by Natasha West
‘What?’ the woman said.
‘But I don’t do videos. I don’t care who it’s for. I’m not waving and saying hello to your brother Steve from Utah’ she said sarcastically, intending to get up and leave. Her trip felt spoiled already.
‘I don’t have a brother named Steve. His name is Phil and he is most certainly not from Utah. He lives in Oxford’ the woman said in a crisp British accent. She sounded pissed.
Ruby realised her mistake. This was a British tourist having a drink and she’d just been rude to her for nothing. ‘Shit. You don’t actually have any clue who I am, do you? I thought you were looking at me’ she said, wanting to explain.
‘I was’ the Brit said awkwardly. ‘I mean, I wasn’t looking looking. I was just, you know… Looking.’
Ruby wanted to die. ‘Yeah, don’t worry about it. I was being an ass.’
They turned away from each other for a second, which Ruby spent castigating herself thoroughly. What the hell was wrong with her? Why did she have to keep being such a bitch with everyone? Here was this woman, minding her own business, and Ruby had just given her shit because she’d thought it was the same old thing. People getting in her face and in her space. Ruby was beginning to think she might have chosen the wrong career if she didn’t like people looking at her. And she was currently only C-list. What the hell would it be like if she actually got the big budget movie? What if she went all the way? She didn’t want it and yet she needed it. So she was stuck. Doomed.
Of course, there was no way to explain all this to the Brit. She couldn’t explain that she’d been an asshole because she was too famous yet not famous enough. Even to Ruby, it was pathetic. She was sick of her own story. She wanted someone else’s.
She wanted the Brit’s.
So she offered her a drink, not remotely expecting her to accept. But somehow, the Brit had done. They toasted.
‘What’s your name, anyway?’ Ruby asked.
‘Umm, Emily’ the woman answered quietly.
‘Emily’ Ruby repeated. It was exactly the right name for this person. Ruby couldn’t have picked out a better one for her if she’d had a month to think about it. ‘Well, I’m Ruby’ she added.
‘Ruby, can I ask you a question?’
‘Sure.’
‘What was all that stuff about photos?’
Ruby had hoped to avoid this topic. But it was probably better to bite the bullet. ‘I’m an actress’ she told her, thinking that covered it.
‘Yes?’ Emily replied, unimpressed.
‘So I’m kind of famous’ Ruby went on, hating how that sounded. Braggy.
‘Are you?’ Emily asked. ‘What’s your full name?’
‘Ruby Knight.’
Emily bit her lip and looked nervous. ‘Sorry. I haven’t heard of you.’
Ruby smiled. ‘Great.’
‘Is it?’
‘Yep.’
‘So what would I find if I Googled you?’ Emily asked. ‘What are you famous for?’
‘Nothing I’m proud of’ Ruby said casually.
‘Oh dear’ Emily said, frowning. Ruby wasn’t happy about that frown. She’d meant her comment to be breezy. She’d wanted to sound effortless and sophisticated and world-weary. She’d wanted to sound bored with her own success. That was how people in LA talked in private. They mocked the terrible Hollywood machine, grinding out shit that the masses ate up with a spoon. They laughed about how they took the money and ran. It had become quite normal to casually put the whole thing down, like you were so talented that success had been thrust upon you, and that you had no choice but to take it, laughing as you threw a fraction of your capabilities into your work, phoning it in and succeeding in a job that was beneath you and scrabbled for by so many. How Ruby actually felt about it all was somewhat more complex, but this was how she’d learned to relate to other people in her industry.
But Emily wasn’t from the machine. This bullshit wasn’t going to cut it with her, and now Ruby knew that. ‘I mean, I’m on a show about teenagers and it’s not all that good.’
‘What’s not good about it?’
‘It’s a copy of a thousand other shows. There’s nothing original about it at all.’
‘If you don’t think it’s good, why did you take the job?’ Emily questioned. Funnily enough, no one had ever asked that question before. Ruby wasn’t sure she’d ever asked herself that question. Not really. But that didn’t mean she didn’t have an answer, supplied by her mother many times over. ‘That’s what actors do. They take the job, whatever it is. Better to work on something shitty than wait for something good and be unemployed.’
Emily took a sip of her drink thoughtfully.
‘So anyway, what about you? What’s your story?’ Ruby asked, desperate to move away from this topic.
‘Oh, me? I work in a bookshop’ Emily said. ‘Not quite as glamorous.’
Ruby didn’t agree with that. From where she stood, a bookshop was the height of exoticness. It carried a weight behind it, the implication of serious, high-minded intellectualism. Something Hollywood was in short supply of. But Ruby wasn’t about to admit she was impressed. ‘A book store? They still have those?’ she asked with a grin.
Ruby was relieved to see Emily laugh. ‘You can still find them sometimes, yes. If you look under the right rock.’
‘How long have you worked there?’
‘Since I was old enough to reach the shelves. Family business.’
‘Wow. You ever want to do anything different?’
‘Not really. Happy there.’
‘Good for you’ Ruby said sincerely. The thought of being content to be where you were was astonishing to Ruby. Ever since she could remember, she was trying to move forward, up. A better role, a better agent, a better fee, a better life. It was always just around the corner and yet somehow, she never seemed to arrive.
‘So, umm…’ Emily began, suddenly seeming nervous. Ruby awaited the question with some anxiety. She felt out of her depth with Emily. But when the question came, Ruby didn’t mind it. ‘Are you single?’
Ruby was indeed single, mostly always. She didn’t mean to tear through women, she didn’t consider herself a Casanova. It was just that everyone she met ended up boring her. Actresses, models, producers, directors, screenwriters. They’d be strange and new and exciting at first. But soon enough, she’d realise they had nothing new to tell her about the world because at heart, they were just like her. ‘Yes, I’m single. Any reason you’d need to know that.’
Emily’s eyes went wide with horror. ‘Oh, no, I’m not being presumptuous or anything. I just wanted to check.’
‘Hey, ask anything you want’ Ruby said. She meant it. This stranger had quality to her that made Ruby want to be an open book. She wanted Emily to thumb her pages, run a finger down her spine, maybe bookmark a few pages that were of particular interest. She just hoped she’d be the kind of book Emily might want to read to the end, that she wouldn’t become bored before the first chapter was even done.
‘OK’ Emily said seriously. ‘Why are you talking to me right now?’
‘Huh?’ Ruby asked, thrown.
‘I mean, you came in here, sat down and saw me, had a go at me and then asked me to have a drink with you. Why?’
When Ruby had told Emily to ask her anything, she thought she might ask about siblings, hopes and dreams, other assorted getting-to-know-you bullshit. But she was getting down to brass tacks, it seemed. Ruby kind of liked it. Still, she didn’t want to seem like some horn dog who was trying to get into Emily’s pants (though that was at the back of her mind), so she tried to spin her answer to a less salacious version. ‘I thought you looked interesting.’
‘Interesting? What does that mean?’
‘I guess I looked at you and I thought you looked like a person I’d want to talk to.’
‘Oh’ Emily said. She looked disappointed in the answer.
‘Is there something wrong with that?’
Emily shrugged. ‘No.
Of course not.’
Ruby had stumbled here somewhere. But what had tripped her up?
Five
The nature of Ruby’s misstep was quite simple. Emily was chatting to quite possibly one of the most gorgeous women that had ever spoken to her and she was quickly intrigued, not just with her looks, but with her general way. Emily had an idea that despite the fact that Ruby feigned boredom with the world, there was a lot more underneath. She wanted to know what it was. And not platonically. She was hoping for something else. She’d begun to believe that just this once, it was going to be easy. She was going to be seduced by a sexy stranger in a strange land. It all seemed possible.
But then she had to go and blow up her dreams by asking questions, didn’t she? She had to fish. She couldn’t have just enjoyed the fantasy, stretching it out ‘til the last possible moment. She had to bring up the deadline on shattered dreams. Ruby was looking for a drinking buddy and nothing else. She was wasting time with Emily before she ran off to find something - or someone - else to do.
Once Emily realised that, she didn’t really know what to do with herself. She should have been used to disappointment by now. After all, only yesterday she’d been disappointed in a much larger manner by a person who’d made real promises. Promises that were supposed to last a lifetime. And here Emily had known Ruby a few minutes. But she was still gutted to get the rejection. Perhaps it was just that it was the latest in a long line of dissatisfactions. Was this just life? Anything you wanted would dance at the reach of your fingertips, only to disappear when you tried to touch it? Staring down into her gin, Emily felt herself slipping down into a wretched ennui.
‘Hey, did I say something wrong?’ Ruby asked.
Emily was surprised out of her reverie. ‘No, of course not.’
‘Really? Because from a professional actress to an amateur, your poker face could do with some work.’
Emily blinked. This was surprising news. Katie had never seemed to notice when she was down. She had assumed that was because she was pushing it down. Until Ruby saw through it in ten seconds flat. ‘Fine. I suppose I… This is actually quite embarrassing, but I was hoping… I thought maybe… We… You and I, that is, might…’
Ruby watched her stutter for a moment and then put down her beer, leaning over and putting a finger underneath Emily’s chin, gently tilting her head and drawing in to kiss her. It was a soft and brief brush of the lips, but Emily’s eyes automatically slipped shut for the duration. When she opened them a moment later, Ruby leant back to look at her, a playful smile on those delicious lips. ‘You were hoping for something like that?’
Emily looked down and grinned. ‘I suppose so, yes.’
‘Good. Me too. So we can stop worrying about it now?’
Emily managed to drag her eyes up to meet Ruby’s and she stared into those green pools for a second, hypnotised. And everything was possible again. As simple as that.
‘Do you know how to play blackjack?’ she asked Ruby.
Ruby raised an eyebrow. ‘What?’
‘I mean, I’ve never done it before but I’m here in a casino and I was thinking I might like to learn.’
Ruby paused. ‘I really can’t figure out what you’re going to say next, you know that?’
‘Are you saying I’m unpredictable?’ Emily asked.
‘Very’ Ruby said.
Emily grinned from ear to ear and stood, grabbing Ruby by the hand. ‘Come on.’
Ruby let herself be dragged. They went over to a booth where they exchanged cash for chips and then they wandered.
They landed at a blackjack table where a waist-coated croupier dealt them in. Emily picked up her cards. An ace and a jack. She showed her cards to Ruby. ‘Is this a good hand? I don’t have a clue.’
Ruby did a double take and then leaned in to Emily. ‘Say stand and bet everything.’
‘You’re sure?’
Ruby nodded and Emily took it on faith that Ruby knew what she was on about. She put her cards down, looked at her chips - two hundred pounds worth, which was all the spending money she had for the next two days – and said ‘Stand.’
‘Place your bets.’
Emily pushed her pile across the table with some anxiety.
The croupier turned his own cards to find he had a ten and a king. He said, ‘Dealer stands.’
He reached over and flipped Emily’s cards. ‘We have a blackjack’ he said neutrally and raked back Emily’s chip pile, now doubled.
For a second, Emily didn’t realise she’d won, it had all happened so fast. When it hit her, she cried, ‘Shit! I won!’
Ruby laughed beside her. ‘You wanna go again?’
‘No chance!’ She grabbed her pile of chips and turned from the table. ‘Come on, I’m cashing up.’
‘That’s it? You’re done with gambling already?’ Ruby asked, astonished.
‘If I go again, I’ll lose it.’
‘Not an optimist, are you?’ Ruby asked.
‘I’m trying not to ruin my winner’s high. I mean, what are the odds that would happen again? I don’t actually even know why I won. The man gave me two cards, you said bet high and then it was over.’
‘Did you want me to explain the game?’ Ruby asked.
‘Actually, no. I like it better this way. Has more mystery.’
‘So what now?’ Ruby asked.
‘You tell me? It’s your turn.’
‘My turn?’ Ruby asked with a raised eyebrow.
‘Yeah. If we’re… I mean if we’re hanging out’ Emily said, suddenly realising she was being rather presumptuous. ‘I mean, unless you had other plans?’
Ruby smiled with one side of her mouth. ‘I do now.’
Emily smiled back in relief. ‘Alright. So what now?’
‘I’m hungry. How about you?’
‘I could eat.’
‘Then that’s first. We eat. Something fried.’
‘And then?’
Ruby shrugged. She looked in no hurry to decide anything. ‘I guess we’ll see.’
Six
After food that was indeed very fried, Ruby and Emily decided to leave the hotel to see what else was on the strip. They’d found themselves in front of a ‘Gentlemen’s club’ and in a move that shocked Ruby, Emily had suggested going in.
Ruby had been to a strip club once or twice before, they weren’t really her thing. But Emily seemed keen to do it, explaining she’d never dared before. Ruby had an idea that Emily was going through some mysterious thing in her life, that she was looking to break her cherry on a few experiences, break out of her shell. So she agreed with enthusiasm.
In the club, they watched the ladies dance for a while. They slipped a few dollars into some G-strings, just to get the authentic experience. But soon enough, Ruby was bored.
‘You enjoying this?’ she asked Emily.
Emily turned to her. ‘It’s alright. But honestly, I think I’d rather talk to you.’
Ruby smiled slowly and then gestured to a waitress. ‘Can we get a private room?’
‘You want a dance?’ the waitress asked.
‘No, just the room.’
The waitress looked from Ruby to Emily. ‘It’s not cheap. If you want some privacy, you’re better off getting a hotel room.’
‘Just give us the room’ Ruby said, pulling out her credit card.
‘Alright. You want drinks?’
‘Yeah. Champagne’ she said and turned to Emily. ‘That cool?’
Emily gave the dorkiest thumbs up and Ruby couldn’t wait to get her alone.
In the small room - red velour and dim lighting - they talked, they drank. Ruby found herself talking about the thing with the movie, her mother’s plans for world domination. Emily was interested. But Ruby didn’t want to get too deep into all that. She was having fun for a change; her life would only ruin it. So she turned it around, asking Emily something she’d been curious about since they met. ‘So what are you doing in Vegas by yourself?’
‘Just, yo
u know, taking a break’ Emily said, quickly sipping her champagne.
Ruby smelled something juicy right away. ‘Really. Vegas your go to, is it?’
‘Since you had to hold my hand through blackjack, I’m sure you know it’s not’ Emily said, a touch defensively.
‘I thought we were talking’ Ruby said, hands in the air in surrender.