by Rye Hart
And I needed to be alone.
When he got dressed, I shoved him out the door before I locked it behind him. I watched his shadow underneath the door before I heard a thunderous crash on the other side of the wall. I pressed my forehead against the wall and listened as Luke cussed to himself all the way down the hallway.
I forced my tears back.
I was done crying over all this.
I ran around the hotel room and packed everything up as quickly as I could. I knew Luke would tell his brothers what had happened. They all talked when it came to me. That much I was beginning to realize. And I needed to check out of my hotel room if I had any shot at some time to myself. I stuffed things into my bag and slipped on my sandals, then grabbed my chargers and held them in my hands. I called a cab and ran down to the front desk to check out.
I needed to get back home and think.
The cab pulled up just as I was walking out, and I slipped into the back seat, leaving everyone and everything in my rearview mirror. I rested my head against the seat and closed my eyes.
I placed my hand over my stomach and gently caressed it. I had never really had a definite plan for having children, but now that I was, I couldn’t help but feel protective. I wanted my child to have the best of everything I could give him or her. But lately, all I seemed to find was misery and conflict. I couldn’t seem to do anything right.
Sure, I still had the guys willing to help me out, but I needed more than just them. I needed my family. I needed my best friend. I needed my damn job because I wouldn’t rely on the Anderson boys for my survival or the survival of my child.
I wanted my child to be loved and cherished. Not just by the guys, but by everyone. However, each day brought something new and terrible. Something that reinforced the idea that I wouldn't be accepted. That my child wouldn’t be accepted. That the guys and I wouldn’t be accepted. I loved them. All of them. All for different, yet equal, reasons. I couldn’t imagine having one of them in my life without the other three, but every time I turned around someone was angry.
Angry at me.
Angry at all of us.
If things were supposed to settle into place, then what did that mean for the choice I’d made?
Was my life going to somehow end up in a blatant series of catastrophic events because of one decision I made while drunk?
The cab pulled up in front of my townhome and I didn’t even remember the drive. I paid the driver and walked into my house. I rummaged around in the fridge, realizing in my haste to get out of the hotel, I hadn’t eaten. I settled on a few pieces of toast and a banana and was happy when I kept it down.
I knew that I needed to focus on my health, for my sake as well as the baby’s. I needed to be taking better care of me, and not worrying so much about everyone else. And the first thing I needed was a week’s worth of sleep.
CHAPTER 24
LIAM
I’d tried calling Samantha for the past few days. Luke told us that Lauren had found out that we’d all slept together in Vegas, and she was pissed off at all of us, but especially at Samantha. I was worried for Samantha’s well-being. I knew my other brothers were trying to call her as well, but this time I wasn’t letting up. Too much was happening in Samantha’s life for her to close us out and not talk about this. That was fine if she wanted to digest everything and pick it apart or whatever the fuck Levi said she needed. But this was Lauren who was upset with her. Her best friend since elementary school. The girl she grew up beside and had all her teenage adventures with. The closest thing to a sister she would ever have.
After three days of Samantha not picking up the phone, I took an early day off work. I drove over to her place and knocked on her door, not letting up until I heard her walking around behind it. I continued to knock, even though I heard her approaching the door. I continued to knock even though I saw her shadow underneath the doorway. I continued to knock despite watching the doorknob turn, and my wrist continued to move even after the door pulled away from my hand.
“What?” Samantha asked.
“This is getting ridiculous,” I said. “Why aren’t you answering your phone?”
“Because I don’t feel like talking, Liam.”
“Luke told us Lauren knows. You need to talk, Samantha. To someone.”
“And you need to understand right now that you might control your brothers, but you don’t control me.”
“I’m not trying to control you, but you’re dealing with a lot. You need to lean on us, Samantha. On me,” I said.
“What is there to lean on about? I’m happy to talk with you,” she said.
“You say you’re happy, but I know you’re not. The scowl on your face. The way your fist is bunched up.”
“It’s a figure of speech, Liam. The point is, everything’s happening, and there’s nothing I can do about it. Lauren wants nothing to do with me. My parents will never be the parents I want them to be. I’m stuck between pulling away from you guys to salvage things with my best friend and leaving her in the dust so I can lean on you guys. It’s as simple as that and nothing else.”
“Let me in,” I said.
To my surprise, that worked. She stepped off to the side and let me into her home. I turned around and grasped her arms within my palms. I felt the tension that filled her body. I saw the sea of uncertainty ebbing and flowing in her eyes. This wasn’t about not leaning on us. This wasn’t about not wanting to open up.
“Your life doesn’t have to change,” I said. “Being pregnant doesn’t have to derail your plans.”
“How can it not?” she asked as tears welled in her eyes. “A child changes everything.”
“But it doesn’t have to change you, Sam. It doesn’t have to change where you take your life. Yes, things are rough right now. Yes, Lauren’s a little miffed at the moment.”
“She’s more than miffed.”
“Right now, you have to prioritize. What’s the most important thing to you right now?”
She looked into my eyes as a tear slid down her cheek. I reached out with my thumb and smoothed it away, watching as she nuzzled into my touch. I’d never seen Sam like this before. So afraid of the world around her that she would’ve rather closed herself off from it all than stand up against it like she always had.
“What’s really going through that head of yours?” I asked.
I watched her sigh before she leaned into my body, giving into the comfort I was more than prepared to give her. I held her close as I rocked her side to side, slowly turning us in the small hallway of her foyer. She was carrying a child fathered by one of us. She was dealing with an angry best friend and a couple of parents who had always been a pile of shit. She released all of it into me as tears soaked my shirt, and soon her arms wrapped tightly around my body.
“It’s okay,” I said. “I’ve got you.”
I dipped my lips to her head and pressed kiss after kiss against her skull.
“My entire world is crashing down, Liam,” she said through her tears.
“I know it feels that way,” I said. “But there are upsides to what’s happening. Like the fact that you’re going to bring a beautiful child into this world. Or the fact that you’ve got four men who care for you greatly surrounding you and defending you at every turn.”
She lifted her head at my statement and gazed into my eyes.
“Do you question that?” I asked. “Do you question the fact that my brothers and I are here for you? That we care for you?”
“No,” she said, whispering.
“Then tell me what you’re really afraid of. Take a chance and spit it out.”
I stood there in the foyer of her townhome, cradling her in my embrace. The storm raging behind her eyes let me know I’d touched a nerve. She was opening up. Unfurling those layers for us she’d tried to hide behind throughout all of this. But maybe I needed a different tactic. Maybe all she needed was a little bit of reassurance that the outcome would turn in her favor.
&nbs
p; “I love you, Samantha.”
Her eyes widened, and I dipped my lips to hers. I captured them, tasting the shock of her body and the saltiness of her tears against them. I stilled my movements, waiting for her to respond. Waiting for her to come to me. And the second she fisted my shirt, I breathed in her scent. Pressed my tongue against her lips until she allowed me entrance.
I backed her up against her couch and settled between her legs. I gripped her hips, pulling her closer to me as she supported herself against the edge. She cupped my cheeks. Slid her fingers into my hair. Battled my tongue for dominance as a moan slipped from her throat and down mine.
My forehead fell against hers and I broke our connection, breathing in her air as her chest panted for more.
“I love you,” I said.
“Oh Liam,” she said, whispering.
I gazed into her eyes as her fingertips danced along my lips. Her eyes took me in, studying my reactions as I puckered my lips against her skin. She smiled, allowing a soft giggle to fall from her lips.
I grabbed her wrist and brought her hand to my mouth, peppering her palm with kisses.
“I’m scared that I’ll be left alone,” she said.
My eyes locked with hers as shame filled her face.
“I’m scared that something’s going to happen during this pregnancy and I’ll lose all of you, too. My parents will never be the parents I want them to be. They’ll never accept my life. And if I can’t fix things with Lauren, I’ll have lost the only person in my life I truly considered a friend. I’m so scared that if I misstep, I’ll mess things up with you guys and I’ll be alone. Just me and a child with no father.”
“Sam, look at me.”
“I’m sorry, Liam.”
“I need you to look at me.”
I crooked my finger underneath her gaze and rose her eyes back to mine.
“That is never going to happen. Not with any of us. Not on my watch. We’re here forever. Until the end. No matter what happens between us. We aren’t yours to lose. Only yours to keep. Do you understand me?”
Another tear slipped from her eye. I slid my thumb across her skin and caught it before it could taint anymore of her beautiful features. I bent down and kissed her lips once more. A small peck that left nothing but a beautiful grin behind on her face. I ran my fingers through her hair before I slid my arms around her, wrapping her up and pulling her back into my body.
“You’re never going to lose us,” I said. “I promise.”
After getting her settled into bed and laying with her until she fell asleep, I slipped out the door. I headed for my car and cranked it up, then made my way back to the office. There it was. The root of Sam’s fear regarding all of us. And it made sense. Her parents kicked her back out. Lauren had dropped off the radar to go on her honeymoon. With everything happening around her and everyone stepping back from her, she felt it was only a matter of time before we all did the same.
“Did you talk to her?” Logan asked as I rounded the corner.
“She’s not answering my fucking calls again,” Levi said.
“Mine either,” Luke said. “Though that’s not shocking given what I witnessed.”
“She’s sleeping right now,” I said, “but I have a feeling she’ll be answering calls from now on.”
“What happened?” Levi asked. “Did you talk with her?”
“I did. And it’s as simple as the smile on her face,” I said. “Sam’s scared that we’ll eventually get angry with her choices as well as leave.”
“What?” Luke asked. “That doesn’t make any sense.”
“Yes, it does. Think about it. Her parents just kicked her out for the second time in her life because she’s pregnant. Lauren’s upset with her for a decision we all made together in Vegas. But in Sam’s mind, that’s everyone backing away. So, she figured we would eventually do the same.”
“Which would’ve left her alone with a baby,” Logan said.
“Is she okay? I mean, when you left. Was she all right?” Levi asked.
“After looking in her eyes and telling her we weren’t going anywhere, yes. I laid down with her until she fell asleep, then I left,” I said.
“Can I just say, ‘fuck her bullshit parents’ really quickly?” Logan asked.
“Yes. Since I’m tired of those assholes anyway, you can,” Levi said.
“Was there anything else she said?” Luke asked.
“No,” I said. “Nothing after I reassured her. She’s standing on rocky ground right now, and you know how our Samantha is. Always trying to put up a fight. But she’s coming around. All we have to do is keep showing her we’re here. That we aren’t upset and that we aren’t abandoning her. Because that’s her biggest fear. That we’ll get upset and leave, too.”
I watched my brothers nod their heads before they whipped out their phones. And I knew what they were doing. Soon, my own phone buzzed in my pocket and I pulled it out. Each of them had sent a text message to Sam in our group chat. Reassuring her that she was taken care of and protected so long as they were around. I knew it would be a great thing for her to wake up to after her nap. Especially after the conversation I’d had with her.
Then, I opened a private conversation between the two of us before my fingers typed along the screen of my phone.
I love you, Samantha. Never forget that.
CHAPTER 25
LUKE
I felt terrible. If I hadn’t stayed the night with Sam the night of the wedding, the fight with Lauren could have been avoided. I’d put my own wants ahead of Sam’s and now she was hurting even worse. And even though I’d come clean to the brothers about the fact that Lauren knew about Vegas, I hadn’t told them exactly how Lauren came to find out.
And I had a feeling that was why Sam still wasn’t answering my calls.
If I hadn’t been there, things wouldn’t have blown up like they had. Sam would’ve been able to broach this topic with her best friend on her own time, and none of this would’ve happened. She wouldn't have kicked me out. Lauren wouldn't be pissed at her friend. And Sam would be answering my phone calls.
I didn’t know what to do or think. I wanted to help Sam any way I could, but I didn’t know how. Every time I did something I thought was right, it ended up backfiring. Badly.
We had been amazing in bed together, but she never told me how she felt about me. And that didn’t sit well with me. Did she love me, too? Did she care about me? Did I even matter to her? Sam was closed up tight with her emotions, and I wanted her to open up. I wanted her to be able to lean on me like she could Liam. I was strong. Silent. A good listener. I was capable of defending her if I needed to. I’d tried to show her that when I stepped in between her and my own sister. I wanted to show her that I had her back.
But she wasn’t answering my calls, and that meant I was still left without answers.
After sitting in my office and crunching numbers until I was sick of them, I decided to take a drive around the city until I could get my wits about me. But my body was on autopilot, and before I even made a conscious choice, I was sitting in front of Sam’s townhouse.
Even when I wasn’t thinking, I still made the wrong decisions.
I knew I didn’t need to be there, but it was as if my body couldn't help it. So I got out of the car and decided to knock on her door. Just once. Just to see if she would open. I walked up to her door and lifted my fist, knocking solidly on her door.
But there was nothing.
No movement. No sound. And certainly no answer.
Either she really wasn’t there, or she didn’t want to talk to me.
And I figured it was probably the latter.
I slid back into my car and headed back to the office. Maybe some of the other guys had some luck getting in touch with her. I went to my office to gather some paperwork that Liam needed from me and I walked down to his office.
“Have you talked with Sam lately?” I asked.
“No, but I haven’t called her eith
er. I know the last time we talked she told me she was feeling better, which means she’s probably catching up on work. Why?”
“You got time to talk?” I asked.
Liam looked around before he ushered me into his office.
“If she isn’t answering your calls, just give her some time,” Liam said. “She’s probably busy or napping or something.”
“I really put her in a bind,” I said.
“With what?”
Liam’s eyes connected with mine, and I sighed.
“Shit. Okay.”
“What are you not telling me, little brother?” Liam asked.
“When I left the wedding reception, I didn’t go back to my hotel room like I said.”
“You didn’t.”
“I went to go check on Sam. I saw you come back in upset, and I figured something was wrong. And she let me in.”
“Did she talk about me at all?” he asked.
“She didn’t mention it, no. But things happened.”
“What things?”
“I told her how I felt about her again, but this time sober.”
“Oh, well that’s not that bad.”
“And we might have taken a bath together.”
“Not terrible,” he said.
“And slept together,” I said.
“Luke.”
“And I fell asleep in her hotel room.”
“Damn it, Luke.”
“And Lauren came by, and that’s how she knows,” I said quickly.
Liam’s eyes whipped up to mine and I saw frustration behind them. That exasperated look he gave the brothers and I when we’d really fucked up and he felt he had to clean up our mess.
“That’s how Lauren found out?” he asked. “Because she caught you in Sam’s hotel room?”
“It happened so fast. Lauren came banging on the door to check on Sam because she thought Sam was sick, and I had nowhere to hide. Lauren busted through the door and saw me and started rattling on about how I was the father of the child and Sam—blurted everything out.”