by Rebecca King
When Niall realised that she wasn’t going to close the door while he was there, he left.
Clara watched until Niall was swallowed by the darkness. In that exact moment, she heard the return of the horses’ hooves again, and knew then that Erasmus had been watching them from the end of the street. As if on cue, he appeared at the same time Niall disappeared.
Without even bothering to look in Erasmus’s direction, Clara backed into her house and closed her front door before sliding the bolt across. She then turned and rested her back against the solid wood while she listened to those unrelenting clip-clops of the horses’ hooves. To her disgust, they stopped directly outside of her house. She waited, her heart thundering in her ears. Tension flooded through her as she listened to the steady ticking of the huge grandfather clock in the corner of the hallway. When nothing happened, she knew Erasmus was waiting for her to appear in the window and see him.
“Well, I am not going to give you the satisfaction, Erasmus Boyle. You are nothing but a pest.”
While she spoke, the mental image of Niall swam to the forefront of her mind, teasing and taunting her with the essence of what a suitor should be. Niall was, without doubt, the kind of suitor, the only kind of suitor, who would capture her interest and actually stand any chance of getting her to consider marriage. However, she now also knew who he was and it wasn’t just a handsome stranger.
“You are one of the Star Elite, and that is terrifying enough to warn me that we can never have a future together.”
What Clara knew of the Star Elite was that they were a secretive organisation hidden within the War Office, who mainly consisted of soldiers who had all served time in the army. They had formed a tight-knit unit of men who fought domestic crimes on a large scale like organised gangs, pick-pocketing gangs, fraudsters and the like. During the war, they had helped stop smugglers and had captured French spies. Now that the war was over, they had focused their attention on local criminals. Their exploits were legendary and, while most people had heard of them, nobody truly knew who any of them were.
“Now I do,” Clara whispered.
She touched her lips with curious fingers, well aware that they still tingled from that brief touch of his lips. It was odd that he had chosen to kiss her to try to worry her.
“What did he expect me to be afraid of?” she whispered.
Rather than be moon struck or wildly thrilled, Clara was curious. She wanted to know what would have happened if he deepened the kiss. She wanted to know more, to experience more, to find out for herself what happened if she pressed for more.
“I don’t think father would have sent him if he knew that I would be attracted to a man like Niall,” Clara murmured.
Shaking her head in disbelief at just how unusual her evening had been, Clara did exactly as Niall had suggested and wandered through the house, closing the shutters and curtains as she went. Eventually, she arrived at the front parlour only to find Erasmus’s curricle still outside. Rather than go to the window so that he could see her, she remained out of sight and left the shutters until later.
“Is that you dear?” Flo called from her bed chamber.
“Yes, I have just got back,” Clara called. “Do you want some hot chocolate?”
“No, dear. I am going to bed before my dear Albert returns,” Flo replied, her voice trailing off to a distracted rumble.
Clara sighed because Flo’s husband, Albert, had been dead for the last ten years. No matter how many times she reminded her aunt of his demise, Flo insisted that he was still living in the house and spoke about him as if he had just popped out. Tonight, though, Clara couldn’t bring herself to upset her aunt by reminding her yet again that her husband was now dead and wouldn’t be coming back. Instead, she called goodnight, and then went into the warmest room in the house: the study. She needed some time alone to think, about Niall mostly.
CHAPTER FIVE
Half an hour later, Clara was still staring absently into the fire while trying, rather unsuccessfully, to take her mind off Niall. No matter how much she wanted to think of something else, her wayward mind seemed determined to consider every aspect of her evening with Niall. Moreover, each time she closed her eyes the image of him hovered in the darker recesses of her mind, waiting to haunt her. As a consequence of her failure to concentrate on something else, Clara suspected that she was going to be thinking about Niall and wondering where he was and what he was doing for a very long time to come.
“I need to do something with my evening,” she sighed, but when she thought about what discovered that nothing appealed to her.
She wished now she had gone up to see her aunt and at least had a natter with her before Flo fell asleep. But it was too late now. Flo was most probably already sleeping. Consequently, Clara was all alone in a house that was so darned quiet she could hear her own heartbeat and it was most disconcerting.
The urge to go and see if Erasmus Boyle was still perched at the side of the road outside the house like a gargoyle was strong. It was only the fact that she didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing she was curious about him that stopped her from taking a quick peek through the shutters in the front parlour.
Again, her treacherous mind turned to Niall. Where was he? What was he doing? She wondered if he had lingered outside long enough to be aware that Erasmus was still watching the house. If so, whether he was bothered by it, or just was glad to be away from her.
He is probably still running home, she thought morosely.
“I don’t care what anybody thinks, I am not in much overt danger in this village. There is no reason why I should be worried about Erasmus or anyone else for that matter,” she whispered a little defiantly. “There is no reason why I should change what I do or stop going where I want to go. I am not going to allow Erasmus to thwart me, or you for that matter, Mr. Niall Farley-Paget, no matter how handsome you are.”
She contemplated that for a moment and once again felt saddened by what he had said. He had been so appalled by the notion of being her fiancé that she couldn’t help but feel a little humiliated by it.
“He thinks I am a wayward female who is too foolish to look after herself,” she muttered in disgust. “I didn’t ask Erasmus to accost me. Why is it that men seem to think a woman cannot survive alone? I can. I am perfectly capable of looking after myself. Moreover, I am perfectly content with my lot in life. There is no reason why I should do anything differently just to prove to any man that I can be safe going about my business.”
She nodded her head for emphasis but couldn’t ignore the nagging little voice that doubted if she was being honest again. After her earlier lies, Clara couldn’t bring herself to create another untruth and so was forced to contemplate the honesty of her open declaration.
“All right, so maybe I am not all that content with my lot in life,” she muttered doubtfully. If she was completely honest, she was not content. “Something is missing.”
She suspected she now knew what that ‘something’ was. It wasn’t marriage because she couldn’t contemplate being a man’s wife. The thought of being married to a man like Erasmus, or anybody else in the village now that she came to think about it, was downright horrible. The idea of being called Niall’s wife was completely different, though, and that troubled her more than anything because he was the very last man whom she should ever be interested in.
“He isn’t likely to ever stay around this area, even if he is with the Star Elite; especially if he is with the Star Elite. While I don’t know too much about them, I do know they move around a lot,” she sighed. “He isn’t the settling down kind of man.”
When she contemplated her life, though, there wasn’t a part of it she wished to change for anybody, even a man like Niall. She did like her life as it was now just as Niall apparently liked his life.
“I have a good circle of friends, a nice home, things to do to fill my time. My aunt is here, and my father comes home to see us whenever he can. Other than that, I h
ave more freedom than most women, and can go where I want whenever I want. All right, so there is Erasmus Boyle to consider, but he must get the message that I am not interested in him at some point. If not, then I am going to have to write to father and tell him what the man is up to. Father has to do something about Boyle and that cousin of his, it is that simple.”
She jerked in alarm when her thoughts were interrupted by a loud series of raps on the front door. Her glare at the door was instinctive, but she didn’t get up. Instead, Clara closed her eyes and stubbornly refused to answer the summons. She felt she already knew who it was and like Niall had said, didn’t intend to do anything that would give Erasmus Boyle the opportunity to get a foot across the threshold. When she heard the horses’ hooves again, though, and the rapping on the front door at the same time, curiosity compelled Clara to hurry through the house and peer out of the window.
“Who is it, dear?” Flo called from her the top of the stairs.
Clara retraced her steps until Flo could see her. “I don’t know.”
“Well, answer it. Answer it,” Flo urged waving her perfumed hands toward the large oak front door. “Don’t leave guests waiting on the doorstep. It isn’t polite, dear.”
“What if it is Erasmus Boyle?” Clara whispered in a voice that was nothing short of a hushed hiss.
Flo began to descend the stairs and waved her cane airily around her head. “Then he shall have this to contend with.”
Clara rolled her eyes at the militant look in her aunt’s eyes and hurriedly turned around to answer the door.
“Edith,” she gasped with huge relief when saw who was on the doorstep.
“I just came to see how you are, my dear,” Edith said by way of greeting. “That was a terrible to-do with Erasmus, wasn’t it?”
“Has he gone now?” Clara stuck her head out of the door and looked up and down the road. It was a little disconcerting to note that she was really looking for Niall, but no less disappointing that he wasn’t there.
Edith glared at her. “Yes. I told him he was being a pest and that if he didn’t leave you alone, I would send my Robert around to have a word. That cooked his pestering goose for him, I can tell you.”
Clara grinned and stepped back to allow her friend into the house. Robert, Edith’s son, was well over six and a half feet, and not the kind of man any sane person messed with.
“Come on in,” Clara urged, eager to get out of sight in case Erasmus returned.
By the time she had closed the door, Edith had greeted Flo and the two women were chatting amiably about their respective days. Clara suspected that Edith had called to hear more about Niall but was inwardly horrified that her aunt was going to find out about her fictitious engagement.
It is inevitable now.
Unfortunately, Clara knew there was nothing she could do about it, except tell the ladies the truth. Strangely, that was something she didn’t want to do, although had no idea why.
I must. It isn’t fair on Niall to allow the lies to continue any longer.
“I am off to sit with Isadora and read for a while, dear,” Edith announced suddenly. “Would you care to join us?” She looked from Flo to Clara and back again.
“Well, I can’t my dear. It is far too late for my eyes to read in candlelight. I can barely see my own feet as it is,” Flo explained.
Clara’s lips twitched because she knew that despite her aunt’s claimed instability Flo’s eyesight was sharper than her own.
“No, thank you.” Clara offered her a smile when Edith looked a little disappointed. “I have some paperwork to catch up on. I have left it far too late to respond to my father’s correspondence as it is. He is going to be cross with me if I delay it any longer. He is likely to come back to find out what has happened to me.”
“How is your father, dear?” Edith asked, patting her kindly on the arm.
“Busy. You know father. He is always busy,” Clara sighed but with far less pride than she ought to use.
“And still in London?” Edith’s wise eyes turned sympathetic.
Clara smiled but had little in the way of information to tell her friend, not least because she didn’t know what her father was up to. “He will come back when he can, but I am sure you will understand that his position is very demanding.”
“He must be delighted that you have met Niall,” Edith gushed suddenly.
Clara mentally winced when she felt Flo turn to stare at her.
“Niall?”
“Her fiancé,” Edith gasped. Misunderstanding Flo’s askance look, she threw an apologetic look at Clara. “I am sorry. I know this is a family secret, but I just can’t contain my excitement.”
“You have a fiancé?” Flo stared at Clara as if she had never set eyes on her before in her life. “Is there something you need to tell me, dear?”
“I can explain,” Clara began awkwardly as her panic rose.
Edith looked from one woman to the other and lost some of her jubilation as she read Flo’s confusion and felt the sudden tension in the air.
“You remember Niall, don’t you, Aunt?” Clara began although didn’t have the heart to let the woman believe she had met Niall and forgotten.
“Is he here?” Flo looked around the room.
“No, he has gone back to his lodgings,” Clara replied.
“Wedding? There is to be a wedding?” Flo demanded.
“Let’s go into the parlour, shall we?” Clara suggested.
An uncomfortable silence settled over them as they all moved into the parlour. While Flo settled into her favourite chair, Clara busied herself stoking the fire back into life. She poked at the embers and threw on another half bucket full of coal while frantically trying to think of something she could say that would extricate her from this difficult situation without bringing about her total humiliation. All she could think of doing was behaving like the perfect hostess, even though Edith was practically a member of the family and didn’t require the normal formalities.
“It was wonderful to meet him, although you certainly kept him a secret, didn’t you?” There was something accusatory in the look Edith gave Clara.
“I am still not convinced it is the right thing to do,” Clara began honestly.
“Oh, it is just nerves, that’s all. I am sure that you will be a little more confident once the reality of it sinks in,” Edith assured her.
“When shall we meet him?” Flo demanded, piercing Clara with a suspicious look that left Clara in no doubt she would face questions later, and would go nowhere until she answered them. Clara knew that look on her aunt’s face. It was the look that warned Clara she was in deep trouble.
I brought it on myself. I shall just have to be honest with her.
Out of everyone who would understand, Clara suspected Flo would. She might be annoyed at the falsehood, but she would try to help Clara get out of the awkward situation she was in. Clara hoped so in any case because, right now, she needed all the help she could get.
“Does your father intend to come back to meet him?” Edith asked. “He must be delighted.”
“He is,” Clara replied instantly.
Edith nodded, but frowned a little as if she sensed something was wrong. “Well, let’s hope that he will return soon.”
“Niall?”
“Atticus. If he stays away any longer, he will have forgotten where to find you and it would be shame if he missed your fiancé while he was here.”
“But Niall lives in London and works for the War Office. They meet quite often, Edith,” Clara said.
She then clamped her lips closed because she knew just how much information she had just divulged and probably shouldn’t. While Edith knew of her father’s position, she didn’t know about the Star Elite, and the work they did for the War Office.
I can only hope Edith doesn’t go around the village telling everyone because if Niall is one of them, I have just made his job a lot harder. Although, what job he might be here to do I have yet to find out.
“Is that how you met, dear?” Edith demanded.
“You must tell her,” Flo urged. “I do love to hear this story.”
The pointed way Flo glared at her as she spoke warned Clara that her aunt knew she was lying and was warning her to tell the truth.
“We met by accident,” Clara began. Her mind ran over what had happened just a few short hours earlier.
Face it, not much else exciting happens in my life. A handsome stranger rescued me and challenged me more than anybody ever has.
Niall had challenged her and awakened something inside her that Clara hadn’t known she possessed. It yearned for freedom, adventure, something more. Unfortunately, the freedom she had enjoyed thus far in her life had left her somewhat bored. She wanted something – more; a new kind of challenge. A new kind of adventure. A new kind of life. While she was incredibly grateful for the life she had; it was luxurious and gave her everything she could want, it was a little staid, predictable, and mundane. The latest fashion, money in her purse, plenty of friends, and a wonderfully large home to live in all seemed rather tepid given the wild thrill of exhilaration being with Niall had brought her. While he was around, she felt rash, daring, and seemed to almost come alive. She knew instinctively that life with Niall would never be boring and wanted to experience more of it.
“Clara?”
Clara jerked and offered Edith an apologetic smile when she realised that she had temporarily forgotten the woman was still waiting for an answer to a question.
If only I can remember what she just asked me.
“I will go and put some water on to boil,” she gasped before she launched out of her chair and hurried across the room.
“I say, Clara dear, is everything all right?” Flo called after her.
Clara froze when she reached the doorway and turned to frown at her aunt. “Yes. Why would you ask?”
Flo looked about to say something but at the last moment changed her mind and shook her head. Clara took this as her cue to leave. She needed a few minutes to steady herself. The guilt that had plagued her since Edith had arrived had grown considerably heavier until it started to feel like an insufferable burden. Unfortunately, Clara couldn’t seem to find the right words that would explain her actions to either Flo or Edith in a way that wouldn’t upset them, or make her look like some foolish, wayward child.