“Wholly shit this place is awesome. He must have some serious bucks to be able to afford all this. Does he need another roommate?” He spun round then and started checking out the gadgets around him, nodding in approval at the top of the range names that were branded on everything.
“Feel free to have a nose around.” I knew Chris, he would be itching to go through every room.
“I intend to, and I’ll be going through the drawers too so if you’ve anything you don’t want me to see better tell me now, so I can find it sooner.” He winked.
“You are not looking through our drawers.” I chided him. “I love you Chris but I draw the line at sharing everything with you.”
I walked Chris around the living area, onto the balcony then through to the kitchen. Next I led him down to the gym and spare rooms before I showed him our room. As he started poking around in the bathroom I flopped down onto the bed.
“Chrisssss…” I moaned out in mock agony.
“What is it baby girl?”
“I’ve fucked up Chris.” I winced at him. “Big time.”
“What have you done and who do I need to kill?” He plonked himself down next to me and I burst into tears. I’d held it together all day and now I was on my own with one of my oldest friends, I couldn’t hold back anymore. The overwhelming despair had me in its icy grasp. I was lost, clueless and needed someone to make it all go away, but I knew that would never happen.
“If I tell you, you can’t breathe a word about this to anyone. I mean it Chris this is important.”
“I won’t tell a soul, you can trust me Ella. I won’t even tell Robyn if you don’t want me to.”
“I’ll tell Robyn myself when I can, but I mean it Chris no one can know ok.”
“Jeez of course Ella, What’s up? Did you rob a bank?”
“I’m pregnant.”
“Holy shit.”
“Yes exactly. Holy shit indeed.” I threw myself back onto my pillow and covered my face.
“Have you told Joe?”
“No and I don’t plan on telling him, not yet anyway. I need to get my own head around this first before I bring him into the mix. Can you imagine how he’ll react?”
“Well he’ll probably be strutting around like a peacock if I know him, that and smothering you completely.”
“Chris, we haven’t even talked about kids yet. He might not want any.”
“Of course he does. It’s you we’re talking about here, he’d want anything with you. He’ll probably have you bare foot and pregnant for the next ten years chick.” Chris joked but I wasn’t laughing.
“I’m serious Chris, this is some scary shit.”
“Why?”
“Because I can barely take care of myself let alone anyone else who might come along. I’m not ready for this.”
“Tough shit I’m afraid, you’ve got not choice Hun.”
I huffed irritated, “I asked you round here to help make me feel better. You’re doing a crap job at that by the way.” I scowled at him now throwing a scatter cushion at his head. He just laughed.
“Ella, you will make the best yummy Mummy ever and Joe will be the hottest Dad on the school playground, can you imagine how happy it will make all the other Mums when they catch a load of him?”
“I can’t do this Chris.”
“So what you gonna do? Get rid of it?”
“God no, don’t say that.” I covered my tummy up as if my tiny bunch of cells could already hear what we were saying. “Don’t hurt their feelings.”
“You’re already covering your baby’s ears, seriously? Baby girl you have already made your mind up about all this and you don’t need me for anything except buying your baby the cutest outfits and teaching them the best dance moves. I’m gonna be cool Uncle Chris.”
“Crazy Uncle Chris more like.”
We sat on the bed chatting some more, and eventually my blood pressure dropped slightly.
“When are you going to go to the doctors and have it medically confirmed?” Chris asked.
“I don’t know, maybe in a few days I’ll be able to face it.”
Just then I heard the front door open and close. I jolted up from the bed and skipped into the living room to find Joe removing his tie and falling onto the sofa. He looked stressed out to the maximum.
“You okay? More problems with the building?”
“Just legal shit it’s boring I don’t want to talk about it.”
He beckoned me over but I turned as Chris came out of the bedroom.
“Hi Joe, good day at the office.” Chris smiled.
“No.”
I rolled my eyes, Joe was the worst host ever. Getting him to talk to others sometimes was like getting blood from a stone.
“Okay!” Chris kissed me on the cheek and announced, “And on that note I shall leave you two love birds alone. Take care Ella and maybe see you tomorrow, if you’re better that is.” I narrowed my eyes on him.
“See you tomorrow Chris.” I called.
“See you later Daddio!” He sang over to Joe and left closing the door with the biggest smug grin on his face.
“Your friend is a weirdo, you know that right?”
“Yep, takes one to know one.” I sat in Joe’s lap and rested my head on his chest listening to his thumping heartbeat. I started to wonder what it would feel like to hear the baby’s heart beat for the first time. Would I cry? Would he? I imagined going to scans together and watching the baby on the screen. Then I looked up at Joe and thought about him playing football in the park with a little dark haired boy like him, or pushing a little blonde angel on the swings. Maybe we could do this. Perhaps I was being too hard on myself, and not giving Joe enough credit either. He was always so protective of me, he’d be just as protective over our child.
“Do you ever wonder what the future holds?” I mused.
“I struggle with the present sweet heart. Ask me in a year’s time when the club is running smoothly.”
Shit, that wasn’t what I’d expected him to say. I found myself back tracking.
“It’ll all work out fine with the club, everyone will love it and you’ll be taking over the world soon enough.” Well at least I had my answer now, his future involved work, work and more work followed by world domination. Mine looked like a whole heap of stress.
15
Hiding morning sickness was the hardest thing I’d ever had to do. I had a stash of biscuits in my bedside table and I tried to wake up before Joe every morning so I could nibble on one and fight back the nausea that rose up. My skin looked pale so I was exhausting my makeup bag with all the concealer, blush and tints I was using to add some colour to my face. Then there was the tiredness. I could literally drop onto the sofa every night at 6pm and the eye lids would start closing up not long after.
However, it was my sense of smell and taste that had been affected the most. I couldn’t be in the apartment if Joe made a fry up for breakfast. The smell of the cooking made me gag. I couldn’t drink tea or coffee anymore which I was trying to cover up by drinking cold drinks out of mugs so they’d look like my daily caffeine fix. I was drained from all the tracks I was trying to cover up. Even at work I was pretending to drink the tea and coffee people made for me, but secretly tipping them down the sink whenever I could sneak away from my desk. How do women do this every day? I thought in confusion, I hadn’t even started and I was fed up already.
I rang my doctor to book an appointment as I didn’t have a clue what my next move should be. She gave me a little pot to pee in and tested me again. Yep, still pregnant. Nothing had changed there. She filled out some paperwork and took my details. I gave her Robyn’s address as I didn’t want anything coming to the apartment, then she smiled and congratulated me. Apparently I was about six or seven weeks but I would get a scan date through the post and they would be able to kn
ow my dates more clearly from then on. She took my blood pressure and then gave me an approximate due date and advised me about some foods and other things I would need to be careful of. I didn’t realise pregnancy was so complicated. I’d be checking all the ingredients in the supermarkets from now on.
“Any questions?” She grinned.
“Erm, I have been drinking…alcohol I mean. Obviously not now, but I didn’t know I was pregnant when I was drinking. Will that have damaged the baby?”
My cheeks were burning and I was sure I looked as red as a beetroot right now. My hands were clammy and I wiped them on my jeans embarrassed with myself and my recklessness the past few months. I’d been living like a teenager and really not taking care of my health as I should have been.
She laughed, “Don’t worry, lots of women have been drinking before they find out about their pregnancy. It’s not uncommon and no it won’t have caused any long term harm to your baby. Just be careful from now on okay.”
“Oh I will, I won’t be drinking a drop I promise.”
I sounded like I was in the headmistress’s office trying to talk my way out of a detention. ‘How old are you Ella?’ I scolded myself. I needed to grow up fast and start acting more maturely if I was going to nail this motherhood thing.
“I’ll see you back here in a few months then.” She stood and shook my hand. “If you have any other questions Ella, please don’t hesitate to call the surgery. There’s also the number for your local maternity department on the back of your notes. Keep those notes on you at all times, you know, just in case any medical professionals need to access them at any time.”
I nodded. Jeez I’d have to get myself a bigger handbag with all the stuff I’d have to carry around. As I walked out of the doctors surgery I saw Sam across the street parked up, watching over me. Damn, didn’t that man have anything better to do than follow me and sit in the car hour after hour? He must hate his job right now. I waved at him meekly and walked over to the car.
“I just had a routine check, you know ‘women’s stuff’” I said using my fingers as inverted commas, and growing red and embarrassed again. I wouldn’t need blusher soon with how much I was blushing for real lately.
“No need to explain” Sam said in a bored, monotone voice.
“Oh I know, I just thought I’d come over, say ‘Hi’, whatever. Okay, so I guess I’ll see you around.” I was such an air head. Why would Sam, Joe’s driver and head of security for the club want to know about my doctor’s visit? I needed to get a grip and not act so suspiciously.
“Everything fine and dandy?” Chris asked as I huffed and puffed my way into the office an hour later. “Manage to sort out your next appointment?”
“Yes all sorted but I’m still nervous as hell.” My hands were still shaky and my head was spinning with all the information, booklets and fact sheets she’d given me. It looked like you needed a degree in all things pregnancy related these days to even survive the whole nine months, and that was the easy bit, it was the eighteen years after that that scared the hell out of me.
“You’ll ace it.” He smiled, acting like we were discussing an account for work and not a new unpredictable, noisy and demanding human being I was busy cooking up. “So what date have they given you for the next appointment?”
I grinned at his eagerness to get information out of me. He was loving all this I knew it. “Well, I may have to meet with someone else in a few weeks but all dates should be confirmed then. I think they started the whole idea about six or seven weeks ago.”
“Took their time seeing you then didn’t they!” He was incorrigible.
“Who’s this?” Colin butted in rudely.
“No one you know, just a prospective new client. I’ll fill you in when it’s all confirmed.” I told him. I wondered when I would start showing. Maybe I could keep it a secret longer than I thought. I had pretty strong stomach muscles. Fingers crossed this baby would be teeny tiny, I certainly hoped so. My brain was glossing over the idea of childbirth. I didn’t need that kind of horror flashing through my already overloaded mind.
“Anything you need to do in preparation for the next appointment?” Chris asked.
Shoot, I’d forgotten to pick up some vitamins and folic acid on my way back to the office. See, I was going to make the worst Mum ever, I couldn’t even remember to collect important medicine to help the baby grow healthily.
“Yes but I can sort all that out, you don’t need to worry.”
“Cool, exciting!” His eyes sparkled and his eye brows danced up and down as he said this, and clapped his hands together. I just rolled my eyes and got started on my inbox. I had to do something to take me away from the world of babies that my brain seemed to have sunk into.
“Ella, what are these figures you left for me?” Eric came over to my desk holding a folder, I had no idea what it was and couldn’t remember doing any figures for him. I was forgetting loads just lately. I felt like I was going mad some days.
“Let’s see, oh yes those are the current marketing figures and projections for that web account Colin was working on last week.” I still had no idea what the figures were, my brain was really struggling.
“I think you need to look at them again Ella, none of this adds up.” He put the folder down on my desk and I looked sheepishly up at him.
“I’m so sorry Eric, I was overloaded with work last week I must have got the figures mixed up with another account.”
“It’s easily done, but be careful Ella, we can’t afford to make mistakes like that too often.”
“Oh it won’t happen again Eric I can assure you, I’m on it.”
Eric left me feeling stupid and incapable. What had I done? I couldn’t even remember doing the figures.
“Baby Brain!” Chris whispered in my ear as he walked around the back of my desk and into the kitchen.
My phone rang with the tone indicating an internal call. ‘Oh great what else had I done wrong?’
“Ella Reid.” I answered.
“Ella, can you come into my office and give me an update on the J M Fitness account. We need to start wrapping that up.”
“Yes of course Frank, give me five minutes to gather my files for you.” I felt like running out of the office and never coming back. I wasn’t working well right now, and I hated being off my game. Frank would be sure to notice it too. I pulled all my files and notes together and stomped down to his office. Maybe Joe would get his wish and I’d be out of work sooner than I hoped.
I emerged from Frank’s office an hour later feeling much more positive. Bless Colin, he had been working so hard on Joe’s account and things were all good to go. I had ideas for a grand opening to showcase the health club in the media and online, which Frank loved. I was excited too, I was going to go to town on the arrangements. The décor and chandeliers in the club had inspired my ‘Great Gatsby’ theme, bringing the fashion of yester years to the luxury of today. It would be all about indulgence and extravagance. The men would be devastatingly handsome and powerful in sharp 1920s suits and ladies in the sparkliest dresses and jewels. I couldn’t wait. I spent the rest of the day sourcing caterers, drinks suppliers, artists, entertainers, musicians the lot. I also emailed Joe all the ideas and he replied instantly telling me he had no idea about the story but loved the sound of old glamour meets new. I knew I was going the extra mile at work with his account but I wanted to put everything into making it a success, he deserved it.
“I hate springing this on you baby, but I have to attend some awards ceremony thing a week on Friday. You will come with me won’t you?” Joe seemed nervous asking me as he rooted through the fridge then pulled out a bottle of wine and poured me a glass. He was trying to sweeten me up with my favourite wine. Oh no, I was going to have to spit it out or sneakily spill it down the sink without him seeing.
“You never go to work things like that how come?” I sai
d trying to distract him.
“I’ve done whatever I can to get out of them since I met you Ella. I usually send Josh or someone else from the office. I haven’t been able to get out of this one though. They want to give me some kind of award for some charity work we’ve been doing for the last few years.” Why since he met me? I didn’t get that comment at all but let it slide.
“What award? And what charity?” I managed to stealthily pour a bit of the wine into a plant pot on the window sill without him noticing.
“It’s for the work we’ve done with teenagers, mostly lads, but a few girls too. We have youth centres with boxing rings and other equipment dotted around the city. We organise days out and fund courses to encourage them to stay off the streets and away from the whole gang culture. Channel their energy other ways.” It sounded like a charity Joe himself would have benefitted from all those years ago.
“That sounds amazing, I had no idea you did anything like that.” I really was impressed. He never failed to amaze me every day in one way or another.
“There’s a lot you don’t know about me beautiful.” He came over to me and cuddled me close. I found his scent addictive at the moment. I could lose myself in him for hours. Must be the pregnancy hormones. He kissed my neck slowly making my toes curl and it was on the tip of my tongue to tell him about the baby, when his mobile rang and he reached over to pick it up from the kitchen counter.
“Madden.” He answered sharply. “What?... I don’t care, don’t ever ring me again!” He walked away from me to the opposite side of the kitchen so I couldn’t hear what the person on the other end was saying, but his eyes never left mine. “Bull shit!... I mean it, don’t ever ring this number again.” He snapped and hung up, throwing his phone onto the island.
“Who was that?” I was intrigued as to who had got him all riled up, and he was very, very pissed off.
“No one, just a wrong number that wouldn’t get off the line.” Why didn’t I believe him? I’d have to check that number when he wasn’t looking. Being with Joe had improved my detective skills no end.
Exclusively Yours (Joe & Ella Book 2) Page 13