crossed, he leaned back against the counter, eyeing me.
“What?”
“Obviously, something is wrong.”
“I told you … it’s been a rough day. Besides, it’s not like you talk to me about everything.”
When I’d brought up Holly weeks ago, he’d shut me down. The conversation I’d had with his mom in the hallway left me with so many questions. I’d drawn the conclusion that Dani might have been his wife, and her death had made him a widower, but Holly was the woman who had broken him. He didn’t talk about his dad or Griffin either.
“What do you want to know?” It might have been a question, but it was laced with a warning.
“How come you never told me you have a brother?” My tone wasn’t accusatory or full of judgment.
“Had,” he corrected, his pain nearly palpable. “I had a brother.”
“Your mom said you were best friends.”
“We were. There’s nothing I wouldn’t have done for him.”
“Does it ever get easier?” My voice trembled. “The whole grieving thing, I mean.” My watery gaze met his eyes.
“Shit,” he said quietly.
And I knew he understood. Instantly, he was at my side, removing the spoon covered in saturated breadcrumbs from my hand and setting it down. He hauled me against his body, one arm around my waist while the other stroked my hair. “It’s your first Thanksgiving without your dad.”
A fresh wave of anguish slammed into me as his words hit my ears, and my body shook with silent sobs.