by Natasha West
‘That’s not what I wanted to talk about’ Denise said shortly.
‘No?’
‘No.’
Denise went silent again, regarding Emily. When Emily couldn’t take it any longer, she said, ‘Look, I’m doing my best but you know, I’m not used to being around people like you. And Barry Curtis. So if I mucked up at that dinner, I’m sorry-’
Denise put a hand up, silencing Emily. ‘This is not about that. Though lord knows, you were dead fucking weight at that dinner. No, this is about you screwing me by developing stupid emotional shit for Ruby. For real.’
Emily’s mouth fell open. Her first instinct was to deny all. ‘Denise, I don’t know what you mean! I’m just doing what you told me.’
‘Save it. I saw how you looked at her the other night. I didn’t like it.’
‘I don’t know what you think you saw but I was just doing exactly what you told me to do’ Emily lied, badly.
‘No. You weren’t. You’re not that good an actor. That’s been made clear. That’s how I know that what I saw was real. And if you’re not careful, you’re going to screw Ruby’s career up with this thing.’
‘How?’ Emily asked, without thinking. So that was that, she’d admitted it.
Denise grimaced. ‘Do you know how easy it is to get dragged down by the wrong person?’
Emily decided not to answer that.
‘Ruby ever talk about her dad?’
Emily shook her head.
‘We dated through college and after we graduated, we got married, got jobs. But then he knocked me up. And he said that since I made more than him, if I wanted to keep working, he would raise our daughter. Called himself a ‘Stay-at-home-dad.’ But it was a lie, because he was still at home after she went to school and he never washed a dish, never picked up the vacuum. He’d always been lazy. I knew that when I met him, but back then it was a charming quirk of his personality. But then we were married and that can alter your view on things. Because what I could see then was that he was happy to sit on the couch while I worked to support him. Well, when Ruby turned fourteen, she wanted acting lessons. So I said maybe it might be time for him to go back to work, so Ruby could have a few extras? He said no, he’d been out of the workforce too long, no one would hire him. And you know what, I let that one go, though Christ knows, I knew it was an excuse. So I suggested we cut some expenses, so Ruby could get her classes. But he refused that too. Said we needed our cable package, the car, all the little extras; that they made a home. He tried to make me think she didn’t care that much about acting anyway, that she’d get bored of it in a month. But I knew. I knew my daughter had potential. Not like him. If he got off his ass, she could have the things she wanted. But he wouldn’t do it. I couldn’t have that. I couldn’t have my daughter missing out because her father is a lazy, selfish sonofabitch. I mean, I loved him, but sooner or later, you have to grow up and realise that love - it’s not always enough. So I made a decision. I set my sights on a promotion at the bank, a lot more money and I worked my ass off to get it, nights, weekends, I just about killed myself. You know why? Because I wanted the best for my daughter, and I was willing to make sacrifices for her. The day I got that job, I went and bought a bottle of champagne and I took it home. ‘What are we celebrating?’ he asked me. I told him I got the promotion, a lot more money and of course, he was overjoyed. He said, ‘Let’s pop the cork’ and I said, ‘Wait.’ He’s like, ‘For what?’ I said to him, ‘I want to wait for my decree nisi to come through. That’s the day I pop this sucker.’ He acted all confused, but I told him, he’s done, I’m divorcing him. He really didn’t have a clue why, telling me he’s a good dad, a good husband. But I was done listening to his bullshit. I kicked him out. And when that paperwork came through, I popped the cork with my daughter, who had everything she needed. Which included acting classes and a maid who did our laundry, washed the dishes, and had dinner on the table at seven every night.’ Denise finished there and sat back, satisfied. She waited to see her story’s effect on her audience.
Emily had listened to this tale with grim fascination. It was certainly a captivating insight into the Knight family. But Emily couldn’t see why Denise was telling her any of this. ‘That’s, I mean, that’s a really interesting story. But I don’t see how it relates to me’ she said, truly perplexed.
Denise smiled, bitterly. ‘Because I want you to understand two things, Emily. The first is the lengths I’ll go to to see that my daughter gets everything she wants. The second is that some people, you can love them all you want. But all they ever do is take you in the wrong direction. And that’s what you’d do.’
‘Who, me?’ Emily asked in astonishment. ‘Mrs Knight…’
‘I told you, it’s Ms.’
‘Ms Knight, I understand that maybe your opinion of me is not really that high…’
‘You’re surprised I don’t have much regard for some poor English girl that married my daughter drunk-’ Denise sneered.
‘But even if I was like your husband…’ Emily went on, determined to get her point out, despite how nerve wracking it was to argue with this hand grenade with a mouth. ‘… and I don’t really think I am, it wouldn’t matter. It doesn’t matter how I feel either. It doesn’t matter if I… It doesn’t matter if I’ve fallen for her’ she said, truly embarrassed to admit the truth for the first time out loud and to of all people, Denise. ‘Because your daughter doesn’t… She wouldn’t…’ Emily looked away. There was a limit to what she was willing to confess to today and being in unrequited love was the red line. ‘It’s just not going to be like that between us. We’re not going to be together.’
Denise raised an eyebrow and looked down at Emily in a way that made her wonder if she was about to be murdered in the back of an LA cab while light jazz played in the background. But Denise just looked at her, long and hard.
Emily couldn’t take any more murderous stares so she said, ‘Look, are we going to ride around in this car all day or can I get out now?’
‘I’ll drop you back home. Right after you swear to me that there’s nothing going on between you two.’
Immediately, a blush crept up Emily’s neck. Because something had happened. Maybe not everything Denise was talking about. But something, alright. ‘No, nothing’ Emily muttered.
But Denise had clearly seen the pink colour rising on Emily, her back going rigid as she exclaimed, ‘Oh, fuck me. You’ve got to be kidding! You two are doing it?!’ The driver half turned but quickly set his eyes back on the road. Denise was enraged. ‘That wasn’t part of the deal, Emily. I did not buy my daughter a concubine. I thought I made that clear. I don’t give a shit what happened in Vegas. You were supposed to put on a show and nothing else.’
Emily was aghast. ‘I’m not a concubine!’
‘But you’re fucking, though, right?’ Denise pressed.
Emily didn’t like that word. She didn’t like it on an ordinary day, but used to describe what had happened with Ruby, she liked it even less. It made her angry and with the anger came a little bravery. ‘First off, it was once, ‘Fuck’ in the singular. Your plural is inaccurate. If you’re going to be vulgar, be grammatically correct’ she sniped. ‘Secondly, what has happened between me and Ruby, outside of our terms of agreement, is really none of your business.’
Denise was incensed. ‘It’s very much my business if you start distracting Ruby from the finish line. When?’
‘When what?’
‘When did it happen?’ Denise commanded.
‘Denise, this is so completely inappropriate I can’t even-’
‘You tell me, or I drive you to the airport now and put you on a plane. You get nothing’ Denise said coolly.
Emily was tempted to call her bluff. The problem was, she really couldn’t be sure it was a bluff. From what she knew of Denise, she wasn’t someone to play chicken with. And the idea of being thrown back across the ocean right now scared her. And not because of the money. She wasn’t ready for this to be
over. Not yet. ‘Fine. It was last night.’
Denise nodded. ‘Right. So when you say it was once, you don’t actually know that. You haven’t had a chance to reset. So what’s to say it won’t happen tonight too?’
‘Because we agreed’ Emily admitted. ‘Alright? Ruby wanted an assurance and I gave it to her. I told her it was a one-time thing. So can you just calm down?’
Denise did appear to relax a little, her rigid spine deflating. She leaned over to the driver. ‘You can take us back now.’
‘Alright then’ he said and turned at an intersection. Relief flooded through Emily. This was almost over.
‘OK, we’re going back to Ruby’s’ Denise said. Emily nodded, trying not to seem too happy. But then Denise said, ‘Pack your bag. I’ll be waiting.’
‘What?’ Emily almost shouted. ‘You’re really going to do it? You’re going to put me on a flight? You know you’re not immigration, don’t you? You can’t just deport me at will-’
‘Relax’ Denise said. ‘I’m not deporting anyone. But it’s clear to me now that letting you two rattle around that tiny apartment together was always going to be a bad idea. You’re gonna come stay with me.’
Emily’s mouth swung wide open. ‘Denise, I told you. We agreed-’
‘Come on, Emily, I’m not stupid.’
‘I was never under the impression that you were.’
‘Good, then you’ll know that I’m not one to miss a snake in my garden.’
Emily’s left eyebrow went up a full centimetre. ‘I’m a what?’
‘You’ve got a payday coming, sure. But maybe you’re thinking it’s small fry compared to what you could get if you stuck around?’
Emily took a second to piece that one together. She started to laugh, saying ‘Hang on a minute, I’m struggling to keep up. A minute ago, I was a love-struck loser and now I’m, what, a heartless gold-digger?’
‘I didn’t use that term. I’m not saying you don’t feel all that gooey shit. What I’m saying is, you married an actress with a career and the potential to blow up. Maybe that was an accident, maybe it wasn’t. But you know what? Gold-diggers? Sometimes they really love those sugar daddies and mommies, you know what I’m saying? You can fall in love with anyone in the world. But the smart person chooses that person carefully.’ She stopped and adopted what, for Denise, was a gentler tone. ‘I know you care for her, Emily. I can see it.’ The tone re-hardened. ‘But that doesn’t preclude you from being a train wreck that will take Ruby down.’
‘Train wreck?’ Emily repeated, the word so far from her own definition of herself it was preposterous.
But Denise wasn’t listening. She was revising her scheme. ‘Point is, I’m not leaving anything to chance. The only time you’ll see Ruby now is on a schedule, under supervision. You’ve still got a job to do and I’ll honour our terms. I’m just gonna have to start micromanaging things a little.’
‘I thought you said we should live together so it looked legitimate’ Emily exclaimed.
‘I said that when I didn’t know you couldn’t keep it in your pants’ Denise said with a horrid smile as the car pulled up, right back in front of Ruby’s place. ‘Now be a good girl, go get your bag so we can get you your pay check. Okay?’
Emily hesitated. She was in a bind. Should she refuse these revised terms, demand some respect, fight to stay near Ruby? She couldn’t see that going her way. She was pretty sure if she made a fuss, she’d be out on her arse, the deal cancelled, a one-way ticket back to Oxford booked post-haste. She’d be even further away from Ruby then. So she was left with one option. Do as she was told.
‘Fine’ she said and climbed out of the cab. She leaned down to the window and added, ‘But what am I supposed to tell Ruby?’
‘Don’t tell her anything. I’ll talk to her.’
‘What are you going to say?’ Emily asked, suddenly panicked. She realised that Denise could tell Ruby the truth. That Emily was a lovestruck idiot who’d played a game of make-believe and forgotten the rules.
‘Don’t worry, honey. I’ll keep your secret’ Denise said. It almost sounded kind. ‘Now, go.’
Emily turned from the car, going in to Ruby’s apartment. Ruby was apparently still asleep, and Emily didn’t know whether to be happy or disappointed about that. But she knew one thing. Denise had her by the throat. Whatever she did, she would lose. Either the money or Ruby. And since she didn’t really have Ruby anyway, she’d just have to go ahead and finish this thing and take her money, go home with her tail between her legs and her heart broken, for the second time in weeks.
Twenty-Four
Emily wasn’t there when Ruby poked her head out of her room late the next morning. She wasn’t due on set ‘til the afternoon, though she’d been awake for hours. But she hadn’t dared to come out of her room, unsure what she would find. Turned out, nothing.
She showered, got ready and left for work, wondering where Emily was right this moment, what she was doing, what she was thinking. But it was a stupid train of thought that led off a broken bridge, so she did her best to shut it down.
***
On the set, things felt simpler. This was Ruby’s world and she knew where she was. She knew Rock would be a diva. She knew the director would do his best to keep him level. She knew the producer would be nowhere to be seen. She knew to avoid anything from catering with beef in it.
The day began as it always did - with Ruby sat in make-up - when Rock waltzed in. ‘Ruby’ he said with fake warmth. Ruby had to marvel at him, he was such a bad actor, he wasn’t even good at pretending to like her.
‘Hi Rock’ Ruby said neutrally.
‘You seen the pages for today?’ he asked as a second make-up artist attended him. ‘We’re gonna lock lips this afternoon.’
‘Yeah, I know’ Ruby said, trying to keep still for the make-up artist. ‘I guess I’ll just close my eyes and think of my wife’ she said, only partly joking.
Rock guffawed. ‘Ha, yeah. Maybe I’ll do the same. Think of your wife too.’
The make-up artist had the sense to withdraw her eyebrow pencil away so that when Ruby turned in anger, she didn’t lose an eye. ‘Not cool’ Ruby told Rock.
‘Jesus, it was a joke’ Rock said with a fake laugh as his make-up artist applied foundation by the bucket. Rock’s skin wasn’t great. ‘Getting married has done nothing for your sense of humour, you know.’
‘Oh Rock’ Ruby smiled. ‘I’ll laugh until the end of time if you ever say anything funny. I promise.’
Rock and Ruby chuckled together bitterly. Ruby marvelled at how they towed this line every day, between complete resentment and professional conduct. But that was how it was with him and Ruby had no expectation of it changing. All she could do was walk the line until one of them got fired or the show was cancelled. Sometimes she yearned for that last option. Freedom from this ridiculous merry-go-round. Ruby turned back to the make-up artist and the pencil returned to her right eyebrow.
‘So you going to that thing on Friday night?’ Rock asked.
Ruby knew of the thing he meant. A party, in the hills. The usual blend of industry movers and shakers, actors, models, hangers on. Ruby hated those things. They were about as far from the definition of a party as you could get. She never had fun. She just stood about sipping water, waiting for it to be over. ‘Nope. Other plans.’
‘Really?’ Rock asked. ‘I thought you’d definitely be going to this one, taking the new missus, making a show of her for the big boys.’
‘I don’t know what you’re talking about, Rock’ Ruby said, but she didn’t like how suspicious he seemed of Emily. He wasn’t smart but he was cunning, and that was worse. Most people wouldn’t conjure the idea of a fake marriage. But Rock, with his abundance of ambition and lack of talent, his mind would most definitely conceive of it. She could feel him, trying to sniff his way to it. ‘Anyway, I’m not going to the party.’
‘But you’re up for that big part, aren’t you?’
‘What
does that have to do with it?’ Ruby asked.
‘Rumour has it that Barry Curtis might show up.’
Ruby shrugged. ‘I’m not going to a party just to kiss his ass.’
‘You better hope no one else does then.’
‘Why the hell are you trying to encourage this, Rock?’ Ruby asked.
Rock feigned hurt. ‘Because you’re my co-star. What’s good for you is good for me.’
‘Sure’ Ruby said. But she wondered what the hell he was up to. She didn’t buy his magnanimous bullshit for a single second.
***
On the way to the set, her mother called. As ever, Ruby gave serious thought to not picking up. But in the end, she took the call. ‘Mommy dearest!’ she exclaimed, an old joke. Denise had never really appreciated it and today was no different.