These were the thoughts that plagued me during my work out that afternoon. I couldn’t stop thinking about how good she’d felt smashed against me and how much better she would feel if she were naked beneath me in a more private setting, such as my bed. All tangled together.
I spent over two hours working out that afternoon, trying to purge the feel of her from my system. But it was impossible. All I could think about were those soft breasts just aching for my touch, those kissable lips I was dying to taste, that curvy, delectable body I needed to claim. Shit. She was going to unhinge me. I’ve never been so obsessed with a female before.
I decided to keep my distance from Anna for the rest of the night, doing my best to resist the temptation that she presented. But once Hazel was in bed, Anna came up to me while I was in the den on the computer.
“Are you going to give me another self-defense lesson tonight?” She sounded innocent, but when I turned and met her gaze, I swear there was awareness in her eyes, and possibly something else.
Goddammit. I was trying to keep my distance from her, trying to keep this professional. But how could I keep my distance when she sought me out? Did she want to get all tangled up in the sheets with me? Because if she didn’t back off, that was exactly where this was headed. I’d been fighting my attraction to her for over a week. She’d burrowed under my skin, into my head, and I couldn’t push her out.
Why fight it when you want her? Just take her and get her out of your system.
That can never happen.
I rose from my desk, closing my laptop. I’d give her a lesson she’d never forget. Then maybe she’d back off a bit, stay away from me. She needed to be more cautious around me. Just because she was living here, taking care of Hazel, didn’t mean I wouldn’t hurt her.
“Go get changed. I’ll meet you in the workout room in five minutes.”
When she entered the workout room a few minutes later, I was waiting for her. She was dressed in spandex shorts and a sports bra, her long hair pulled back into a ponytail. My gaze raked her figure, noting her perfect curves, her soft femininity. Shit. How was I supposed to concentrate when she distracted me just by being herself, by being female, by simply living?
“Before we get started today, I want you to recall everything I’ve taught you so far. Think about it for a moment. You’re going to need all those lessons today.” I waited a moment. “You ready?”
She nodded.
“Today we will begin with a few new lessons and several mock attacks like before. But at some point, it will turn into a real attack. I’m not going to tell you when. You’ll have to figure that out on your own. I expect you to fight back in any way you can, using all the techniques I’ve taught you. Don’t be afraid to use your strength. Don’t be afraid to hurt me. Treat me like a real attacker. Do whatever you can to fight back. Because if I catch you, I’m not going to let you go. You’re going to have to escape on your own. Got it?”
She nodded and swallowed hard, her gaze never leaving mine. Then she stepped back, remembering to keep her distance from a potential attacker. I circled around her slowly, my gaze locked on hers. She turned with me, watching me closely, her body tense, crouching slightly, waiting for my attack.
I darted forward, twisting my foot around her left leg, tripping her and knocking her onto her back. She cried out and tried to scramble to her feet, but I caught her easily, tossing her down, straddling her waist and grabbing her wrists. She squirmed and fought, but she was no match for me. Or anyone else who might get her in this position.
I lifted her arms above her head. “Now you’re trapped,” I whispered, trying to ignore the feel of her soft body beneath me. “Once you’re in this situation, chances are you will not get away. This is very bad. Anyone who gets you into this position can now have their way with you. You’ve become a potential rape victim.”
Her eyes widened. Her chest heaved with her rapid breaths. “Then what do I do?”
I forced myself to hold her gaze and not look down, not stare at her breasts.
“You don’t let yourself get into this position to begin with.” I released her and bounced to my feet. Shit. I was way too aware of her. I needed to get a grip before this self-defense lesson turned into a completely different kind of lesson. “Get up.”
She scrambled to her feet, her gaze returning to mine. “How, exactly, do I keep from being in that position?”
“If someone knocks you off your feet, try to use your body’s momentum to roll through the fall and jump right back to your feet.” I waved her forward. “Attack me. I’ll show you how to do it.”
She hesitated, then launched herself at me. I let her slam into me and knock me down, immediately rolling sideways and lunging back to my feet. She stumbled forward, landing on her hands and knees. She stared up at me, wide-eyed.
“How did you do that?”
“Just like I said. By rolling into the fall and using my body’s momentum to spring back to my feet. You try.”
I lunged at her. She bounced back, but she wasn’t quick enough, and I took her down. In seconds, I had her pinned beneath me again.
“That was terrible, Anna. You didn’t even try to roll away.”
Color crept into her cheeks. “You didn’t give me a chance to. You’re too fast.”
I snorted and released her. “You think your attacker is going to stop and wait for you to roll away? The idea is to keep from being attacked. But if you do get attacked, then you have to get away before you are overpowered and pinned down.”
She jumped to her feet, the color in her face turning crimson. She lifted her chin. “Let me try again. I’ll do it this time.”
So we went through it again and again. And again. It took her until the fifth try before she managed to roll away and lunge to her feet. But only because I let her. If I was too hard on her, she would become frustrated and give up. I knew. I’d been there. So I let her have a moment of accomplishment to give her some confidence to go into the next lesson. Soon, I wouldn’t be so lenient.
“Good job,” I praised. “You’re getting the hang of it.” She might actually be able to defend herself from a real attacker now. But would she? Would she be afraid to actually hurt me in an attempt to escape? That was where many people failed, because they were afraid to actually hurt another person. In a life or death situation, Anna needed to learn to fight back, and fight back hard. I was probably the most dangerous person she would ever meet, so if she could defend herself from me, then she could defend herself from anyone.
“Now you’re going to learn what to do when an attacker catches you off balance and brings you down. Remember, your goal is to not go down. But we’re going to assume you weren’t able to get away fast enough, and he’s taking you down. So, what you want to do in this situation is drop straight down, as close to your attacker’s feet as possible, and grab his clothing around his chest area with your hands close together. This will knock him off-center and hopefully you’ll be able to pull him forward and flip him over you. But remember if he also grabs onto you as you’re dropping down to get away, then it can quickly turn into a struggle that you’re likely to lose. If at all possible, pull him down and roll away without letting him grab you. Let’s try it.”
We practiced the fall over and over, with Anna grabbing my shirt and trying to yank me down with her. It took her eight tries before she managed to pull it off.
“Excellent!” We both rose to our feet, sweating and breathing heavily. She was a fast learner, though still a bit timid in her attacks. It was time to take this one step further, push her to the limit. See if Anna was capable of defending herself in a real situation. I was about to do something I’d never done before. Something that went against my nature. Though I didn’t want to hurt Anna, this next lesson was crucial. I wanted to test her, see if she could actually defend herself from an attacker. So, I was going to make this as real as possible.
Several tendrils of light brown hair had come loose from her ponytail and s
tuck to her neck. A thin sheen of sweat covered her skin everywhere, and pooled between her breasts, darkening the center of her sports bra. I imagined dragging her into the shower with me, stripping off the tight-fitting spandex, and rubbing my hands all over her, kissing her everywhere.
Drawing in a deep breath, I shoved the image from my mind. So far, I’d mostly managed to keep focused on the lessons and not on her delectable body.
Stay focused a little longer.
“Now we’re going to escalate the situation, make it more dangerous.”
She nodded, her gaze never leaving mine. I moved forward swiftly, tripping her. She rolled her body forward like I’d taught her, but I went with her, rolling on top of her, and pinned her beneath me. She gasped, then fought and squirmed, lifting a knee to aim for my groin, twisting her body sideways, clawing at my face, trying anything she could to wiggle free. I avoided the groin attack, settling heavily on her stomach, and turned my face away from her clawing hands. Finally, I managed to capture both her wrists and force them above her head, subduing her. She glared up at me, her eyes wide, her chest heaving.
“You failed, Anna. I caught you. Now I’m going to have my way with you.”
Her pupils dilated, her gaze filling with sudden awareness. Shit. I wasn’t expecting that. How could I teach her a lesson when her actions indicated she wanted me as much as I wanted her?
Holding both of her wrists with one of my hands, I looked into her eyes. Then, slowly, I trailed my finger down her neck and in between her breasts.
She gasped. Her breathing quickened.
“J-Jacob. Okay. You proved your point. You win. Let me go now.”
I shook my head. “I told you if I caught you, you would have to escape on your own. So escape, Anna. Remember the lessons. Get away from me. Or I’m going to hurt you.”
A mixture of fear and panic flashed in her eyes. “You wouldn’t.”
“No? I told you I was dangerous, that I could hurt you. I wasn’t lying.”
She swallowed hard and squirmed in my hold. “Let me go. Please.”
Fuck. It was that last word, that softly spoken plea that pulled at my humanity—or what was left of it. I didn’t want to hurt her, not even for a lesson. I didn’t want to taint her goodness with something violent or painful that might traumatize her.
But she wouldn’t learn anything if I just let her go.
I held her gaze, not relenting an inch. “If you want to escape, then get away. You’re not even trying. If I were a real attacker, you’d be fucked right now. Literally. He’d be taking you by force, violating you, while you laid there and sobbed instead of trying to get away.”
Color crept into her cheeks. She squirmed again, bucking against me, her anger slowly overtaking her fear. “Get off me!” she snarled. Then she managed to pull one of her hands free. Well, actually, I let her. This lesson was scaring her a bit more than I’d intended, but I wanted to put her in a realistic situation to see how she might react. And now, finally, she was starting to fight back.
She jabbed her fingers at my face, aiming for my right eye. I turned away to avoid getting my eye poked out, and lifted myself off her just a bit, enabling her to wiggle sideways and push against my chest. She kept pushing and pushing, and I rolled away to set her free, letting her think she’d done it on her own. She kept pushing forward, rolling with me, shoving me back on the floor, her eyes wild, adrenaline pushing her on.
Pride swept through me. She was amazing. I’d just taught her that when pushed hard, she could do anything.
She straddled my hips, glaring down at me, her hands wrapping around my neck. She didn’t try to strangle me—not that I would let her if she tried—but she pressed her hands against my throat in a valiant show of threat.
I lay there, holding back a smile, my arms at my sides, and let her feel like she’d won. It wouldn’t take much to dislodge her, but I was feeling guilty for scaring her, so I stayed put, letting her feel powerful. She would need to feel that power if she were to ever believe she could get away from an attack like that again. In order to build her confidence, I had to make her feel like she’d won.
Besides, I liked the way she felt on top of me, her legs wrapped around my waist, her ass pressed snuggly against my lower abdomen. If I were to move just a bit, my groin would come into contact with hers. An image flashed through my mind, Anna and I tangled together, wrestling across my bed, with no clothes in the way. Just skin against skin.
“You let me do that.” Her words jerked me out of the fantasy.
I looked up into her face. “Maybe. But you learned that when faced with danger, you can fight back.”
She leaned away, letting go of my neck, her gaze latching onto the scar across my throat. “Your scar…what’s it from?”
I hesitated, then decided to tell her the truth. It would make me appear scarier. “Bullet.”
Her eyes widened. She swallowed hard. “Someone shot you in the neck? Who are you?”
I didn’t answer. I wasn’t about to let her probe into my past. “Do you feel powerful being on top?” Though all I’d intended was to make her feel confident, it came out sounding suggestive instead.
Her face stained with color. “You changed the subject.”
“Yes. Who I am is not important. It’s best that you don’t know. You did well tonight. You got away from an attacker. You can do anything you want if you put your mind to it.”
She flushed, glancing down my torso and back up. Then she pushed away from me, rising to her feet. “You scared me,” she admitted, turning her back to me. I had noticed that she joked around when she was nervous, but there had been no joking tonight. I must really have scared her.
Guilt trickled in. I jumped to my feet. “I know. I had to scare you to make you realize what you were capable of. When we are pushed to the limit, it forces us to act. You’re stronger than you realize.”
She shrugged, turning to meet my gaze. “Would you really have hurt me if I hadn’t gotten away?”
Hell no. The idea of harming her in any way made my stomach churn with revulsion. But she needed to be afraid of me in order to protect herself. She needed to believe I would hurt her.
“Possibly.” I held her gaze, hoping she would believe the lie. “Like I said, I’m dangerous.”
She lifted her chin. “I don’t believe you. If you were going to truly hurt me, you wouldn’t have let me go just now. But I do think you’re dangerous. Just not to me. And someday, Jacob, I’m going to find out who you really are.”
With that, she turned and left the room.
I let out a soft groan, staring at the empty space where she’d just been.
I had planned to teach her a lesson she’d never forget.
Instead, I’d discovered something I’d never forget.
No matter how dangerous I was, I could never hurt Anna.
Ever.
She got to me in a way no woman ever had before. She made me feel things I’d never felt before. She made me want things I didn’t deserve, things I could never have. I’d only known her for a little over a week, but she affected me in ways I had never dreamed possible.
I might be the Phantom of Death, a lethal killing machine. But to Anna, I was harmless.
I was fast losing the battle to keep my distance from her. I was breaking my vow to keep our relationship strictly professional.
I was hot for the damn nanny.
And I wouldn’t be satisfied until I had her.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Anna
I went into my room and closed the door. Then I practiced the moves Jacob had just taught me, dropping and rolling, throwing mock strikes into the air and imagining I was hitting an attacker. As I swung and rolled and leapt back to my feet, over and over, I pondered on what had just happened with Jacob in the workout room. He’d taught me how to defend myself in many different ways now, shown me all the vulnerable areas of the human body. I was gaining confidence, even though he’d let me escape there at
the end. Which made me more determined to escape on my own the next time. He’d scared me when he’d pinned me down and said he could have his way with me, because he’d been right. I had been helpless and if he’d been a real attacker, I likely would have been raped and possibly killed. I vowed I would get better. If someone actually did attack me someday, I would escape.
I swore the sexual awareness between us was growing stronger with each day. Jacob oozed sex appeal. I’d been so turned on when he’d first pinned me down that I hadn’t even thought to try to escape. Instead, I’d imagined him kissing me, running those sexy lips all over me, touching me with those large hands that I had no doubt would know just how and where to touch a woman.
I groaned. I’d never felt this all-consuming attraction to a man before. If he wasn’t my boss, I wouldn’t be fighting it so much. But he was my boss, which meant he was off limits. God, it was so hard to remember that when I was around him.
I fell back on my bed and imagined him kissing me, touching me. I moaned and let my hand wander down my body, pretending it was him.
The back door closed.
I jerked upright, my cheeks flushed, feeling as if he’d just walked in and caught me touching myself, dreaming about him. Oh God, that would be mortifying.
There was no way I could sleep now when I was all hot and bothered with thoughts of him. I left my room and went out into the hallway, contemplating.
Muffled voices from outside caught my attention. It sounded like the voices were coming from out front. I hurried into the living room and peered out through a crack in the blinds.
Jacob stood out front with another man. His car was parked in the driveway, the headlights on, as if he’d been stopped while leaving the driveway. It was dark out, but the car’s headlights illuminated their figures, making it possible for me to see them. They appeared to be arguing about something. Who was the other man? What was he doing out there? What were they talking about?
Suddenly Jacob moved, grabbing the other man by the throat and lifting him into the air. His lips moved as he said something that I couldn’t hear through the window.
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