by Rye Hart
“Are you assholes done fucking with me now?” I asked. “Or should I just go ahead and head home?”
“Ah, don't get your panties in a bunch, Gabe,” Jared said. “We just want you to be happy.”
“I am happy.”
Jared and Evan shared a look.
“What? I am,” I said. “I have a company that does multi-millions in business – a business I've built myself, mind you. I have the freedom and the ability to travel anywhere in the world I want to go. And I can buy almost anything I could ever want. You really think I'm not happy?”
“No,” Evan said clearly. “You have never been truly happy because you've always been caught up in Hadley. Now's your chance to remedy that. You have another shot with her and those don't come around all that often.”
“It doesn't work like that, Evan, but I appreciate your concern,” I grumbled. “Not that I need it.”
“Suit yourself, bro,” Jared said, leaning back in the chair. “But if you mean it, and she's really not off-limits – ”
“Go for it,” I growled. “She's all yours. Believe me, you'd be doing me a favor by getting together with her. At least then, everybody can get off my fucking back about her.”
CHAPTER THREE
EVAN
“I'm heading home too, I guess,” Jared said, shortly after Gabe left in a huff. “I'm staying here tonight,” I said quietly, staring down at the empty glass in my hand. “I'm helping dad set up the pool for summer tomorrow.”
“Ahh,” Jared said, though his eyes told me he knew the real reason I wasn't going home. “Rebecca still living at your place?”
“Yep. Until the end of the month,” I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. “But that's not the reason – ”
Jared chuckled. “You can't lie to me, Evan,” he said. “Hell, I don't even blame you for crashing here. Living with your ex has to be awkward as hell.”
“You can say that again,” I muttered. “But I can't just kick her out either. I'm not an asshole and she's got nowhere else to go until her new place is ready.”
“Not your problem. Maybe she should have thought about that before she cheated on you,” Jared said. “She deserves to be out on her ass. She should suffer for what she did to you bro.”
“Yeah, well, I'm too nice for my own good, what can I say?”
Jared didn't argue with that. Hell, he couldn't argue with that. We both knew it was a sad truth. Throughout our entire relationship, Rebecca had walked all over me, and I'd treated her like a Goddess. She'd been the light of my world, the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.
Apparently though, she didn't feel the same about me. I only found out because she stumbled into Jared's bar one drunken night and he witnessed it firsthand. If he hadn't seen her giving the guy a handjob in the corner booth, I might have never known. I probably would have gone on thinking everything was great. If Jared hadn't seen her in action, she might still be doing it, and I might still be footing the bill for our nice lake house – the house I had custom-built for us to start a family in.
The house was on the market. I couldn't live there anymore, not with the memories that filled it. I'd never feel happy or comfortable in that place knowing that Rebecca had been fucking other people right under my nose. The hopes, the dreams, the bedrooms built for all of the children we'd talked about having – nah, I couldn't go back living there. Especially, not alone. For the time being, I was staying in my parent's guest house, not that I'd told either of my brothers how long I'd been staying there, but they had to have figured it out by now. They just weren't giving me a lot of grief about it, which I appreciated.
“Listen, man, if you ever need to talk – ”
“I'm good,” I said, cutting him off. “But thanks.”
Jared sighed, shaking his head as he went back into the house. I stayed out there on the patio with my empty glass, looking at the bright, twinkling stars that dotted the darkness overhead. Jared had never been in a long-term relationship before. He'd had a few short-term girlfriends – girls he dated on and off. A few flings. No one the family had ever met though. Gabe was the only one who understood what I was going through. He was far too bitter and angry still. His heartache hit too close to home and there was no way he was going to want to sit and explore our feelings about betrayal together.
“Alright man,” Jared said, patting me hard on the back and pulling me out of my fantasy, “I'm heading out, but if you need anything, you know where to find me. Anything at any time, bro.”
“Thanks, Jared,” I said.
He called an Uber for himself I was glad he wasn't driving home. I lost count of how much we'd had to drink that night but leave it to my bartender of a brother to make responsible choices when I seemed incapable of doing so. I had nowhere else to be that night, so I could continue drinking if I wanted to. However, once my brothers were gone, it seemed pointless. Drinking alone was depressing, and I had enough shit in my life to be depressed about without adding that to the pile.
I stood up to clean my glass and close things up, when I heard a sound on the other side of the fence. The patio door at the Rose's opened and closed, and I heard footsteps walking along the wooden porch. I turned and looked over the fence, and saw Hadley was standing there, by herself. She had her arms wrapped around herself while looking out at the forests and the mountains in the distance.
She seemed lost in her thoughts, the moonlight making her already pale skin look even paler. Her hair was pulled back in a loose ponytail, even thought it was too short for it – tendrils fell free around her face. She was wearing pajama pants and a slinky little tank top that left her arms bare. She held her arms across her chest as if she was cold but made no move to go inside and get out of the chill. She seemed contemplative and somber. Perhaps even a little sad.
I felt bad for staring at her without her realizing it, so I cleared my throat and let her know I was there.
“Nice night, huh?”
It was lame, but it was the only thing I could think of to say. Hadley jumped, startled by my voice, but when she saw it was me, she smiled.
“Yeah, it is. A little chillier than I expected, but it's a nice change from San Diego,” she said. “I've missed it.”
I remembered a time when Hadley used to sunbathe out on the back porch in her teeny little bikini. Jared had always made a big deal out of checking her out, while Gabe was usually over there with her. Chris was usually here with me, sneaking quick glances and envying Gabe for being with her. All of us had a crush on her – how could we not? None of my brothers knew that I would also sneak glimpses of our gorgeous next-door-neighbor from time-to-time. I always played it off and never showed any outward interest. What was the use? She was Gabe’s and was way out of my league anyway.
“What brings you outside in your PJ's?” I asked, suddenly feeling incredibly awkward.
She smiled, and that was enough to make me forget about how stiff and odd I was feeling. “I couldn't sleep. What about you, Evan?”
“My brothers and I were having a drink, but they just left,” I said. “I'm staying in the guest house for a bit, helping my dad around the house.”
She nodded, but her smile wavered a bit. She walked over to the fence and leaned against it, standing on her tip-toes to look over the top of it and into our backyard.
“Not much has changed, huh?” she asked.
“Not really,” I laughed.
It was only then, belatedly, that I realized she was talking about my parent's house, not about my brothers and I. I felt the heat flare in my cheeks and cleared my throat, hoping she hadn't taken it in the wrong way.
“Dad hasn't been doing so well, health-wise,” I said. “He no longer remodels whenever inspiration strikes, so it's pretty much stayed the same over the last few years.”
“There's some comfort in the familiar,” she said. “Sometimes, I really miss the way things used to be.”
Her blue eyes sparkled in the moonlight. “Yeah. Me too,�
� I said.
We used to have a lot of fun together as a group. I was never with Hadley like Gabe or Chris were, we'd always been just friends. “Hey, would you like to come over?” I asked.
“Now?” she giggled.
“Sure, why not?” I said. “Looks like you can't sleep, and neither can I. Why not have a drink and catch up.”
“I'd like that,” Hadley said softly.
Back in the good old days, Hadley would have just jumped the fence. She'd done it many times before, when she'd sneak over without her parents knowing. Tonight though, she walked back into the house and around. When I let her into our backyard, she was wearing a sweatshirt with sleeves that were too long and had let her hair down again, and it fell just above her shoulders, leaving it slightly messy.
“What would you like to drink?” I asked her.
“Hmmm, maybe just a beer. For old time's sake,” she said with a wink.
“Coming right up,” I said.
I grabbed us both a beer. Like she said, for old time's sake. Unlike years past, this time, we were both of legal drinking age. I popped the cap on the bottle before handing it to her, and she looked at it with a grin.
“So your dad has discovered IPA's, huh?”
“Nah, he doesn't drink beer. He's a Scotch or Whiskey man.” I said, taking a drink from the bottle. “I picked these out.”
“Good choice, Evan. I always knew you were a hipster in disguise,” she teased, tipping back the bottle and taking a swig. “You've always had the best taste out of all your brothers.”
“Heh, I have a feeling they'd disagree with you.”
“And they'd be wrong,” she said.
Her face fell for a second, and she stared off in the distance, a lost, haunted look in her eyes. We sat there in silence for a moment before she looked over at me and asked a question I figured was going to come up at some point.
“Gabe still hates me, doesn't he?”
I sighed and took another drink. “Gabe could never hate you, Hadley,” I said. “You know him. He's just difficult sometimes. Stubborn as hell. And he's a hell of a lot more sensitive than he'd like to let on. You hurt him and even now, all these years later, he's still hurting.”
“I hurt him?” she exclaimed, sitting up in the chair. “Has he forgotten about little miss Harvard beauty queen? What was her name again?”
I had no idea what she was talking about, so I shrugged. “Gabe never mentioned anyone else.”
“He didn't?” She raised her eyebrows and then rolled her eyes, blowing out a snort of derision. “Of course he didn't. He wouldn't have told you all about the girl he cheated on me with because that would have made him look bad and he wouldn't have been able to play the fucking victim all these years.”
That caught my attention, and this time, it was my time to sit up straight. I looked at her, my eyes boring into hers.
“Gabe cheated on you?” I asked. “With who?”
Hadley seemed lost in thought, trying to remember a name. Finally, with wide eyes, she snapped her fingers and spoke.
“It started with a J-- Jennifer? No, that's not it–”
“Jessica?” I finished for her and very nearly spat out my beer.
“Yes, that's it. Jessica St. Peters,” she said, shaking her head. “Not sure how I ever forgot that name – it sounds snooty and pretentious as hell. But, that's the girl. Guess I finally got over it after all.”
Jessica was Gabe's ex, and as far as I knew, she'd been a rebound after he and Hadley had their little blowout. Hearing Hadley mention her name though, took me by surprise. She saw something in my eyes as I averted my gaze. It was too late though. Like a hawk snaring its prey, Hadley seized on my expression and pressed me on it.
“What is it, Evan?” she asked.
“Nothing,” I said. “I'm just surprised Gabe would have cheated on you, that's all. He was madly in love with you. I can't believe that he actually – ”
“Well, he did,” she said, sitting back in the chair glumly.
She leaned back and continued studying my face as I fought to not give anything away. It didn't work.
“What aren't you telling me?” she asked.
I sighed. I had never been a very good liar, but this was also none of my business either. I had enough of my own shit to deal with. The last thing I wanted or needed was to get
“You really just need to talk to Gabe,” I said, holding my hands up in the air. “That's all I'm saying. Talk to him. I bet this is all a misunderstanding.”
“Nah, it's not a misunderstanding. Jessica sent me a message, on Facebook, and told me everything. Even sent me texts he'd sent her,” Hadley said.
Her voice was soft, and she looked away from me. For a second, I thought she might start to cry. Which would have been incredibly awkward.
“Do you happen to still have those messages?” I asked.
She took a long pull from her beer and shrugged. “Maybe? I don't know. I don't use Facebook much anymore, but I'm terrible at deleting shit. They could still be there.”
“Mind if I take a look at them sometime?”
“If I have them still, sure,” she said as her gaze narrowed in on me. “I still think there's something you're not telling me, Evan.”
“Nothing worth talking about, that's for sure,” I said. “The past is the past.”
“You can say that again,” she sighed.
She leaned back and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. I stared at her for a long time, mesmerized by her beauty. Her pale skin was milky white, and even with a sweatshirt, you could make out the curves of her body. She'd filled out a bit. Okay, she'd filled out a lot – and was incredibly appealing.
A tightness in my jeans caused me to adjust my position, shifting slightly so she wouldn't notice the bulge in my pants. The chair creaked as I moved, and Hadley opened her eyes and looked at me. A rueful grin spread across her beautiful face, and at first, I feared she might have noticed my erection.
“You know what we should do?” she said.
“What?” I folded my hands and placed them in my lap.
“We should move this conversation to the hot tub,” she said.
My eyes nearly bulged out of my head. Me and Hadley? Alone in the hot tub? I nearly choked on my beer.
“You sure that's a good idea?” I asked. “This late at night?”
She flopped back in the chair, a displeased look on her face. I felt like the asshole who'd just stolen some little kid's candy.
“You're probably right,” she said. “I have to be up early anyway. Grayson wakes up at the crack of dawn usually. Oh, the joys of being a single mother.”
I'd gotten so caught up in the past, I nearly forgot she was a mom now.
“You know, if you need any help with him,” I said, staring down at my beer bottle, “I'm around. I'd love to spend some time with the little man.”
“I'm sure he'd love that too,” she said.
Mentally, I was still kicking myself for screwing up an opportunity to be alone with Hadley – in a hot tub no less. Back in the day, she'd been my dream girl. She was everything I could have wanted in a girlfriend, and then some. But, she wasn't mine. Back then, she was Gabe's girlfriend, then later Chris' girlfriend and then wife. Even now, with Gabe feeling the way he did about her and all the drama that her marriage to Chris caused our little circle, I wasn't sure I could be intimate with her. At least, not without guilt consuming me.
Not that her asking me to join her in the hot tub meant she wanted to have sex with me, but still. I glanced back up and caught her staring at me, a small smile playing upon her full, soft lips.
“What?” I asked, a sheepish grin plastered on my face.
“It's just – ” she started to say, then she stopped and shook her head. “Nothing.”
“No, what is it?” I asked, chuckling as I wiped at my face playfully, “Do I have something on my chin? Something stuck in my teeth? Tell me.”
She giggled, covering her mouth with
her hand. “No, Evan. Nothing like that. It's just, well, you look good,” she said, and then added quickly, “It's just nice to be around you guys again.”
My pulse raced, but I couldn't find the words to respond. My mouth was dry and when I opened it, nothing came out. I sat there, my mouth hanging open, feeling like an absolute idiot.
“I'm sorry, I probably shouldn't have said anything,” she said. “It's just, back in high school, you were always a bit – ”
She struggled to find the word, but I knew exactly what she meant. She didn't have to say it because it was something I'd heard often enough.
“Nerdy?” I asked. “Gangly and goofy-looking – especially compared to my brothers? The one Walker blessed with a brain, but not the looks?”
She started to argue, but I stopped her, raising my hand and shaking my head.
“No, it's okay. I was a geek,” I said, chuckling. “Still am. Thankfully though, nerds are en vogue these days. We're chic. Geeks are now considered to be sexy or something. Or so I'm told.”
She smiled wider. “Well, I don't know about geeks being chic or sexy, but you didn't miss out on the Walker boy good looks, believe me.”
“I uhh, well, I must be dreaming, because Hadley Rose just said I was hot,” I said. “Someone pinch me, please.”
Hadley leaned across the small patio table and pinched my arm, giggling like a maniac the entire time, making me laugh as well.
“See? Not dreaming. I meant it,” she said.
I leaned back in the chair and stared off into space for a long time. I had no words to say. How did one respond to something like that without sounding like a total tool?
“Thank you for that. I've been waiting years to hear you say those words,” was all I could think to say.
“Oh really?” Hadley said, taking a swig from the bottle. “You had a crush on me too?” she asked in a teasing tone.
“All of us did, Hadley,” I said. “It wasn't just Gabe and Chris. We all had the hots for you.”
She seemed surprised, and she blushed as she quickly averted her gaze.
“I had no idea. I honestly didn't know Chris had feelings for me until – well, until Gabe and I split up,” she said. “After we broke up, Chris came to check on me at college. Just wanted to make sure I was okay. It was the sweetest thing anyone had ever done for me. For him to come all that way just to check up on me.”