by Melody Sweet
After lying straight to his face, twice, I'd gone into turtle mode; that was what my dad used to call it.
“Watch out,” he'd say, “Ella's in turtle mode again.”
It was my way of dealing with things. When something got on top of me, I found it easier to just close off the world, hide inside my shell and keep my lips sealed. I'm sure Mom and Dad used to bet on who could get me to open up first. They had their different prying techniques, and one of them would always break me.
That was now Morgan's job, but like hell I’d let her in on this.
She knew something was up. She'd start working me soon, getting under my skin with her little comments. I remained in her grace period for now, but the expiration date loomed near.
Cole had popped around twice this week. The first time, he'd made the mistake of identifying himself. I'd jumped back from the door and crept to my room, hoping he would think I wasn't there. After five minutes he gave up. It was a double-edged sword of disappointment and relief that tore through me as I listened to him walk away.
The second time, Morgan had answered the door, and I hadn't been there. He'd kept his mouth shut about why he wanted to chat to me, and when Morgan asked me about it, I hedged big time, which was why I knew she was getting ready to yank my head out of my shell and make me talk.
She said she wanted a girls' night this weekend, and I had no choice but to agree. I was sort of dreading it, but maybe it would be a relief to get it all off my chest.
My phone vibrated inside my jeans pocket, and I stretched my leg to pull it out. Hiding it under my desk, I read the text and pressed my lips together.
We have to talk about this. You can't keep ignoring me. Please. Just one conversation.
I squeezed the phone in my hand, knowing Cole was right. He’d been texting me daily, and I’d quickly deleted each one.
I couldn't see him.
Not because I didn't want to. We did need to talk this out some more, try to find some even ground we could walk on. David’s suspicions would grow if he could never get the two of us together again.
I was just afraid that if I was alone with Cole for even a minute, I’d lose all self-control.
David deserved my loyalty.
I couldn't break his heart and run off with his best friend. That was all kinds of wrong.
I wouldn't be that girl.
No, there was nothing we could do. I just had to stay away from Cole until I was over him...then David and I could get on with his plans for our future.
Damn it, that sounded so wrong.
Why was I staying with David?
I knew in my heart I should have been rehearsing my break-up speech, but every time I imagined it, my insides turned to ice. I couldn't look David in the eye and finish a three-year relationship; the very idea was petrifying. I loved him.
Yes, Cole did things to me, but did that give me the right to break David's heart? I couldn't hurt him. I couldn't do it.
Swiping my thumb over the screen, I pressed the red delete box and Cole's message disappeared.
28
Cole
I muttered a curse and dumped my phone onto the bar.
She still hadn't replied. I'd been checking my phone all damn day and nothing.
How could she be so stubborn?
We had to talk this through, even if the outcome wasn't what we wanted. Now that I was over my shock, I was levelheaded enough to recognize that we needed to exchange serious words.
It wasn’t like I was going to ask her to dump David and move in with me. Although I would’ve loved that, I wasn’t a heartless bastard.
I just missed her, and getting back to being friends was better than nothing. I wasn't dumb enough to think that things could ever be the same. There would forever be a slight discomfort between us now. I wanted her. Bad. And I couldn't help wondering if she wanted me too.
But she was loyal.
David would win this one. She certainly wouldn’t break up with him to be with me. No, if she ever did decide to leave him, it had to be for her.
My phone dinged, and I nearly tripped over myself getting back to the bar.
Malachi chuckled as he sat down the other end, going over some paperwork.
I hurried to unlock my phone and my shoulders slumped as I read the text.
“Not the one you were hoping for, eh boy?”
“Nah,” I sighed. “It was just Quinn letting me know about that swing band. They're playing at a club on Saturday night. I'll pop down and see if they're a good fit for here.”
“A swing band? In this place?”
“I've heard really good things about them. Maybe they can do a mellow jazz set.”
“Oooo, that sounds divine.” Nina closed the door to their apartment and shimmied across the empty floor. “I can just picture it. A few Louis vibes floating through the room. Do they have a female singer?”
“Not sure.” I shrugged. “I guess I'll find out this weekend.”
Nina headed to the stereo system, picking up the iPad and scanning for a playlist. Moments later, Ella Fitzgerald started singing “Summertime,” and I wanted to curl into a ball and die. I could imagine my Ella nailing this song.
“Not your Ella, you asshole,” I muttered.
“What did you just say?” Nina's green eyes rounded.
“Nothing.”
Her red hair spilled over her shoulder as she tipped her head to the side and looked at me. Approaching me cautiously, she held out her hand. “Dance with me.”
“Not today, Nina.” I pressed my back against the bar.
“Cole Reynolds, when a lady asks you to dance, you don't say no.” Malachi dropped his pen and glared at me.
With a sigh, I took Nina's hand and let her guide me to the dance floor. Taking her into my arms, the way she showed me how, I took the lead and we began a slow shuffle across the wooden floor.
“Tell me your woes.”
“I really don't want to talk about it.”
“That may be the case, but you need to. So spill.”
I squeezed her hand and pushed her away for a slow spin before bringing her back to my side.
“I'm falling in love with a girl I can't have.”
Nina's lips twitched. I could tell she was reining in a full-blown smile.
“It hurts, Nina.”
Her green gaze filled with affection. “Why can't you have her?”
“Because she's with David.”
“Are you talking about that gorgeous little thing that was here a few weeks ago? She stayed to help us clean up.”
“That's the one.”
“I liked her.” Nina's freckled cheeks rose with a smile.
“There's no point in you doing that.” I dipped Nina then pulled her back up and spun her away from me. “She's pretty loyal to the guy.”
“Do you think they're suited?”
“No. He doesn't see her. I don't even think he knows that she can sing like an angel. She's with him, but it's like she's afraid to give him everything. I don't—I don't know if I'm just saying that because I want her with me.”
“But she's opened up to you.”
“Sometimes I wonder if I know her better than he does...and they've been together for three years now.”
“So why does she stay with him?”
“Beats me!” I huffed.
“Do you think she likes you, too?”
I paused, looking down at Nina, my smile broken. “I thought I felt a connection, but maybe I was wrong.”
“You're not. I saw it when she was here that night.”
“She's not mine, Nina.” My voice broke. “And now I don't want anything else.” I dropped her arms and paced away from her. “That woman I left with the other night, I couldn't go through with it. I don't want casual sex anymore, and thanks to you guys and your crap about being a team and building your dreams together, that's all I want! You guys totally screwed me over!”
Nina looked at Malachi, who gazed back at her be
fore letting out a loud guffaw. “Oh, you've really got it bad, Boy-o.”
“Shut up, Malachi. This frickin' sucks.”
“Mac the Knife” started to play, and I grabbed Nina up again. I'd take this upbeat tune over the melancholy crap any day. Nina wouldn't take her eyes off me as I held my head high and tried to avoid her gaze. As the song drew to an end, I dipped her and she caught my gaze.
“Life has a way of working out, Cole. God's not into torturing people.”
“Do you always have to bring your faith into every conversation?” I drew her north with a hard snap before letting her go.
“It's part of who I am, so yes. I do.” She put her hands on her hips.
“Well, you're wrong about the torture thing, because He's put me through plenty.”
She sighed, her expression growing even more tender. “I know you haven't had the easiest life, but good things have come for you too.”
“How is this good?” My voice wobbled as my eyes started to burn. I pressed my thumb and forefinger into my sockets, forcing the feeling away.
Nina's hands landed on my arms, gently rubbing my taut biceps.
“You know when you first came to us and you were this hurting, lost kid?”
I glanced at her.
“I fell in love with you instantly, Cole. I saw something so precious in your gaze. It helped me hold tight when you had those tantrums and that time you tried to run away.” She chuckled. “Do you remember what I used to say to you once you'd calmed down?”
I looked to the floor, squeezing the back of my neck. “You said that sometimes we have to wade through the muck to reach higher ground. You promised me that I would find my way.”
“And you did.”
I snickered, resting my hands on my hips and clenching my jaw. “I don't feel like it right now.”
“Honey, you know I would never wish any kind of heartache on you, but you have to believe that something good is going to come out of this. You'll eventually reach your higher ground, and you'll be stronger and wiser than you were before. There's always a bigger picture in play. You have to cling to that hope.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know.” I flicked my hand dismissively and then shot her an apologetic smile. With a slow nod, I let out a sigh. “She feels so right for me, Nina. She's my one, and I can't have her.”
“You can't see into the future. Who knows what a little patience will achieve.”
“Good things come to those who wait, right?” I rolled my eyes.
“Well, and to those who fight for it.” She grinned. “She's obviously not ready for you to do that yet. You just need to bide your time. Accept where she's at.”
“But what if she just lets David keep controlling her future? What if she doesn't figure it out?”
“Cole, you have to trust that if she's meant to be yours, she will be...and if there's someone better for you out there, then your feelings for Ella will fade.“
I couldn't imagine it, not for a heartbeat. The second I worked out that she and my songbird were one and the same, I knew...right down to my very core. Ella was the girl for me.
29
Ella
Morgan still hadn't said anything. It made me nervous. It was Saturday night and we were supposed to be hitting the town, just me and her. That was what she’d said anyway. She was being way too mysterious for my liking. I expected pajamas, ice cream, and some serious conversation, but she pulled out my dark purple dress that was more like a sleeve with straps and told me to fancy up.
“I'll be back in an hour, and we can finish getting ready together.”
She slipped out before I could ask where she was going.
I now stood in front of my mirror in nothing but my black panties and bra, carefully applying eyeliner.
The front door jiggled and I dropped the stick, smearing black ink down my hand. Glancing out into the living area, I was about to demand Morgan tell me where I was going when my voice evaporated.
Dumping the eyeliner on my desk, I raced into the living room with a squeal.
“Jody!”
We wrapped each other in a tight embrace, laughing and jumping around in a circle.
“What are you doing here?” I held her at arm's length, drinking in her sunny smile and bright green eyes.
“Morgan called an SOS. She said you guys needed some sunshine...and sunshine is here.” She pointed at herself and wiggled her eyebrows.
I burst into laughter and pulled her into another embrace.
“Now, I can only stay for one night, so we have to make it count.”
“Where are we going?”
Morgan dumped Jody's bag next to the couch and grinned at me. “You're gonna love it.”
“Hells yeah!” Jody lifted her arms into the air and swayed her body.
“Dancing? We're going dancing?”
“Not just any kind of dancing.” Morgan beamed. “Brad's a bouncer tonight at this club in town. They've got this amazing band playing, and he's already promised me he'll get us in.”
“Are you and Brad back together?”
Morgan blushed, wrinkled her nose and then tipped her head to the side. “Maybe?”
“Morgan.”
“No, I know, I know, it's just...I've missed him so much more than I thought I would, and I just want to give it one more try. I don't want to walk away from something that is maybe right for me, and Brad finally suggested he might be willing to consider living somewhere other than his home town after graduation, so...” She gave me a gleeful smile.
I grinned back, happy for her. They did seem good together. There was definite chemistry between them. My smile faltered, my own woes crashing back over me.
Morgan's face crumpled with concern. “But this night is not about boys. It's about the Terrible Trio going out to have a little fun.”
“It's time to shake our asses,” Jody sang, making us all giggle.
“Let's suit up.” Morgan clapped her hands and I rushed back into my room.
Eyeing the purple dress on my bed, I wrinkled my nose and turned back to my closet. Flicking through the hangers, my hand landed on the dark red dress I'd bought on a whim last year. The fabric was silky soft and draped my body perfectly, but the main reason I’d fallen in love with it was the knee-length skirt. It was a twirly dress, and I had only worn it once since Jody made me try it on. We'd gone out that night and twirled on the beach, looking ridiculous, but feeling freer than birds as our skirts spun wide in the night air.
Stepping into the snazzy number, I called Jody to help zip me up. The dress sat really low on my spine, exposing my back.
“Take your bra off.” Jody tittered. “The strap runs right across your back. It looks awful.”
I did as commanded and wriggled out of it, throwing it on my bed before doing a slow spin and then clutching my breasts.
“How am I going to dance without a bra?”
“You’re not that big.” Jody’s eyes rounded. “No offense.”
I poked my tongue at her and she giggled. “Well, do a few moves, see how it feels.”
I jiggled around, feeling like a fool and soon crumpling into fits of giggles on the floor. Jody pulled me back up, her own limbs weak from laughter.
“I think you’ll be fine.” She brushed the tears from her eyes. “Do you remember that night at the beach?”
“Yeah,” I giggled. “I haven't worn it since.” I bit my lip. “I don’t think I’ve laughed this hard since then, either.”
“Ah! You look so hot!” Jody stepped back from me and clapped her hands before reaching into the closet and pulling out my strappy sandals.
“There's no way I can dance in those.”
“Come on. They suit the dress perfectly.”
“Jody.” I grabbed her shoulders. “I need to dance tonight.”
“You need to dance?”
“I need to dance.”
Her expression softened as she took in my serious gaze. Her hands touched my elbows. “What's going on?�
�
“Please, don't make me talk about it right now. I have to switch off.”
“We just hate seeing you being eaten up like this. You have to tell us what's wrong.” Morgan's head popped up behind Jody's.
“Turtle Mode for two weeks is way over the limit. You better fess up in the morning or I'm gonna have to give that butt of yours a spanking.” Jody pointed her finger at me.
I snickered and shook my head, not missing the worried glance Jody threw over her shoulder.
“I guess we'll just have to get you drunk then.” She shrugged, making me giggle as Morgan's head began to shake.
“You know what, Morgan, getting drunk sounds brilliant right now.” I tipped my head.
She rolled her eyes and gave me a pointed look. “All right, maybe one drink, but no more. We're going there to dance, not get wasted.”
“That's right.” Jody mocked Morgan's motherly tone. We both laughed while Morgan huffed off to finish getting ready.
Jody dropped the sandals back into my closet and pulled out my white pumps with the gold edging. “Stylish, yet comfortable.”
“Perfect.”
As soon as we were dolled up, we snapped a quick selfie and headed out the door. Heads turned as we giggled our way down the corridor, but I barely noticed. I was with my girls, and tonight I wanted to forget that men even existed.
The club was humming when we arrived. Brad waved us straight through, giving us all appreciative smiles. Morgan planted a grateful kiss on his lips and promised him a proper thank you later. I looked away from their hungry gazes and made a face at Jody. She licked her upper lip and did a sexy little shimmy, giving me the giggles.
Man, I didn't need alcohol when I was around Jody. She made me drunk on laughter alone. We pressed our way through the crowds and found ourselves a table that looked out over the dance floor. It was a prime spot that had just been vacated. We dumped our stuff and hit the dance floor immediately.