She watched me leave, her gaze boring into me, heating my backside all the way down the hallway until I entered the workout room.
Damn. She was a distraction I didn’t need. I would have to do my best to stay away from her as much as possible. The last thing I needed was lusting after my daughter’s nanny. She was off limits. My employee.
I had to remember that she was here for Hazel. And nothing more.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Anna
My heart raced as I watched Jacob walk away. There was something incredibly raw and powerful and sexy about a dangerous, half-naked man. I don’t know what it was, but witnessing the coiled strength in him, seeing the danger lurking so close to the surface had not only frightened me, but awakened my femaleness to an all new level. Damn, that man was hot. He was like the beast that could never be tamed. The wild stallion that could never be broke. The wildfire that could never be contained. He stirred forbidden longings in me that I didn’t even want to contemplate. What would it be like to try to tame a man like him?
Heat scalded my cheeks. What was I thinking? He was my boss.
I was so grateful he had given me this job. I didn’t have a college degree. I couldn’t afford college even if I wanted to attend, which I did, desperately, but circumstances had never allowed that for me. I’d always wanted to be an elementary school teacher. Homeschooling Hazel would give me an opportunity to try out being a teacher. Maybe someday it would happen for me for real.
If I hadn’t been a nanny to the Blythe children, then I wouldn’t have been able to get this job as a nanny to Hazel now. I was happy with where I was in life. At least for the time being.
Thirty dollars an hour was probably more than I’d make anywhere else. Besides, I liked Hazel. I had a feeling I would enjoy working here and taking care of her. But her father was another matter. Who was he and why didn’t he want me to know? He had changed the subject when I’d asked who he was and why he thought Hazel would need so much protection. He hadn’t answered when I’d asked why he carried a knife. What did he think I would do with the information if I knew? If he was some gang leader or a drug lord or something, would I tell the authorities?
I didn’t know. I would have to wait until I got to know him a little better before I figured out the answer to that question. I certainly didn’t want to be associated with someone who was involved in illegal activities. But just because he was dangerous and hadn’t told me why he thought Hazel needed so much protection didn’t necessarily mean he was a criminal. Maybe he was a cop working undercover. That would explain the dangerous vibe he gave off and why he worked nights. And why he didn’t want me to know who he was.
Cops don’t carry knives, do they? And the way he’d moved so fluidly, yanking that knife free, told me he knew exactly how to use that knife. A shiver swept through me, a mixture of fear and excitement.
I sighed as the sounds of him working out reached my ears from the other end of the house. It sounded like he was running on a treadmill now. An image of that hard, muscular body in motion made heat pool in my core. Holy hell, when I’d come upon him lifting those weights, I’d nearly passed out from his hotness. All those hard muscles tensing and straining, his biceps bulging from the weights. He was definitely the most masculine man I’d ever met—and the most handsome. Jacob did something to me deep inside, made my heart race, and my core throb with longing. I don’t think I’ve ever been so attracted to a man before.
There was a definite attraction brewing between us. I flushed, recalling how embarrassed I’d been when I discovered he’d heard me muttering under my breath. Now he knew I thought he was hot.
I would have to keep my distance from him at all costs. And do my best not to let him know how much he affected me. The last thing I needed was to lust after my boss. That would be totally inappropriate. I was his daughter’s nanny.
I had to remember that I was here for Hazel. And nothing more.
CHAPTER NINE
Jacob
An hour and a half later, I finished my workout. I liked to push myself in every workout, going until the burn in my muscles became unbearable. No pain, no gain. I usually tapped out at an hour and a half to two hours. Sweat dripping down my body, I headed for the shower. The burn felt good today. It helped push aside my unwanted attraction to Hazel’s nanny.
When I emerged fifteen minutes later in a clean pair of jeans and a T-shirt, Anna and Hazel were sitting on the living room floor with a board game on the carpet between them. I went to the kitchen and removed a water bottle from the fridge, gulping it down. Then I noticed the list Anna had left on the kitchen counter. Curious, I picked it up.
Pants, shorts, leggings, underwear: size 5
Shirts, tops: size small
Bras: size 34B
My jeans grew tight at the thought of her in nothing but a bra and underwear. I didn’t know anything about bra sizes or panty sizes. How big was 34B?
Shit, don’t even wonder that, asshole. She’s off limits.
Anna was slender and curvy, though not voluptuous. Everything about her screamed “feminine” and I hadn’t been able to get her out of my head since I’d opened the door to her this morning. I needed to stop thinking about her as anything more than my daughter’s nanny.
The rest of her list included shampoo and conditioner, razors, cherry Chapstick, a brush, a hairdryer, toothbrush, tampons, scented lotion, perfume, makeup, bath soap…
I tried not to think of all those feminine things in my house, all those fruity, flowery female smells filling up the spare bathroom. I’d never lived with a woman before. Celia was the only woman I’d been intimate with in my life. She’d introduced me to sex at the facility when I was sixteen and had been the only woman I’d been with since. Celia had been my friend, my confidant. She’d offered a temporary reprieve from the violent life The Company had forced upon me. I’d never stayed with her any longer than necessary, knowing better than to become attached to a whore. Even so, I suppose I’d felt a certain amount of affection toward her, and I think I may have even been in love with her in those early days when she first introduced me to sex. Celia had been ten years older than me before The General murdered her to force me to help him get to Tracker. She’d been a kind, giving lady, an expert in the bedroom. I’d learned a lot from her. I hadn’t been with a woman since Celia’s death. Anna’s presence was making me aware of how long it had been.
Anna…
I glanced across the room at her where she sat on the floor with Hazel. She smiled at something my daughter said, her eyes sparkling with genuine caring. Anna was the real deal. I felt it deep in my bones. She was a good person. The sun filtered in through the window behind her, lighting her hair, giving it a golden hue, and making her look like an angel in my living room.
Shit, she was gorgeous. Soft and feminine and so genuinely caring, so nurturing with my kid. She was the type of girl who deserved marriage and happiness, lots of babies to care for. Anna was the type of woman who would make a great mother. The kind of mother I wish I’d had.
I jerked my gaze away. Snatching up my cellphone from the counter, I called Marg and asked her if she could go shopping for some things. She promised she’d be over in ten or fifteen minutes. One of the advantages of living in a small town was that it didn’t take long to get from one place to the next.
I strode into the living room and paused before Anna and Hazel. “What are you two up to?”
“Playing Sorry,” Hazel chimed in her sweet voice. “Wanna play with us?”
“Sorry?” I quirked a brow. “What is that?”
Anna chuckled. “It’s a board game, silly. It was in Hazel’s closet. Haven’t you ever played with her before?”
My face heated. “No.” I’d shoved Hazel’s toys and games that had been at her mother’s in her closet right after we’d moved in and hadn’t really paid much attention to what was in there.
Anna looked at me as if I was daft. “Seriously?”
Damn her,
why did she make me feel like an incompetent, pathetic excuse of a parent?
Because you are.
“I…don’t know much about kids,” I mumbled, glancing out the window.
Anna eyed me a moment, then shook her head. “Don’t you think it’s time you learn? Hazel’s not getting any younger. And you’re here now, not doing anything else. Come play with us. Come be a father.”
My face grew hotter. I glanced at Hazel, who looked up at my shyly, no wariness in her gaze for once. Then she slowly grinned. “Come on, Daddy. Come play with us.”
My breath caught. Had she seriously just invited me to play? The kid who was terrified of me? Anna was already changing Hazel, helping her to open up and be herself. For a moment, I was so stunned, I couldn’t respond. I was positive Hazel wouldn’t be inviting me to play with her if Anna weren’t here encouraging her to do so.
I cleared my throat, then sat awkwardly next to Hazel on the carpet across from Anna. Anna’s gaze met mine and she smiled warmly. “What color do you want, Jacob?”
I glanced down at the different colored pieces. “Blue.”
Hazel snatched up the four blue pieces and handed them to me. The look on her innocent face was one of extreme delight, and it floored me. My chest squeezed. Was this all it took to make her happy? Me playing with her? Why the hell hadn’t I done this before?
“Here you go, Daddy.”
Damn. “Thank you, Hazel.” I hardly recognized my own voice, it was so shaky.
I felt Anna’s eyes on me and darted a glance up at her again. Her gaze softened. “You’re doing great,” she said gently, reaching over to pat my hand. Awareness sparked between us. Heat exploded back up my neck and into my face. I jerked my gaze away.
For the next fifteen minutes, I sat there on the carpet with my daughter and her nanny while they taught me how to play the game. It was a simple game, an easy game. A child’s game. I’d never played any children’s games when I was a kid. My childhood hadn’t been filled with any happy memories. The Company had erased our memories with memory-suppressing drugs that had begun to wear off a few months ago. I now remembered a good portion of my past, and none of it had been good.
“Good move, Hazel!”
I glanced up as Anna praised Hazel. Shit, the more I was around her, the more I noticed little things about her. Her soft voice, her quick wit, the way she laughed easily and joked around with Hazel. I hadn’t had much laughter in my life. Just looking at Anna made me want to smile. And whenever she laughed, I wanted to join in and laugh with her.
Her very presence was doing something to me deep inside, making me want things I knew I could never have. Every time she leaned forward to move one of her yellow playing pieces, my gaze dropped to her cleavage peering at me from the top of her blouse.
Bra size: 34B.
Fuck. This was killing me. I wanted to see those breasts. I wanted to touch them. Kiss them.
Don’t be an idiot. You can’t touch her. Ever.
I forced myself to stare at the game board on the floor and not Anna’s breasts.
“So,” I blurted. “Tell me about yourself, Anna.”
Her smile was as open and honest as she was. “Well,” she began. “I’m an only child. My mother abandoned my father and me when I was six. She took off to the west coast in pursuit of an acting career, and we never heard from her again.” She cleared her throat. “I vowed I would never be selfish like her, which is why I like to volunteer whenever I can, helping others in need.”
I’d never met anyone who was so selfless and giving, who volunteered their time to help others. She was certainly unique. “And where’s your father at now?” I asked, managing to keep my gaze averted from her breasts.
She glanced down at the game board. “He died when I was twelve. A hit-and-run accident.”
Well, shit.
“Sorry,” I muttered, unable to think of anything else to say.
She shrugged. “You didn’t know.”
“So, what happened to you after that?”
“It’s your turn, Anna,” Hazel interrupted.
Anna drew the card off the top and moved her playing piece across the game board before she responded. “I was sent into the state’s foster care system. But I was luckier than most. I wasn’t abused or starved or neglected like so many other foster kids. They bumped me from home to home until finally, after several years, I found a forever home with a sweet, elderly couple who had no children of their own. The Thompsons. They adopted me when I was sixteen.”
She’d been a foster kid, too? That was an unexpected connection I shared with her. At least she’d found a home. Lucky her.
“And where do they live?” I wondered.
“They’re gone, too. They were victims of a vicious mugging the year I graduated from high school. They both died from serious gunshot wounds.”
“Jesus,” I whispered. “I’m sorry. Fuck.”
She reached over and gently squeezed my hand. “Language,” she whispered, nodding at Hazel.
“Oh, right, sorry,” I mumbled, heat washing into my face. I was still trying to remember to watch my language around Hazel.
“So, what about you, Jacob? Are your parents living?”
I pulled my hand from her grasp and stared down at the game board. “I never knew my father,” I admitted quietly. “And I have no idea if my mother is living or not. I haven’t seen her since I was four. They put me in foster care, too. But I wasn’t as lucky as you.”
What the fuck? Had I just admitted that? None of my dreg brothers knew that. Not even Ralph. Something about Anna had urged me to open up to her, even though it went completely against my nature to tell anyone anything about myself. Secrecy was important for my survival.
Never again, you moron. What were you thinking?
The doorbell rang, saving me from having to say anymore. I jumped to my feet in relief and rushed to greet Marg.
I handed Marg the list Anna had created and a wad of cash to purchase the items. Marg promised to be back in an hour or two. I thanked her and closed the door. When I turned back to the living room, Anna and Hazel were putting the game away and getting to their feet.
“Marg said she would be back in an hour or so with the things you requested.”
Anna nodded, her cheeks turning a pretty shade of crimson. “Thank you.”
Bra size: 34B. My gaze darted unwillingly down to the front of Anna’s white shirt, the soft mounds of her breasts taunting me through the fabric, making me want.
Goddammit!
“I was thinking Hazel and I will make a trip to the park for a bit, then be back in time to start dinner.”
I nodded slowly. I didn’t like the idea of Hazel being anywhere out of my sight, but so far I’d detected no threats here in Eatonton.
“That’s fine.” I hesitated. “Please, be careful. And wary of strangers.”
“Don’t talk to strangers,” Hazel chirped. “Danger, danger.”
Anna’s gaze searched mine. There was curiosity there. She wanted to know why I was so cautious, but fortunately, she didn’t ask. “You want to come with us?” she asked.
I shook my head. “No. I’ve got some computer work to do.” It was a lie, but how could I explain why I didn’t go outdoors during the day?
“Okay, then. Don’t worry about us. I’m always careful. I won’t let anything happen to Hazel.” There was such sincerity in Anna’s soft brown eyes that I believed her.
“Thank you.”
Anna reached out and squeezed my hand before heading toward the door with Hazel.
I watched them go, my hand tingling from her touch long after she’d gone.
CHAPTER TEN
Anna
Jacob and I had something in common. We had both been in foster care. He’d said he wasn’t as lucky as I had been. What had happened to him? Would he ever tell me? He’d grown distant after his errand lady arrived, so I hadn’t brought it up again. But, man oh man, I was curious about him.
&n
bsp; Jacob was obviously afraid someone would harm Hazel. I sensed it in his extreme caution. What was he afraid of? Had he done something that might put Hazel at risk?
He’d said Hazel’s mother—his wife?—was dead. Had something terrible happened to her and he feared the same would happen to Hazel? That would explain his caution.
Jacob’s errand lady, Marg, had brought several bags of things for me. I offered to have him deduct those purchases from my first paycheck, but he declined, saying to consider it part of my salary. I now had everything of necessity. Clothes. Toiletries. A room to sleep in. Food to eat. And a sweet little girl to look after. It was kind of Jacob to have Marg buy me things and not expect me to reimburse him for them, and I was very grateful that he’d given me a job and that he trusted me with Hazel. It probably wasn’t easy for him to trust a stranger, but I vowed I would never do anything to betray that trust.
Later that night after I put Hazel to bed, Jacob cornered me in the hallway. “It’s time for a self-defense lesson. I would feel better with you taking Hazel outside of the house if you knew how to defend yourself, and her.”
I nodded slowly, my heart racing. Once again, the man had moved silently, suddenly appearing in front of me. I don’t know how he did that. It wasn’t natural. “Okay. Do I need to change into more comfortable clothes?” As soon as the words left my mouth, I wanted to call them back. What I’d meant was “shorts” or “sweats”, but it had come out sounding suggestive. Heat washed into my face, and I blurted, “I mean, loose fitting clothes like shorts or sweats.”
Something flickered in his eyes that I couldn’t quite decipher. “Yeah, something you can move easily in. I’ll be waiting in the workout room for you.” He turned and left me standing in the hallway.
I swallowed hard. I was nervous about this first self-defense lesson. It would require that I be alone with Jacob, my handsome, dangerous, sexy-as-hell boss. Why did he think I needed to learn self-defense? The still-unknown answer to that question bothered me.
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