by Hanna Ruthie
I smile at her, running my thumb over her hand. “We’re here to pick the flowers, not the weeds.”
“That’s the one,” she sighs happily. She closes her eyes and rests her head back. She seems content. She seems at peace with all of this. I wish I could be. I don’t know if I ever will be. I don’t think I can be.
Chapter 10
Matthew Steele.
I sit down at our table in the library, Josie’s eyes large and expectant. As soon as I drop my bag to the floor she speaks.
“So, tell me, how’d it go?” She wonders anxiously.
I groan. “That was the hardest fucking test I’ve ever taken.”
Josie’s mouth falls into a frown. “Oh no.”
“Oh no is right. I was asking around, and everyone did terrible.”
“Did she at least curve it?” Josie asks.
I scoff. “Yeah she did. By a generous three test points.”
Josie slouches in her chair. “What’d you get?”
“C+. It brought my grade up by one percent.”
Josie shrugs. “Okay well that’s not so bad.”
“Maybe it wouldn’t be if she ever put anything else in the fucking gradebook! But she doesn’t! It’s just test, quiz, midterm, test, test, final.”
“Let’s not lose hope, we still have a test and a final to work with,” she replies, always the optimist.
“I guess you’re right,” I grumble.
“There you go! See, things are looking up.”
I squint at her, not a fan of the power talk. She puts her hands up in surrender.
“Why are you so happy?” I murmur, taking out my notes for our next unit.
“Well, since you asked, I finally snagged a second job!”
“Great,” I reply gruffly, not really caring.
“Yeah, I thought so. Anyways, what’s our next unit for bio?” She asks, flipping through the bio textbook in front of her. The same one she always grabs for our sessions.
“Unit five.”
She flips through the book, landing on the unit. “Ohh, Molecular Genetics. This should be interesting.”
“Oh goody.”
She gives me a look telling me to cool it. In response I sulk, leaning back in my chair and crossing my arms over my chest. Semester’s more than halfway over and my grade is still fucked. Which basically means for Josie and I, we start all over again.
* * *
Chris, Thomas, and I jump out of the truck one by one, walking in The Burger Joint and filing into the large booth in the back where we always sit after a Friday game victory. Once we’re all settled, our server comes over.
“Hey hey look who it is,” Thomas says.
Chris jabs me in the side and I clench my jaw looking up at our server. Josie.
Joise?
Josie?!
“Hey guys,” she says, smiling, setting down the menus.
I’m sitting at the edge of the booth and I don’t miss the white apron that hangs around her waist, filled with straws.
“Can I get you guys something to drink?” She asks.
Usually when we go out, the general consensus is beer, but Thomas gets water, and I can tell he’s surprised when I get one too.
She leaves and comes back in a few minutes with a tray full of drinks. She sets them down gently and I see a look of pain cross her face quickly. She covers it well and I watch as she grabs her arm and rubs the skin above her wrist.
“Are you guys ready to order, or do you need a little more time?” She asks.
The guys all decide they’re ready and begin to order. Meanwhile, I’m distracted watching her arm and how she’s holding it gently as she writes down our orders in her small notepad. I snap out of it when she gets to me.
“Hamburger and fries?” She asks, remembering my order from the last time we were here.
I nod, my expression blank. “Sure.”
She takes all our menus, wincing as she balances them on her arm, and we all say thank you as she walks away. I watch her as she goes back over to the counter. She drops off the menus and stands there, facing away from us as she rubs her arm.
Thomas clears his throat, getting my attention. “What’s the deal with her?” He asks.
I shrug, shaking my head. “What do you mean?”
“She’s cute,” Thomas says, taking a sip from his water.
“Hot,” Chris corrects. “You should be hitting that,” he says to me.
Thomas smacks the back of his head. “Do you have to be so crude all the fucking time?”
Chris ignores him, pushing his finger into my chest.
“She came over to our table Matt, I wouldn’t pass that up if I were you.”
I smack his hand away. I’m with Thomas on this one, even I have a limit.
“She’s my fucking tutor,” I respond. “Besides she’s not like that.”
“What do you mean?” Asks Chris.
Thomas smacks him upside the head again. “She’s total relationship material, dumbass. Not everyone just wants to get laid all the time.”
Chris sits back against the booth, looking like his ego has been bruised.
“I didn’t know she worked here. I’ve never seen her here before,” Thomas says.
Me either.
“Yeah, she works two jobs,” I reply, acting as if I’ve known this all along.
“So what’s the deal with you two? Are you into her?” Thomas asks.
“I just told you she’s my fucking tutor. Besides, what’s it matter to you anyways?”
He shrugs. “I might go talk to her sometime. She seems nice.”
She is nice. I bristle a little from his words. I feel… possessive. And I have no right to be. Thomas is a good guy. He would be good for her. But he’s also a good friend, and I know if I tell him to back off, he’ll listen.
“I’d rather you didn’t,” I mumble gruffly.
Chris slaps me on the shoulder. “Holy shit! Matty here is calling dibs!”
“Fuck off Chris,” I say, shoving his hand off of me.
I look over at Thomas. His expression is one of intrigue but he puts his hands up in surrender.
“Sure man. I’ll step off.”
I shift in my seat, giving him a nod. When I look back over to the counter, I see that Josie’s still rubbing her wrist.
“Excuse me,” I say to the guys.
They hear me but ignore me as I stand up. I head over to the counter where Josie stands and clear my throat to make myself known. She turns around and puts on a smile when she sees it’s me, dropping her arm.
“So, this is your second job?”
She nods. “Yeah, it’s the only place I could find that was hiring. I hope it’s okay. I don’t want to intrude on your territory or anything.”
“My territory?” I ask, with a laugh. “I’m not a fucking bear Josie.”
“No, no, I know!” She says, flustered. “I just meant… well this is kinda your place. And I didn’t want to take that away from you. I know you probably don’t want to see me out of the library.”
I shrug. “It’s fine.”
“I wasn’t sure if I should tell you. But then I figured, I’d just wait it out and see if a time ever came when our paths just crossed, and well… here we are.” She laughs nervously, touching her wrist again.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, nodding to her arm.
“Oh,” she shakes her arm, pretending to laugh it off. “Just a little sore, that’s all.”
I shake my head, looking at her arm again. It’s red where she’s been rubbing it.
“You’re lying,” I state. “It’s hurting you.”
Her smile falls and she shrugs, looking away from me.
“Let me look at it.”
She looks up at me. With hesitation she lifts her wrist into my hand. I slide into an open seat at the counter, and pull her wrist close, examining it. It only takes me a few seconds to see that it’s red and inflamed.
“You’ve got to get this checked out
,” I tell her. “Something’s wrong.”
“No, I know what it is,” she replies.
I release her wrist from my grasp. “What is it?”
“It’s poison ivy. I went on a hike.”
I raise my eyebrows to her. “You went on a hike?”
She sighs, rubbing her forehead. “Cammy, she said she missed seeing wildflowers. I went to the woods to pick her some and… poison ivy.”
I nod in understanding. “You know, I have some shit you can put on that. I got it from the drug store a while back, it really helped me.”
“Really?” She asks. “Oh that would be great. It’s so itchy and it stings really bad.”
“Yeah I’ll bring it on Wednesday if you think you can manage ‘till then.”
She pauses, biting her lip. “I’ll tell you what. If you bring it to the library on Monday, I’ll give you a free tutoring session.”
I listen to her proposition and nod my head. “Works for me if you can wait ‘till then.”
She nods fervently. “Yes please. I can last, I just have to stop scratching it.”
Behind Josie, a bell rings and she turns.
“That’s your food,” she announces with a smile.
I nod and head back to the table. Josie brings our food over, makes sure there’s nothing else we need and then heads off. I eat my food with Thomas and Chris, talking about the game we just played, and won.
But my eyes check in on Josie periodically, sneaking glances, making sure she’s holding up okay with her wrist. There’s one point when I look over at Josie while she’s wiping the counter. Our eyes meet immediately, and I swear I feel something in my chest tighten. She was already looking at me. Knowing she’s been caught, she looks down and I think I even see her blushing a little bit. I don’t let it show on my face, but inside, my stomach squeezes. I continue with my burger as Chris works through his third beer. Not long after, we’re all sitting around and laughing when Josie comes over.
“This one’s on me guys,” she says.
Thomas’ mouth drops open. “No way, really?”
She nods.
“Josie-” I start.
“I owe Matthew anyways,” she interrupts. “I skipped out on one of our tutoring sessions. I figure now is good a time as any to pay him back.”
Chris holds his hand up to high five Josie. She hits it with a giggle.
“Thanks girl!” He says, buzzing a little bit from his beers.
“No problem,” she replies.
She looks over to me and I give her a nod, an unspoken thank you. She nods back, smiling. Even for Josie, this is nice as shit. She needs this money and she’s spending it on me and my teammates. Someone calls her back behind the counter and she leaves to go help out. Thomas, Chris and I make our way out of the booth. Chris pummels through the door, heading to the truck. Thomas and I however, seem to have slightly better manners, and head to the counter where Josie’s wiping down the surface with a rag.
“We just wanted to say thank you before we left,” says Thomas.
Josie looks up at us and smiles. “Oh of course! It was my pleasure, really.”
I glance over at Thomas, handing him the keys, and give him a look to get lost. He clears his throat, swinging the keys around his finger.
“I’ll go get the truck started,” he says. He waves to Josie one last time and heads out the door. Now it’s just Josie and I, alone on opposite sides of the counter.
“I really appreciate that you did this for us,” I say. I look down at the counter, feeling a little awkward. Josie and I haven’t exchanged many pleasantries like this. It feels… different.
“Like I said, my pleasure.”
I nod, patting my hand on the counter. “We always come here after a game victory so I’m sure you’ll be seeing more of us around.”
Josie smiles. “I hope so, it’d be nice to have a few friendly faces in here.”
I smile again and nod my head to her red and irritated wrist. “Take good care of that,” I say.
She puts her wrist up on the counter and laughs lightly. “I’ll try my best.”
Josie jumps when the horn from the truck goes off, signaling me to hurry it up. I look out the window and see Chris waving me out, Thomas trying to push his hand down. I look back at Josie. She’s watching me.
“You’re good to get home right?” I ask.
She nods. “Yeah, I’m good.”
I pull out my wallet, opening it up and placing down a big tip. I don’t know why I do it, and Josie catches me.
“Woah,” she says. There are two fives on the counter and she tries to hand one back to me.
“It’s okay,” I say. “I meant to.”
She hesitates, but takes the money, tucking it into her apron.
“Thank you,” she says.
I nod, feeling awkward all of a sudden. Why did I do that? A ten dollar tip? Not smooth. And is this what I’m trying to do now? Be smooth? I walk out, not looking back. I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing.
Chapter 11
Josie Virginia.
Come Monday, I wait eagerly at the tutoring table, hoping Matthew will show soon with the medicine he promised. My wrist is killing me. I relax a little when Matthew comes into sight. He’s wearing a grey hoodie, his hands stuffed through the pocket in front. There are black trainers on his legs and he wears Adidas sandals over a pair of black socks. He looks like an athlete. A very tired athlete.
“Did you bring it?” I ask Matthew as soon as he sits down.
He raises his brow to me and nods. I haven’t been able to stop scratching at this stupid poison ivy rash all weekend. It’s burning.
He sits, opening his bag, and pulls out a small bottle of some green looking gel. He hands it over to me and I open it up immediately, lathering it on my wrist generously.
“Jesus Josie,” Matthew says, looking at my skin, red from being scratched.
“I know, I know, I don’t even want to hear it,” I respond, rubbing the gel into my skin. “I’m already getting scolded enough from my sister.”
Matthew reaches into his bag, pulling his notes out. “How’s she doing?” He wonders.
I massage the gel into my wrist as best I can, thinking back to my last conversation with Cammy. However happy she was when she saw the blue wildflowers was immediately trumped by her concern and disappointment that I had gone and given myself a poison ivy rash.
“She’s okay,” I reply softly.
It’s the best I can give him. She’s really not okay, and I think he gets that. But it’s better than saying she’s suffering, or dying, or both.
Matthew nods his head, opening his notebook. I look at the bottle he gave me, turning it over in my hand so I can look at what it actually is. A question pops into my head as I read over the ingredients.
“So when did you have a brush in with poison ivy?” I ask.
Matthew, all set up and ready to go, taps his pencil against his notebook. He looks up at me to answer the question. “Couple years ago. I went to a lake with some of the guys on the team. I kinda just hung out on the shore and put my feet in. But my dumbass didn’t realize that I was standing next to poison ivy the whole time.”
I hold back a laugh. I can’t decide who’s story is more pathetic. He notices my expression and chuckles.
“At least I wasn’t picking flowers,” he mumbles.
I laugh a little and put the bottle to the side. “Well, hopefully it’ll be a little better by tomorrow.”
“What’s tomorrow?” He asks.
“This really nice girl Emily in my trig class invited me to a party. I think it’s at one of the frat houses.”
Matthew releases a sharp laugh. I stare at him, confused at his reaction. He raises an eyebrow to me.
“Oh you’re not seriously considering going, are you?” He asks.
I sit back in my chair, crossing my arms over my chest. “As a matter of fact, yes I am. I don’t get to go out and have fun very often. I thought it might
be a nice break.”
Matthew points his pencil at me, an amused look on his face. “I wouldn’t go if I were you.”
“Why not?”
His Adam’s-apple bobs as a chuckle rumbles in his throat. “Have you ever been to a frat party?”
I shift in my chair. “Well… no. But there’s a first time for everything.”
Matthew looks down at his paper, laughing at me. “You shouldn’t go Josie. You won’t like it.”
“How do you know?”
“Because it’s not your scene. I’ve been to plenty and they’re hardly my scene. I think you’ll have nightmares.”
I roll my eyes at him. “I’m not a kid. I’m twenty one Matthew. I can handle a party.”
Matthew looks up at me again, his brow still raised. “You’re really going?”
“Yes Matthew, I’m really going.”
He eyes me carefully for a moment, seeing that I’m serious. Slowly, his amused smile falls.
“Don’t drink anything those guys give you.”
“Yes, thank you Matthew, as I’ve already said, I know how to handle myself.”
He shakes his head. “You say that but… you shouldn’t be hanging around those guys.”
I roll my eyes again. He’s being ridiculous.
“Those guys are bad news Josephine you shouldn’t be anywhere near them.”
I release a sharp laugh. He even pulled out the full first name, Josephine!
“Oh my God, listen to yourself! You’re not my Dad Matthew!”
“Josie, I’m serious. Those guys are assholes.”
“Oh and you aren’t?” I shoot back.
A frustrated growl comes out of Matthew’s throat. The sound actually scares me a little, but I refuse to back down.
“Listen to me,” he says. “Those guys aren’t the type to take no for an answer.”
“Who says I’m going to tell them No?” I ask.
Matthew rolls his eyes. “Yeah right.”
“Why is that so far fetched?” I ask. “I’m human Matthew, I have needs just like everyone else. Every once in a while I’d like to feel good.”
“You’re making a mistake,” he grumbles.