He gently put some distance between them, yearning to see her eyes and her face.
They looked at each other for long moments experiencing again that happiness that passed from one to another. He continued to caress her face, then for a blissful instant, he put his lips on hers just to hear a wonderful sigh. In haste, he took her into his arms to feel the shiver that was going on and on between them, exploding in their bodies.
It was impossible to speak with such a flow of sentiments.
“I love you!” he whispered and she nearly fainted; he had to keep her tight in his arms.
But she regained her senses and it was she to take his face into her hands saying directly into his eyes, “I love you!”
They had imagined what love could be, but neither of them really understood before that moment.
They could have stayed forever on that terrace just looking at each other, but Darcy knew he had to tell her the whole truth. A dark shadow passed through his soul, wondering if she would accept his demands. It might look like his proposal was caused by the events in London and he knew how suspicious she was. He wanted to prolong that happiness but was aware he had to tell her, so he took her by the hand and descended into the park. She was not worried anymore, so completely had she placed herself in his hands when she decided to say yes. The moon was up in the sky, a beautiful half-moon but all around the sky seemed ruled by stars.
They walked in silence, but he could not delay his confession anymore; he had to tell her the whole truth and finally be happy.
“My love,” he said and he sensed how she shivered at those words. “Our meeting was the hand of fate…”
“I know,” she said and leaned on him.
“Oh, Elizabeth it is so hard to tell you this…”
She stopped to look into his eyes and saw the turmoil: one moment she was completely happy and then his eyes told her it was not over…
“No, no, do not worry, please!” he pleaded, “all I am asking you is to marry very soon and in secret, you will not have much time to prepare and we will not inform any but our closest family.”
He decided to begin with that demand to keep things between them very clear; there was not an instance in the world that could force him to marry another woman. Elizabeth was the only one he wanted!
“Yes!” she said, “I will marry you tomorrow!”
Her decision was so firm, so clear, she did not even ask for explanations.
“I love you so much,” he said, “that my heart could burst at any moment.”
She stopped in front of him and placed her hand on his heart. Through the fine linen of his shirt, he could feel her palm’s warmth making him forget about their love being just at the very beginning and all he could think about was her body next to his. He imagined her total abandon in his arms. But he chased away the vision; now that he was sure Elizabeth was to become his wife he had to think about her. She was a virginal young woman; he was sure she was far away from knowing what carnal love was. In ordinary times they would have had time to adjust to one another. Slowly to teach her all the gestures of love; to kiss her and let her get accustomed to a real kiss, then to take possession of her body in a rhythm that allowed her to understand what was happening, to lead her to pleasure. Unfortunately, they had no time for engagement, so he decided to give her time anyway to become a woman.
He kissed her being more demanding; she sighed at every step he took on the path of love. Darcy adored her continuous shyness, yet she did not stop him even when she was astonished by his caresses.
“Why do we have to marry in such a rush?” she finally asked; however, Darcy was not worried, not anymore. She had agreed to marry him under any conditions he might impose.
It was his turn to sigh, but it was a deep, rather painful sound.
“Do not worry,” she said, smiling in the dark, “I won’t renounce Pemberley for any reason in the world!” she was joking, trying to make him feel better but she had to admit that Pemberley had a considerable place in her heart. She wanted to be the mistress of this place and be loved by its master. Never in her life had she considered marrying for wealth with a man she did not love; she was ready to marry a Vicar or a solicitor, live on a small income, if she fell in love but the idea of living at Pemberley had conquered her as surely as the man who owned it.
“Speak!” she said and Darcy had the impression they were married for a long time, just walking before sleep. Certainly, they would not always agree on the road of life, but he knew she would be near him in times of crisis.
Have you made a promise to another woman?” she asked in a normal tone like he would probably ask his Elizabeth many years from now.
He turned to her and laughed, “I do not know why I want such a clever woman!”
“You did?” she asked, and her eyes swung between worry and jealousy.
“Not like you would think! Not I, it seems mama wrote a codicil to her testament promising I would marry my cousin Anne de Bourgh. It is my aunt, Lady Catherine, who has produced this codicil fourteen years after mama’s death, exactly one day after our meeting at the theatre…”
Elizabeth stopped in the middle of the lane; confronted with such a problem, she began to worry.
“At least you have no reason to be jealous!” he tried to laugh.
“No!” she agreed. “Yet, I am worried now. Not fulfilling your mother’s will is not typical of you!”
Only some months ago Elizabeth had a horrible impression of him; he wondered what happened for her to change so dramatically.
“A long time ago I fulfilled all my mama’s directives; they were about some belongings that did not pass into my father’s wealth when she married, there were letters for Georgiana and me but to impose on me such a decision… no, it is not that mother I remember. Maybe it is forged, as I expect the worst from my aunt or maybe in the last days she wanted to be closer to her sister, I do not know… Anyway, Elizabeth I do not intend to accept it. I will never marry that poor girl and if you love me, we will be married very soon and forget about everything.”
“You could be ostracized by your own…” she was sad, but her future was Darcy and only him, no one else mattered.
“Yes, most probably! Then we will live forever at Pemberley and be happy here just the two of us... and those in our families who accept our decision, Georgiana, your family and the Gardiners, Bingley, the Colonel who would never judge my decision; then the people from our estate, the peasants… do you think you could live such a simple life?”
Elizabeth looked around at Pemberley that shone like a precious gem, the magic park they were strolling, the lake. She wanted to laugh at such a question “Yes, absolutely! It is exactly the life I want to have! I do not like London and the society that probably won’t accept me anyway… They do not care that my father is a fine gentleman or my mother comes from a respectable family, I assure you there is no spot on my family’s reputation − all that counts is not a part of their group.”
He took her into his arms and kissed her forehead.
“We will be married by an ordinary License, the Common License.”
Elizabeth looked at him with much curiosity, “You have made the plan to the last detail!”
In her voice Darcy heard pride, his Elizabeth was proud of him. He kissed her hand feeling the desire urging in his body, but his wife to be considered a hand kiss such an intimate gesture that she most of the time blushed, so he stopped again. It was rather dark, only the lights from Pemberley cast strange shadows on their faces; he looked at her lingeringly kissing her hand, caressing her palm with his lips. Elizabeth was one moment the girl she had always been and the other, at his mere touch, she lost all of her composure, she was shy and angry to be so shy, and yet happy to put her soul and body into his arms.
“Stop, stop,” she said with a weak voice.
“You do not like?” he asked, smiling away from her eyes.
“I do not know anymore what is happening to me!” she whispered
. “I want to be... for our wedding night!”
She could not say the word, she trembled, cold one instant only to burn the second that followed. She feared she would lose her virginity by knowing and feeling so much about love.
They walked again in silence.
“What is a Common License?” she asked with a still trembling voice but determined to regain her composure.
Darcy laughed again looking at the beautiful lake; the Common License was the last subject he would have chosen, but he wanted her to go towards love at her own pace.
“This Common License does not require reading the bans, it costs money and saves us from the bans. And we will have to marry in either your parish or mine because in both we have to announce our marriage.”
“It will be Pemberley!” Elizabeth cried in joy. “However we will still have to wait the three weeks.”
“Yes, but the announcement would be less public than in the bans’ case.”
“But someone could oppose anyway, with bans or without!”
“Yes! It is a risk to take. If I were in London, I could go His Grace, the Archbishop of Canterbury and ask for a Special License but there, the risk of my aunt Catherine interfering is bigger. So we will try to make it very quiet and in three Sundays we will have the Licence and marry.”
“On Monday, at Pemberley,” Elizabeth said and blushed.
“Indeed! Pemberley is the best place in the world to marry, far away from all the malevolence, with people we love, around. The same day we decide to get married it will be announced in The Times: Miss Elizabeth Bennet has married Mr Fitzwilliam Darcy…”
“We have to tell the others and… oh, I completely forgot… you have to talk with papa.”
They decided to depart for Longbourn as soon as they announced their marriage in Pemberley parish.
“Georgiana and your uncle have to know about our plan, but it is better to let no one know about Lady Catherine’s document; we could tell them I proposed to you in spring, but we decided to get engaged only now.”
As all the lovers in the world do, they walked for a long time around the lake discussing, laughing, and from time to time kissing.
Chapter 9
Once in her room Elizabeth fell instantly into a deep and dreamless sleep despite her ardent wish to live again the amazing night that passed.
The morning returned her new happiness; she could have rolled about in bed as she did with her sisters when they were little girls. It rained outside, but the morose day could not spoil her enjoyment. On the contrary, she thought that last night was a blessed moment in time when even the universe had been serene… for them.
Wide awake, she dressed in haste, impatient to go down to breakfast. Imagining how Darcy would be looking at her in the daylight, she trembled with happiness. She wanted to see her relatives’ faces and their joy at the news Darcy would announce. As for Georgiana, Darcy decided to speak to her before breakfast; he wanted to be alone with her as he foresaw a certain resistance from her. She loved him not only as a brother but also as a parent because in the last years Darcy had assumed that role. He had to explain to her that his marriage would not change his love, only his role; he would cease to be a parent and become the brother he was.
She remembered her mother scolding her in the morning, “Do not come to breakfast like an explosion, Lizzy; it is not what ladies do!” But the first morning of her betrothal was too important to restrain her feelings. She entered with a broad smile to find her relatives and Darcy and Georgiana already seated at the table. She had not realised how late it was, but around the table she found smiles… It took just a moment for Darcy to be near her, so near she could feel his body next to hers, and just that move made her blush.
Her only worry was Georgiana. She seemed a little girl lost and unhappy, looking at the plate in front of her. Elizabeth whispered her name, inviting her to stand near them.
The Gardiners were watching Elizabeth and Darcy in astonishment as they took Georgiana near them while he spoke. He was excited, yet he did not want to show all his happiness until Georgiana accepted their marriage with a full heart.
“Dear Mrs and Mr Gardiner, Elizabeth and I… and Georgiana… of course,” he laughed and kissed his sister’s temple, “we have a happy event to announce!”
They knew before the words were spoken, and both Gardiners stood up in a single movement to come and congratulate them…
“It seems it is not such a surprise to you!” Darcy joked, secretly touching Elizabeth’s hand.
“My dear Mr Darcy,” Mrs Gardiner said, “allow some older persons to recognise love when they see it!”
Elizabeth took Georgiana in her arms and whispered in her ear, “You do not lose a brother but gain a sister who dearly loves you already!”
They could hardly eat, all trying to speak at the same time, laughter bursting out often. Elizabeth naturally sat near Darcy; she adored staying so close to him for all the secret gestures that he made to remind her how much he was in love. A hand searched hers under the table, daringly she gave her hand for a second to be touched by his. During those moments of joyfulness, a servant entered, bringing two letters for Elizabeth.
She took them with joy noticing they were both from Jane.
“They arrived at the Inn earlier today, Miss Bennet. Mr Cooper sent me with them,” the boy explained.
“I am grateful to both you and Mr Cooper,” Elizabeth thanked him kindly. “They are from my eldest sister, Jane.”
Elizabeth looked at the letters, excited to find news, hoping that Jane had something significant to share.
“We should allow Miss Elizabeth some privacy to enjoy her letters,” Darcy suggested. His sister nodded in agreement while the Gardiners decided to go for a half an hour to their room to prepare for the trip they intended to take.
“Thank you. I will read the letters and meet you in the music room,” Elizabeth told Georgiana while she smiled at her brother.
Elizabeth opened the first letter with eager anticipation, hoping that Jane had some happy news as she could not avoid thinking that she had a story of her own to share in return. Her sister’s happiness was bursting out of the paper. She spoke about their parents, their young cousins, about Mr Bingley and his daily presence at Longbourn. “
When suddenly the letter changed its tone on the second page:
Dear Lizzy,
since I began writing this, yesterday, some most disturbing events have taken place…
Most disturbing? What could it be? Was someone ill? Elizabeth feared while glancing through the paper desperately.
A breath-taking pain cut her heart, while her eyes read, but her mind refused to believe. She hastily ripped the second seal and quickly looked for some words to contradict the first letter. But it was not to be. Quite the opposite, the latter had been written a day later, in apparent agitation and gave more shocking intelligence.
Lydia had eloped from Brighton − with Mr Wickham! When she first read that, she dismissed it as a sick joke. Lydia and Wickham? He had never given her any attention; he always ignored her as much as he could and she looked more like a puppy chasing after him.
Elizabeth read, again and again, hoping she misunderstood it. But her comprehension had been total and complete – just as the ruin of them all. Instead of receiving news of her eldest sisters’ happy engagement, she got reports about her youngest’s shameful elopement with the most unworthy of men, who could not possibly have any genuine affection to her. ‘He will never marry her, as Jane hoped. They surely did not go to Scotland. Most likely, he will abandon her in misery and disgrace. But why? Why Lydia? What use could he have for her? They had neither connections, nor fortune, nor anything else to tempt him.’
Dearest Lizzy,
I beg you to return to Longbourn immediately. Papa already went to Town, and Mr Bingley was kind enough to accompany him. He is such a kind, generous man, Lizzy! He immediately offered his help! How will we be able to repay him? But I am afraid they
will not be able to find them in time. Colonel Forster expressed some ill opinions about Mr Wickham and he also offered his support in retrieving them. But our uncle’s presence would be invaluable under the present circumstances.
My dear, in this scandal which strikes our family I can give happy news. Instead of running away, Charles came yesterday and proposed to me, then he spoke with papa. He is so decided that we even announced our betrothal before their leaving for London. I have never seen someone so decided as Charles was. He repeated on and on that Lydia’s action did not affect his desire to have me as his bride and he wanted to prove it as soon as possible. It is so strange that mama is crying and I should also be desperate, yet I am happy as I have never been before!
Elizabeth let the paper fall from her hands and for a moment, glanced around, dumbfounded. Everything was lost – to her and to their entire family. She had to leave Pemberley at once and she would never return. Darcy would never marry her – unlike Mr Bingley, who still wanted Jane. Such a scandal was unbearable for any honourable family.
All her hopes and dreams had been shattered and buried.
She was angry with herself for being so selfish, but first, she felt only resentment and fury toward Lydia and toward her father, for allowing her so much liberty.
Then, shame and pain overcame her; her poor sister was in danger, and her father was undoubtedly lost in despair and sorrow. They needed her – and there was nothing else she should think of.
She immediately rose, then bent to fetch the sheets spread on the carpet. She pressed the letters together, then hesitated where to go first. She had to discuss this with her uncle and aunt!
She ran toward their door, and almost collided with Darcy. She was pale, then tears burned her eyes. He took her into his arms, no longer caring about anything else in the universe beside his fiancée’s sorrow.
Wedding at Pemberley Page 8