How to Date a Witch

by Rose Pressey

  “I don’t see why not. I think Jack has to work late tonight.”

  Jennifer pushed her feet. “I’ll see you tonight.”

  I waved as she walked out the door. The phone rang again. It was Gracie. Again, I thought about not answering, but I figured if I just picked up and told her I had potentially found her a date she would leave me alone for a while.

  “Possible good news, Gracie.”

  I held the phone away from my ear as she squealed. Finally she stopped long enough for me to fill her in on the details. I hoped I was doing the right thing.

  ***

  Evening had arrived and Jennifer showed up at the office. Dark circles lined her eyes. She must not have slept last night. I didn’t blame her. I hadn’t slept much either. In spite of that, she still looked fabulous. She wore a short-sleeved black cotton dress that hit just above her knees and black sandals. I grabbed my bag and locked the door.

  “Any sign of the witch?” Jennifer peeked out the building’s main door before she stepped outside.

  “Things have been calm.” I scanned the area before stepping out too.

  Jennifer and I set off down the street toward the tour. Bourbon Street was crowded with tourists going in and out of the bars and shops. The hot, humid air held the heavy smell of liquor. The sun was setting in the western sky, but that did little to get rid of the heat. I was looking forward to meeting this guy and I hoped to get Gracie off my hands. I really felt guilty about putting him on the case, but it had to be done.

  We purchased our tickets and waited by the front gates to the old cemetery. I’d had my share of experiences in this place, being chased by werewolves and other paranormal creatures. That reminded me of the witch who had been following me. I looked around, but thank goodness didn’t see her anywhere. My anxiety had to be kept at bay or else I would be shifting soon.

  Other people started to gather at the front of the entrance for the tour as well. When I looked on the sidewalk and saw the guy walking toward us, I figured that was him.

  “There he is,” Jennifer whispered. “What do you think?”

  “You’re right, not bad, not bad, at all. He’s got a quirky cuteness about him. Actually, they would make a really cute couple. As far as looks are concerned. Personality? Well, that remains to be seen.”

  The dark-haired guy walked up. I had expected him to be dressed as a vampire. He wore a white shirt and black pants. The heat was too much for a costume tonight anyway, so I didn’t blame him for skipping it. Tim looked directly at Jennifer. Jennifer probably didn’t know it, but the guy totally had the hots for her. It was obvious.

  “Hi, Tim, do you remember me?” Jennifer asked.

  “Jennifer, how are you are you? Are you taking the tour tonight?” He clapped his hands and grinned from ear to ear.

  Jennifer looked at me. She wanted me to tell him now? Weren’t we staying for the tour?

  She didn’t answer his question, instead she waved toward me. “This is my friend Rylie Cruz. Rylie, this is Tim.”

  “Nice to meet you,” he said with a big smile.

  He seemed like a really nice guy. That might be bad for Gracie.

  I cleared my throat. “Actually, I came here to talk to you for a minute, if that’s all right?”

  “I really need to go ahead and start the tour since I’m running a little bit behind, but you all should stay for the tour, and then we can talk afterwards.” He smiled.

  He made it sound like such a great idea that I went along with it by nodding. Though I knew going to the cemetery would only bring back bad memories. That was why Jennifer hadn’t wanted to stay. Sometimes she knew me better than I knew myself. I supposed I should just have to let the memories go. After all, it was all in the past now.

  Tim started the tour by leading us through the cemetery and showing us some of the more prominent gravestones. He recounted the stories of hauntings that had taken place there. Above-ground tombs lined the pathways like stone filing cabinets. Iron fences surrounded some of them. Others had started to crumble, exposing the old bricks underneath.

  “I guess this isn’t so bad after all,” Jennifer said.

  “Yes, as long as werewolves aren’t chasing us then we should be fine.”

  Her eyes flashed fear. “Do you really think that can happen?”

  “Well, it happened to me before, so I suppose it’s possible.” I knew it was possible.

  “I hope the witch doesn’t show up,” Jennifer said, almost under her breath.

  If anyone was going to chase me now, it would be the mysterious witch.

  It was almost as if Jennifer had spoken the magic words to make the witch appear. When I looked across the way toward the graveyard’s front entrance she was standing there staring at me. She glared with her glowing eyes. This time she wasn’t alone. A younger woman was with her. She was probably around thirty years old with dark hair and wearing a long black dress. The women stared at us, sending a shiver down my spine and along my arms.

  “There she is,” I said.

  Jennifer followed my stare. “That’s the bitch, er, witch?”

  “That’s her.”

  “Oh, my goodness. I never thought she’d be that scary-looking.”

  “I’m so terrified we have to get out of here.” I grabbed Jennifer’s hand and pulled on her so that we could hurry to the entrance, but then we’d have to walk past the witch. It seemed like I was destined to have a confrontation right now.

  Maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing. I could ask her what she wanted and why she was following me. As I took a couple more steps though, I tumbled to the pavement. Next thing I knew, Jennifer was standing over me, asking me if I was all right. It was just like in the restaurant. I knew that there was a connection between the witch and my new fainting spells. It wasn’t a coincidence. She was doing something to make me faint.

  “Don’t worry. This sometimes happens on the tours,” Tim said. “I’ve called an ambulance.”

  “Not another ambulance,” I said as I tried to get to my feet.

  “It’s best if they check you out,” Jennifer said.

  I looked over to the entrance, but the witch and the other woman were gone. “You know why this is happening. It’s the witch.”

  Jennifer looked over too. “She’s gone now.”

  “Yes, but she did something to me before she left.”

  “Maybe you’re right,” Jennifer said.

  “I know I’m right.”

  The rest of the tour-goers stared at me like the people in the restaurant. I peered up at the vast canopy of stars in the black sky. Just then the EMTs arrived and rushed over to me.

  I knew I’d be just fine.

  “No, the ambulance won’t be necessary,” I said.

  “I know you’re probably right about the witch, but this really makes me nervous. Maybe you should go to the hospital,” Jennifer said.

  “No, trust me, I know when she’s doing something. This is not me. It’s her, and I’m not going to let her have the satisfaction of me actually going to the hospital.”

  “She could do this again. Next time it might be much worse,” Jennifer said.

  I couldn’t argue with her about that. It definitely could be worse, but hopefully that wouldn’t be the case next time.

  “So… Tim, the thing I wanted to talk to you about,” I said as the EMT was checking my vitals.

  Tim looked at me strangely. So what if I was having my heartbeat listened to with a stethoscope?

  “What’s that?” he asked.

  “I have a dating service and have a perfect woman for you. I was thinking, since you’re single…”

  He probably thought I’d lost it when I hit my head on the pavement.

  “Yeah, I suppose I could do that,” he said.

  He didn’t sound all that sure of his answer. Jennifer and I hurried toward our apartment. We made it a few blocks when that strange sensation overcame me again.

  “The witch might be around,” I said,
glancing over my shoulder.

  “I’m getting really tired of messing with her,” Jennifer said. “I’m going to act like Lily and go after the witch. She’ll be sorry she messed with you.”

  “I wouldn’t advise that,” I said. “We don’t know what this woman is capable of, so maybe we should wait before we go on the attack.” I’d barely finished the sentence when I looked across the street and saw the witches—the glowing-eyed witch and her friend who had been with her at the cemetery entrance.

  “There they are,” I said.

  “What do we do now?”

  I didn’t know how to answer. Did we stop, run, or hide? I was beginning to panic. We’d stopped right there on the sidewalk, staring at the witches as they were on the other side staring at us. Now who would make the first move? I felt the strong energy flow across the street and I knew the witches were making the first move again. Before long, I would probably be flat out on the sidewalk passed out again.

  “Jennifer, you should run,” I said as my legs started to grow weak.

  Thunder rumbled through the air and lightning bolts zapped around us. Rain started pouring down. As I watched the witches my legs started to shake and my head spun. I started to fall to the ground and Jennifer screamed out. She managed to help me up before I completely passed out.

  “Rylie, we should get out of here before they do something more serious. Can you walk?” Jennifer asked.

  She had her arm under my arm, holding me up. I tried to shake off the spell that surrounded me. Thanks to Jennifer for helping me remain upright, I darted to the right and we managed to break free from the heaviness of the magic.

  “Where do we go now?” Jennifer asked.

  I wanted to pretend as if I was calm and had all the answers so that she wouldn’t be scared.

  I really didn’t think it would do us any good to run, because this witch would obviously just find us. Maybe I needed to confront her right now. Jennifer was with me though, and I had to worry about putting her in dangerous situations. That wasn’t something I ever wanted to do, although it seemed as if that was all I ever did. Right now I just had to find a way to get us out of this situation and safely away from the witch. I should tell Jennifer to keep running and then I would stop and confront the witch. It wouldn’t work though because Jennifer wouldn’t do that.

  “Are they following us?” Jennifer asked as we ran along the sidewalk.

  I glanced back. “Oh, yeah, she’s still there. Listen, you keep running and I’m going to stop and confront her.” I rushed my words so that maybe Jennifer wouldn’t catch on quickly to what I was doing.

  Fat chance of that.

  “No way am I leaving you here to deal with her,” Jennifer said.

  Exactly as I had expected her to react. Luckily I had another idea when I saw the taxi up ahead.

  “We’ll get in the car and have him drive us away,” I said.

  As soon as we neared the car I yanked the door open and practically jumped into the backseat. My face smashed into the other side of the door as I slid across. It smelled like sweat back there too, which didn’t help my nervous stomach.

  Jennifer followed behind me and slammed the door shut. The driver screamed at us. He hadn’t been expecting anyone to get in, since he had been looking down reading the paper.

  “What do you think you’re doing?” he asked.

  “This is a cab, right? We need to go somewhere. Now punch the gas,” I yelled.

  “Are you into anything illegal? Did you rob a bank? I don’t want any part of it, so get out.”

  “Of course we didn’t rob a bank, but we have a crazy woman chasing us.”

  “She wants to harvest our organs,” Jennifer blurted out.

  The driver’s eyes widened.

  “What are you doing?” I mouthed.

  “I don’t know what kind of weird stuff you all are into,” the driver said.

  “Can you drive quickly?” Jennifer asked.

  He looked in the rear-view mirror at her and she smiled.

  “Well, if someone’s trying to hurt you then I need to get you out of here.” He pressed the gas and pulled away from the curb in a hurry.

  I looked out the rear window and saw the witches stop progressing toward us when they realized that we were out of their range.

  “Where do you want me to take you?” the driver asked.

  That was a good question. We had to go back to the apartment sooner or later. Maybe we could do something there that would protect us. I didn’t want her to come there after us.

  “You know, we would just turn around and circle back to the apartment. She probably isn’t even smart enough to think that we’d immediately go back there.”

  “She doesn’t look like the brightest bulb in the chandelier,” Jennifer said.

  “Can you just go around the block and take us back to that street? I think she’ll be gone by the time we get back.”

  He shrugged. “They’re your organs.”

  Once home, we checked every space, making sure the witch hadn’t returned.

  “Okay, we need to look for some kind of protection spell that might be listed in the spell book so that we can keep the witch from coming here and hurting us.”

  “I wish I knew how she got in. What kind of magic did she use or which entry point did she come in through? Did she knock the door down or did she open the window with her magic?”

  “Maybe she has some sort of teleportation skills,” Jennifer said.

  “If that’s the case, I’d love to see that,” I said.

  I retrieved the books from my bedroom and then sat down next to Jennifer on the sofa.

  We quickly flipped through the pages, looking for anything that would protect property, or protect our bodies. Whatever we could find.

  “Here’s one.” Jennifer tapped the page

  “Protecting our domain. That looks good,” I said.

  “So what do we have to do?” Jennifer asked, leaning closer and examining the page.

  “I will find the stuff from the kitchen. It looks like we have everything that’s on the spices and herb list.”

  We quickly rushed around and gathered the ingredients. Then I placed a small pot from the kitchen as our makeshift cauldron on the living room coffee table. I was sure that a professional witch would get a good laugh out of watching our pathetic attempts at witchcraft. But I had to at least try, so no one could fault me for trying.

  We started chanting the words as we added the ingredients into the black pot. Everything seemed to be going surprisingly well. I just hoped that we got results once we were finished. Jennifer flipped the page and we continued with the words.

  It seemed like an awfully long spell, but I continued anyway. Until we reached a really awkward part with the words. I looked closer at the page.

  “Oh, my gosh. Stop, stop,” I said.

  “What is it?” Jennifer asked. She had been completely transfixed and totally into casting the spell and chanting the words.

  “The pages are stuck together. We are doing the wrong spell.”

  “What do you mean that we’re doing the wrong spell? What’s the spell?” she asked.

  “It’s for conjuring a demon,” I said.

  “What?” she yelled. “Conjuring a demon?”

  “Calm down. We don’t know for sure that this spell would even work. Besides, we only did half of the spell. So that means it probably wouldn’t work anyway.”

  “What does that mean? We get half a demon? Half a demon is still bad news,” Jennifer said. “Reverse the spell, reverse the spell.” Jennifer waved her hands over the top of the pot.

  “What are you doing?” I asked.

  “I’m reversing the spell.”

  “I don’t think saying ‘reverse the spell’ will make it actually happen.”

  “But I don’t have any other ideas,” she said in a panic.

  Just then the door opened. Jennifer screamed. Lily started to step through. Only problem was she fell
backwards, as if something had knocked her down. When I ran over and peered down at her, the look of fury in her eyes almost sent a shiver down my spine. Almost. No matter what she thought, I was never scared of Lily. Well, other than the times when she wore too much makeup.

  I reached down to help her up.

  “Don’t touch me,” she said.

  I held my hands up. “Okay, if you don’t want me to help and you want to lie there on the floor, go right ahead.”

  “Why did you knock me down?” she asked as she finally managed to get up from the floor. “Why did she scream?”

  “Jennifer thought you were a demon,” I said.

  Lily glared at Jennifer. “Funny, very funny.”

  I waved my hand. “Anyway, I didn’t knock you down. What are you talking about? I was clear away across the room.”

  “Well, how else do you explain that you knocked me down?” she asked.

  “I suppose it was the spell that we just did,” Jennifer said.

  “So it somewhat worked. It knocked down trouble when she came to the door,” I said.

  Lily lunged for me, as if she was going to strangle me with her hands stretched forward. I jumped backwards and then started giggling. Lily came at me again and I managed to knock her down again.

  “Lily, stop fighting,” I yelled.

  Somehow Jennifer managed to pull us off each other. I straightened my clothes and Lily pushed the hair out of her eyes.

  “I was winning that fight, you know,” Lily said.

  “No more fighting,” Jennifer said. “We have to finish the spell that will keep the witch from coming here before it’s too late.”

  A growling sound echoed around the room. We froze.

  “What was that?” Jennifer’s voice wavered.

  “I don’t know,” I whispered.

  The low growl reverberated again.

  “It sounds like it’s coming from down the hall. Lily, go see what it is.” I waved my hand.

  Lily glared. “I’m not going down there.”

  We stared at the hallway. I supposed we were all hoping the sound would just stop without anyone having to check it out. I needed to be brave and take a look.

  “Maybe it was a cat outside the window,” I said.

  “What? Like a tiger?” Lily asked.