“Indeed, it’s up to you what you do next, dude,” Kyle sounds like my conscience. “Just, be smart this time.”
Be smart. I laugh at his advice.
What do I need to convince her I’m not the guy she left?
I swallow hard, pulling out of the parking spot. What happens next is up to me, but also up to her. Things between us ended. But the attraction between us is still there. That magnetic pull between us. The trick might be reminding her of our love while showing her that I’ve changed.
“She’s calling when they make a decision,” I inform Kyle. “I’m heading to the property in Embarcadero. Call me when you hear from her.”
“You two should sit down and talk about what happened. Fix your situation.”
“We don’t have a situation,” I remind him. “It’s been over for years.”
“Has it?”
Who am I kidding? Everything between us remains fresh, raw. Seeing her opened the wounds of our past. The pain is right on the surface throbbing with my heart. All the memories of us flooded my mind. After seeing her, I almost drown as the love I still feel for her rushed back. I’m desperate to have her in my arms.
Her presence proved that I never stopped. That if it’s possible, I love her even more than I did when we signed the divorce. I just didn’t admit it to anyone or myself. But I missed her more than I’d miss a limb. She’s an extension of me.
I remember the first time I told her I wanted to marry her as if it were yesterday.
I sat on the beach staring at the dark ocean, watching Hazel as she whispered into the breeze. Her eyelids fluttering closed. Her arms extended to the sides. She’s becoming one with the vast body of water. Scrunching her toes, feeling the sand and waiting for the next wave to hit her feet. The moon shines. The emitted streaks of beautiful white light soaking Hazel’s body with a magical light. She’s the prettiest girl I had ever known. My best friend, confident, and nightly companion. My girl. We understood each other. She had a smart mouth and loved to stay up to read while listening to music, in the company of the moon and the ocean.
And best of all, she loved me. Our love was bigger than the universe.
She sighed.
“What’s going on, Hazel Bee?”
“My parents are leaving town.” Her arms fell to the sides, her figure slumped. Of course, it’s her parents, the only ones who ever made her sad.
“They are gone for the entire year. There’s no Willow to take care of the sixteen-year-old child.” She pointed at herself as she mentioned her older sister who flew to New York last year right after graduation without thinking about Hazel.
Selfish fuckers. Suddenly, my pulse speeds up, my hands become sweaty. “What’s going to happen to you?”
She turned around, touching the back of her neck as her eyes narrowed into the bag of snacks I brought for us. “Doritos?”
I nod, smiling as I reach inside the sack and grab a pint of ice cream, and two spoons.
“How did you know I needed ice cream?”
“The same way I know you love me. I just know, Bee.” I placed the snacks by my side, extending my hand to her. As our hands touched, I grasped hers and pulled her to me.
Swallowing my fears, I asked with a calm voice, “Are they sending you to your grandfather’s house?”
Her eyes found mine, her smile increased. “Nah. I’m an independent person who can make her own choices—Mom’s words.” She rested her head on my chest. “It still hurts, though, that they don’t care.”
“So, we have the house to ourselves?” She laughed at my question.
That melodic sound hypnotizes me and makes my body vibrate. I pulled her into my lap. Kiss her deeply, long and slow, wanting more but still waiting for the right time.
I kissed her cheek. “We’ll be together forever.”
Chapter Seven
“Love isn’t easy, if you don’t think is worth fighting for, then it’s not real love.” ― Charlotte Everhart
Scott
It’s time to get back to the hotel. Fitz and I have been helping Hazel set up her apartment. Installing the sound system was the last thing on her list, and I’m almost done. But I don’t want this day to end. Not yet.
I don’t want to leave her.
I want to bask in the light of the infectiously cute smile she wears everywhere she goes.
I want to stay with her for the rest of the night.
Forever—if she allows it.
Hazel Beesley has been warming my cold soul since the moment I met her. She isn’t like any women I’ve come across. I met her the summer she came to live with her grandfather.
Everything about Hazel captured my heart from the beginning. Her big eyes, long braids, wicked smile and a smart mouth. Her luscious, full lips. The eagerness to learn and help people. Behind the professional hard shell she shows to the world, there’s a smart, sensitive, caring woman. She adores her family and helps everyone around her.
My relationship with her has been by stages. The big crush happened when I met her. Slowly, I fell in love with her, and one day, we kissed. In that instant, her air became mine, and my soul was branded with her name. Her presence calms the demons inside my head. She knows most of my secrets and my fears. Hazel held my hand while we face my most significant challenges.
My phone buzzes. It’s a text from Harrison, my oldest brother.
Harrison: Where are you?
Scott: San Francisco.
Harrison: Why am I not surprised? Are you and Hazel getting back together?
I snort. That’s the plan, but there’s a complication.
Scott: I’m working on it.
Harrison: If I could, I’d talk some reason into her, but … you fucked up, and I can’t help you.
No one can help me. I let out a long, frustrated breath. Harrison is her best friend. They are so similar. According to him, I have a hefty price to pay before she forgives me. Then, I must grovel, and maybe we will salvage something. At least, that’s what he said after Christmas.
Scott: It’s back to square one. I have to remind her how great we are together.
Harrison: That puzzles me. That the two of you fit just right. You are so different. And yet, you stayed together for a long time.
He’s right. On the surface, we don’t look compatible. However, deep down we fit perfectly. Like a key in its lock, I belong to her. It’s in the way she makes me feel. The yearning when she’s away. The joy I experience when she’s steps away from me. She holds the power in our relationship, not me.
Scott: I regret being a coward, and letting her slip out of my hands knowing that this day would come. The day she’d move back to San Francisco and see the boy she fell in love with since they were kids.
Harrison: Well, you better apply yourself before she sees him.
Jesus, I rub the back of my neck. What am I doing here?
Scott: This might be a lost battle. She already saw him.
Even when I might’ve lost, I’ll stay to show her that her future is with me. It’s time to show her how my heart beats for her. The odds are against me. I have nothing to lose and everything to fight for. And if I have to, I will keep fighting until the end. Because one day she has to realize that my love for her is infinite. One day she’ll finally see me as the man who loves her unconditionally, and hopefully, she’ll fall in love with me.
Harrison: You’re fucking with me, right?
Scott: I wish. He owns a construction company.
Harrison: Well … Don’t give up, I already told you twice. No one owns her. She just needs three little words. Which you can’t say now because you fucked up.
Scott: Well, for now, I’ll be the person she leans on while she’s searching for herself.
Harrison: If you had listened to me, you two would’ve joined Luna and me in paradise. We miss our traveling buddies.
Hazel and I traveled with Harrison and his wife, Luna, back when they started dating. They married and… I groan. I should’ve taken my relationship with
Hazel seriously from the beginning. There’s no point in rehashing the past though.
Scott: Save your lectures, call me when you’re heading to your next mission.
Harrison: Will do. I’ll check on Hazel later tonight.
I put away my phone and finish setting everything up. Then, I connect my phone to the wireless speakers to make sure it works. I set her favorite playlist, spotting a new addition. I press play and place her phone in the charging station. Then, turn around to make sure the apartment is set.
“Thank you for today,” Hazel says strolling outside her bedroom wearing a tank top and a pair of loose yoga pants. Her nipples are hard and my dick getting harder as I watch her.
She’s close enough for me to reach out to her, grab her, and slant my mouth against hers as I push her toward the bedroom. I’d pull down her pants and bury my face between her legs. After I’d fuck her all night making her come while she screams my name.
Calm down, Everhart. This isn’t the time to act like a horny fucker.
“My apartment looks half way descent thanks to you and Fitz, so bad he left too soon.” She looks around the living room and the dining room.
We only bought the essentials. She plans on decorating it more, but I hope that this is just a temporary place. That we can find a house, furnish it, and decorate it while we fix our relationship.
“He wanted to check-out from his hotel and move into my suite,” I remind her.
Fitz jumped at the chance of sharing my two-bedroom suite at the Ritz. I’m glad because I can make sure he finishes all the tasks he’s been ignoring since last week.
“I’m just glad they delivered the furniture today.” I sit on her black leather couch.
“Are we going to be searching for the coffee tables at antique stores?”
She smiles. “Perhaps we’ll go treasure hunting over the weekend. For now, I have the basics.”
“That’s what I wanted. I don’t like that you’re sleeping on the floor.”
“It’s not the first time I’ve used a sleeping bag,” she says, rolling her eyes at me, but smiling. “Thank you for making sure that I have a comfortable bed, though.”
“Anytime,” I shrug slightly.
“So, how long did you say you’ll be staying?”
“For as long as you want me.” I lean back in my seat, placing my left foot on my right knee and crossing my arms. “In fact, you said we’re moving here.”
“We?” Her eyes flick toward the sound station I set up, then at the window.
“You’re confusing me,” she says, closing her eyes.
I glance at her. My eyes scan her body. Studying her posture, her breathing. I stop right there as I spot her closed fists. Those delicate fingers drumming slowly against her palm. She’s counting, breathing, calming herself.
What are you thinking, baby? Are you okay?
The answer is no. She’s far from okay. I’ve seen her fight the darkness. One of her worse episodes was when her mother committed suicide. Hazel held herself together while we traveled to San Jose, Costa Rica. I was by her side while she recognized the body. She tried to talk some sense into her father who had told the authorities he had pushed his wife. He meant pushed her to go to a therapist. The police thought he meant from the window.
It was after she gave the news to Willow that their mother died when she lost her composure. Her breathing became shallow and the tears poured from her beautiful eyes.
“I can’t,” she screamed desperate, touching her neck.
“Stay with me, Bee,” I implored, holding her tight.
“What’s going on?”
“The pain,” she continued. “It’s…she left because she couldn’t handle it anymore. What if Willow is next?”
That wasn’t a light statement. A little more than a year ago, her sister tried to commit suicide.
“She’s getting help,” I retorted, knowing my brother watched her like a hawk. Yet, he gave her enough space to be herself. “Willow is strong, and she has Hunter and a family who supports her.”
Hazel shook her head, her gaze lifted, finding mine. “You can’t see the pain. But it’s unbearable. It’s like a virus that morphs fast and is hard to catch. A darkness that absorbs all the light.”
She pressed her lips together. “What if it grows so big that I end up like her?”
Her words shifted my axis. Hazel wasn’t talking about Willow; she was talking about herself. I couldn’t bear the thought of losing her.
“I’m scared… terrified,” she continued, drying her tears, “that one day I will fall into a hole and I won’t make it back up, ever.”
I took her hands. “That day, you’ll take my hand, and I’ll hold you until you’re strong enough to continue.”
Leaning forward, I kissed her nose.
“We can share it,” I whispered, “your pain.”
Releasing her hands, I put my arms around her. Pressing her body against mine, I set a soft kiss on her forehead. Dusting small kisses around her face, my mouth found her soft lips. The simple touch set my soul on fire. The world stopped. It was just the two of us connected as I poured out my soul. Consumed by her sweetness and the blazing flames burning every cell in my body.
I deepened the kiss.
I took her pain.
I might have given her my heart.
“Scott,” she said my name in awe.
“When you’re falling, tell me. I’m here, for you.” I held her inside the protective cocoon I created for us. “Life might be painful, but it can be sweet and happy.”
“What is this?”
“I’m not sure, but we can find out together.”
Love, it was love. But I didn’t say it when I had the chance and now…
“Are you falling, Bee?”
She opens her eyes, shaking her head. “No, I’m fine.”
Liar, I mouth but she ignores me.
Hazel is great at hiding her anxiety and pretending that the world is spinning rightfully. Meanwhile, she’ll harbor the emotional pain and fight it silently. I admire her strength, but I wish she’d talk to me. The gap between us is too big. She’s too far away to reach. We’re in a hard place. I just want everything to go back to the way things were a few months ago. Well, I want us to be together, but this time it’ll be different. I’m doing everything the right way. I’ll make her fall in love with me. I plan on taking her out on dates. My strategy includes flowers, sweet gestures, and love.
“Let me get this straight. You’re leaving everything behind.” She opens her eyes and clutches her arms to her chest. “What about your company? Gramps expects you to be at his office every Friday morning for the weekly update.”
Scratching my chin with the back of my fingers, I wonder how to explain my plans without sounding crazy.
Who uproots his entire life for a girl? Me.
Who plans on moving a company to the other side of the country? The answer is, again, me.
“We’ll figure it out, Hazel.”
“Why are you so cryptic?” She chews her lip. “Do you think we can handle the companies from here?”
“You said it can be done,” I remind her what she mentioned when she first brought up this move. “I’ve always trusted your instincts.”
We lock gazes and remain quiet for several seconds. Then, she breaks eye contact, spinning around, and staring at the window. Her posture goes limp. Her voice quiets down.
My heart slows down its beat as I sense her sadness.
I rise from my seat, and march toward her. Placing my hands on her hips, I bend my neck, soaking in her chamomile and orchid perfume. The warmth of her body making every cell of my body tingle, every neuron fired as my heart beats at the rhythm of hers.
I’m complete.
How can I let her go? I’ve been hers, since she waltzed into my life with her big eyes, and endless questions. The combination of her smile, her eagerness to learn, and her passion for helping everyone changed me. And I fell madly and deeply in love
with her. She fixed everything that was broken inside me. She puts me together every time I have her in my arms.
“I just need to know why you’re here.”
I’m here because even though I know someone else owns your heart. I want to believe in the impossible. The infinite possibilities of you and me.
“Are you okay?” I change the subject.
“I don’t know,” she whispers.
“How can I help, Bee?”
“It’s something I have to deal with myself. Be strong enough to stand up and remind myself about the bigger picture.”
“You used to lean on me.”
“That was before.” She leans her head on my chest.
Before I pushed her away, she doesn’t say.
“Why not stay in New York with your brothers?”
She switches the wording of her question.
“Because you’re here.” I kiss the top of her head, holding her tight, absorbing the sadness taking over her mind. “I can only be so far from you. Do you have any idea what you mean to me?”
She pushes me slightly and turns around. Her eyes radiate anger, doubt. “You can’t keep doing this. My heart isn’t a toy you can toss around like a ball,” she whispers loud enough that I can hear her.
“I need you to trust me.”
“But not with my heart.” She spits.
Her words taste like poisoned water and dirt. I deserve that for hurting her, for rejecting her. But now what? I’m not giving up.
That was my biggest mistake, giving up since our relationship began.
“The anniversary of your parents’ death is approaching. What do you want to do?” Hazel asked while we were at work.
My brothers and I didn’t handle their anniversary well. Hazel came up with the idea of traveling during that week. The pain never went away, but at least we weren’t so close to drowning in sorrow. We had been together for a few weeks when she asked the question.
“It’s up to you.”
“Willow and Hunter are flying to LA, then going to Hawaii,” she informed me. “Fitz is visiting the monastery he went to last year.”
I lifted my gaze and found her chewing her lip. She stared at her laptop.
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