With her son’s blanket wrapped around her shoulders, Jane did sleep for an hour. When she woke, she knew instantly who she needed to talk to—Dovie Hennessey.
The older woman had been her first friend in Promise, and Jane valued her opinion. Maybe Dovie could help her muddle her way through the events of the past few months. She was sorry she hadn’t talked to her before. She supposed it was because her father’s death had shaken her so badly; she’d found it too difficult to reach out. Dealing with the children depleted what energy she had. Anything beyond the most mundane everyday functions seemed beyond her. As a physician, Jane should have recognized the signs of depression earlier, but then, it was much harder to be objective about one’s own situation.
To her disappointment Dovie didn’t answer. She could have left a message but decided not to. She considered calling her husband, but she didn’t have the courage yet. What would she say? What would he say? If Nicole answered, it would destroy her, and just now Jane felt too fragile to deal with such a profound betrayal.
Her mother was an excellent housekeeper, but Jane went around picking up toys and straightening magazines, anything to keep herself occupied. The mail was on the counter and Jane saw that it included a number of sympathy cards. She read each one, which renewed her overwhelming sense of loss and left her in tears.
Inside one of the sympathy cards was a letter addressed to her mother. Jane didn’t read it, although when she returned it to the envelope, she saw the signature. Laurie Jo. Her mother’s best friend from high school. Laurie Jo Spencer was the kind of friend to her mother that Annie had always been to Jane. Lately, though, Annie had been so busy dealing with the changes in her own life that they hadn’t talked nearly as often as they used to.
Laurie Jo had added a postscript asking Stephanie to join her in Mexico over the Christmas holidays. They were both recent widows, as well as old friends; they’d be perfect companions for each other.
Jane wondered if her mother would seriously consider the trip and hoped she would. It sounded ideal. Her father’s health problems had started months ago, and he’d required constant attention and care. Stephanie was physically and emotionally worn out.
If her mother did take the trip, it’d be a good time for Jane to find her own apartment. That way, her moving out would cause less of a strain in their relationship. So far, Stephanie had insisted Jane stay with her.
In another four weeks it’d be Christmas. Jane would have to make some decisions before then. Painful decisions that would force her to confront realities she’d rather not face. This lack of energy and ambition, living one day to the next, was beginning to feel like the norm. Beginning to feel almost comfortable. But for her own sake and the sake of her children, it couldn’t continue.
Jane glanced at the phone again. She dialed Dovie’s number, but there was still no answer.
It occurred to her that Dovie’s absence was really rather symbolic. There didn’t seem to be anyone—or anything—left for her in Promise, Texas.
Eight
Cal had never been much of a drinking man. An occasional beer, wine with dinner, but he rarely broke into the hard stuff. Nor did he often drink alone. But after six weeks without his family, Cal was considering doing both. The walls felt like they were closing in on him. Needing to escape and not interested in company, Cal drove to town and headed straight for Billy D’s, the local watering hole.
The Christmas lights were up, Cal noticed when he hit Main Street. Decorations were everywhere. Store windows featured Christmas displays, some of them quite elaborate. Huge red-and-white-striped candy canes and large wreaths dangled from each lamppost. Everything around town looked disgustingly cheerful, which only depressed him further. He’d never been all that fond of Christmas, but Jane was as bad as his mother. A year ago Jane had decided to make ornaments for everyone in the family. She’d spent hours pinning brightly colored beads to red satin balls, each design different, each ornament unique. Even Cal had to admit they were works of art. His wife’s talent had impressed him, but she’d shrugged off his praise, claiming it was something she’d always planned to do.
Last Christmas, Paul hadn’t quite understood what Christmas was about, but he’d gotten into the spirit of it soon enough. Seeing the festivities through his son’s eyes had made the holidays Cal’s best ever. This year would be even better now that both children—the thought pulled him up short. Without Jane and his family, this Christmas was going to be the worst of his life.
Cal parked his truck outside the tavern and sat there for several minutes before venturing inside. The noise level momentarily lessened when he walked in as people noted his arrival, then quickly resumed. Wanting to be alone, Cal chose a table at the back of the room, and as soon as the waitress appeared, he ordered a beer. Then, after thirty minutes or so, he had another. Even this place was decorated for Christmas, he saw, with inflated Santas and reindeer scattered about.
He must have been there an hour, perhaps longer, when an attractive woman made her way toward him and stood, hands on her shapely hips, directly in front of his table.
“Hello, Cal.”
It was Nicole Nelson. Cal stiffened with dread, since it was this very woman who’d been responsible for most of his problems.
“Aren’t you going to say it’s nice to see me?”
“No.”
She wore skin-tight jeans, a cropped beaded top and a white Stetson. At another time he might have thought her attractive, but not in his present frame of mind.
“Mind if I join you?”
He was about to explain that he’d rather be alone, but apparently she didn’t need an invitation to pull out a chair and sit down. He seemed to remember she’d done much the same thing the night she’d found him at the Mexican Lindo. The woman did what she wanted, regardless of other people’s preferences and desires. He’d never liked that kind of behavior and didn’t understand why he tolerated it now.
“I’m sorry to hear about you and Jane.”
His marriage was the last subject he intended to discuss with Nicole. He didn’t respond.
“You must be lonely,” she went on.
He shrugged and reached for his beer, taking a healthy swallow.
“I think it’s a good idea for you to get out, mingle with friends, let the world know you’re your own man.”
She wasn’t making any sense. Cal figured she’d leave as soon as she realized he wasn’t going to be manipulated into a conversation.
“The holidays are a terrible time to be alone,” she said, leaning forward with her elbows on the table. She propped her chin in her hands. “It’s hard. I know.”
Cal took another swallow of beer. She’d get the message eventually. At least he hoped she would.
“I always thought you and I had a lot in common,” she continued.
Unable to suppress his reaction, he arched his eyebrows. She leaped on that as if he’d talked nonstop for the past ten minutes.
“It’s true, Cal. Look at us. We’re both killing a Saturday night in a tavern because neither of us has anyplace better to go. We’re struggling to hold in our troubles for fear anyone else will know the real us.”
The woman was so full of malarkey it was all Cal could do not to laugh in her face.
“I can help you through this,” she said earnestly.
“Help me?” He shouldn’t have spoken, but he couldn’t even guess what Nicole had to offer that could possibly interest him.
“I made a terrible mistake before, when Jennifer broke off the engagement. You needed me then, but I was too young to know that. I’m mature enough to have figured it out now.”
“Really?” This entire conversation was laughable.
Her smile was coy. “You want me, Cal,” she said boldly, her unwavering gaze holding him captive. “That’s good, because I want you, too. I’ve always wanted you.”
> “I’m married, Nicole.” That was a little matter she’d conveniently forgotten.
“Separated,” she corrected.
This woman had played no small part in that separation, and Cal was seeing her with fresh eyes.
“I think you should leave,” he said, not bothering to mince words. Until now, Cal had assumed Jane was being paranoid about Nicole Nelson. Yes, they’d bumped into each other at the Mexican Lindo. Yes, she’d baked him a casserole and delivered it to the house. Both occasions meant nothing to him. Until today, he’d believed that Jane had overreacted, that she’d been unreasonable. But at this moment, everything Jane had said added up in his mind.
“Leave?” She pouted prettily. “You don’t mean that.”
“Nicole, I’m married and I happen to love my wife and children very much. I’m not interested in an affair with you or anyone else.”
“I...I hope you don’t think that’s what I was saying.” She revealed the perfect amount of confusion.
“I know exactly what you were saying. What else is this ‘I want you’ business? You’re right about one thing though—I know what I want and, frankly, it isn’t you.”
“Cal,” she whispered, shaking her head. “I’m sure you misunderstood me.”
He snickered softly.
“You’re looking for company,” she said, “otherwise you would’ve done your drinking at home. I understand that, because I know what it’s like to be alone, to want to connect with someone. You want someone with a willing ear.”
Cal had any number of family and friends with whom he could discuss his woes, and he doubted Nicole had any viable solutions to offer. He groaned. Sure as hell, Jane would get wind of this encounter and consider it grounds for divorce.
“All right,” Nicole said, and pushed back her chair. “I know this is a difficult time. Separation’s hard on a man, but when you want to talk about it, I’ll be there for you, okay? Call me. I’ll wait to hear from you.”
As far as Cal was concerned, Nicole would have a very long wait. He paid his tab, and then, because he didn’t want to drive, he walked over to the café in the bowling alley.
“You want some food to go with that coffee?” Denise asked pointedly.
“I guess,” he muttered, realizing he hadn’t eaten much of anything in days. “Bring me whatever you want. I don’t care.”
Ten minutes later she returned with a plate of corned-beef hash, three fried eggs, plus hash browns and a stack of sourdough toast. “That’s breakfast,” he said, looking down at the plate.
“I figured it was your first meal of the day. Your first decent one, anyhow.”
“Well, yeah.” It was.
Denise set the glass coffeepot on the table. “You okay?”
He nodded.
“You don’t look it. You and I went all the way through school together, Cal, and I feel I can be honest with you. But don’t worry—I’m not going to give you advice.”
“Good.” He’d had a confrontation with his brother earlier in the day about his marriage. Then he’d heard from Nicole. Now Denise. Everyone seemed to want to tell him what to do.
“I happen to think the world of Dr. Jane. So work it out before I lose faith in you.”
“Yes, Denise.” He picked up his fork.
Cal was half finished his meal when Wade McMillen slipped into the booth across from him. “Hi, Cal. How’re you doing?”
Cal scowled. This was the very reason he’d avoided coming into town until tonight. People naturally assumed he was looking for company, so they had no compunction about offering him that—and plenty of unsolicited advice.
“Heard from Jane lately?” Wade asked.
Talk about getting straight to the point.
“No.” Cal glared at the man who was both pastor and friend. At times it was hard to see the boundary between the two roles. “I don’t remember inviting you to join me,” he muttered and reached for the ketchup, smearing a glob on the remains of his corned-beef hash.
“You didn’t.”
“What is it with people?” Cal snapped. “Can’t they leave me the hell alone?”
Wade chuckled. “That was an interesting choice of words. Leave you the hell alone. I imagine that’s what it must feel like for you about now. Like you’re in hell and all alone.”
“What gives you that impression?” Cal dunked a slice of toast into the egg yolk, doing his best to appear unaffected.
“Why else would you come into town? You’re going stir-crazy on that ranch without Jane and the kids.”
“Listen, Wade,” Cal said forcefully, “I wasn’t the one who wanted a separation. Jane made that decision. I didn’t want this or deserve it. In fact, I didn’t do a damn thing.”
His words were followed by silence. Then Wade said mildly, “I’m sure that’s true. You didn’t do a damn thing.”
Cal met his gaze. “What do you mean by that?”
“That, my friend, is for you to figure out.” Wade stood up and left the booth.
* * *
For the tenth time that day, Dovie Hennessey found herself staring at the phone, willing it to ring, willing Jane Patterson to call from California.
“You’re going to do it, aren’t you?” Frank said, his voice muted by the morning paper. “Never mind everything you said earlier—you’re going to call Jane.”
“I don’t know what I’m going to do,” Dovie murmured, although she could feel her resolve weakening more each day. When she learned that Cal and Jane had separated, Dovie’s first impulse had been to call Jane. For weeks now, she’d resisted. After all, Jane was with her mother and certainly didn’t need advice from Dovie. If and when she did, Jane would phone her.
Everything was complicated by Harry Dickinson’s death. Jane was grieving, and Dovie didn’t want to intrude on this private family time. First her father and then her marriage. Her friend was suffering, but she’d hoped that Jane would make the effort to get in touch with her. She hadn’t, and Dovie was growing impatient.
Few people had seen Cal, and those who did claimed he walked around in a state of perpetual anger. That sounded exactly like Cal, who wouldn’t take kindly to others involving themselves in his affairs.
Dovie remembered what he’d been like after his broken engagement. He’d hardly ever come into town, and when he did, he settled his business quickly and was gone. He’d been unsociable, unresponsive, impossible to talk to. Falling in love with Jane had changed him. Marrying Dr. Texas was the best thing that had ever happened to him, and Dovie recalled nostalgically how pleased Mary had been when her oldest son announced his engagement.
“Go ahead,” Frank said after a moment. “Call her.”
“Do you really think I should?” Even now Dovie was uncertain.
“We had two hang-ups recently. Those might’ve been from Jane.”
“Frank, be reasonable,” Dovie said, laughing lightly. “Not everyone likes leaving messages.”
“You could always ask her,” he said, giving Dovie a perfectly reasonable excuse to call.
“I could, couldn’t I?” Then, needing no more incentive, she reached for the phone and the pad next to it and dialed the long-distance number Annie Porter had given her.
On the third ring Jane answered.
“Jane, it’s Dovie—Dovie Hennessey,” she added in case the dear girl was so distraught she’d forgotten her.
“Hello, Dovie,” Jane said, sounding calm and confident.
“How are you?” Dovie cried, unnerved by the lack of emotion in her friend. “And the children?”
“We’re all doing fine.”
“Your mother?”
Jane sighed, showing the first sign of emotion. “She’s adjusting, but it’s difficult.”
“I know, dear. I remember how excruciating everything was those first few months after Mar
vin died. Give your mother my best, won’t you?”
“Of course.” Jane hesitated, then asked, “How’s everyone in Promise?”
Dovie smiled; it wasn’t as hopeless as she’d feared. “By everyone, do you mean Cal?”
The hesitation was longer this time. “Yes, I suppose I do.”
“Oh, Jane, he misses you so much. Every time I see that boy, it’s all I can do not to hug him....”
“So he’s been in town quite a bit recently.” Jane’s voice hardened ever so slightly. The implication was there without her having to say it.
“If that’s your way of asking whether he’s seeing Nicole Nelson, I can’t really answer. However, my guess is he’s not.”
“You don’t know that, though, do you? I...I spoke with Nicole myself and, according to her, they’ve been keeping each other company.”
“Hogwash! What do you expect her to say? You and I both know she’s after Cal.”
“You think so, too?” Jane’s voice was more emotional now.
“I didn’t see it at first, but Frank did. He took one look at Nicole and said that woman was going to be trouble.”
“Frank said that? Oh, Dovie, Cal thinks...” Jane inhaled a shaky breath. Then she went quiet again. “It doesn’t matter anymore.”
“What do you mean? Of course it matters!”
“I made an appointment with a divorce attorney this morning.”
Stunned, Dovie gasped. “Oh, Jane, no!” This news was the last thing she’d wanted to hear.
“Cal made his choice.”
“I don’t believe that. You seem to be implying that he’s chosen Nicole over you and the children, and Jane, that simply isn’t so.”
“Dovie—”
“You said Nicole claimed she was seeing Cal. Just how trustworthy do you think this woman is?”
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