by Lee Mae
“Sick,” said Nate, leaping over the wall and high-fiving his friend.
I stared at him in disbelief. “Seriously? You could have hit me, you know,” I snapped, my good mood vanishing.
They ignored me, instead slapping hands with Zack. “Shelley Vanderhorn’s mom is working late tonight. She said she’s got a couple of bottles of vodka stashed. Wanna hang?”
Zack didn’t answer.
Chris angled his head in my direction. “Why are you hanging out with Dumps over here?”
I stared at him in confusion. “Dumps?”
He smirked. “Yeah, you know, short for ‘Dumpster Fire.’”
I didn’t know whether to be offended or amazed that I’d not only earned a nickname on my first day of school, but that it had already been tossed around enough to be shortened affectionately to ‘Dumps.’
I glanced at Zack, hoping he might somehow stick up for me, but he remained silent.
“Yo.” Nate leaned in, his face affecting concern. “You’ve got something right there.”
Instinctively, I glanced down to the spot where he was pointing, which is when he used his pointer finger to knock the rest of the ice cream cone out of my hand and onto my dress.
“Noice!” Chris said, laughing heartily.
I clenched my teeth. “You guys are assholes.” I picked up the cone and tossed it at Nate’s head. It glanced off the side of his face.
He scoffed in anger. “Hey, watch it! You could have hit me in the eye.”
“Serves you right,” I said, wiping at the new mess he’d made of my dress. “I never did anything to you guys. Why don’t you lay off?”
“Sorry, Dumps. Can’t do that.” Chris turned his attention to Zack. “See you at Shelley’s tonight.” Then he and Nate took off down the street.
Zack stood there, saying nothing. No apology. No reaction. Just silence. I realized I’d been an idiot, thinking he might be accepting me as an equal.
“Thanks,” I said, my anger overflowing.
“You’re the new girl. You’re going to get some hazing. Just ignore them.”
“Really? That’s your response? Those guys are your friends. You could have told them to knock it off.”
“Like they would have listened. They would have kept fucking with you anyway. It’s how they are. Maybe you shouldn’t engage. They’ll get bored and leave you alone eventually.”
I grunted. “Sure, don’t engage and let them pull my pants down and cover me in spitballs. Hell, maybe they’ll set me on fire next.”
He scowled. “And this is why they call you Dumps. You overreact and spit fire everywhere.”
That really pissed me off.
As if I deserved any of this?
“Right. You know what? You’re just as bad as they are. If not worse.” I turned and walked away, no longer willing to have that conversation. Zack wasn’t going to stick up for me. He’d probably be calling me Dumps tomorrow with all of his buddies. If he wasn’t already using the nickname.
“Wait, I’ll give you a ride,” he called out.
“Don’t bother.” Riding the bus would be better than riding home with someone who didn’t think I was worth the effort.
“Nikki, you’re overreacting.”
I turned around and flipped him off with both of my middle fingers.
7
Zack
6 Weeks Later
WE WERE IN the cafeteria, having lunch and watching Chris’s re-enactment of a fight between two bums down by the railroad tracks when I saw Nikki carrying her tray across the room. She joined a group at a table several away from ours. She’d stopped wearing flashy outfits and today she’d chosen tight fitting jeans, a denim jacket, and a peasant blouse with a neckline that showed occasional glimpses of her cleavage. I felt a tightening in my jeans and pulled my eyes away, concentrating on lunch.
Leigh’s arm brushed mine as she leaned in to snag a piece of fruit off my tray. She smiled up at me, then asked if I’d given a thought to the Winter Formal.
I shrugged. The dance was still a month away.
“Look at Dumps,” one of Leigh’s entourage said, pointing in her direction.
I turned my head to see what the fuss was about. Nicole had taken off her jacket, and given it to Sam, who I’d had a class with the previous year. Sam pulled out a pair of scissors and started making cuts on the jacket while the group watched.
“They’re making it so she’ll fit in better with them on the Island of Misfit Toys,” Leigh said, causing her girlfriends to snigger.
I ignored their conversation, instead watching as Sam ripped at the jacket, then added a few safety pins. She slid it back onto Nicole’s shoulders, and Nikki twirled around, tossing off poses for the group. The girls around her clapped excitedly.
Chris slapped his hands together like a seal and sent up a high giggle, mocking them.
Laughing out loud, Leigh put her hand over her mouth and then rested her head on my shoulder. “God, they’re so lame. Don’t you think?”
Her constant affectionate gestures were starting to grate on me. I’d never given her any inkling that I was interested. Not to mention that every time she touched me, Nate stared daggers in my direction. I knew it was about time to say something to her. But, knowing Leigh, even letting her down gently would lead to some sort of drama.
My new plan was to throw Nate and Leigh together as often as possible. If I could get them to hook up, then she’d stop acting as if we were more than just friends.
The thought drew my eyes right back to Nicole. She was preening in her newly distressed jacket, laughing with her friends. Even having ditched the high fashion look, she was radiant, her expression open, her light brighter than a thousand fluorescents. Unfortunately, she was also stubborn and temperamental. We’d been making it work as partners for our Econ project, but it hadn’t been easy. Nicole wouldn’t agree to meeting in person after the incident with Chris and Nate, so we were confined to video chats after school and on the weekend. I’d regretted not sticking up for her that day at the ice cream shop. But, I was so used to the guys acting like assholes that I hadn’t thought too much about it until after the fact.
When you moved in a herd, you kept your behaviors in line with your peers. I was beginning to realize this herd mentality was holding me back. And it was definitely interfering in my interactions with Nicole.
Sometimes, during our video chats, she’d forget to hate me and her formal demeanor would drop. We’d joke about something that happened in class, or talk about music or movies. Honestly, the more we chatted, the more I liked her. I’d even starting coming up with excuses to chat more often, even branching out beyond the Econ homework when that well started to run dry.
But at school, it was like a wall stood between us. Until this morning. It was first period English, and we’d been making our way through Romeo and Juliet, mostly by reading aloud, although sometimes by acting out the scenes. I’d yet to be called on, but today was my lucky day, it seemed.
The beginning of Act Three, Scene Five consisted of only two parts: Romeo and Juliet. I was chosen as the male half of the infamous duo, and Nicole was paired with me as Juliet. I’ll admit, my enthusiasm was lacking at first, but when Nicole started the scene, she made the words come alive.
I stared at her, rapt, almost forgetting to read my own lines. Her performance was so inspiring that it made me raise my game to match hers. As I listened to her try and convince me, er, Romeo that it was the nightingale and not the lark who’d been calling outside the window, I could feel the chemistry between us start to build.
The scene took place the morning after the couple spent the night together, doing what star-crossed lovers do. Juliet doesn’t want Romeo to go, so she is trying to make him stay. But if he stays, he’ll be killed.
In that moment, as we exchanged the Bard’s immortal words, I felt what Romeo had. If I had to leave behind the beautiful Nicole after a night of passion, I might be willing to risk death to stay.
The scene was supposed to contain a kiss between us, so Nicole obligingly leaned in. For a second, I thought she was going to kiss my lips, and I was instantly hard, suddenly wishing for nothing more than the feeling of Nicole’s lips against mine. Instead, they gently brushed my cheek, and Mrs. Greaves called the scene to an end.
Thinking about that moment now, I had to force myself to look away from Nikki, or everyone would see my raging hard on.
I heard Leigh start to snigger, along with my friends. I looked up to notice that Nikki and her crew were our way to the double doors behind us.
“Cool jacket,” Leigh said to Nicole as she passed. “Where did you get it? The janitor’s closet?”
Chris guffawed. “Burn!”
Nikki, head held high, looked down her nose at Leigh. “No. Actually my really talented friend, Sam, made it for me. And the last time I checked, the only thing hanging in the janitor’s closet were nude pictures of your mom.”
I couldn’t help myself. I laughed.
Leigh looked at me like I was a monster, but I was tired of going along with her Queen Bee of Valley High shtick. I watched Nikki leave, vowing to myself to break down the wall between us.
That day, as we checked our stocks’ performances in Econ, I invited her to my house to work on our upcoming assignment.
She looked at me, confused. “I…uh…well, I don’t think—”
“Before you make up some excuse and say you’re only available to video chat, I want to inform you that you’ll be missing some of the best chocolate chip cookies in your life. And infinite milk for dunking.”
Looking like she was fighting a smile, her nose scrunched up as she replied. “Infinite milk? Do you live on a dairy farm? That would explain a lot.” She wafted her hand in front of her nose, a look of disgust on her face, before collapsing into a fit of giggles.
I realized then that Nikki might put on a hard façade, but underneath she was a marshmallow. A marshmallow that liked to crack jokes.
“I do in fact live on a dairy farm, and I’m forced to milk the herd every morning before school. It’s how my hands became so strong,” I said, then flexed on the pencil I was holding, breaking it in half. “And so skilled.” Taking her arm, I gently massaged it.
It seemed my bluster was starting to take down the wall, brick by brick.
“Okay, Dairy King. Although your offer is udderly adorable…”
I laughed at the pun.
She continued. “What guarantee do I have that you aren’t secretly planning to feed me a cow pie?”
I gasped and mimed clutching my pearls. “I would never!”
“But some of your pals might,” she said, her face turning serious.
“Look,” I said, deciding to level with her, “I’m not a Leigh fan either at the moment. And I want to knock this portfolio out of the park because I’m already repeating my senior year. I don’t want a three-peat. The cookies are real.”
For a moment, I thought she’d turn me down again, but then she angled her head and gave me a nod. “Okay. I’ll give it a chance, but if I end up with ice cream smeared on me and a new lame nickname, no more chances will be forthcoming.”
“Deal.”
WE MET OUTSIDE her locker after final period and managed to make it to my car without any of my friends noticing. My house wasn’t far from the school, and soon we were parking in the driveway and heading inside. The house was dark and quiet, making me assume my mother was having one of her long afternoon naps, often sponsored by chardonnay.
In the kitchen, I motioned for Nicole to grab a seat at the oversized island.
“Where are these world famous cookies?” she asked, a half smile on her plump lips.
“Coming right up,” I said, beginning to pull ingredients out of the cupboard.
“Wait, you have to bake them?” she said, confused.
I nodded. “It won’t take long. While I do, why don’t you pull up that link I sent you, the one about the tech company we invested in, and read the article out loud?”
Nicole did as suggested, and I hurriedly pulled together a batch of cookies. I might have overestimated their deliciousness, but there was no way I was going to welch on the cookie promise. Soon, Nicole was reading, her voice distracting me as I tried to remember how many cups of flour I’d added to the bowl. Shit.
I’d just added two trays of cookies into the oven when she finished.
“So experts think the stock is going to split?”
I nodded, leaning on the island and putting my head in my hands. “Yeah. Which could be good for us, because the share price will likely go up.”
Nikki nodded. “Do you think we should pull our funds out of the retail chain we bought into? Its performance has been flat so far.”
We discussed the merits of putting more money into the tech stock before it split to maximize our returns while the cookies baked. I finally pulled them out of the oven, then poured two big glasses of milk.
“When did you learn to bake?” she asked as I gave her a still-warm cookie.
“This last year, actually.” Without the usual wall between us, I felt like I could explain further. “My mother used to do all the cooking, but she’s been…taking things hard. So I stepped in to make sure we got fed.”
Nicole’s eyes widened. “That’s a lot of responsibility.”
I shrugged. “She took care of me for the first 18 years. I think I can handle some time in the kitchen. I haven’t burned down anything.” I crossed the first two fingers on both my hands. “Yet.”
She giggled, and the sound made me warm and happy.
“These cookies aren’t half bad,” she said, dunking hers to take another bite. Her compliment filled me with satisfaction. I was beginning to realize that I was way more into Nikki than I wanted to admit.
But was she into me?
8
NIKKI
HANGING OUT AT Zack’s house wasn’t what I expected. Zack wasn’t what I expected. After that first day, I’d put no stock in him. I didn’t expect him to be my knight in shining track pants, but I thought he might at least stand up for me to his friends, just out of common group-partner courtesy.
Although it had been awkward afterward, we still had to work on our project, so I’d resorted to video chats. I couldn’t be ambushed by Leigh and her sycophants while on my laptop in the safety of my own home…or shitty two-bedroom apartment. To my surprise, the chats had become something I looked forward to. Sometimes I didn’t want to hang up. While we spent most of our time talking about homework, there were moments when we just related like two friends.
But as I watched Zack dunk the cookie he’d baked himself, I realized I wasn’t thinking of him as a friend right now. I was thinking about this morning, when we were reciting Shakespeare to each other. The classroom had faded away as I’d imagined us together in some sort of magical Italian castle, tapestries against stone walls, a balcony stretching over a fragrant garden. And a big, tousled bed where we’d spent the night together.
I could feel a blush starting to heat my cheeks as I remembered how I’d felt, how much I’d considered pressing my lips against his and kissing him like Juliet would have kissed Romeo if she thought she might be seeing him for the last time.
I’d restrained myself, thankfully, or I would have risked being an even bigger laughingstock. But now, talking quietly in his kitchen, the urge to kiss him was coming back, even worse than before.
The more I learned about Zack, the more I liked him. The more I liked him, the harder it was to beat back my fledgling crush. It meant I noticed things like the little hint of a scar under his chin. It was the tiniest curvature beneath his lip, and I wondered how he’d gotten it. Maybe in a fistfight, protecting the vulnerable.
There you go again, puffing him up to hero status. Remember, he’s still part of that cursed group of popular pricks.
It was getting harder and harder to recall that fact. He baked cookies, recited Shakespeare, and laughed at my lame p
uns. If that’s not boyfriend material, then I don’t know what is.
He caught me looking at him with what was no doubt a dreamy expression on my face. His slow smile raised the temperature, and I felt heat ripple over my body as he spoke in a husky tone. “Do you know what I would have said that morning, if I were Romeo?”
I blinked up at him, caught off guard, then shook my head.
He leaned in closer, his voice little more than a whisper. “I would have said that we don’t have to worry about night becoming morning, because when I’m with you, time stops.”
The line had its intended effect, because I felt like I was melting into a puddle. He moved closer, until his mouth was an inch away. I knew he was going to kiss me, like I should have kissed him in class, but before he could press his lips to mine, a huge snigger made me raise my head.
The sliding glass door between the kitchen and the backyard was open, a screen door the only thing between being indoors and out. And standing at that screen door were two familiar figures.
I turned away quickly, not wanting to face the two degenerates who were currently opening the door and letting themselves inside. My stomach sank.
“What are you guys doing here?” Zack asked, not looking too pleased himself.
“Dude, you invited us over to watch basketball tonight. I even took the night off from work,” Chris said, walking over to the oven. “Cookies? Sweet. I’m starving.”
Zack sighed.
“You like basketball, D? I’ll save you a seat on my lap,” Nate said with an evil smile.
D. For Dumps. Again, so fucking immature. I seriously hated these guys. “Fuck off,” I mumbled.
“Wow. Dumps has a dirty mouth. Shocker,” Chris replied dryly.
I looked at Zack.
He gave me an apologetic smile. “Sorry. I forgot I’d invited them over.”
I gave him a dirty look. “Obviously.”
Instead of asking them to leave, Zack told them to wait in the other room. “We’re almost done here.”