And then he got Titus in the ring.
My stomach falls realizing that he set the guy I like up to fail.
Not to mention, the guy I like has totally betrayed my trust.
I step away, not wanting to watch anymore. But it’s hard not to glance back, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t surprised with the way Titus moves around the ring as if he was a seasoned pro.
It makes no sense except for this: Titus wasn't telling me the truth.
He must be an MMA fighter and he didn't want me to know. Probably because I made it clear that I wasn't interested in them.
Did he lie to get in my pants?
Tears sting my eyes at the thought. Was any of last night real?
I push away from the crowd, not wanting to watch the end of the fight. I shove the cookies into my grandpa's chest and tell him thanks for nothing.
Grandpa Teddy tells me to stop, but I hear a crack in the air, a blow to Johnny. I turn to see Johnny bouncing off the canvas.
Tears burn my eyes and I hate this. Hate the way my perfect morning has turned out. It's not how it was supposed to go. It feels like everyone in this gym is out to get me.
Johnny knows I like Titus and he knows I don't want to date a fighter. Grandpa knows that too. And Titus knows that. Yet, every man in my life has decided what I want for me.
What the hell is wrong with them? I want to run away, but before I do, deeper fury rises in me.
I'm not one to walk away without a fight. So instead, I spin back around on my heels and I march to the ring, ripping open the gate to the metal cage.
That shuts up all the guys watching really quick.
Johnny’s in a chokehold with blood all over both of them. I feel ill. Titus lets go of Johnny and he falls to the mat.
“Shit. Tink,” Titus says as he reaches for Johnny's hand, helping him stand. “You weren't supposed to… I didn't think you’d be here…”
I shake my head, cutting him off, pushing my hands against his chest. “You lied to me, Titus.” I turn to Johnny, whose mouth is bloody. “And you, Johnny. What are you thinking?” I shake my head in fury. “And Grandpa, you're the worst of all. You knew I liked Titus and yet you let this happen.”
I turn on my heels and I walk out of the cage. Not sure I proved anything, but at least I gave them the truth. I'm not happy with any of these men and they need to know it.
As I pass the crowd of guys, I see a red rose plant sitting on the floor. My heart tightens and I blink back more tears. I know who that is for, but it doesn't make a difference.
I push open the doors of the gym and step outside, the freezing cold air whipping around me. The tears on my cheeks turn the ice. My heart feels frozen as I run, refusing to look back. Even when I hear Titus, Johnny and Grandpa call my name.
My heart sinks, and part of me wants to turn back around and pretend this doesn’t hurt. But it does. I like Titus. More than like him. I felt something so real when he kissed me, made love to me, held me like there was no tomorrow.
I’m a fool.
My feet pound the pavement as I run to the one place I've always gone for solace. The one place I can really let my heart out. I open the gate to the cemetery, and I slow my run to a walk, wanting to respect this place.
When I get to my parents' gravesite, I sit down on my heels, my fingers brushing their gravestone, and I cry. I have spent so many years of my life protecting myself from getting hurt, making a promise to myself to never date someone who I might lose. Losing Mom and Dad broke me, and I don't want it to happen again.
But now I'm faced with a new emotion… one I've never considered before.
Now I've lost something that I never had to begin with.
And how do you get over someone you never even knew?
Chapter Seven
Titus
Of all the things I thought would happen today, I didn’t expect this. To lose Tink before I ever had her. I growl in frustration, slamming my fists into a wall as she runs off. My life is ruined if she isn’t in it.
Dramatic? Maybe, but it’s how I fucking feel. She is meant to be mine. I feel it in my bones. But now she’s gone.
And it feels like the world has collapsed all over again.
I lost my best friend. I can’t lose the girl too.
“Why did you set me up to fail?” I shout at Johnny and Teddy.
“I didn’t realize how serious you were about her. Now I know you aren’t messing around with my granddaughter.”
“And how do you know that?”
“Because I fell in love at first sight too, son. I know the signs.”
“She doesn’t want to see me,” I say.
“Go change her mind,” Teddy tells me, handing me the rosebush.
“Don’t let her go.” Johnny hands me a sweatshirt and I pull it on, not looking back.
I run after her even though she doesn't stop when I ask her to, I run after her even though the look in her eyes when she stepped into the cage nearly broke me. She watched me knock out her best friend; will she ever trust me now?
I run after her even though I've lost the right to ask for her heart. I run after her because the truth of it is, she has mine. All of it.
And damn, I can’t just watch her run away without fighting for one more chance.
For us, it wasn't exactly love at first sight, but it sure as hell was love at second sight. I thought I was falling for her last night, and just now, when I saw her at the gym — her eyes blazing with emotion and hot tears streaming down her cheeks — I knew. Hell, I know I love this girl.
And I'll do anything I can to make sure she is safe and protected. To make sure she knows she's not alone in this world. Even if my actions today have told her otherwise.
I know what she's thinking. That I'm a liar. That I’m full of shit; hell, through her eyes, I can see her point. But if I can just get her to stop running, if I can just get her to turn around, then I can explain.
I don't know where she's headed, but I keep after her. But when I see her turn into a cemetery, tears fill my eyes. I haven't been to one since Jordan died, and I have a feeling I know whose grave she's headed for.
She told me last night that her parents had died. Her grandparents raised her. And as I watch her slow her pace from a run to a walk, I pause, giving her space.
Even though I want her, it doesn't mean I get her without permission. I watch as she falls to her knees, as her fingertips brush against the tombstones of her parents. I walk closer with my heart pounding, the rosebush in my hand and tears in my goddamn eyes.
I’ve hurt her. It’s my fault she’s crying and alone right now and it's time for me to fix it. I clear my throat; she turns, not expecting me. Her eyes widen.
I lift my hand in surrender. “Tink, I’ve known you less than a day, so I understand if you want to yell at me and tell me to go, that I have no right to be here to be talking to you. I'd understand your point of view, but if you just give me a second to explain—”
She cuts me off, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. “Not here. I don't want to fight here.”
I nod in understanding. “I don't want to fight anywhere.”
She laughs tightly. “Didn't look like it. I saw you back at the ring. You seem mighty comfortable fighting.”
“It's not what you think,” I say.
“You don't know what I think,” she tells me. She stands, brushing the dirt from her knees. “I put it all together. It wasn't that hard.”
I swallow, wondering if she realizes who I am, but when she starts talking, I realize she still doesn't know that part of my story.
“My grandpa must've put you up to the fight,” she says. “Which I get. If you fought, he figured that I wouldn't like you.”
“I don’t think he was trying to hurt you,” I tell her.
“No? Then what was he trying to do?” she asks.
“I think he was looking to protect you. From a guy like me. And honestly, that means he is doing his job. If he do
esn’t make sure you are with someone with good intention, who will?”
“What about Johnny?” she asks. “I can't believe he'd want to hurt me. He knew how much I like you.”
I step toward her. “You like me?”
She twists her lips. “I thought I did… but I also thought I knew you. I didn't think you were a liar last night when we made love.”
My heart pounds. “Love?” I ask.
She shakes her head, wiping away the tears in her eyes. “I thought so… it felt like more than sex. But I also feel like I don't know anything anymore.”
“I think you're being a little hard on yourself,” I say.
“Oh, yeah?” she says. “And how should I be right now? Tell me. Since you seem to know everything.”
“Fuck, what you saw back there… Hell, maybe your grandpa did set me up, but it’s because he's looking out for you. Because he loves you. Because he doesn't want you to get hurt. And that’s something I can understand because I sure as hell don't want you to get hurt either.”
She swallows and lifts her eyes to the sky. It's bright blue and I wish right now it felt like a sunshiny day. Instead, it feels like there's a storm brewing even there isn't a cloud in sight. It makes me wonder if we're looking at this all wrong. If there's a way through this anger and confusion and a way to get to happiness. A way back to love.
“I’m sorry for lying to you.”
“About which part?” Tink asks, crossing her arms.
I want to smile because damn, she looks so cute. With her upturned nose, and eyes that are flaring with fury, but I don't dare laugh right now. She has strong emotions and I don't want to minimize them.
“Look, your best friend Johnny, he's a good guy. He told me he'd throw the fight. Your grandpa told us that if I beat him, I could have you. So, that was the plan. It wasn't any more complicated than this. There wasn't some ulterior motive. There was one motive. Getting the girl. Getting you.”
She bites her bottom lip. “Really, it was just as simple as that?”
“Your grandpa wanted me to prove something. If I didn't prove it, then what? Then where we would be?”
“I honestly don't know,” she says. “But maybe we wouldn't be at the cemetery crying our eyes out.” She throws her hands in the air. “I come here when I feel lost and confused. My parents were two of the happiest people I ever knew. My memories of them are so pure, so good. When things get messy, when life seems hard, I come here, and they help give me clarity. They remind me of what really matters.”
“And what really matters to you, Tink?” I ask her, wishing so badly that I could take her hand in mine, wishing so badly I could kiss her and tell her it's all going to be okay.
“In the end, all that matters is love. And family. The rest of it? It's all bullshit.”
“Well, listen to me then, Tink. I'm not bullshitting you when I say I love you.”
“You love me?” she asks. “You love a girl you don't know? A girl you lied to?”
“I didn't lie to you last night when I told you I wasn't a fighter.”
“You sure about that? You looked pretty confident in the metal cage.”
“I was a fighter, but I'm not anymore.”
“What do you mean not anymore?”
I run a hand over the back of my neck. “I didn’t want to tell you because it's going to have you backing away even faster than you already are.”
“I'm trying to understand you,” she says. “But you are making it pretty difficult.”
“I understand you better than you know, baby.”
“What's that supposed to mean?” she asks, exasperated. “I don't have the energy for cryptic messages.”
“Listen, I’m Titus Beau Jones. T. B. Jones.”
Her eyes narrow. “T. B. Jones? You're the fighter. The famous four-time champ.”
I nod. “Something like that.”
“But you look like…”
I smirk. “Like I've been living alone in the woods for six months?”
She nods, stepping closer to me, running her hand over my beard. “Yeah. You look like you've been to hell and back.”
“I have, Tink.” I swallow. “Listen, I get it. You don't want to be with a fighter because people who live their lives in the ring can get bloody and blue, bruised and broken. They could end up dead. You've already lost enough.” I look at the gravesite and set the rosebush down in front of it. “I lost someone I love — my best friend Jordan.”
She nods. “I remember that story. Jordan Johnson.”
“I was supposed to be in the ring that night, but I got the fucking flu. I was puking my guts up, so he took my place and guess what? It was the last day he ever spent on Earth.”
“That wasn't your fault,” she says, reaching for my hand.
“Maybe not, but it's the facts. I was sick and he died and that's something I have to live with every day of my life. So, I moved to the mountains. I kept my head down and was planning on doing that for a long-ass time. And then I saw you last night and everything changed. Because what's the point of living if you're not also loving?”
I run a hand over my beard, wanting her to see me. However, I’m scared she might not. “I know what you're thinking,” I say. “That I’m a fucking mess.”
“That isn’t what I’m thinking,” she says. “When I was a little girl, maybe seven or eight, possibly nine, I would pick out the strongest, toughest men I saw at the gym. I’d root for them, believing in their strength as if they were a knight in shining armor. But when it came to my love life, I fought against that desire, refusing to consider a man who felt alive in the ring.”
She swallows, reaching for my hand. “I always thought the best kind of hero in a fairy tale was a knight. One who was willing to fight for the princess’s honor. And that's what you did the night we met. And I have a feeling you’ll do that every day of your life.”
Without saying another word, she stands on her tiptoes and wraps her arms around me.
I don’t let her go. Her words are the cure for my healing heart.
Chapter Eight
Tink
Titus picks me off the ground and my legs wrap around his waist. He's so strong, so solid, and against him, I feel like I could float away. He has such a hold on me as he kisses me.
Our tongues entwine, his lips so soft, our mouths open, his heart against mine. I feel the pounding in his chest. It’s the rhythm of my own beating heart. I sink into his kiss, not wanting him to ever let me go.
My grandpa had good intentions when he put him in that ring today. He wanted to protect me. Titus had good intentions too when he told me he wasn't a fighter. In his mind, last night, he wasn't. He gave up parts of himself to act as a shield of armor.
Now I see him as my knight in shining armor. He rescued me last night from Marco and he's rescuing me from myself right now. Because my first instinct when I felt betrayed was to push him away and hide so I could avoid pain.
But when Titus holds me, I realize the pain in this world is going to come whether we like it or not. And wouldn't it be better to have someone who loves us by our side when we go through the hurt that’s coming one way or another?
Isn't it better to be with someone who loves us, than to be alone? I close my eyes, savoring the moment of his lips locked with mine. It's crazy, being right here at my parents’ graves, but in some way, I feel like they are giving us their blessing.
“You bought me a rosebush,” I whisper between kisses.
“I did,” he answers.
“I think we should plant it here,” I say as he sets me down.
“Yeah?” Then without another word, he walks away and returns with a shovel that was leaning against a maintenance shed. He digs a hole next to the graves and together we unwrap the burlap sack from around the roots. We set it in the hole, patting the dirt on top of it.
“It's like they're with us here. Do you feel that?” I ask him.
He nods. “I do. When I was in the ring today, I f
elt Jordan with me. Most people wouldn't understand something like that.”
“I understand,” I tell him, taking his hand in mine. “I understand.”
“Are we doing this thing?” he asks me.
I blink back tears, not entirely knowing what I'm committing to, but knowing the only word on my lips is yes. “Yes, I am.”
“Good,” he says, standing and wiping his hands on his pants. Then he takes my hand. “Come on, I need to warm you up. You look frozen.”
I don't ask where he's taking me because, in all honesty, I don't really care where we go. I just want to be with Titus right now. How in the world I could feel so connected to someone I just met, I don't quite understand, but it's here and it's real and I'm not letting this go away.
We walk back to the gym, hand in hand, and he opens his truck door for me, and I climb onto the passenger seat. Soon enough we're driving out of town toward Fells Mountain.
He turns on the radio. It's an oldies station and I smile. Okay, Titus likes oldies. I make a note of it. These are the things I want to know; the details about him that I need to memorize because I have a feeling he's going to be in my life for a long, long time.
Soon enough, we're at a cabin and he parks the truck. As we walk to the front door, he takes my hand. “It’s my great-uncle's place and whenever I needed a place to stay for a few months while I'd get my head on straight, a family member offered it to me. I know it isn’t much.”
“I don't care where you live,” I tell him honestly. “I live with my grandma and grandpa. I'm twenty-one years old and live at home.”
“You're lucky,” he says. “I’ve been on the road for a long time.”
I look around at the wilderness, at the tall trees, amazed we are such a short drive from the city but in the woods.
“Do you have a home anywhere?” I ask as he pushes open the door.
“No, but I'd like to make one.”
Hope fills my chest. “I’d like to make one too,” I say, even though I've never even thought about it before right now.
Fighting For The Forbidden: Worth The Fight Series Page 4