I pull out my sock and dump in some of the ice, spreading it around to numb the top of my foot. It’s going to feel even more fabulous once it melts and I’m stuck inside the car for another hour with a wet foot. But I’m desperate. The pain is getting worse, and if I’m not careful, I won’t be able to compete next month.
I grit my teeth, shivering from the cold sensations snaking up my calf. A little more time. That’s all I need. The performance at internationals will be the most important one of my entire cheer career. I can’t let anything hold me back, not after I’ve worked so hard for so long. The ESPN team assembles in July, so I’ll have plenty of time to heal after Hawaii.
Another scoop of ice into my sock and I’m ready to head back outside. Since my foot is pretty numb at this point, I can put a little bit of weight on it. That curb had to get in my way!
I pull open the car door and slide into the passenger seat. Hunter looks up from his phone, and I allow myself to melt into his twinkling eyes for a split second. They crinkle in the corners when he spots the bag of M&Ms dangling in front of him.
“You’re the best.” He starts the car and tears out of the parking lot toward the turnpike entrance ramp. “How crazy is that? I was just thinking, Hey, I’d love to wash this Red Bull down with some chocolate. I should have asked Livvie to pick up some M&Ms for me. And then here you are, bringing the goods. It’s like you know what I’m thinking before I do.”
“Yeah,” I murmur. It’s just too bad his thoughts don’t match mine.
Hunter
M&Ms. She got me M&Ms. The plain ones, since I’m an M&M purist. I chew handful after handful as I merge back onto the turnpike. It’s the first time during the whole trip that I can’t say exactly what’s on my mind, even though my heart is racing like I’ve just chugged another three Red Bulls. I have to keep my lips pressed together to keep these thoughts from tumbling out of my mouth.
Back when Dad and I moved out here, before I met Livvie, I practically lived on M&Ms. I also brushed about six times a day because of my sugary diet. But more than eating them, I liked to play with them. I’d arrange them into pictures, guided by their bright colors. It was therapeutic for me, I guess. I didn’t have any friends to talk to, and my dad…he shut down for a while afterward and didn’t want to talk about Mom at all. Too many painful memories. So we avoided the conversation, but I still had a boat load of unresolved feelings. Messing around with the M&Ms didn’t help me to work through them, but they gave me a distraction, so I wouldn’t have to focus on being without my mom. I played with them for hours until my fingertips would start to sweat and the sugary colored coating would wear off.
Livvie is the only one who knows why I always buy a bag of M&Ms anytime I go out. She’s the only person who knows a lot of stuff about me. How am I supposed to put all of that at risk by doing something stupid like telling her my feelings have changed?
Exactly. I can’t. So I keep myself in check.
“I’m so excited to see everyone. Can we pop over to your house before you take me home?”
“Yeah, of course. Everyone wants to see you, too.” Cindy, my stepmom, loves Liv and vice versa. Liv was actually the one who’d convinced me to lighten up when Dad announced he was getting married years back. I’d given Cindy a pretty hard time. Actually, that’s probably an understatement. I was a complete jerk to her, and even though she tried really hard with me, I didn’t give her an inch. But I was a sullen ten-year-old who felt like the memory of his mom was being replaced, so naturally, I wasn’t a fan. But Liv, as always, got through to me. She always does. Always knows exactly what to say and do.
“It’s too bad they couldn’t find a babysitter tomorrow night,” Liv murmurs, still scrolling through her phone. “I know my parents would have loved to see them at the party.”
“Yeah.” My fingers tap on the wheel. Focus on this meeting and how happy she’ll be when you tell her. Stop letting this other stuff take over your mind.
She sits straight up and clicks off her phone. “Hey, maybe we can watch the kids tonight and let them have a night out. It’ll be fun! We can watch movies and make ice cream sundaes and play games…what do you think?”
“I think they’d love that idea. And I know Allie will love it. Chrissy may give you some problems, though.” My half-sisters. Allie is four, and Chrissy is six months old. Cutest kids on the planet. No bias here.
Liv sits back in her seat, a big smile plastered across her face. “Babies don’t scare me, Hunter. Don’t you remember how much I babysat in high school? I’m the baby whisperer.”
“You sound pretty confident about that, but Chrissy is at that really fussy age when she doesn’t want anyone but Cindy. She even pushes away my dad. You’re gonna have your hands full.”
“Challenge accepted.” She claps her hands. “We’ll have such a great time! It’s been so long since I’ve hung out with Allie, too. Me and my big cheer career and all…” she muses, twisting her ponytail and staring out the window.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I pull off the exit ramp headed toward Pleasanton, the town where we live.
She shrugs. “You know, I just miss a lot of things because of it. There’s always a competition or a practice or a showcase. Always something.”
“Yeah, but you love it, and you’re amazing. You knew exactly what you were signing on for when you started down this path.”
“I just…I’ve been so focused on it that it’s become my life. I hope it’s worth everything I’ve given up.”
“Livvie, that’s what you’ve always wanted, though. Are you just realizing this?” I stop at a red light and turn to face her. Something is hiding behind those eyes of hers, and she won’t let me in. She always lets me in, why not now?
“No, but what happens if something goes wrong? If my plans don’t pan out? Then what will I do?”
“How could they not play out?” I’m so confused by this conversation, but I don’t want to tell her that because she’s obviously bothered by something, and I don’t want to pile on. It aggravates her when my normal guy tendencies shine through, and I get lost in her jumbled thoughts. Most of the time, I just play along, hoping she’ll get to a point that I can decipher pretty easily through all of her girl code.
“Well…I could get hurt or something. Miss out on opportunities. One misstep can really screw things up for me, and then what happens? I graduate with a bunch of trophies and no job because all I know is cheer.”
I ease my foot off the brake and press down on the gas once the light turns green. “Look, you’re nervous about Hawaii. I get it. But stop psyching yourself out. I’ve seen your routine, and it’s a winner. You land every move; you practically hit the ceiling in all of your stunts. Why are you doubting yourself?”
She rubs the back of her neck. “I guess I’m just nervous. There will be a lot of brands down there ready to pick and choose who they want to represent them - scouts, ESPN representatives…”
“Yeah, but they always show up. Why are you bugging out now?”
“It’s just a really important performance, that’s all. And I should be practicing this weekend instead of taking off.”
“Livvie, you need to live your life, too. That’s what gives you balance and makes you great; the fact that you can step back and take a breather. Maybe you haven’t done that enough lately, and that’s why you’re so stressed about internationals.”
“Maybe.”
My phone pings with an incoming text. “Hey, can you see who that’s from?”
Liv picks it up and peers at the screen as I maneuver around a Hyundai in our path. “It’s a text from someone named Jena. She said you can stop by any time before noon.” She lets out a snort. “Really, Hunter? We’re not even home yet! Jeez, can’t you even go a day—?”
I grab the phone and stick it back in the cup holder. “Relax. It’s not what you think.”
“Look, just drop me off at home, then. I’m not waiting in the car for you to do…whatever it
is you’re going to do. That’s sick.”
I snicker and head down Main Street. The school is a couple of blocks up, and she still has no clue. “I can’t drop you off. Your house is out of my way.”
I put on my left signal and pull into the parking lot of Pixie Hollow Pre-School. There’s an empty spot right by the door. I shut off the engine and look at Liv. Her cheeks are bright pink, her eyes narrowed.
“Are you seriously going to do this? Where are you meeting her? In the kiddie bathroom?”
I place my hands on her shoulders. “Livvie, tell me what’s wrong. You’ve been somewhere else for most of the trip, preoccupied with I don’t know what, and now you’re attacking me for something you know nothing about. What’s up? Talk to me.”
Her lips stretch into a thin line. “I’m fine.”
“You sure about that? Because I’m not buying it.”
She shrugs. “You don’t have to.”
I let out a sigh. “I don’t understand why you’re being so closed off. Is it about Tommy boy? Are you still upset about that? I’ll take care of him for you when we get back on Sunday. It’d be my pleasure.”
A tiny smile lifts her lips. “I don’t care about him, but thanks for the offer. I guess I’m just stressed, that’s all.”
“It’s okay. You’re allowed to be stressed. But I’m here for you. Don’t shut me out, okay?”
Her eyes get a little watery, confirming that there’s more to her story, but she’s not ready to tell it yet. That’s fine. I’ll give her time. Maybe this meeting will get her mind off of whatever is eating at her. And I was really excited to surprise her, too. I hope she can shake this off in the next five minutes.
“Okay,” she whispers. “Thanks.”
That should be my cue to let her go, but my hands are still gripping her shoulders. If I pull them away, I’m a little afraid of where they may drift - to the sides of her face to brush away the stray hairs that managed to escape her perfect ponytail since she’s been riding with the window down, to her eyes to swipe away the tears threatening to spill over, to trace the outline of her trembling lips. I’ve never had the urge to do any of that with another woman.
“You’re welcome.” I manage to choke out the words and pull my hands away. I clear my throat and grab my phone to occupy my now-empty hands.
“So, if you’re not here for some seedy reason, can you please tell me why we’re sitting in this parking lot?” Liv cocks her head to the side and sniffs.
“We’re here for a meeting.” I grin and push open my door.
“A meeting?”
“Yeah. I called the director of the preschool program a few weeks ago and set up this meeting for today since I knew we’d be headed home. They’re interested in doing a couple of summer clinics with Rising Star.”
She gasps. “You’re kidding! That’s amazing!”
I slide out of the driver’s seat and jog around the other side to open Liv’s door. “I thought you’d like that.”
“I still can’t believe how much your business has grown over the past year. I’m so proud of you!” Without warning, she rushes into my arms and squeezes me tight. For a split second, I allow my body to melt into her, breathing in the scent of her perfume, letting her infuse my entire being…right there in the parking lot. She fits me perfectly, and I don’t want to let her go. Not now, not ever.
But, unfortunately, that last part isn’t up to me.
She pulls away, a dark pink flush coloring her cheeks and a sheepish smile tugging at her lips. “You’re pretty incredible, you know that?”
“I guess that must be true because why else would you waste your time with me, huh?”
She folds her arms and grins at me. “Exactly. Now let’s get this Jena person to sign a contract, shall we?”
I reach into the backseat and pull out my laptop bag. “Sounds good. And after that, we celebrate.”
“Milkshakes from Pop’s?” Her blue eyes brighten, and she clasps her hands in front of her face.
“You’ve got it.” I follow her into the main doors of the school, trying to block out all thoughts of what I’d like to do involving her and that milkshake.
Liv
I can’t believe I lost it like that over a stupid text. I sounded like a freaking lunatic, for Pete’s sake. I chew the inside of my mouth as we walk into the front doors of the school, tapping my fingers against my legs, anything to avoid staring at his tall, muscular body, but that’s the only distraction my eyes are interested in right now.
He stops inside the foyer and presses an intercom button. A buzzer allows us access into the building. I look around the airy lobby. The walls are alive with color; splashes of bright blues, red, and greens cover the space. I can hear the laughter and chatter of children floating out into the hallways, little voices causing my lips to curl upward into a smile. Hunter has been targeting this school for a while, along with a number of other ones in the area, trying to expand his business into our hometown for the summer. He’s got plenty of coaches at other schools down the coast, and I guess he wanted to make sure he had enough coaches up here lined up before committing. Once he partners with this school, the others will follow. As soon as the moms get a look at him and the other delicious coaches, they’ll post pictures all over Facebook and the calls and emails will be nonstop.
I’ve seen it happen before. And even though Hunter capitalizes on the way his coaches look to get more business, he truly loves working with these kids, and he only picks coaches that feel the same way. Maybe it’s because he’s a big kid himself, but he’s patient, goofy, and playful, and they gravitate to him like he’s Santa Claus.
Makes me even more crazy about him.
Argh! I have to stop thinking that! I have my own summer plans to make. That’s what I should be focusing on, not these insane feelings for Hunter.
I follow him into the school office, where he gives his name to the receptionist. I hang back a little, trying to catch a glimpse into one of the classrooms. I’d always wanted to work with little kids, too, teaching them tumbling skills from an early age. I started cheering when I was about four, but I didn’t really start learning how to do basic things like a cartwheel until much later. Learning those skills early on is key, but with my crazy competition and exhibition schedule, I’d never had time to pursue a side business.
“Hunter! It’s so nice to meet you in person!” A cheerful female voice startles me from my thoughts, and I jump backward. I look up to see a tall, curvy blonde sauntering toward us. I’ll be honest, I didn’t expect this Jena person to be so…so…
Hot.
Of course, she has to be a freaking hot preschool teacher. And I can see a little twinkle in Hunter’s eye when he brushes past me to grasp her outstretched hand. An icy sensation squeezes my heart, and my mind is already racing to the part where she casually asks him to show her some moves on the basketball court; you know, so she can get a really good idea of things he’d be teaching the kids.
I clench and unclench my fists. I want so badly to be anywhere but here right now.
Hunter nudges me, and my head twists in Hot Teacher’s direction. I plaster on a wide smile and reach out to shake her hand. “Liv Larson. Nice to meet you.”
Jena smiles. “Hunter tells me you’re an all-star cheerleader down at USC. That’s amazing. Have you been doing it for a long time?”
I nod. He’s mentioned me? “Since I was four.”
“Wow! That’s fantastic! I’m so excited to hear about your plans for the camp! I think the basketball and cheer skills will make a terrific pairing for the kids. Parents will love it, especially if they have siblings interested in learning different sports.” She clasps her hands together. “Okay, let’s take a walk to the gym so you can see the facilities and tell me some more about how your camps work.”
I furrow my brow and look at Hunter as Jena walks out of the office. The twinkle sparkles even brighter, if that’s possible.
“Surprise,” he mouths.
“But how can I…?”
He nudges me toward the door, his lips brushing against my ear. “Don’t worry about it. We’ll figure out the schedule. I’ll work it around yours. I knew you’ve wanted to do this for a while, so I took care of the logistics. Trust me, it’s going to be great.”
“But I don’t even know—“
“We’ll work it out. It’ll be a good break for you.”
But he doesn’t know about ESPN! I can’t very well rain on his parade now, especially if he got a foot in the door promising kiddie tumbling. And the fact that he did it, knowing how much I’d wanted to join forces with him for these camps…God, all I want to do is throw myself into his arms and press myself against his chest, but instead, I manage a smile and follow him down the hallway. With each step, my hopes for nabbing a spot on the ESPN team are crashing lower and lower. I ignore the urge to cringe. I’ll ice my foot again as soon as I get home. I fumble in my bag and fish out two Advil. I pop them into my mouth quickly before anyone notices and pray they kick in fast.
Jena is babbling about the equipment the school can offer, and I walk over to some of the mats set out on the lacquered floor. Female giggles from just outside of the gym hit my ears, and I strain to hear what is being said.
“Holy cow, is that Hunter McKinnon, the guy from USC who’s running those basketball camps?”
“He can slam dunk me any day!”
More giggles. My back stiffens, and I can’t help creeping toward the door. Hunter and Jena are deep in conversation, so they don’t see me tiptoeing across the mat in the half-darkened gym.
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