My Blood Approves

by Amanda Hocking

  “Always!” Jack beamed, suddenly bursting into the kitchen wearing a fresh tee shirt and shorts.

  “And behave,” Mae warned him as she walked past him. “I mean it.”

  “Yeah, yeah,” he muttered. When she had her back to him, he stuck out his tongue at her. Then he waltzed over to me, grinning like a fool. “I am so glad you know. Do you have any idea how hard it is keeping anything from you?”

  “Not really, no.” I still didn’t know everything, but it didn’t bother me anymore. Jack was in an incredibly good mood now, and it was taking me over as well. “Do you have any idea how hard it is to have things kept from you?”

  “Yes!” Jack insisted, still smiling. “Ezra and Peter keep stuff from me all the time. They think I’m too young for anything. If they had it their way, I probably still wouldn’t know that I was a vampire.”

  “You’re forty?” I wrinkled my nose.

  “Does that freak you out?” He held his chin up high, checking for my response.

  “No. It doesn’t. I know that this all should completely freak me out, but it doesn’t. I feel stupidly safe with you.”

  His lips curled mischievously, and I knew that I had accidentally dared him to scare me. He twirled the stool around so my back was to the island, and then he stood in front of me, placing his arms on either side of me, trapping me between him and the island. His face was right in front of me, and his eyes were dancing.

  “What about now? Are you scared?”

  “Nope. Am I supposed to be?” I smiled back at him.

  “You probably should be.” His voice had gone low and husky, and his eyes were almost translucent as he studied mine.

  Then I saw his eyes lower, looking at my neck, and my heart, beating of its own accord, sped up. I breathed in deeply, and he smelled so clean, like Ivory soap and mint toothpaste. His expression changed, growing more somber, and his face inched closer to mine.

  - 14 -

  “You can hear my blood,” I said softly. He didn’t answer but slowly pulled his eyes away from my throat so they met mine again. His hunger rolled off him, filling me with a strange desire. “What does it sound like?”

  “It sounds like…” He let out a breath that sounded suspiciously like a moan. “…music.”

  “What does it feel like?” I whispered. “When you’re bitten? What would I feel?”

  His eyes got that wistful look, almost like the one Ezra had when he thought about Mae, and my heart fluttered. A look of pleasure passed over Jack’s face, and for a moment, I felt flush with the warmth of his hunger and adoration.

  “You…” He exhaled deeply, then smiled sourly. “… really need to get going.” Abruptly, he pushed back from me and turned around, walking away from me. The sudden shift, along with the lingering desire, startled me.

  “What? Why?” I jumped off the stool and scampered after him. “It’s not that late.”

  “No, it’s not,” Jack agreed, continuing out into the garage. I caught the door before it swung shut and ran after him. “But I only have so much will power left.”

  “You can bite me if you want,” I offered helpfully. I knew he really wanted to, and it didn’t really seem like that big of a deal if he did. “I want you to.”

  He stopped in front of the Jetta, and I stood a few away from him, watching him. He laughed darkly and turned to face me, scratching the back of his head and smiling incredulously.

  “You’re killing me here!” Jack shook his head, then pointed his keys at me as he walked towards the car door. “You are far more dangerous than I am!”

  “What?” I demanded. He had stopped at driver’s side door, and I looked over the top of the car at him. “Why won’t you do it?” His desperate want made me want him too, and I didn’t understand why he wouldn’t just bite me.

  “I just can’t, Alice.” His expression was grave, and he dropped his eyes from mine, looking rather ashamed. “And if you’re not going to stop, then I’ll have Mae give you a ride home.” He shook his head. “I won’t be able to say no.”

  “Fine, I’ll drop it.”

  Grudgingly, I opened the car door and got inside. A few seconds later, Jack got in and started the car. I could feel how much he wanted me, the deep hunger brewing painfully inside of him, and the shame at feeling that way. I sat in silence, feeling embarrassed tears sting my eyes.

  “Are you crying?” His breath caught in his throat. “Why are you crying?”

  “Is there something wrong with me?” I wiped at my eyes.

  “What are you talking about?”

  “There has to be something wrong with me. Peter can’t even be around me, and you can’t do it either. Is my blood like poison or something?”

  “Oh my god, Alice.” He rubbed his temple, laughing emptily. “You have no idea what you’re doing to me.” He looked over at me again and shook his head. “I can’t even take you home. I can’t even-” Then he just turned and jumped out of the car.

  “What?” I scrambled out after him, wondering what I had done to drive him away. He stood just outside the car, trying to shake it off. “What did I do?”

  “You’re not poison! You’re the opposite of poison!” Jack exhaled, but it was more like he was gasping for air. “I can’t be in that car with you. You did this thing to me and I need to get back down, but you’re so…” He shook his head, unwilling to say it aloud.

  “I don’t understand. If you want me so much, then why can’t you just have me?” I felt what he felt, so I wanted what he wanted. It was raw and pure and so intense it was suffocating.

  “Alice…” He had his hands on his hips and he let out a shaky breath. “Peter would kill me. He would literally tear me to shreds. He wouldn’t want to, but he would.”

  “What? What does Peter have to do with this?”

  I thought of Peter, feeling strangely excited by the fact that he would express jealousy over me, and my heart sped up. Jack’s face contorted miserably, and he shook his head.

  “You’re thinking of him. You’re fucking thinking of him.” He clenched his fists.

  “I’m sorry!” I cried, trying to slow my heart down. Jack looked as if I was actually killing him, and his agony ripped through me. “Can’t you just bite me and make this stop?”

  “Alice!” Jack lamented. “He is my brother! And you are his! You belong to Peter, not me!”

  “What are you talking about?” While there was something very thrilling about his words, I felt like I had been slapped in the face. “You picked me out for Peter?”

  “No, I had no choice in the matter. None of us did.” He looked away from me, but I could see his face breaking. “It’s the blood. Your blood, his blood. They react to each other. It’s why you get all crazy when you think about him. And it drives me crazy because it’s in my blood too.”

  Everything that happened with Peter had felt so physical because it was. There was a chemical reaction between us that I couldn’t explain. But then I had started thinking about it, and it was more than Jack could take, so he rushed past me and into the house.

  “Mae!” Jack shouted when he got inside. Stupidly, I kept following him. Part of him wanted me to, because so much of him still wanted me. “Mae!”

  “What?” Mae rushed into entryway, wrapping a bathrobe tightly around herself. Then she saw his pained expression, and her face went pale. “Jack, you didn’t.”

  “Just get her away from me!” Jack snarled, and I saw there were tears in his eyes.

  “Just go upstairs,” Mae nodded. “I’ll take care of her.”

  “I’m sorry,” I mumbled through my own tears, but Jack was already gone.

  “Did he bite you?” Mae rushed over to me, inspecting my neck much the same way Jack had the day before.

  “No,” I shook my head fiercely. There was a loud banging upstairs, and Mae looked apprehensively at the ceiling.

  “Come on. We need to get you out of here.” She put her arm around me and started ushering me out to the garage.
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  “You’re wearing a bathrobe.”

  “He can’t take much more, love,” Mae whispered. The Jetta was still running, so we got inside of it and pulled out of the garage.

  “I’m sorry,” I repeated.

  “Oh, love, it’s really not your fault,” Mae smiled reassuringly at me. “Jack should know better, but he’s still so young.” She reached over and stroked my hair. “It’s really not so bad. Honest.”

  “I feel what he feels,” I said quietly. “I know how hard that was for him. I felt how much he wanted me, so … I wanted him to, and I was making it harder.”

  “You what?” Mae looked at me with a startled expression on her face. “You feel what he feels?”

  “Yeah,” I nodded. “Is that okay?”

  “It doesn’t matter if it is or not if that’s the way it is,” Mae replied matter-of-factly and looked straight ahead.

  “He told me that I’m meant for Peter.”

  “I thought he might,” Mae sighed. Then she smiled at me again. “You would’ve found out eventually. We just didn’t want to surprise you with too much new information, especially with Peter being the way he is.”

  “If I’m supposed to be for Peter, then how come Jack is the one that wants me around?” I asked. “And why didn’t Peter just bite me? Why did he run away?”

  “Peter is a very complicated man, but he’s a good man.” She swallowed hard, and I could tell there was something she was still keeping from me. “And Jack is very young. And they may not seem like it lately, but they were very close to each other.”

  “Would Peter really kill him if he found out Jack bit me?”

  “Yes.” She licked her lips and refused to look at me. “And he would know. It’s not something you can hide. He could smell Jack on you.” Then she turned to look at me. “So if something happened, I need to know, so I can try to protect you both.”

  “What do you mean? Peter would kill us both?” For the first time since meeting Jack, I felt really scared for my safety. “I don’t understand. If I am meant for Peter…. None of this makes sense, Mae!”

  “As soon as I drop you off, I’m going to call Ezra and make him come home to sort this all out.” Her eyes filled with tears and she gripped the steering wheel. “I should’ve never left you alone with Jack. He’s just been alone with you so much, but I knew things were changing.”

  “He didn’t bite me. Honest,” I tried to reassure her.

  “Everything’s still getting out of control. I told Ezra not to go. That everything is different this time.”

  “This time?” I asked.

  “Not right now, Alice.” The car suddenly jerked to a stop, and I realized we were in front of my building. I had been so wrapped up in my thoughts that I hadn’t even noticed it. “You need to go home, and Ezra or Jack or somebody will be in contact with you tomorrow.”

  “How did you know where I lived?” I looked over at Mae, but she just stared straight ahead.

  “I have to get home and take care of Jack before he hurts himself.”

  “He might hurt himself?” I gasped.

  “I have to go!” Mae pleaded. “We’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay?”

  “Okay, go!” I jumped out of the car and watched her speed off, praying Jack wouldn’t do something stupid.

  Everything about me felt so confused and jumbled, and I collapsed onto the cold sidewalk and sobbed.

  One hot bath, two pm Tylenol, and a hot tea and brandy (courtesy of Milo and my mother’s alcohol cabinet) later, I managed to fall asleep. Milo saw the wreck I was when I came home, and I promised him that I would tell him another day, but I couldn’t muster the strength to do it then.

  When I woke up, my pillow was soaked, and I knew I had been crying in my sleep. Milo informed me that I’d been moaning all night long, but thankfully, he couldn’t understand anything.

  I stumbled around the house most of the day, and I’m surprised that I didn’t bump into any objects. Milo forced me to eat, but swallowing felt like a massive chore.

  I put on comfy sweats and a tee shirt and didn’t even bother with showering. It would be too much work, and I didn’t even know if I’d see Jack or Peter today. There was a very good chance that I’d never see either of them again. Peter had run away, and Jack…

  “Alice, I don’t think you should go over there anymore.” Milo stood next to the couch, frowning at me. I had curled up in a ball and stared blankly at the TV with my phone gripped in my hand. “You keep coming home looking completely drained. I don’t know what they’re doing to you, but it can’t be good.”

  “You should see what I do to them,” I mumbled.

  “What?” His brown eyes were filled with concern, so I just looked away from him.

  “Nothing.”

  “Alice, I’m serious.” Milo had that parental vibe going on, and normally, I’d cave under it, but I was too numb to react to anything. I just pulled the blanket up over my head so I wouldn’t have to look at him.

  Eventually, he walked away, and I stayed buried underneath the covers. The horrible truth was that I didn’t really want to be alive anymore. Last night had devastated me too succinctly.

  Everything was confusing and it hurt, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that this was all some kind of bad dream.

  Then, my phone played “Time Warp” and my eyes snapped open.

  Ezra’s back. He’ll be there to pick you up in fifteen minutes.

  Why not you? Are you okay? Is everything alright? I demanded, feeling my heart race painfully.

  I’m fine. Ezra will explain more. I’ll see you soon. Jack messaged me back, but I still felt relieved.

  “You’re not going over there!” Milo watched me as I pulled on my Famous Stars and Straps zippered hoodie, the one I had worn the night Jack had been attacked by that dog.

  “Yeah, I am,” I replied flatly, searching around for my shoes.

  “Dressed like that?” Milo asked in disbelief.

  “Yeah.” Finally, I found my shoes and slipped them on. “Things have changed. I don’t need to impress them anymore.”

  “Are you like breaking up with them or something?”

  “I don’t know.” I hadn’t really thought about me not choosing to see them, but as soon as I did, I dismissed it. It would be impossible for me to ever end things with them. I was inexorably tied to Peter, and I’d probably fallen in love with Jack.

  “We have school tomorrow!” Milo called as I opened the door.

  “I don’t care,” I said and then left.

  - 15 -

  Ezra didn’t drive quite as fast as Jack, or maybe he felt it was more polite to actually give me time to get ready. Either way, I beat him outside.

  I sat on the curb, shivering in the cold and trying not to envision the worst, when he finally pulled up in the Lexus. I had never been in the car, but I recognized it instantly from the garage.

  “I hope I didn’t keep you waiting long,” Ezra smiled warmly at me when I got inside. He saw me shiver, so he turned up the heat. “Let me know when it gets warm enough for you. We don’t really feel the cold the way you do.”

  “Okay.” The seat felt warm and comfortable, especially after freezing on the curb, and I sunk deeper into it.

  “How are you doing?” Ezra asked sincerely, and I tried to answer him as honestly as I could.

  “I’m… absorbing a lot of things. Is Jack okay?”

  “Yeah, he’s fine,” he nodded. “He just needed some time to get himself together.”

  “Is he going to be okay being around me again?”

  “Yes. Last night, there were a lot of emotions going for you both. It’s very new territory, for all of us, and there’s going to be some missteps.” He spoke evenly, and his deep voice managed to soothe me in a way that had been lacking since I came home last night. “But you both will have to be more careful around each other. It should be easier now that you’re both aware of the limitations.”

  “I hope so.” I pulled my
sweatshirt tighter to me, even though I wasn’t cold anymore. “Is Peter back?”

  “Not yet. But he will be soon.”

  “Jack said that I’m meant for Peter. What does that mean?” I looked over at Ezra, and half-expected him to give me the same run around as everyone else.

  “Mythology has set us up to be extreme loners, but at our core, emotionally, we’re very human. We desire companionship, but ours has to be more selective.” As he spoke, he kept one hand on the wheel, while the other one bobbed a silver ring over his fingers. “Our blood is almost magnetized to our – for a lack of a better word – soul mates. We feel it intrinsically when we find each other.”

  “Is Mae your soul mate?” I asked quietly.

  “She is.” His eyes had that faraway look again, and the corners of his mouth curled up ever so slightly. “I lived 255 years before her, but now, I couldn’t imagine existing a single day without her. I even ‘dated’ before I met her, but it was impossible to make lasting relationships. That was part of the reason that I turned Peter. I was desperately lonely, and he traveled around with me for awhile. But then he met his mate.”

  “Wait,” I interrupted. “I thought I was Peter’s ‘mate.’”

  “I told you this was new for all of us,” Ezra looked over at me. “Peter met a vampire named Elise, and they were together for only a brief time. Maybe ten or twenty years. He knows it to the exact day, but he never speaks of it.”

  “What happened?” I glanced out the window, and I realized we weren’t taking the normal route to his house. In fact, if my guess was right, he wasn’t taking me anywhere near their place. “Where are we going?”

  “I thought it would be better if the two of us had some time to talk before we went back.” Ezra must have read the confusion on my face because he continued. “Some of this would be better if Jack didn’t hear.”

  “Oh,” I said. Jack had mentioned that they didn’t like to tell him anything, and he wasn’t kidding. “So what happened with Peter?”

  “Elise was killed.” Ezra heard my sharp intake of breath and smiled humorlessly. “Fighting broke out amongst vampires, arguing over who had control over a certain area. Vampires are notoriously territorial and possessive, but then again, so are humans, and in most ways, we are just heightened versions of yourselves.”