“I’m not a pervert.” His gaze latched onto mine. “There’s no camera in your bedroom. I promise.”
I huffed out a breath. “I don’t believe you.”
“Shall we go take a look?” He waved toward the door. “I’ll show you where all the cameras are.”
I hesitated. He was serious. But he had every right to have a nanny cam. I didn’t blame him for that. As long as there wasn’t one in my room.
“No, that’s not necessary.” I didn’t want to know where all the cameras were. I cleared my throat. “But if you have cameras everywhere, then you know I never did anything to harm Hazel, I never tried to steal from you or do anything illegal. And I think you should know me well enough by now to know I would never hurt Hazel. Ever.”
A long silence stretched where he stared at my face and I stared uncomfortably at the front of his black T-shirt, trying not to think about the thick muscles underneath it.
He let out another deep sigh, then headed for the door. “I have to get back to work. Remember Anna, I’m watching you. Don’t let me catch you doing anything like this ever again.”
“I won’t.”
He paused in the doorway and motioned me forward out of his room. I hurried out into the hallway, feeling chastised. He snagged my arm and lowered his head to whisper in my ear. “Next time you want to visit my bedroom, make sure you do it when I’m in it.”
He brushed past me, and headed down the hallway.
I remained where I was, shaking, turned on. Confused.
What the hell? Was that an invitation to climb into bed with him?
The back door to the garage slammed, jerking me out of my trance.
I went back down the hallway and checked on Hazel, relieved we hadn’t awakened her with our loud voices. Then I slipped into my own room and closed the door. My window looked out into the forest behind the house. I stared out into the darkness for several minutes, thinking about Jacob.
My snooping had revealed he wasn’t a drug lord, a gang leader, a criminal, or mafia. I had also seen him threaten a man. He was definitely dangerous.
And he wouldn’t object if I climbed into his bed.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Jacob
I headed back to the gym, my mind in turmoil. I don’t know why I’d let Anna stay. I should have sent her packing. But I believed her. She was harmless. The cameras didn’t lie. She’d never done anything to harm Hazel. And she never would hurt Hazel. The woman didn’t have a mean bone in her body, though her curiosity might get her into trouble. The more she searched for information about me, the more dangerous it became not only for her, but for Hazel and me as well. There was a reason I didn’t want Anna to know who I was. If she discovered my true identity, she might flee in terror. Or she might turn me in.
But I had warned her that she might need protection from me. That hadn’t been a lie. She’d seen me threaten that guy and apparently I’d scared her. I didn’t want her to be afraid of me. Though she was getting better with her self-defense moves, she still was no match for me. I had yet to meet a man who could defeat me, yet alone a small, delicate woman like her.
My unwanted attraction to the woman was starting to get out of control. I couldn’t stop thinking about her. And when I’d yanked her back against me in my room, it had taken all my willpower to not show her just how easily I could take her. I don’t think she would have fought me, either. This attraction between us was powerful. I’d seen the way her eyes heated with desire, felt the way her chest heaved with excitement. It was making me lose my head.
In the past, whenever I’d needed a sexual release, Celia had always been there for me. All I had to do was show up at her door and she knew what I needed. Now, I had no one to turn to. I’d never felt this overpowering attraction to a woman before, this overwhelming need to touch her, to possess her and make her mine. I wasn’t sure what to do about it. I wanted to get my hands on Anna. Everywhere. I wanted her in my bed, naked, all entwined together, for hours on end. I wanted to run my tongue over every inch of her soft skin, press kisses to all her secret places. Make her gasp and moan and shout my name as I made her lose control, again and again.
I growled and slammed my hand against the steering wheel. Anna was right that a sexual relationship between us would be totally inappropriate. My gut told me that if I touched her, I wouldn’t be able to stop, and that would be bad. Anna could easily become an addiction that could make me weak. She could easily become the good that pushed the darkness aside, made me human again. Made me feel. She could break me. Make me vulnerable. I needed to have a clear head at all times in order to keep Hazel safe. And I couldn’t do that if I let my mind be consumed with thoughts of Anna. So how did I get her out of my head? How did I stop this obsession?
If Anna had been Celia, then I would just have gone into her bedroom and taken what I needed. But Anna wasn’t a prostitute. If I went into her bedroom, I had no idea what she might do.
Ron, the gym owner, was waiting for me when I arrived back at the gym. He took one look at my face and smirked.
“The way you rushed out of here told me it must be woman troubles. By the look on your face, I’d say I was right.”
I glared at him. “How’d you know?”
He chuckled. “I’m married. I know how it is. Trust me, men will never understand women.”
I snorted. “Isn’t that the truth?”
“Why don’t you just go make up with her, give her a night she’ll never forget? When my wife and I fight, make-up sex is always the hottest.” He waggled his blond brows.
I growled. If only it were that simple. “She’s not my woman. She’s off limits.”
He quirked a brow. “She’s not married, is she?”
“No. She’s my daughter’s nanny.”
“Is she legal?”
I made a face. “Of course. She’s twenty-two.”
His eyes twinkled. “Then what’s the hold-up?”
I sighed. “She’s the nanny,” I emphasized. “It would be totally inappropriate to fuck her.”
Ron snorted and headed for the octagon. “Not if she wants you to. You can’t help who you’re attracted to. Trust me, I know. My wife is such a pain in the ass sometimes, but I love her to death and I wouldn’t change her for the world. Does this nanny know how you feel about her?”
“No.” The truth was, I had no idea how to tell her I wanted her. I’d basically told her she could join me in my bed right before I’d left, but she hadn’t responded. I’d probably shocked her. Should I just go to her room and tell her I wanted her? That’s what I would have done with Celia. Celia had never turned me down.
Celia was a prostitute, you moron. Her job was to keep you sexually satisfied.
“You need to make a move, man. Let her know you’re interested.” Ron grinned. “Come on, let’s spar. Get that pent-up frustration out of your system.”
That was exactly what I needed. To pound her out, sweat her completely of my system.
And so we spent the next two hours beating the shit out of each other. It felt good. The beating. The burn. The pain. It helped release my frustration.
But when I headed back home, I still wanted a woman I could never have.
You can’t help who you’re attracted to.
Wasn’t that the truth?
You need to make a move, man. Let her know you’re interested.
Maybe Ron was right. Maybe it was time I made a move.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Anna
After Jacob left, I tore my bedroom apart, searching for a camera. I checked everywhere, but I found nothing. Either I’d missed it somehow or Jacob had told the truth when he’d said there was no camera in my room. I cleaned the mess up and put everything back in order. I didn’t blame Jacob for having video surveillance. I’m not sure if I would trust a stranger with my child, either. I was just glad there was no camera in my bedroom. The idea of Jacob seeing me undress made heat spread throughout my entire body. The man was tro
uble. Temptation of the worst kind. The forbidden fruit. Off limits.
When I finally settled back under the covers and fell asleep, I dreamed of my sexy boss and his hot, hard body, those beautiful blue eyes that I could so easily get lost in. The dreams were totally inappropriate and could never happen.
I dreamed of him sliding into my bed beside me, his arms coming around me, his mouth raining kisses down my neck. His hard, sexy body pressed against my back, igniting a flame deep inside me. His erection strained against my ass and I moaned, turning to face him.
“Jacob,” I gasped out. God, this was the most realistic dream I’d ever had. The best dream I’d ever had. I reached for him, running my hands over that hard-as-rock chest, feeling his muscles tense beneath my fingers. I let my hands roam down, gently stroking over those perfect abs. Then lower. I halted just shy of paradise, not wanting to ruin the dream. If he wasn’t as spectacular as I imagined, then I didn’t want to know how he felt down there.
“This is the best dream ever,” I whispered, moving my hands back up his impressive chest, pressing kisses all over his torso. “I don’t ever want to wake up.” He smelled delicious, tasted like sexy man and hot skin.
He groaned softly. “This isn’t a dream, Anna.” And then his mouth was on mine. Hot. Demanding. Seductive. I let out a soft moan, kissing him back, pressing closer. This felt so real. So right.
His tongue teased along my lips, urging me to open for him. With another soft moan, I did. His tongue swept inside, tangling with mine, an erotic dance that filled me with need. The kiss went on. And on. Heat and lust and desperate need. Desire raged inside me, pooling deep in my core. I melted against him. Arching closer. Our mouths melding together, our tongues mating. It was beautiful. It was…real.
Holy shit! Crap! God!
It finally registered in my sleep-infused brain that this really wasn’t a dream. This was real. Jacob was in my bed. Kissing me.
I gasped and came fully awake. What was he doing here? Pulling my mouth from his, I pressed against the wall of muscle that was his chest. The sun was just lighting the sky through the open blinds of the window, silhouetting his impressive body next to me in the bed.
He was slow to react, gradually leaning back, his hot gaze latching onto my face. His hands remained steady on my hips, his thumbs gently stroking little circles over my stomach. “I want you,” he said thickly, his gaze searing mine, before he kissed me again. Dear God. His mouth moved expertly over mine, gently, coaxing, then greedy, hot, demanding. I moaned, my breath quickening when his tongue delved in and danced with mine again. God, the man could kiss. It was hot. Addictive. I didn’t want it to end.
Reality crept in.
This was wrong. He was my boss. I had to stop this.
But God, it felt so good.
It took all my strength to pull away. I shoved him back and bolted into a sitting position, breathing heavily. Lifting my hand to my mouth, I pressed it against my lips. I could still taste him. Mint and man and sexiness.
Desire coiled through me. I squeezed my eyes shut and swallowed hard. Then I turned my back to him, trying to get control of myself. God help me, I wanted him.
He sat up behind me, not speaking. The heat of his gaze seared into my back.
I took a deep breath, puffed it out. “Jacob, you can’t just come into my bedroom like this. It’s…wrong. It’s totally inappropriate. You’re my boss.”
A moment of silence passed, then he murmured, “I was making my move, letting you know I want you.”
I groaned and shook my head back and forth. “Generally, when a man is interested in a woman, he asks her out on a date first. You know, dinner and a movie or something?”
Another moment of silence passed. “I don’t want to take you to dinner. I just want to fuck you.”
What? A slither of hurt sliced through my chest, replaced immediately by outrage. Jerk!
“That’s hurtful,” I whispered. My voice hitched, and I drew in a ragged breath.
I sensed his sudden confusion, and that made me seethe even more. Was he seriously that clueless? I jumped up from the bed. “Go away, Jacob. Don’t come into my bedroom ever again. I’m not a whore. I will not be used by you or anyone else.”
He flinched. “I wasn’t going to use you. I was going to give you pleasure and take pleasure for myself. It would be mutually satisfying.”
Spinning to face him, I hissed, “That’s not the way to win a woman over. Romance comes first, don’t you know that?”
He rose from the bed. “Romance?” He snorted. “I don’t know how to romance a woman. Whenever I wanted sex, I went to Celia’s, and she gave me what I needed.”
I rubbed a hand over my face. I would have to guess from that statement Celia wasn’t his wife. What kind of girlfriend would put up with that kind of crap? Did she not have any self-respect?
“That’s a pretty selfish and cruel way to treat your girlfriend. I can’t believe she put up with that crap. Don’t expect me to be like that.”
He came around the bed and I tensed, backing away. If he touched me right now, I was afraid I wouldn’t try to stop him. I had liked his touch way, way too much.
Maybe that’s why Celia never told him no. Maybe he’s amazing in bed.
“Celia wasn’t my girlfriend.” His gaze burrowed into mine from the few feet separating us. “She was a whore.”
“What?” I reared back. “That’s not a very nice thing to say about Hazel’s mother.”
He scowled. “I was just stating a fact. She was a prostitute. A whore.”
“Oh!” I jerked a hand to my mouth. He was serious. What the hell? Why would he feel like he had to pay for sex? The man was fricking hot. “What is wrong with you? Have you looked in the mirror lately?”
His brow furrowed in confusion. “Yeah, every day. Why?”
He really was clueless. Had he lived in a bubble all his life?
“Seriously, Jacob? You’re hot. You have to know that. If you went into any bar or nightclub or, hell, even into Wal-Mart, women would flock around you, probably fight to be the one to go home with you. Why would you need to pay for sex?”
He flushed, lowering his head. “I don’t do well in crowded places. And Celia always…saw to my needs.”
I stared at him. He really was serious.
I don’t do well in crowded places.
Why didn’t he like crowded places? Why did he never go outside during the day? Was he claustrophobic? Was he an agoraphobic? Why did he choose to pay a prostitute when he could get sex for free from just about anywhere? I didn’t understand him.
But I wanted to. So much.
“How old are you?”
His gaze darted back to mine. “Twenty-six. Why?”
“My God. Did someone lock you in a cage since puberty or something?”
He flinched, all the color draining from his face.
Crap. I’d struck a nerve. A great big painful one.
My breath caught. Dear God, what had happened to him? What was he hiding?
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, touching his arm. He pulled away and strode from the room without another word.
My heart pinched as I stared after him.
Guilt stabbed at me.
Why did I get the impression I’d hurt his feelings?
Jacob was hiding a lot more than just his last name from me.
Something told me he’d suffered, and suffered badly.
And that was why he was so very different from any man I’d ever known. Locked in a cage…he’d flinched when I’d said that.
Had he truly been locked up? Oh my God. Was he an ex-con? Who was he? What had he done?
While I’d been hurt and offended minutes ago when he’d said he only wanted sex from me, now it occurred to me that he hadn’t meant to offend me, he was just being honest. Men were all about the physical, after all, and when they were attracted to a woman, sex was the first thing they thought of. But it sounded like Jacob’s only contact with women had
been prostitutes. Which was strange. Was he socially awkward?
My curiosity about him grew. I wanted to know his story. All of it. I wanted to know the man he was inside. The more I thought about him, the more curious I became. Who was Just Jacob?
He’d said he wanted me. And God help me, I wanted him, too. Even if it was wrong.
How could it be wrong if we both want each other?
Because he’s your boss. If you got involved and it ended badly, you would be out of a job.
Yeah. If we crossed that line, there was no going back.
And just think what it would do to little Hazel to lose someone else she’d grown attached to.
I couldn’t put Hazel through that. I wasn’t that selfish. The poor girl needed some stability in her life. She’d already lost her mother.
I’d made a commitment to be her nanny, and I would stand by that. I was here for Hazel. Not her father. And not myself.
I could not become involved with Jacob.
No matter how badly I wanted to.
I had to put Hazel first.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Jacob
I went to my room and closed the door. Then I found myself in the master bath staring at myself in the mirror. Anna had said I was hot, yet she’d rejected me. I’d never really thought of myself as anything other than a soldier before, as anything other than Jacob, The Fighter. My dreg brother, Ryan, was the pretty boy who had a way with the ladies.
I’d never been so mixed up inside over a girl before. Anna was making me crazy. Everything about her drew me to her. She was beautiful, kind, funny, sweet and caring with my daughter, a genuinely good person. And she wasn’t afraid to speak her mind. My attraction to her just seemed to grow the more I was around her. I didn’t know anything about romancing a girl, but I wanted to learn.
If I wanted Anna in my bed, it looked as if I was going to have to put forth some effort into achieving that goal.
I considered that for a long moment. Did I want to “woo” Anna into my bed? What was I willing to do, how far was I willing to go, to get my hands on her?
The way my body ached right now with sexual frustration told me I’d do just about anything to make Anna mine. Fuck. I wanted her. Badly.
The Fighter Page 10