Even though he knows he’s already won, Lopaka is filled to the brim with nervous energy. What if I’m not the winner? What if at the last minute they chose to go with someone else? You just never know in Hollywood. I don’t actually have the money yet. They said they would wire my bank account as soon as I was publicly announced as the winner.
With the entire club silent and everyone holding onto each other, the host begins her final speech. “The winner of America’s Next Top Drag Queen and the winner of ten thousand dollars is…” The TV show pauses for dramatic effect and the entire crowd does an almost synchronized inhale.
Things start to move in slow-motion for Lopaka as he looks around the room. He looks at the hundreds of guests that are packed in Violet just to see him. He looks at his brother, Kaleo, who is serving drinks to a long line of people. He looks down at his hands with purple fingernail polish and also at his beautifully beaded dress with a small butterfly pin just over his heart. Finally, he looks at the door to Robin’s office. I hope you’re proud of me, Daddy.
“…Jenna Talia!” The host announces on the big screen waking Lopaka up out of his little trance and bringing him back to the present moment. The entire crowd erupts with cheers. Applause, shouts and screams of praise fill the entire room. I did it. I actually won!
Lopaka starts to cry tears of joy. He steps forward and waves to the large group of fans cheering for him.
As he starts to walk toward the audience, someone from behind taps him on his shoulder. He turns around and sees Chyna standing there with a large rope pikake lei. She smiles, leis him with the beautiful fragrant lei and hugs him tight.
“I’m so proud of you, babe,” she whispers in Lopaka’s ear. She finishes her hug and looks him straight in his eyes, “This is just the beginning for you.” With a mic in one of her hands, Chyna steps to the front of the stage and starts to MC. “Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you, the newest winner of America’s Next Top Drag Queen, your Hawaii girl and Violet’s very own… Miss Jenna Talia!”
The crowd erupts once again and a chant soon begins, “JEN-NA! JEN-NA! JEN-NA!” Lopaka steps next to Chyna and waves to the audience. Someone in the audience yells “SPEECH!”
“Yes, yes! Do you have any words for us?” Chyna hands the mic to Lopaka and takes a step back.
Lopaka exhales. He puts the mic to his mouth, but before he can say any words, he chokes up and gets teary-eyed. He puts the mic back down and puts his free hand over his heart. The audience cheers louder to encourage him.
After a brief moment, he exhales again and puts the mic back to his mouth. “Thank you so much! Thank you! Can you believe it?!” The audience screams again. “First of all, this win would not have been possible without so many people… To my brothers, Kaleo and Malu, you are everything that I’m not… responsible, stable and you are the machine that keeps this club operating. Thank you for all that you are and all that you do.”
He looks over his shoulder at Chyna, “To you, Miss, sorry… MRS. Chyna Make Love, you are the glue that keeps, not only our little Violet family together, but this entire community together. Thank you for your leadership.
“To all my Hawaiians,” The crowd goes nuts, “We may be small in number, but we are the strongest at heart. This win is for all the Hawaiians, who have ever felt overlooked or have felt less than. It’s our time now, time to show the world who we are!
“And lastly,” Lopaka looks down at his butterfly pin, “this win is for Robin. Many of you were lucky enough to know her, I was lucky enough to call her ‘Dad.’ This win is for you! Thank you for everything you’ve done for all of us. We love you!”
Lopaka bows and takes a step back to signal that he is finished. He hands the mic to Chyna, who steps forward and takes over. “America’s Next Top Drag Queen everyone! Let’s give it up for her. Thank you, Jenna.” The audience continues to applaud.
“Ok, Jenna will be doing a meet and greet right here on this stage in about twenty minutes, so feel free to come and meet your local sistah, take a photo and buy one of her brand new T-shirts. At midnight, Jenna will be performing for the first time as your newly crowned winner, so don’t go anywhere! But for now, grab a drink from your favorite bartender, make a new friend and dance the night away! Hit it, DJ!”
The music starts and Lopaka heads directly to Kaleo at the front bar. Fans stop him along the way for selfies and to tell him how much they love him. Once to the bar, he gets Kaleo’s attention. “Excuse me! Excuse me! Bartender! Somebody spilled my shot. I need another one for free,” Lopaka jokes.
“Shut up, Lopaka. I mean, your highness.” Kaleo makes fun of his brother.
“It’s Jenna Talia, thank you very much. Don’t blow my cover,” Lopaka requests.
“Cover? Looks like you need a little more foundation to cover that stubble over there.” Kaleo starts to feel Lopaka’s cheek with his hand.
Lopaka slaps his brother’s hand away. “Shut up, Leo!”
“What do you want?” Kaleo tries to hurry his brother.
“Jeez, so rude,” Lopaka scoffs.
“Well, I’m busy. Look at how long my line is,” Kaleo asserts. Lopaka looks back at all the people waiting for a drink.
“Yeah, you’re welcome,” Lopaka insinuates that the club is only busy because of him and Kaleo rolls his eyes.
“Alexus, I need more ice!” Kaleo yells without looking. Alexus takes her turn at rolling her eyes behind Kaleo’s back.
“What is Alexus doing behind the bar?” Lopaka asks.
“She’s our new barback,” Kaleo informs.
“WHAT?!” Lopaka is shocked.
“Yup, all of the Fish y Chicks are. They gotta start contributing to this club too!” Kaleo reveals his first plan of action as a new part-owner of the club.
“Speaking of contributing… I wanted to give you this.” Lopaka reaches in his bra, pulls out a check and hands it to Kaleo.
“Ew. It’s damp,” Kaleo pinches the check with his thumb and index finger, trying not to touch anymore of it than he needs to.
“Just take a look at it, would you!” Lopaka yells. Kaleo takes a look at the check and his eyes widen. “I just checked, they wired the money into my bank account once I was announced as the winner.”
“Fifty thousand dollars?!” Kaleo questions. Lopaka stands smugly, knowing how happy his brother is about to be. “I thought it was supposed to be a hundred thousand?”
“So ungrateful! Give me that back!” Lopaka is fed up with his brother’s lack of gratitude and tries to grab the check back, but Kaleo retracts it.
“Nah, nah. Thank you, brother. For real,” Kaleo quickly shapes up.
“I did win a hundred thousand, but I gotta pay taxes on it. Everybody knows that,” Lopaka explains.
“This is really gonna help. You saved this club. Thank you, Paka and Congratulations!” Kaleo finally commends his brother and Lopaka smiles. “Now, get out of the way! You’re holding up my line!”
“God, you really are like Robin!” Lopaka proclaims.
Lopaka steps to the side and is immediately met up with his other brother, Malu.
“Paka!” Malu yells over the music to get his attention. He hugs his brother to congratulate him, “You did it! How does it feel?”
“Surreal,” Lopaka confesses, “and amazing!”
“Hey, Rowena and the girls are here. They wanted to congratulate you.” Malu looks back to make sure Rowena, Kaimana and Kehau were still following him. Waiting patiently behind him, Malu steps to the side and let’s his birth mother have a moment with his older brother.
“Hi Jenna!” Rowena laughs, “Congratulations! How exciting!” She leis him with a beautiful ginger lei and hugs him.
“We’ve been watching every week,” Kaimana admits.
“You really were the best,” Kehau assures.
“Thank you,” Lopaka graciously accepts the compliment. Kaimana and Kehau each give him a lei as well. “Hey, listen… I’m sorry for walking away at the funeral. It
was just a lot to process at one time and—”
“Don’t be,” Rowena stops him before he goes any further. “I walked away from you boys for your entire life, so you don’t owe me or anybody else an apology.” Lopaka nods in silence. “I just hope that maybe we can start anew.”
“I’d like that,” Lopaka affirms.
“We all would!” Malu jumps back into the conversation and puts his arms around Rowena and Lopaka.
“Oh God! Malu you smell like mildew!” Lopaka says with a sour face on.
“No I don’t.” Malu sniffs his armpits to make sure.
“Do you guys want to see where I get ready?” Lopaka offers Rowena and his two half-sisters.
“Sure!” The girls respond emphatically. Malu heads back outside and Lopaka starts escorting the girls to his dressing room giving them a tour of Violet on the way.
Near the restrooms, the Fish y Chicks congregate. As the new barbacks, they’ve been carrying buckets of ice back and forth to the bartenders wells, collecting dirty cups from the dance floor and washing those cups in the sink.
“Ugh, I no can believe I gotta touch all dese cups dat everybody’s mouths have been all ovah. So gross!” Arita Bitch expresses her disgust, in her pidgin accent.
“It’s so embarrassing,” Matt Makeup sides with his older brother.
“At least you guys aren’t behind the bar the whole time, where Hitler can see your every move,” Alexus Convertible implies that Kaleo is a dictator.
“I think it’s kind of fun actually,” Karmen Sense says with a smile. The other girls shoot her a sharp look.
“And the worst part of all is that we can’t be in drag!” Alexus pouts.
“Oh my God, is that Jamba Nay?!” Karmen says as she looks toward the entrance of the club.
“It is!” Arita yells. The girls run over to greet her!
“OH MY GOD! JAMBA!” The Fish y Chicks hug and jump up and down screaming.
“Jamba dis is my braddah, Matt. Matt, dis is Jamba,” Arita introduces. “Dis is who you replaced.”
“Ahh, so you’re the infamous Jamba Nay Transy,” Matt finally has a face to put to the name.
“That’s me! It’s nice to meet you.” Jamba and Matt kiss each other on the cheek.
“We held a drag competition once you left to find your replacement,” Alexus informs.
“Yeah, I heard,” Jamba reveals. “But there’s no replacing Jamba Nay, Honey!” She jokes, but is mostly serious.
“Wait, I thought you died and went to heaven?” Karmen says scratching her head.
“No Karmen, Haven. New Haven, Connecticut. My husband got restationed, remember?” Jamba reminds her Fish y Chick sister.
“Ooohhh!” Karmen doesn’t remember, but pretends she does.
“I see not much has changed,” Jamba hints that Karmen is still a clueless bimbo. “Wait, why aren’t you girls in drag?” The girls look at each other, but don’t say anything.
“Don’t ask,” Alexus asserts.
“Did you see dat Lopaka is doing drag now?” Arita questions her friend.
“Yeah and he just won ANTDQ! Ugh, I can’t believe it.” Alexus stomps her foot. She thought she was going to be the first queen from Hawaii on the show.
“HO HER GAWWD!” Jamba screams with disgust. Reunited, the Fish y Chicks gossip and chat, while completely ignoring their duties as barbacks.
Back at the front bar, Kaleo finally catches a break. He wipes the sweat from his forehead and takes a sip from his water bottle. He sees Parker finishing up with his last customer and heads over in his direction.
“Man, this is crazy, huh?” Kaleo expresses.
“Shit, you’re telling me! And it ain’t over yet,” Parker admits.
“Yeah, I know.” Kaleo pretends to be overwhelmed, but secretly loves the rush and the revenue that it’s bringing.
“I’m proud of you, Leo,” Parker delivers from out of the blue.
“For what?” Kaleo responds.
“You did it. You’re a club owner. I know that’s what you’ve always wanted,” Parker commends his best friend.
“Part-owner,” Kaleo clarifies. “But I kind of feel like I cheated, like I just got grandfathered into it.”
Parker shakes his head, “That doesn’t matter! I promise you no one is thinking that, except you. Be happy, man. Today is a day of celebration! In fact, we need to celebrate. You want a shot?”
“You know what…” Kaleo looks around the room at everyone drunk and dancing, “I’m actually good.” For the first time in possibly years, Kaleo has declined a shot. Parker looks over at his friend with a shocked look on his face and then nods his head in approval.
A split second later, Jimmy walks up to the bar from the left and Simone walks up from the right. Meeting in the middle and not noticing each other, they both say “Hey!” to Kaleo in unplanned unison
“Hi babe, I didn’t even see you walk in,” Kaleo greets his boyfriend first.
“I’m Chinese, I’m stealthy,” Jimmy jokes.
“Hi Simone. You look like you’re having a lot of fun out there,” Kaleo turns his attention to his best friend’s girlfriend.
“Yeah, I love it here. The music is so good!” Simone says, still bopping along to the beat. She’s been dancing with her friends for at least a good hour.
“Yeah, it’s a good playlist tonight!” Kaleo concurs. “Hey, have you two met?” He gets Simone and Jimmy to realize that they’re standing right next to each other.
“Oh Simone!” Jimmy says feeling dumb for not having noticed her. “Yeah, of course we have!”
“Oh my God! Jimmy! Sorry, I didn’t even know that was you!” Simone admits. The two friends hug and kiss each other hello.
“You want a shot?” Jimmy asks Simone.
“Sure!” Simone replies.
Jimmy looks back to his boyfriend on the other side of the bar, “Can I have two of the ‘gayest drinks you have,’ please?
“Oh, I’m not really drinking tonight, babe,” Kaleo responds.
“Who said they were for you?” Jimmy says sarcastically.
“Oooop!” Simone looks away, trying not to laugh.
“I like him!” Parker comes forward and shakes Jimmy’s hand over the counter. “What’s up Jimmy!”
“Sup Parker! I want to buy Simone a shot. Is that cool with you?” Jimmy asks Parker.
“Yeah, of course, man,” Parker replies.
Kaleo puts down two shot glasses and pours two shots of the finest whisky they have. “It’s on the house,” he informs.
“Aww, thanks babe.” Jimmy leans in and kisses Kaleo over the bar counter.
“GAY!” Beau shouts as he walks by and ruins the moment. A bunch of large, buff men in leather turn around and give him a death glare wanting to hurt him for making fun of someone for being homosexual. “I was joking, I was joking! I know them! I promise. Don’t hurt me!” Beau cowers and runs away.
“Cheers!” Jimmy holds up his shot glass to toast Simone.
“Cheers!” Simone clinks her glass to his and the two of them swallow the whisky in one fast gulp.
“Let’s go dance!” Simone pulls Jimmy to the dance floor without a choice. From the dance floor Jimmy looks back at Kaleo and shrugs his shoulders. He smiles at his boyfriend and then starts dancing with Simone.
“Looks like we got trouble on our hands, huh?” Parker says as he stands next to Kaleo. They watch their other halves dancing and having a great time together.
Kaleo’s focus goes from his boyfriend dancing with Simone to noticing how crowded and full Violet is. He glances over at the stage where Lopaka is signing autographs and taking photos. On the screen behind Lopaka, a projection of a big butterfly flaps its wings in time with the music.
Kaleo looks back at his best friend and smiles, “Looks like we finally finished what we started.”
Jared Paakaula is a hungry Hawaiian. He’s in a deep, intimate relationship with food... it's about compromise. Born in Honolulu, he grew up in
a mix of places on the island of O`ahu: Ewa Beach, Village Park and often Waianae. He is a part-time performer, a part-time recreational surfer and a part-time stepmom of two.
“On The Rocks” is his first novel.
IG: @jaredkainoa
On the Rocks Page 23