by Zoe Dawson
Staring at himself in the mirror, he noted his haggard appearance, the dark circles under his eyes. He’d been pushing himself with so little sleep for the last few weeks. Now he could rest.
His throat tightened. He would rest much more easily in Emma’s arms. Damn, he wanted her. Even with the pain, his body reacted to the thought of her closeness. As he walked into the open shower, he got an erection, the hard throbbing between his legs making him press his hands against the wall and let the hot water rush over him.
Want her. Want her. Want her.
Then he straightened. Was he an idiot? He hadn’t even spoken to her. Hadn’t said anything or given her a chance to tell him to take a hike. Maybe. He abruptly shut off the water and walked out, drying himself off.
He had automatically receded to the shadows, gone into hiding to lick his wounds when he realized he was no longer that man. Emma was his, and they had something special together. He’d be a complete fool not to give them a chance to work this out. She had told him she wanted him in her life permanently.
He hadn’t given her his answer. Well, he was damn well going back to San Diego and telling her. Telling her he loved her. Telling her that he was sorry, ask her to forgive him. She’d probably said those words in the heat of the moment. If he’d been thinking straight, he could have been in her arms right now.
Swearing softly, soaking wet, he headed for his closet, then realized he was dripping all over the floor. Swearing even louder, he headed back to the bathroom and grabbed a towel.
He heard something and came out of his bedroom. “Mrs. Carbuncle?” he yelled. But there was no answer. He must be hearing things. He dried off as he walked back into his bedroom. Pulling open the closet, he grabbed a pair of baseball-inspired gray sweatpants with black and yellow banding at the waist and the knee. He shrugged into a yellow polo and grunted when he pulled it over his head.
Grabbing his wallet and keys, he headed for the door. Downstairs, he went to step onto the wide porch, but stopped dead when he saw a women’s tank top covering the WEL of his welcome mat. He looked up and froze. On the newel post at the bottom of the stairs was a…bra. He closed the door and walked down the stairs, picking up the lacy nothing by its strap. He brought the concoction to his nose and breathed deep. His heart lurched and his eyes popped open.
Emma.
Then he spied the shorts on a bush leading down his path to the beach. When he followed it, he saw a pair of matching panties hanging from a palm frond. He gripped his side as he sped up.
When he hit the sand, he saw the top of her coppery head, lying prone in one of his beach chairs. For a moment he couldn’t breathe; he couldn’t move.
“This was your fantasy, Derrick, and you’re just going to stand there like a dummy? It was no easy feat to fly to the mainland and hire a small plane to fly me here.”
He expelled a breath, rubbing at his eyes, his shoulders tight. Then he felt her hands curl around his wrists. He opened his eyes and she smiled, snapping his world right back into place.
His voice thick, he said huskily, “Emma, I love you. I was coming to tell you that.”
She tilted her head, leaning heavily into him. “Nice opening, but then, you are a charming bastard.”
He wrapped his arms around her, so thankful. “I thought you said you would never forgive me.”
“If you had waited until I finished my sentence, you would have heard it right. I said I would never forgive you if you died. I love you, Derrick, so much. I was more afraid of losing my independence than I was in letting go and trusting you. I understand why you wanted me out of it. You were more highly qualified and pulled it off without a hitch.”
“There was one hitch.”
“What?”
“I got shot.”
Her mouth dropped open. “And you’re standing here letting me prattle on. Holy cow, sit down.” She led him to the lounge chair, and he sank down on it. She sat down next to him. “Shouldn’t you be in the hospital?”
“No. I think I’m healing as we speak. You’ve healed me, Emma. You gave me what I needed to let the past go and move forward in the future out of the shadows and into the light. I never want to let you go.”
“You don’t have to. Ask me now what I want to do with…” She kissed him softly “…this.”
“Tell me what you want, babe. I’m all ears.”
She leaned over and kissed him again. “You. Me. Permanently. Working together to make a future for us. That’s what I want.”
“Look at that,” he said softly. “We’re both on the same page.”
“I’d say you were a tad overdressed.”
“I’ve been, uh, shot.”
She pulled his shirt over his head. “I’ll be gentle.”
“It hurts, Emma.”
“I’ll kiss it and make it better.” He shut up after that and let her pull down his pants and underwear. He kicked off his flip-flops and stepped out of the material.
“You said something about slow, sweet love in the surf. Let’s go try that out. I’ll take good care of you.”
When they stepped into the warm ocean, she pushed him down. “Hmmm,” she said with a catch in her voice as she straddled him. “Just the way I like you. Flat on your back and under my mercy.”
“You promised to be gentle.”
“I did, but I didn’t say anything about not torturing you.”
“Oh, damn,” he whispered. “What a way to go.”
Epilogue
One month later
“I’m not so keen on goats.”
Derrick glanced at his son. Just after he and Emma had reconciled, he got word that Afsana, her husband, Raffi, and their two children, Israr and Emad, were in terrible danger. The terrorists they had worked so hard to put away had fragmented into a splinter group and were now aware of her part in bringing down their leaders. They were now after them. Derrick, the Kaczewski brothers, Tristan Michaels and Robin took care of that threat, and the family was given asylum in the US.
After a harrowing few days, Afsana, Raffi and the kids were now in the States and Afsana and her family were safe. Derrick found them a farm near San Diego, which they filled with goats. Derrick had shown up in their small town while tracking Navy SEAL Dexter Kaczewski and Senator Piper Jones; she had gone missing while visiting her wounded brother. That had seemed like a lifetime ago, before he’d met Emma and had fallen deeply in love with her.
Israr had asked so many questions because of their resemblance to each other. Afsana had confirmed that Derrick was his father, deciding that lying to her son wasn’t healthy for anyone involved. Once they were in the States, Afsana had told Derrick that Israr wanted to get to know him, and now, here they were on their second outing.
“These are the kind that you can comb and make sweaters out of their hair,” Derrick said. He switched the tackle box to his other hand and opened the gate to allow them to take a shortcut across the meadow, where cashmere goats cropped grass. With the threat to their lives, Afsana had to leave all her own animals behind in their small village.
Israr rolled his eyes. “Sounds like it’s more than just feeding and milking now.”
Derrick laughed. They had just recently been down to the pond to fish, something Israr loved. After being in an arid country, Israr was thrilled to be this close to not only the pond, but the ocean. His brother Emad loved to watch the surfers. Austin had promised him lessons and that kid was over the moon.
He and Israr were feeling their way through this new relationship, as it had only been two weeks since they had to flee Afghanistan. They went through the gate that led to the main property and stopped at the barn to put away their fishing poles and tackle. The string of catfish needed cleaning as well.
Afsana and Raffi had been grateful and generous in allowing Derrick to visit often, not only to see how they were doing, but to start getting to know his son. Both Israr’s parents had been open to the idea, understanding that it was both Israr’s and Derrick’s right to take this ste
p.
Of course, the boy was only nine, and his understanding about grown-up situations was limited; the strife of war and unrest had already touched him. But here, Derrick was certain he and his family could live out their lives in safety and peace.
He set the fish on the board to fillet them. Rolling up his sleeves, he thoroughly cleaned the area and reached for a knife while Israr stood next to him.
“So, other than goats, how do you feel about going to school here?” He started cutting the catfish, one after the other.
He shrugged. “I went to school in Afghanistan. Not so hard.”
Israr and Emad both spoke very good English. Afsana had taught them herself, making sure her sons were fluent. Maybe it had always been in the back of her mind that she would have to leave someday. He wasn’t sure.
“I don’t want this to be uncomfortable between us, Israr. You can ask me questions and I’ll try my best to answer them.”
“Mother said this is painful for you, and I shouldn’t be too intrusive.”
He finished the last of the fish and went to the small sink and washed his hands. Drying them, he turned to Israr. “It is painful for me. How much has your mother told you about the situation?”
“Only that you and she were close but that she loved me and wanted me.”
Derrick leaned back, his heart contracting. “I worked for the government. That’s all I can tell you about that. What I did was secret.”
Israr nodded. “I know.” His dark eyes met Derrick’s. “Did you want me?” The tentativeness in Israr’s voice made Derrick’s heart contract even more.
Derrick took a breath, all the remembered pain from his childhood echoed in Israr’s voice. “Yeah.” Impulsively, he dragged the kid against him and wrapped his arms around him. It felt so good to hold him. “I wanted you. But the circumstances were dangerous.” His arms tightened as he cupped the boy’s head. “Your mom and I, we were in love. I was reckless and should have been more careful. I couldn’t be there when you were born or acknowledge you because of that danger. Do you understand?” He released Israr, but gently held him by his upper arms, crouching slightly so he could look him in the face. His voice uneven, he clenched his jaw. “It’s important that you know I wanted to be part of your life, but I couldn’t.”
For a moment Israr searched Derrick’s eyes, his young face pinched, moisture glistening in his blue depths. Then his face cleared, and he said, his voice stronger, “I understand. We can be together now. Know each other.”
“Yes, that is a promise. We’ll be friends since you already have a mom and a dad. I’ll be here as much as you want. It’s up to you.”
“I want that, Derrick. Would it be okay if I call you Mal?”
“That’s friend in Pashto.”
Israr nodded. “Yes, but to me, it means more. ‘Derrick’ seems too formal.”
“Mal it is, then.”
Derrick straightened. “Let’s get these fish into the house.”
With a smile, Israr grabbed the cooler and Derrick slipped his arm across the boy’s shoulders.
Later, after the celebration dinner, Derrick found Emma standing on the edge of the property looking up at the night sky. “Hey, what are you doing out here?”
“Taking in the scenery and enjoying the night.”
There was a burst of laughter from the house and Emma gave him a soft smile. “They are settling in very well.”
He nodded as he came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her, pressing her back to his chest. Burying his face into her hair, he breathed in her unique scent.
“How do you feel about all this? Afsana and I were in love and now I’m helping to support her family with the son we made together, both boys now a part of my life.”
She turned in his arms and cupped his face. “I think that it’s wonderful that you’ve gotten the opportunity to know him. It’s tragic what happened, and it’s going to be a transition for them to get acclimated to the States, but I’m fully with you on this. I want you to be happy, and I know that our love is strong and true. What we have isn’t diminished by what you and she had.”
He kissed her softly, her warm lips responsive. “You are amazing,” he said, pressing his forehead to hers. “Thank you for understanding how much this means to me.” Derrick looked at Emma and tightened his arms around her. “I’m totally all right with it. He’s close, and they’re safe. That’s all that matters.”
She nodded. “I love you, Derrick.”
Now seemed like the right time. He was going to take her to a fancy restaurant to do this but after the crisis with Afsana, he just didn’t see the need to be anything but honest.
He cupped her face and said, “I love you, too. Will you marry me?”
She gasped when she saw the ring box he pulled out of his pocket.
“Derrick…” She threw her arms around his neck, her shoulders shaking.
He cupped her head, his heart rolling over. “Don’t cry, babe. This was supposed to make you happy.”
She released him, tears streaming down her cheeks. “I am happy. These are happy tears, you beautiful man.” She kissed him on the mouth, the salt of her joy mingling in with the sweetness of her kiss.
Contentment flowed over him as he slipped the ring on her finger. His life had changed so much in such a short time. He now had everything he’d ever wanted: his son, the job that challenged and fulfilled him with an awesome team, and the woman of his dreams agreeing to be his for the rest of his life.
No more shadows, no more hiding and no more pain. It was pushed out by the bliss filling his chest as much as Emma filled his arms.
A month later, they were married on Tucked Away Cay with their family and friends all around them.
Afsana sought him out as he was watching Lily and Emma play in the surf with Matty during the reception.
“Thank you for saving us.”
“Of course. I meant it when I said you could depend on me.”
She nodded, looking pensive. “I loved you so much, Derrick. I would have been willing to do anything. But saving so many lives—there was really no choice.”
“I know. You have been such an amazing asset. And I loved you so very much.”
She linked her arm with his. “But now we’re content. Are we not?”
“We are.”
“I can see that you love her as much as I love my Raffi.” She looked at him, her face serious. “Now that there are no constraints, you can get to know your son.”
“I can.” Derrick smiled, feeling as if the last thing he’d been missing in his life had clicked into place. He looked out to where the two boys were laughing, helping their father grill hamburgers and hot dogs.
“He wants to get to know you,” she said softly.
“That means everything. He wants to call me Mal.” Derrick’s heart tightened. To get this chance to nurture this relationship with his son, to get to know him—he was overcome for a moment.
Later on that night, after everyone had left the island for the mainland, Emma snuggled up to him. “Are you sure you don’t have a white horse stashed away somewhere?”
“Yeah, I confess, I’ve got it in the same place with all the shiny armor. Now, stop talking, Mrs. Gunn, and kiss me, or this knight will perish from the loneliness.”
“Oh, you’ll never be lonely again,” she whispered and kissed him.
She was right; he’d found the life he’d always wanted, with the warmth of friends and family and the love of his life. He wasn’t alone anymore, no longer a lost boy. He’d discovered himself in Emma’s arms, and they would keep each other safe for the rest of their lives.
Don’t miss the next exciting NCIS series novel, Protecting Jenna, where Austin Beck comes face to face with the woman he was never able to forget. Now Jenna is in danger, and he is the only man up close and personal to keep her safe. But there is so much in their past and future that could break their fragile bonds. Will they be able to overcome the dark force shadowing he
r, their tumultuous past and make it to happily ever after?
About the Author
Zoe Dawson lives in North Carolina, one of the friendliest states in the US. She discovered romance in her teens and has been spinning stories in her head ever since. Her heroes are sexy males with a disregard for danger and whether reluctant, gung-ho, or caught up in the action, show their hearts of gold.
Her imagination runs wild with romances from sensual to scorching including romantic comedy, new adult, romantic suspense, small town, and urban fantasy. Look below to explore the many avenues to her writing. She believes it’s all about the happily ever afters and always will.
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