By the end of class, the tension he could see in Lynn seemed to melt away. The physical exertion of the class had her face glowing as she and Sharon talked. He dismissed class, Lynn excused herself and went to the restroom, leaving Nathan to thank Sharon again for coming.
He considered whether he should bring Lynn up at all. “I’ve noticed Lynn hasn’t quite been herself lately. I hope everything is okay.”
Sharon hesitated, which only made Nathan’s suspicions jump into high gear. “Things have been a little rough the last few days. I think she’s going to explain that when she sees you tomorrow.” She glanced at the restroom door as though she were hoping Lynn might appear just then.
Nathan took pity on her, not wanting her to feel uncomfortable. “Well, it was great to have you here. I hope I’ll see at least you again next weekend.”
“I’m planning on it.” Sharon smiled again as Lynn approached them.
“Thanks for the class, Nathan.”
“Of course. I’ll pick you up tomorrow?”
She nodded, a smile on her face, but a flash of something in her eyes that he couldn’t quite interpret. “Absolutely. I’ll be ready.”
Nathan laid a hand on her shoulder and gave it a squeeze. “I’ll see you then.”
He watched as the two women left the building. He’d been looking forward to the dinner with Lynn tomorrow, and that was still the case. Except now he couldn’t stop wondering what it was Lynn wanted to tell him.
Chapter Eleven
Lynn glanced at herself in the bathroom mirror for at least the tenth time. The lilac-colored sundress she’d chosen to wear still looked fine. So did her hair. After agonizing over what to do with it, she’d finally pulled part of it back and braided it, leaving plenty to fall down her back and even some tendrils that gently framed her face.
No, it wasn’t her appearance that was the problem. She zeroed in on her own eyes looking back at her. There was no missing the nervousness there and the way she was frowning at herself.
She was finally going on a real date with Nathan, the guy she was rapidly falling in love with. This should be an event she anticipated with butterflies in her stomach. Not only because of the significance of their date, but also because she hoped he’d pull her close and kiss her again.
Making sure her lip gloss was fresh and her hair smoothed down should be her main worries tonight.
Instead, all Lynn could think about was how she was going to tell Nathan that her given name wasn’t really Lynn.
She groaned and tipped her head back to look at the ceiling.
She’d lost count of how many times she’d replayed the conversation in her head. Last night, she’d even had dreams about it.
Sometimes, the scenario ended with Nathan promising her that none of it mattered, and that he wanted to be with her whether her name was Lynn, Bethany, or something else entirely.
Then there were other times where her blasted imagination had him walking out of the restaurant, after calling her a fraud, without once looking back.
That’s when tears would spring to her eyes as dread sat on her chest like a lead weight.
A small meow at her feet tugged at Lynn’s attention. Only then did she realize a small tear had escaped and started its trek down her left cheek. She swiped it away and bent to pick up Thai. She cuddled the kitten close.
He started purring immediately, the sound reverberating through her, a distraction that relieved her mind of the worst-case scenarios. “Thanks, boy. I needed this.”
Thai was going to get hair on her dress. Then again, that was preferable to the way her face was going to look if she full-on ugly cried. Over something that hadn’t even happened yet.
She carried the kitten to the living room and sat on the recliner. Thai quickly curled up on her lap and purred himself to sleep. As she gently rocked them back and forth with the toes of one foot, Lynn let her eyes slide shut.
“Lord, I know I keep trying to control things that I have no way of controlling. You know my heart and my situation. Please give me the right words to say, and please help Nathan to hear me out.” She sighed, releasing some of her pent-up nerves along with the breath from her lungs. She continued to stroke Thai’s soft fur as they rocked.
Lynn thought about Nathan and what their relationship was currently like. She resisted the urge to ask God to keep them together. “I want Nathan and Mia to continue to be a part of my life.” Because as much as it hurt to think about him severing their relationship now, it hurt even worse to think of losing him and Mia entirely. At least, if she still saw them—still spoke to them—there were possibilities for the future. She watched her parents take Perry and disappear from Lynn’s life. Seeing that happen with Nathan and Mia was one of her worst fears right now.
A favorite song from church settled on her heart. Despite a one-eyed judgmental look from Thai, Lynn got to her feet. She carried the kitten to her keyboard and settled him on her lap after sitting down. He seemed content with the transition and closed his eyes again.
Lynn allowed her fingers to still as they touched the keys of her keyboard. Then, she began to play “Seek Ye First” as she poured her worries into the song. Her situation didn’t change, but it felt lighter somehow.
Maybe the outcome of today was unpredictable. But there was one thing she knew for sure: she cared about Nathan, and he deserved to know the truth.
She respected him too much to not tell him.
If only she’d told him sooner. Although looking back now, she wasn’t entirely sure when the perfect time to tell him would have been.
Lynn realized she’d stopped playing the keyboard. She glanced down at Thai. “I guess now is the perfect time.”
A knock at the front door had Lynn jumping to her feet, and a less-than-happy Siamese landing on all four of his with an irritated twitch of his tail.
Lynn brushed off the cat hair as she opened the door. And there he stood: The most handsome man she’d ever met. He wore blue jeans and a black t-shirt. The slight breeze outside tousled his blond hair and brought the scent of his aftershave wafting to her nose.
But above all, it was the brilliant smile meant only for her that had her heart rate racing.
“Hey.” He stepped closer and placed a kiss to her cheek. “You look beautiful.” His eyes twinkled. “It’s nice to see you without the additional audience of my students or daughter.”
“I know what you mean.” Lynn had worried she might not know what to say when he came to pick her up. But the feel of his hand holding hers now had her relaxing a little. She lifted her chin to smile at him.
As though he could read her mind—or maybe he simply needed the contact as badly as she did—Nathan leaned down to kiss her. A slow kiss that had Lynn’s legs growing weak as his warmth and attention drove most of her worries away. At least until he broke their kiss and smiled into her eyes.
They were going to be okay. They had to be.
“Shall we?” He held an arm out to her.
Lynn happily took it and allowed him to escort her out of the house.
Once at the restaurant, they settled in with an appetizer and drinks while they waited for their meals. She’d asked him about Mia and his job. He asked if she’d heard anything from her sister, to which she’d sadly had to answer that she hadn’t.
Now they were both sitting silently, a heaviness in the air. Lynn popped the last bit of a mozzarella stick in her mouth and returned Nathan’s smile.
This was the time. Right now—this lull—was when she was supposed to start telling him about her past.
“Nathan, I—”
“Look, Lynn, if you—”
They both stopped and laughed, the sound breaking some of the tension. Lynn shook her head. “I’m sorry.”
“No, don’t be. Look, I know you’ve got something you want to say, but you seem really hesitant. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable. Or pressured in any way.”
His words and concerned expression had Lynn’s hear
t melting right along with some of her worries. “I appreciate that. I’m not going to lie about being nervous. But it’s something that I need to tell you. I hope and pray you’ll be able to understand.” She swallowed hard.
Just as she was about to begin, raised voices floated to them from the front of the restaurant.
Nathan leaned a little over the table and lowered his voice. “I wonder if someone tried to skip out on their bill.”
Lynn was beginning to wonder, too, until a small group of people skirted past several of the employees and headed in her direction. Her gaze went to a window where she could see people cupping their hands by their eyes as they peered in.
“Oh, no.” Please, God, not right now. They can’t have found me. Not before I was able to tell Nathan. Her stomach rolled as her worst fears were realized.
One of the men at the front of the group had a cell phone out, seemingly recording a video. “Bethany, what have you been up to since you left the music industry?”
~*~
Jeb wished he could see through the restaurant window well enough to witness Bethany’s shock. From the moment he’d announced her presence on social media, he’d hoped people would investigate to see if he was right. This turnout? Way beyond his expectations.
And it served her right, too. What was she thinking going out with that guy again? And after everything Jeb had tried to do to show her he was back.
It was time she faced reality.
Bethany needed to return to her roots. Her music.
Return to him.
~*~
Nathan struggled to understand what was going on. Why did that man refer to Lynn as Bethany? And why wasn’t she correcting him? What did any of this have to do with the music industry?
Lynn stood from her seat as her mouth opened and closed again. When she looked at him, Nathan could see that this was way more than anything he’d imagined over the last week or two. He’d thought maybe she had extra debt she was worried about. Or a health concern. He never, in a million years, could have imagined this.
He wanted an explanation. To know exactly what was going on. But more people were pouring into the restaurant. This wasn’t the place.
Nathan pulled some money out of his wallet, placed it on the table to pay for their meal, and then put a protective arm around Lynn’s shoulders.
There was no ignoring the warning blaring in his head or the way his stomach was twisting into knots. All he knew right now was that they needed to talk, and they certainly couldn’t do so here.
Lynn’s jaw was clenched so tightly, he could see the tension in her neck.
He pushed their way through the crowd, refusing to say a word, and thankful that Lynn said nothing as well. The last thing they needed to do was encourage this crowd of people.
Thankfully, Nathan had found a parking spot very close to the restaurant. They were able to get into his Jeep and on the road quickly. He kept an eye on his rearview mirror, but never did see anyone that seemed to be following them.
Even still, he took his time winding his way through town until he pulled up in front of Lynn’s place.
She still hadn’t spoken about what happened, and he didn’t ask for an explanation. Not yet. Instead, he walked around to her door and opened it for her. “I think it’d be better to go inside and talk.”
Lynn nodded, took the hand he offered, and stepped down. As soon as she had her balance, she let go of his hand.
Nathan tried not to take the fact she didn’t continue to hold his hand as a bad sign of their conversation to come.
He followed them inside where she got them both a glass of ice water and they settled on the couch in the living room.
Nathan replayed what happened at the restaurant in his mind. Surely the guy had been mistaken. But why hadn’t Lynn corrected him? Had she been lying to him about who she is? If so, what else could she be holding back?
Those old insecurities he thought he’d put behind him shoved their way back to the surface again. Nearly everyone he’d counted on lied to him in a big way: His birth parents, his adoptive parents, and even Mia’s mother. He didn’t know how to handle it if Lynn had been doing the same.
She deserved the chance to explain. He deserved the chance to hear it, too.
He didn’t touch his water, but watched as she took a long drink of hers. Only after she put the glass on the coffee table did she finally turn to him, her eyes swimming with unshed tears.
“I was going to tell you today. You shouldn’t have had to find out like that.”
“Honestly? I’m still not sure what I’ve found out. I’m confused, Lynn. Or is that even your name?” So much for giving her time to explain. He hated the hurt in her eyes in response to his words.
But instead of crying or shutting down, she straightened her spine and gripped her hands in her lap. Her knuckles turned white. “Lynn is my sister’s middle name, and Crosby is my mom’s maiden name.” She paused. “My real name is Bethany Truitt.” She held up a hand and hurriedly continued. “Please give me a chance to explain.”
Nathan motioned for her to do so even though his head was already spinning. So the guy at the restaurant was right. It took effort to keep his face neutral as he listened to how she’d pursued a music career against her parents’ wishes.
He had a hard time understanding how her parents would’ve cut her out of their lives for following her dreams. Had she talked to them about it? Did they really understand how important it was to her? Did she try to involve them in her life after she left the house, or did she just leave home behind without looking back?
She told him about how she’d finally decided to leave the music industry because they kept pressuring her to turn her back on her morals.
Nathan had a lot of respect for that.
But then she made up a name. Disappeared.
Why? If she’d really followed her heart and what she thought was best for her life both when she left home and when she left the music industry, then why not own it?
And why hide it from him?
Unless she didn’t trust him as much as she thought he did.
That thought hit him like a blow to the chest. He struggled to refocus on her words.
“I wanted to tell you earlier. I almost did several times. It’s just…” Lynn shrugged, her shoulders slumping in defeat. “I guess the timing never did seem right. Which I know is only an excuse. Because there’s never a right time to tell someone something like this.” She gave a wry chuckle. “As demonstrated today.”
“I’ve got to admit being ambushed at the restaurant by a bunch of old fans and media isn’t exactly the best way to find out my girlfriend isn’t who I thought she was.” He realized he’d used the word girlfriend and flinched when the flash of surprise and hope in her eyes was quickly chased away by disappointment.
That was certainly an emotion he was more than familiar with.
A big part of him wanted to reach for Lynn. Bethany. And reassure her they could figure this out. At the same time, his thoughts shifted to Mia.
His little girl had already lost more than she ever should have. Maybe he couldn’t protect her from everything all her life, but he could protect her while she was young. He had to.
Watching Lynn now—he just couldn’t think of her as Bethany, not yet—had his heart aching. He’d pictured having a life together. He could see Lynn tucking Mia in each night, or holding a little boy with her eyes and his smile. But now… Had he let his emotions get in the way of his better judgment?
When things got difficult before, she dropped everything and disappeared, creating a new life for herself. Now that her real identity had been revealed, would she feel pressured to repeat history?
Lynn finally swallowed. “I’m sorry, Nathan. You and Mia mean a lot to me…” Her voice broke. “I don’t want to lose what we have.”
“Neither do I. But there’s a lot to think about right now.” Nathan stood and walked away from her to a window at the front of her house.
He glanced out, half expecting to see a group of people waiting to pounce if the door were to open. Thankfully, with the exception of their vehicles and a couple cars parked across the street, there was nothing to worry about.
He raked his fingers through his hair before turning around. He stopped in front of her, and she lifted her chin to look at him from her spot on the couch.
He had a feeling there was still something she hadn’t told him. As much as he hated it, he needed to listen to his gut and not let his lack of judgment get the better of him again.
“I think we need to take some time. At least I need some time to process all of this.”
Lynn nodded slowly, the look on her face telling him she’d expected his response. “Should I call you? Or…”
“I’ll give you a call, okay? Meanwhile,” he pointed toward the front door, “make sure to lock the door behind me.”
Nathan thought back to the restaurant and the way all the people there had zero regard for Lynn as a person. The instinct to stay close and protect her kicked into full gear. But he had to think of Mia right now, and he had a lot of sorting to do.
As much as he hated to, he had to walk away for now. “You should call Sharon.”
Lynn nodded again, her eyes filling with tears. She stood slowly, her arms crossed tight against her chest.
Before Nathan caved into his instinct to pull Lynn close, he strode to the front door. “Goodbye, Lynn.”
He waited outside long enough to hear the deadbolt slide into place before taking the steps two at a time and getting back into the safety of his Jeep.
Nathan let his head rest against the seat. “What else was I supposed to do?” His voice sounded odd in the empty space around him. He groaned, turned the key in the ignition, and tried not to think about the fact that he was leaving behind the first woman he’d ever truly fallen in love with.
Chapter Twelve
Starting Anew (Life Unexpected Book 3) Page 10