Unfortunately, Janet was the staff on shift and she’d just entered the hallway with her eyes glued to the same thing. Janet was one of those staff that worked here for the paycheck and had never actually had any interest in working with teens or making a difference. There were a couple of them here but thankfully, they didn’t work as many shifts as Jane and Jensen, who were full time. Janet was all about whatever made her workday easiest and that didn’t always include finding out all of the details. When Janet “handled” a situation it was like putting a Band-Aid on a bullet hole and anything that interrupted her, and her reality television tended to piss her off.
“Hands on, Meghan. You know that’s Risk. Collect your electronics and bring them to the garage. Kendra, let’s go clean you up,” she said as if she couldn’t have been more bored by the situation. I stood there, angry with myself as much as with Kendra. Risk was the name of the consequence we got when we put hands on, or hit, another resident. It meant that for seven days, I could have no electronics, couldn’t go on any paid outings, such as the movies, and worst of all, my passes were pulled. A pass was when you left the facility to visit family members or approved persons for overnight duration. I was scheduled to go on pass with Kodi and his family in less than an hour because I was supposed to go through the Change tonight. Now Janet was going to call Jack and Trina to tell them that I’d lost my temper for a split-second and basically screwed myself over. I’d be stuck at the group home while I attempted to survive a painful transformation. What in the hell was I supposed to do now?
My anxiety started to kick up and I began to panic. I was going to expose the secret of the werewolves to the group home. I was going to ruin lives, the lives of those that had come to mean more to me than anyone. What could I do? The only thing that I could think of was going AWOL. Unauthorized absence would mean another seven days of Risk but when I pictured the alternative, it was a small price to pay. Most residents that went AWOL did so at night because it was harder to be seen and therefore, caught. That wasn’t an option for me. With nightfall came the full moon. I had under four hours to get to Kodi’s house, or at least get to the woods.
Three hours later I was lying on my bed curled into a ball with my arms wrapped around my stomach. Nausea rolled through my gut and I fought to keep down what little food I had eaten. Cramps and chills were taking me over and I knew that it was only going to get worse the closer it got to moonrise. If I tried to leave now, while it was still daylight, someone would see me sweating, hunched over in pain, and there would be questions. The only thing I could think to do was wait until it got dark and hope I would have enough time to get far enough away before the Change overtook me. Janet took my cell phone as part of the Risk, so I had no way to call Kodi for help.
Twenty more minutes passed and the pain coursing through my body had intensified. I still felt like I needed to vomit but I think that was also because of the pain. My blood was on fire, my bones screamed, my insides cramped and even my eyes burned inside of my skull. I couldn’t help it. I turned my face hard into my pillow and let out a groan of pain that I had been trying to hold back. Sarah entered the room and closed the door quietly behind her. Thankfully, she kept the lights off so that the only like was the blue glow of Sarah’s stereo. She knelt by my bed and handed me a glass.
“It’s ice water. I don’t know what’s wrong with you, but I think you should drink it,” she said softly. “Should I go get Janet?”
“No! Please, don’t,” I gasped out.
“Okay, it’s okay. I won’t tell anyone,” she said quickly and rubbed a cautious hand down my back in a move I knew she’d meant to be comforting.
“What can I do?” she asked with worry in her voice. She sounded about as helpless as I felt.
“I don’t know,” I said gritted teeth and I sent another cry of pain into the cotton of my pillow and this time I left tearstains on the white pillowcase. Didn’t surprise me. Even when Simone had bitten through my shoulder it wasn’t this painful, and that pain had made me pass out. With how fast and hard my heart was slamming in my chest, I doubted that the adrenaline would allow losing consciousness to be an option. I was more grateful than I could currently express to Sarah that she wanted to help but I really didn’t know what to do and it was really hard to think at all through this haze of agony. Sarah. Sarah has a cell phone. She’d run out of minutes until she gets her next allowance, but she was still able to text until the end of the month.
“Your phone. I need you to text someone for me,” I managed to gasp out before my body was rocked with a tremor that nearly lifted me off the bed. She stood and fumbled in her pocket a moment before coming out with a white cell phone. I heard the click of her unlocking the screen and she asked me for the number. I gave it to her before being assaulted by another shudder. The burning was getting worse and my skin felt so hot that my sweat felt freezing cold.
“What do you want me to say?” she asked frantically while still trying to keep her voice down.
“T-tell him that it’s me. That I’m sorry.” I didn’t know what else to say. I was about to ruin everything for him and his family. The others also. Stephen and his father, Ed and Renee and their daughter Nancy. Even more. This was all my fault. Almost immediately after she was done typing her phone vibrated audibly and she got a confused look on her face.
“What does it say?” I made out between coughs. I was beginning to doubt that I was going to see tomorrow morning.
“It says he’s here.”
There was a loud crack at the window directly above where I currently lay. Sarah leaned over me to throw the curtains apart and she gasped when the window slid open and suddenly Kodi was just there, crouching over me with his feet placed on either side of me. Sarah moved to the desk in the corner of the room, pulled the chair out, and lodged the back of it under the bedroom door handle. I really needed to get that girl a present.
Kodi jumped from his crouch onto the floor and leaned over me. He stroked my face and I gave another shudder, but it was one of pain, not from his touch. All I could do was look helplessly up at him while tears continued to stream down my face and I was too afraid to say anything because I had a feeling that if I opened my mouth at all, only screams would erupt.
“I’m here, Meghan. I’m here,” he said softly before laying a soft kiss to my brow. I couldn’t see him very well through my tears but when I saw him move to go back through the window, I cried out involuntarily. He looked back and grasped the hand I hadn’t known I’d reached out to him.
“I’m not leaving you, I promise.”
I released his hand at the same time that the door handle began to turn. When the door refused to budge open, Janet’s voice sounded from the other side of the door.
“Sarah and Meghan, open this door right now!” she yelled.
My attention snapped to the door and in the next moment I was hoisted off of my bed and was suddenly in Kodi’s arms outside. He’d pulled me through the window and as I looked around in my pain-filled daze, I could see that full nightfall was only minutes away. Kodi leaned into the still-open window.
“Thank you,” he said and there was no doubt that he’d meant it.
“No problem. Just take good care of her,” she said in a low voice.
“I’ll do my best,” and with that, he didn’t wait for a reply but took off running while I writhed in pain cradled in his strong arms.
“You girls better not be smoking in there!” I heard Janet yell from a distance.
The shaking motion that was caused by Kodi running with me made my muscles protest even more and I couldn’t help the cry I let out. I tried to see where we were going to distract myself as much as possible and down the darkened street, I could vaguely make out a pair of taillights. As we got closer, I saw that it was Jack’s green Ford and Kodi didn’t even bother opening the tailgate but lifted me over and sat me down gently before hopping effortlessly into the back with me. He gave two quick slaps to the back of the cab and sudden
ly, we were moving.
The cool wind whipping past me felt nice on my burning skin but the movement of the vehicle making turns didn’t help me at all. I looked up into the sky and there it was. A big beautiful orb that was currently the bane of my existence. The moon glowed strongly as it rose, and I was assaulted by the worst wave of pain I could ever have imagined. It rocked my body and I screamed so loud I was sure the moon itself had heard me. Suddenly something was in my mouth, probably offered to bite down onto and muffle the scream, but I was grateful that my teeth had somewhere to go.
The wave finally passed, and I flopped back down like a person does in the movies after they get shocked by hospital defibrillator paddles. I did my best to lie perfectly still because I wasn’t sure I could handle another wave. That was when I tasted blood.
Seventeen
Having had Stage Four stomach cancer, I knew the taste of blood as well as I knew the taste of chocolate. That was when I realized it; Kodi had shoved his forearm in my mouth. When I’d bitten down, he hadn’t even flinched. I’d bitten through his arm like an animal, his blood was dripping onto my tongue and still, he didn’t pull his arm away. I, however, immediately unclenched my jaw and turned my head away from his arm just in time for another wave of agony to rack my bones. To prevent him from pulling that stunt again, I clenched my teeth together and kept my scream as low as possible. It ended up sounding more like a growl than an actual scream and I couldn’t help but wonder if it was really from me or the wolf coming through.
I knew I was going to hold on. It wasn’t the same as “refusing to fight” as Jane had called it when it had come to me refusing treatment for the cancer. In the end I would have ended up dead either way. This was agony was going to pass and another main difference was that this time, I had something to fight for. That something currently had me cradled across his lower body and held me tight as the old truck turned more corners.
“Kodi, get down, there’s a cop!” I heard and I believed it was Jack yelling out the driver’s side window. It was illegal in California to have persons sitting in the bed of a truck because there weren’t seat belts. Kodi scooted to lay down flat next to me, squeezing even harder. It was both comforting and painful and I didn’t know if I was willing to sacrifice his touch since I was in pain anyway.
“I’m here, Meghan. You’re going to be fine. I promise. I promise,” he said softly into my hair and I think it was meant to comfort him as much as me. My breathing was too labored to say anything in response, but I reached out and he must have known what I wanted because he wrapped my hand in his and gave it a squeeze. I wasn’t sure if it was because Kodi was distracting me or what but for a moment, the burning seemed to dull so that instead of feeling like I was on fire, it was more like my entire body was covered in that burning mentholated muscle cream. There was a moment where I thought it was finally ending, finally complete. I was wrong. So very wrong.
Breaking. My bones were literally breaking. I felt them snap, contort, contract. My body was shattering as I lay across Kodi’s lap and I was betting that this was the part, this was the reason that the bitten rarely survived the Change. Why there were so few Changed among the packs. No ordinary human could come back from this assault on the body. I almost wished my spine would snap so that then at least I’d be paralyzed and not have to feel the rest of my body getting torn apart by something that my mind couldn’t begin to comprehend.
Kodi loosened his arms around me and I believe it was to give my body room to convulse. Were my bones turning into those of a wolf? How much longer was I going to be in human form? I tried to focus on the questions themselves rather than the pain that was causing them. Opening my mouth, I tried to speak to Kodi but was only able to manage a cough. I was choking because liquid was coming out of my throat. Coughing again, this time into my hand, I held my hand up for me to see much like Kendra had with her bloody nose and found the same thing that she had. I was choking on my own blood. I knew enough to realize that that meant I had internal damage. I was dying. I turned over and rolled off of Kodi’s lap to give one big cough and spit a gob of blood onto the bed of the truck. My airway opened just enough for me to cry out as my spine and ribs cracked again and my hands gave out from under me. I slammed down flat onto the metal of the truck and wondered if the internal bleeding meant what I had feared. Perhaps Simone had been right. Maybe I wasn’t going to survive the Change. Maybe I’d never really stood a chance. Just as I teetered on the brink of defeat the truck screeched to a stop. Kodi screamed my name but I was already fading away. Everything blissfully went dark and I hoped that it wouldn’t be for the last time.
Eighteen
There were two possibilities: one, I was dreaming; or two, I was dead, and I really hoped it wasn’t the latter. I sat down on the log across from Maggie, her fire burning brightly between us, as usual. I waited for her to say something, but she just watched me, a sparkle in her eyes and a slight lilt at the side of her mouth that I wouldn’t quite call a smile.
“Am I dead?” I blurted. Best to rip the Band-Aid off and get it over with. Maggie continued to watch me and for a moment, I didn’t think she was going to answer. She seemed to do that a lot.
“Do you feel dead?” she asked and seemed genuinely curious. Did that mean she didn’t know if I was or not? I tried to think. How did I feel? When I thought about it, it did feel different than my other dreams with her. It felt like I wasn’t completely here, like part of me was somewhere else but I wasn’t sure where.
“I feel like I’m only half here. I’m not just sleeping, am I?” I asked dejectedly, for I knew the answer before she said anything.
“Very perceptive, lass. You’re somewhere between this world and the next. Which one you go to from here will be up to you,” she said cryptically. I took in her words as I looked at her. She’d added a dark blue shawl to her green dress and her mostly grey hair still had a few streaks of red left in it. Her emerald eyes sparkled from the flames of the fire and they looked so much like Kodi’s. Kodi. I was so close to being happy because of him.
“You don’t have to leave him.”
Returning my gaze to her without realizing that I’d been looking at the ground I said, “How do I do that?”
“You know.”
I hate when she did that. “Maggie, why do I dream of you?” I finally asked. That lilt of her lips turned into a smile, but she remained silent. Okay, not going to get an answer to that one.
“You’re wrong, I don’t know how to get back,” I said, getting tired of the games.
Her smile faded to a frown. “Are you so sure you want to go back?” she asked seriously, and it was my turn to frown.
“What is that supposed to mean?” I asked and couldn’t help but sound defensive.
She tiled her head and appeared to study me for a minute before replying, “You have fought bravely against two deaths that have come after you. Here you are again, fighting for your life and there is no doubt in my mind that should you return, it won’t be the last time. The life of a werewolf is by no means easy or risk-free.”
Her thought struck me at her last words.
“Maggie are you-were you a werewolf?” I didn’t know if it was past tense or not. I don’t know if she is even real, werewolf or not. Was she a ghost?
Maggie smiled. “Yes, to both questions.”
I started. “I only asked one question.”
“Aloud, perhaps. Yes, I was a werewolf. Yes, I am real but no longer living in your world,” she said, and her smile lessened. I’d forgotten that she often knew what I was thinking. Maggie was quite the wise old bird. I had a fondness for her much like I had for Jane and even though I’d only known her for a short time, it felt like I’d always known her.
Shaking myself from those thoughts, I focused on the task at hand. I took a step toward her and stopped. It felt like the closer that I got to Maggie, the more of me was here, and less in the other place. I struggled to make sense of what was happening. Was the other plac
e the real world? Where Kodi was? Or was that the “next life” as Maggie had said? Which one was which? I decided to ask.
“Maggie. Where is the rest of me?” I asked and I feared the answer. Before she responded, I felt something skim across my hand. Forgetting that I wasn’t really in the woods, I jerked and shook my hand, afraid that it might have been a spider crawling on me. I examined my hand using the light from the fire and found nothing, but I could still feel the sensation of something touching me. It took me a moment to realize that it felt like someone had just grabbed my hand to hold it.
“Maggie is that-?”
“Your young man? That it is, girly.”
I looked back down at my hand. “Kodi?” I asked so quietly that it might have only been for my own years. If I was correct, I think I was starting to understand what Maggie had been trying to tell me. I could wake up in pain and live through the trials and tribulations of being a werewolf, or I could let it all go. No more pain, no more fighting. No more Kodi. Well I didn’t come this far to give up Kodi or myself. As far as I was concerned, this decision was a no-brainer. As if Kodi knew what was going on in my head, I felt the softest touch against my cheek, and I think it was Kodi’s lips. I looked at Maggie.
“I’m going back.”
Maggie smiled. “Never had a doubt, lass.” She had said that I already knew how to return to myself so all I needed to do was figure out what I already knew. Easier said than done. If walking toward Maggie caused me to pull away from the other place, where I believed Kodi to be, then the opposite must be true. I gave a nod to Maggie and she did the same. The small gesture said more than words ever could. I turned and walked toward the darkness of the woods and away from the fire. I felt like my body was getting warmer. Feeling less cold, less separated the further I ventured.
High School Bites Page 16