“It wasn’t.” Her voice turns impish. “It was Julian. Take care, Trina. I hope the…stroller works out.”
“Me too. Thank you for everything.”
“My pleasure.” We both disconnect.
Elle starts to ask a question, but before she can make a sound, I press my finger against her mouth. “Let me text Jonas first, okay? Then I’ll answer anything you want.”
Pushing my hand aside, she demands, “Including about the sex?”
My face heats before I give in. “Including about the ridiculous sex.”
“Ridiculous how?” She yanks my phone from my hand. “Ridiculous like you’re destined to remain good friends, or so damn good, you’re going to lie here on your bed touching yourself over it later.”
If she weren’t recovering from a peach allergy, I’d nail her in the stomach to get my phone back. “The second.”
With a whoop that might wake Mrs. McPhearson next door, Elle pitches my phone at me, declaring, “We need to get you a silent vibrator so the twins don’t hear.”
Even as my fingers are flying, I smirk, “If their mother can’t keep silent, what good will it do?”
Elle hoots as I press Send. How do I thank you? Chelsea is lovely.
His answer is immediate. Next Wednesday. You, the kids, and me. I’ll bring the stroller.
Will I see you before then? My fingers are tapping on the side of the phone while I wait for his answer.
Absolutely. How about I drop by tomorrow after you’ve spent the day with Mrs. McPhearson?
That sounds perfect. I’ll make dinner.
I’ll bring the antacids.
I send him an emoji where the tongue is sticking out before telling him good night.
Elle’s been quiet during this exchange. Finally, she declares, “I like him for both you and the kids.”
“Why do I sense a ‘but’ in there?” I exchange my phone for my mug of tepid tea and take a sip.
“The ‘but’ has to do with the fact I knew you before, during, and since the hurt caused by men. I’m always going to worry because I love you.”
A warmth steals through me. “The same goes both ways. You know that, don’t you, Elle?”
A flash of insecurity appears on her face that I’m uncertain was even there as she leans forward and presses a smacking kiss on my forehead. “I know. Now, you promised. Spill the beans.”
Thinking of the lingering ache between my thighs, I acknowledge, “Well, I’ll say one thing that’s consistent about him.”
“What’s that?”
“Jonas Rice likes to eat.” As Elle spills her drink all over her shirt while she’s laughing, I do my best-friend duty and get out of bed to get her a towel. And while I do, I wonder in amazement at how life has changed in just a few short weeks.
Chapter 22
Trina
“I never knew they did this.” I’m bouncing next to Jonas as I push my new stroller through the entrance to the Bronx Zoo early the next week. “I can’t believe it’s free!” I exclaim.
“Every Wednesday for general admission,” he confirms. “I thought it might be something Annie and Chris would appreciate for a few hours before they got bored.”
“I want to keep it cool, but I can’t. I’ve always wanted to come here. I want to see the elephants!”
Annie squeals from the stroller below us. “Wellefants!” Chris just shifts, causing me to adjust my grip on the single push handle. I hum in satisfaction over the ease I can manipulate the double stroller. “Thank you again for convincing me to talk with your cousin. Are you sure I paid her enough? This stroller is a dream.” To prove my point, I swing the kids left and right, making them squeal in delight.
But Jonas has stopped dead in his tracks. “You’ve never been here?” he asks incredulously.
“Nope. Add it to the list of things you want to ask me about later,” I tell him breezily. “I refuse to let anything intrude on how excited I am.” I push the stroller straight ahead. “Though I will say I’m seriously debating whether or not to kiss you in public. I know your cousin said it had some wear and tear, but this stroller is still so much better than the one I was still fighting to have delivered. And just think, no assembly required.”
Jonas slings a friendly arm around my shoulders and barks out a laugh. “Every parent’s dream phrase, I imagine.”
“You have no idea,” I turn my head in for a quick hit of Jonas’s clean scent with hints of lime and cedar mixed in. I smile when I remember cleaning up in his bathroom and picking up the bottle of his cologne and indulging myself with the scent before I left the morning after we made love.
God, it seems so long ago, I ache for it now so much so that the public displays of affection I’d normally be more cautious about are becoming necessary.
We pass a family weighed down with a cooler and kids. I flick them a quick smile, easily returned. Then Jonas whispers in my ear, “I imagine we look the same way because you insisted on packing lunch.” He shifts the cooler on his shoulder carrying an assortment of drinks.
Primly, I remind him, “Your food budget for the month is getting close to the limit with the dinner you sprung for the other night, pal. Be glad I’m willing to share my PB&J.”
Laughing, Jonas tugs me close. “I stand corrected. Let’s find you some elephants, babe.”
A wave of melancholy washes over me as one of a million lectures from my mother rattles through my brain. Maybe I would have met Jonas at a different point in my life if I had made different choices, had done something different with my life. If…if…if…so many things come down to ifs. Shaking off the mood, I firmly put one foot in front of the other when the realization strikes me in the heart.
If life hadn’t forced me on this path, I wouldn’t be right where I’m supposed to be at this very moment.
With my children.
Working at Seduction.
And I never would have met Jonas, who’s showing me a little at a time it’s not only possible for me to succeed, there are people willing to help me along the way who don’t hold my circumstances against me, but are willing to support me.
Just because I can, I swirl the stroller in crazy directions. Annie and Chris cry out in glee. “Who wants to see some elephants?” I shout because the day calls for it.
Varying “Me!” and raised hands pop up from around the stroller.
Turning, I forget all my good intentions. Startling him, I grab Jonas’s shoulder and yank him toward me for a hard kiss.
Delight, and something else I can’t name, settle on his face. “Let’s do the zoo every week,” he murmurs before pulling me in front of him.
“Let’s get through today first.” I wiggle my hips at him, causing him to let out a low groan.
“I’ll never make it until the next time.” Leaning forward, he places a kiss on the spot between my shoulder and my neck that makes me go a bit cross-eyed.
Bumping my hips back, I send him a smoldering look over my shoulder. “Elephants first. Play time later.”
With a laugh, Jonas pulls out the map. “This way.” He points to the well-marked sign.
And we set off to find elephants and so much more before the kids decide they’ve had it.
I’m glaring at Jonas as the elevator climbs to the sixth floor. “This is not sticking to a budget.” But it’s halfhearted at best. Despite my letting him off the hook at the zoo to spoil us with ice cream, Jonas needs to remember we’re with him because he’s him, not because of a difference to our lifestyle.
“T, it was their first trip to the zoo,” he counters softly.
We’re having a spat over the fact both of my kids are asleep each holding a new stuffed animal clutched to their chest. Chris picked a tiger, Annie a goat, though for the life of me, I still can’t figure that one out. “I know, but the smaller ones would have been just fine, Jo—” He stops my words with a kiss.
It’s short and sweet, and it makes my heart stop and listen to him when he says, “I want
to spoil them a little. I like them as much as I like their mother.”
Shaken down to my very core, I place my hand on his chest and ask, “Enough to eat mac’n’cheese for dinner?”
“Even enough for that.” He cups the back of my neck and is about to lean down for another kiss when the elevator door opens. I turn to push the stroller out only to find my way blocked.
By my mother.
“Excuse me,” I say coolly. Jonas tenses behind me, blocking the door from closing on us, but prepared for anything.
My mother doesn’t move, but her face twists with pain as she looks down at Annie and Chris. “You haven’t called. What are you doing for work?” Her voice comes out accusatory as if I’d leave my children to harm.
“No. I found other accommodations, since your services were no longer made available. If you’ll excuse me, I need to get the kids inside. They’ve had a long day.”
Mom steps aside enough for me to push the stroller out but doesn’t move far. “How…” She clears her throat. “How have Chris and Annie been?”
I whirl around, incredulous. “Are you kidding me?”
“Trina, take a deep breath.” Jonas places his arm around my waist. “It was a good day,” he reminds me.
Trying to keep it cool, I inhale and exhale several times. “It was,” I remind both of us before addressing my mother like a stranger. “My children are fine. We’ve been out exploring the city.”
“With your new…friend.” My mother can’t help the dig.
“No, with the governor. What does it matter, Mom? I’m doing my best to give a healthy, balanced life to the lives I created.”
“And you think this is helping them? Getting involved with a man you don’t know? Letting them get attached when…he… could be gone tomorrow?” she rasps.
A heavy silence descends in the hallway. “Jonas, will you please take my children inside?”
“Not a chance.” His voice is as razor sharp as one of my knives. He doesn’t approach my mother, but his words shock her. “Despite everything, somehow your daughter grew up caring about people—not just herself. You have no idea of the hell she’s been living through recently, do you?”
“What do you mean?” My mother stammers. Her eyes dart to me accusingly.
But Jonas plows over her unasked questions. “Trina’s someone who took her past and genuinely wants to make things better for the future. And if you can’t see her for the warm, lovely woman she raised herself to be because of whatever issues you have with your own past, then perhaps it’s better for both of you to be polite neighbors.” Tugging on my arm, because I’m stuck in place, he growls, “Come on, T. Let’s get the kids inside. It was a big day.”
Unfrozen, I agree, “It was. It’s not every day someone gets to see their first tiger.”
“Or their first goat,” he counters.
“I still can’t get over why she loved them so much,” I muse as I pull my keys out when I hear my name crack out in the air.
I turn to find a different woman staring at me than the woman I’ve met at the door for the last seven months since I moved home. “Yes?”
“Maybe I’ve made this hard on you,” she begins.
I don’t say anything. I let my silence speak for me. Then again, I said everything I needed to the other morning in the hallway. I just regulate my breathing and wait for her to continue.
“It’s a tough road you chose, Trina. I lived it. I regretted it…”
Now, I do interrupt. “Regretted me. I know.” I turn and my shoulder brushes against Jonas’s as his arm goes from being around my back to keeping me tucked at his side.
“No! Never that. I didn’t have the skills to be something more like you did, to be the mother you are. I see what you give to those babies, and it makes me regret. And…it makes me mean.”
Tears I refuse to let her see prick my eyes. “I’m well aware of that.” I insert my key in the first lock by leaning over the top of the stroller.
“I was jealous how you had it all together, and even now, you barely needed me.”
“Between Elle and Jonas, they’ve helped me realize that. It was hard to accept that’s where your behavior stemmed from. I thought it was just the fact you hated me.” My next key goes into the next lock.
“I haven’t spent a dime of any of the money you’ve given to me,” she blurts out. I freeze in the act of sliding my key into the third tumbler. “How could I? What if Annie or Chris needed something? What if you did? Trina, I may not have agreed with your decisions, but I believed in your goals to provide your children with a better future. I figured I’d give you the money back when it was time…when it was time for you to go away again.” Her voice breaks at the end.
I spin around, mouth agape. My knees tremble. “What?” I can’t seem to get more than that out.
Mom steps forward and, bravely in my estimation, touches my hair. “You look so much like him. I never told you that, did I? Your hair, your eyes, it’s like falling in love all over again every time you walked in the door and my soul breaking every time you leave. And when you stood there and argued with me, all I could do was question whether he would have done the same.”
“Mom.” I can’t prevent the tears from spilling over. Pulling away from Jonas’s embrace, I reach out a hand for hers.
She grasps it with both of hers. “I just want you to find happiness, Trina. I want you to find someone who cares about you now, but also your future. And I hate the fact I’m a bitter old woman who doesn’t have that chance.”
Pursing my lips, I take in my mother’s youthful figure. “I wouldn’t say old. I’ve seen the way some of the men check you out when you’re walking to the senior center.” Much to my delight, my mother blushes. Squeezing her hand, I tell her truthfully, “Mom, there’s a lot for us to work through. Not all of it’s going to be easy. I can’t say I don’t have resentment built up.”
Nodding, she acquiesces. “I understand.”
“But why don’t you come inside and have dinner with us. Spend a little time with us. I’m making your favorite.” A quick glance over my shoulder at Jonas finds his eyes crinkled at the corners. My heart quakes at the way he’s stood at my back—the way no man ever has.
“Oh, God. Not mac’n’cheese. Let me run down at get some fish to go with it, at least. Then we don’t have to feel like we’re in eating in a preschool class,” she pleads.
“I could be persuaded to cook up fish,” I agree.
“Maybe, I’ll just bring a few other things down,” she mutters. Taking in Jonas, still strong and silent, supporting me, she holds out her hand. “Marla Paxton.”
“Jonas Rice.” He shakes her hand firmly before letting it go.
I hear stirring in the stroller. “Mom, let me get the kids inside. Just knock whenever you want to come in.” Tipping my head back, I ask Jonas, “Do you mind getting the last lock?”
I could get lost in the look in his eyes. “No problem.”
Then I hear, “Mama, Nono. Home?” Chris is awake.
“And there’s my cue to get someone onto the toilet. Hey, buddy. We just got here,” I lie.
“Okay. Inside?”
“Yep. It’s almost time for dinner.”
“Let me go get the stuff and I’ll be back.” Mom scurries away.
“Grandma?” Chris asks, confused.
Jonas pushes open the door while Annie sleeps on. “Yes, sweetheart. Grandma is going to come over for dinner.” For the first time ever, I think dazedly.
“Mac’n’cheese?” Next to Chris, Annie stirs, hearing her favorite words.
“As soon as you and your sister do your jobs. Then Mama can get started,” I inform him.
“Okay.” I unbuckle him. Then my heart soars when he crawls out of the stroller and hands Jonas his tiger. “You watch Tiger?”
“I promise, buddy.” He ruffles Chris’s hair before saying, “I won’t let you down no matter what’s thrown at me.”
As I escort my son insi
de, I realize this might be new, but Jonas Rice is the kind of man who is proving he does exactly what he says.
No matter what obstacles are thrown in his path, he keeps his word. Whether it’s about holding to a thirty-day food challenge or supporting my need to be independent, he’s stayed true to his word. With a small smile, I can admit I would have bought my children the larger stuffed animals too.
After guiding my son into the small bathroom and closing the door, I do a pirouette over how special today was. And if the night continues on the same way, it may be the start of unforeseen new beginnings within my family as well.
Chapter 23
Trina
“Whatever is inspiring you lately, Paxton, keep up the good work.” Chef Sterling saunters by. “We’ve seen an increase of dessert orders by over twenty percent. And I expect that number to go even higher once City Lights publishes their feature on you. That’s going to make Portland very happy.”
I snarl at the reminder of my interview with Jonas. “If we’re seeing such a great spike in sales, why can’t we just leave that part out?”
Snagging a tasting spoon, Sterling dips the tip into the passion fruit sorbet I’ve just pulled out from the ice cream churner. A soft sound of pleasure escapes. “Get that away from me before I eat it all,” she orders on a laugh.
“Yes, Chef Sterling.” I grin. Quickly packing down the still-soft mass in the bread pan and laying plastic wrap over it, I place it into the blast chiller before I begin whipping up the ingredients for the next batch. Despite the fact it’s only supposed to be a palate cleanser, I’ve learned in recent weeks to make an additional 30 percent for those who are looking for a lighter dessert fare.
“Take a quick break, Trina. Jean can take over for a moment, can’t she?”
Evaluating my young apprentice for just a moment, I agree. The task is something she can handle. Dispatching the instructions with precision, I untie my apron and follow Sterling to her office. Once we’re behind closed doors, I can’t resist poking a bit of fun. “Certainly a lot different than the last time I was called in here.”
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