by Amy Ruttan
“Plastic surgery?” There was an accusatory tone in her voice.
“Yes.”
“Well, isn’t that convenient.”
“What?”
“You missed the vote and...” She shook her head. “What’s happening to all the staff?”
“Laid off. Except the surgeons get a severance package.”
“I see,” she said calmly. She glanced out the window.
“Kiera...”
“No. No. You broke your end of the bargain.”
“I said I would see what I could do when we made this deal. I wasn’t there, and if I had been, I would have put a stop to it. I would’ve fought.”
“Sure.”
“Kiera, I was sent here to put a stop to your protesting.”
Her blush deepened. “Well, you did that.”
“No. I didn’t. I was going to sell my shares, but to someone who saw the value in Aspen Grace Memorial Hospital. Someone who would stand up to my father and help. I wanted to be done with him.”
Kiera didn’t say anything.
“You don’t believe me, do you?”
“Why should I?” Kiera asked. “It just seems too convenient.”
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“Plastic surgery. Your specialty. So you’re going to extend your practice here then? And selling shares? That seems noble enough, but why didn’t you tell me this before?”
“What are you talking about?”
Now he was angry. He felt bad this had happened, but it wasn’t his fault. Why couldn’t she see that? He hadn’t wanted this, and there was nothing convenient about this situation.
“You’re a plastic surgeon. Your clients come here, all the elite do.”
“So? I don’t want to live in Colorado. I don’t want to be here. My home is in California. I won’t be working at this private clinic.”
The way she reeled back, it was as if he had slapped her across the face, as if he’d hurt her, and that was the last thing he ever wanted to do. He would never want to hurt her. He had come here to deal with her; instead, he’d fallen in love.
“Is this why you asked me to move to California?” she asked, her voice catching. “Because you knew I would be fired?”
“I want you, Kiera.”
She shook her head. “What we have isn’t real.”
And that hurt him. “So you only slept with me because of our deal?” He hated saying it, but he was hurt and had lost control.
He was angry with his father. He was mad at himself. All he wanted was her.
His heart ached because he was falling in love with Kiera. He’d known that since the first night they had spent together, with that ridiculous pillow wall between them. Apparently, though, he was the only one feeling these emotions. He’d put his heart on the line and she’d crushed it.
Why had he let her through his barriers?
Because you’re lonely.
“How dare you insinuate that! You know that I can’t leave Colorado.”
“Why?”
“Because we’re strangers, because what we have isn’t real...”
“It was real enough last night, Kiera. Or did you feel anything?”
Because he wasn’t sure. He had certainly felt something. Last night he’d come alive again, and he hadn’t realized how long he’d been asleep. Henry was putting a lot on the line here and was scared at what he was doing, but he was learning that life was too short not take a risk. And after last night, he wanted to take that risk with Kiera.
He just wanted Kiera.
All of her. He wrestled with his guilt and his need for her.
He wanted her in California with him because he couldn’t be here in Colorado. He couldn’t be where Michelle had died, where his parents still lived. He couldn’t live this life here. There were too many bad memories. He wanted to start somewhere new with her. It didn’t have to be California.
They had both been through a lot of heartache and trauma here.
To move forward he wanted to put this state behind him and never look back.
He wanted to run away with Kiera.
He didn’t want to leave her behind, because he felt what had happened to Aspen Grace Memorial Hospital was his fault. He was the one who had cost Kiera her job and he wanted to take care of her, even though she was capable of taking care of herself.
She worried her bottom lip and shook her head. “No. No. I can’t leave Mandy. I can’t leave Mandy.”
“Mandy is a grown woman. You can leave her. She’s just an excuse to hold you back from living.”
“You know nothing of my life. Nothing,” she snapped.
“I know that you’re too afraid to leave. You’re either feeling guilty because you weren’t here when Dr. Burke died or you’ve been waiting for your father to come back. He won’t come back, but, Kiera, you don’t have anything tying you down now. You can come to California.”
Tears slipped out of her eyes and rolled down her cheek. She brushed them away quickly.
“I can’t come to California. You just don’t want to be alone. You just feel bad for me. You were using me to get out of a deal with your father.”
“That’s not it at all.”
“No. I can’t leave Colorado.”
“You’re afraid,” he snapped. “You’re afraid to leave Mandy. Why are you so afraid?”
“Why are you so afraid to make Colorado work? You run from things, Henry. So no, I’m not coming to California with you. I won’t run after someone who is always leaving. You broke your promise to me and now I have to leave. I have work to do and a clinic to save. Just stay away from me.”
Kiera climbed out of the car and grabbed her bag from Mike.
Henry just sat there.
Angry with himself. Angry that she walked away, but also angry with his father.
Blindingly angry with his father.
Controlling his life again.
And it was going to stop.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
KIERA WAS STRUGGLING to fight back tears as she opened the door to the house. She slammed it shut and leaned against it, closing her eyes and shaking. She was distraught that Aspen Grace Memorial was shutting down, but she was angry with herself because she was more upset about the fact that she had turned down Henry’s offer.
That she had said no to California and to him, because part of her wanted to go.
Only she couldn’t leave Colorado. Maybe he was right. Maybe she was waiting still.
Maybe emotionally she’d never left that diner.
Mandy was here, but there was a part of her deep down that clung to Aspen and Colorado. She was waiting for her father to come back, even though he never would. Her mother was dead, her dad in prison and Wilfred, he was dead, too. No one was coming for her.
Still, she couldn’t leave her family. She couldn’t leave Mandy alone.
Loneliness hurt, and she wouldn’t put Mandy through that kind of pain.
And that realization had hit too close to home.
She was angry with herself, but she could live with herself if it meant she was taking care of Mandy, because it was Mandy who needed her.
Does she?
Mandy had Derek. How long would she really need her?
She was afraid.
Afraid of getting hurt.
Afraid of being alone.
“Kiera?” Mandy called out.
“I’m home.”
Mandy wheeled out of her bedroom with Sif in her lap. “Oh, thank goodness, I was just about to call the state troopers. Especially when I was told your car had been seen being towed into the shop. I even called Agnes and she said you’d left.”
“The car died on the way back and my cell was dead, but I thought Henry called you?”
Or di
d he lie about that, too?
He hadn’t told her about his past or the fact his father had sent him here to deal with her. What if he’d just slept with her to distract her.
Well, it had worked.
“Henry called me, but I was still worried. I’m glad you’re okay.” Mandy cocked her head to one side. “Are you okay?”
Kiera broke down. “No. I’m not okay.”
She made her way to the couch and sat down, and that’s when the floodgates opened. She couldn’t hold it back any longer. It just came out of her. Emotions she hadn’t realized she’d been holding back, since Dr. Burke had died and since she’d been left alone in the diner. Emotions she had kept in check for so long because she never wanted to seem ungrateful for the second chance she’d been given when Wilfred took her into his home. She realized she’d forgotten how to feel. She’d been so busy trying to be happy, to be grateful, that she wasn’t really feeling.
“What happened?” Mandy asked gently.
“We were engaged. Henry and I.”
Mandy’s eyes widened. “Engaged?”
Kiera nodded. “It was fake. Or I thought it was.”
“It’s not?” Mandy asked, confused.
“We spent last night together.”
“Oh!” Mandy smiled. “What’s wrong with that then?”
“Henry wants me to go to California with him.”
“Why don’t you?”
“How can I leave?”
“How can you not? This is your chance at love. Take it.”
“Love?” Kiera asked numbly.
“Isn’t it? You spent last night together, and I saw the way you two looked at each other. It’s pretty obvious,” Mandy said.
“Yes. I think I’m in love with him.”
“I know! It’s great,” Mandy said, smiling.
“No. It’s not. The board shut down Aspen Grace Memorial Hospital. There was some kind of coup with the board and the shareholders. Henry didn’t get a chance to vote. The hospital was shut down, and the free clinic is gone.”
“What’re they going to build in its place?”
“Some kind of private plastic surgery clinic. One that caters to the rich. Face-lifts and Botox. Peels. Who knows?”
“I see.”
“I lost my job.”
Sif leaped down from Mandy’s lap and clambered up into hers. Kiera stroked the ginger cat lovingly. Sif’s moods were usually erratic, but it seemed that Sif knew she shouldn’t be a crazy banana pants right now.
That Kiera needed to pet her. It was nice.
“And Henry is going back to California, I take it?” Mandy asked. “Without you?”
Kiera nodded. “He wanted me to go with him. I said no.”
“Why? I mean, I thought the whole engagement thing was fast and surprising, but...”
“It was a fake engagement. He told his parents we were engaged to get them off his back, and in exchange he was going to protect the clinic for me. Then the coup happened, and the clinic didn’t survive the cut.”
Mandy rubbed her temples. “Okay, so let me get this straight, you guys were fake engaged. So in essence you both were sort of using each other to get something, but then you fell in love with him and he fell in love with you, and now neither of you is happy.”
“He doesn’t love me.”
“He invited you to California. I would say he cares about you.”
Kiera shook her head. “He doesn’t love me.”
“Why? Because he didn’t keep his end of the bargain?”
“No.”
“Then what?”
“I’m afraid. What if...” Kiera trailed off, unable to finish the sentence.
“He cheats on you like Brent cheated on you?”
Kiera sighed. “Yes...”
“He won’t.”
“Still... I...”
“Then what? Why did you turn him down? Are you feeling guilty about the hospital and the clinic? Don’t... Don’t feel guilty about that. There are other good clinics around. You might have to leave Aspen, but there are other towns close by. You did a lot for this community. There’s nothing to feel guilty about. Go with him.”
“I can’t.”
“Because you said no?” Mandy asked. “I don’t think he’ll care if you change your mind.”
“Mandy, how I can leave you?” Kiera brushed the tears away. “After all you and your dad did for me? How can I leave Colorado? I’ve never been able to leave Colorado.”
“Yeah, because you’re waiting for your family to come back? They’re not coming back.”
“I know that.” A tear slid down her cheek. “I know that now. And how foolish is that of me? I’ve been sitting around here waiting for them to come back, feeling like that little girl in the diner when you and your father were my family.”
“Exactly. He loved you.” Mandy reached out and took her hand. “I’m always here. I won’t leave you. Wherever we go, we’re family.”
“I loved him. And he left, too. I can’t leave you. I left you once and...”
“You are not the reason for my accident. Don’t you ever feel guilty about that. I’ve made my peace with what happened, and all the work you’ve done has been admirable, but I never asked that of you. Kiera, I’m fine. I’m okay.”
“No. Mandy... I don’t want you to be alone.”
Mandy took Kiera’s hand. “I’m not alone, Kiera. That’s what I’m trying to say to you. Derek and I are getting married. He proposed and I accepted.”
Kiera’s mouth dropped open. “You’re getting married?”
Mandy nodded. “Yes. I’m happy, Kiera. I love having you here in my life, and you’re welcome to stay forever. You’re my sister. I love you, but don’t put your life on hold anymore. Not for the family that abandoned you and certainly not for me.”
Kiera began to sob when the realization hit her that she had been putting her life on hold. She did the things she did because she was just paused. How long had she been doing that?
Waiting for people to come back as an excuse to keep everyone away.
And it hurt, because it was Mandy she clung to. She was so alone, but with Henry she felt alive.
It was scary to feel. To be alive.
She’d spent so many years, just frozen. Waiting.
And she didn’t know what for. Her biological parents were never coming back. Dr. Burke was dead. Mandy had Derek. Mandy had found love and was happy. Kiera had no one, but she could if she would take a leap of faith.
Mandy didn’t need her, and Kiera had been using Mandy as an excuse because she was so afraid of opening her heart, of letting someone in, of losing someone again. She was afraid of being left behind.
“I love you, Kiera. I will admit that I’ll hate it if you move to California, but I want you to be as happy as I am with Derek, and if Henry Baker is that person for you, you have to take the chance. Live your life!”
Kiera nodded. “I think I blew it with him.”
Mandy smiled. “I doubt that very much. Go, find him. Make things right.”
Kiera pulled Mandy into a hug, holding her tight. “I love you.”
“I know. I love you, too. Go. Be happy, that’s all our dad wanted. He wanted you to be happy and he would be proud of you for working and fighting so hard for the free clinic, but he also knew what love was with my mom. And he wanted that for you. He wanted that for both of us. So, go claim it.”
Kiera nodded. Sif jumped down off her lap and scampered away like a bat out of hell, which was Sif’s usual behavior around Kiera.
“I’ll be back.”
Mandy nodded. “I want to hear all about it later.”
Kiera grabbed her purse and headed out the door. She didn’t have a car, but Aspen Grace Memorial Hospital wasn’t far from her place. And she hoped th
at Henry had gone there first to confront his father.
She hoped that he wasn’t getting on a plane for California.
At least, not without her.
* * *
“You closed the free clinic?” Henry shouted as he slammed the door of the boardroom behind him.
Henry’s father looked up from the paperwork he was doing at the table. “It bled money. It made sense fiscally to do that. Maybe if you had been here to vote...”
“Voting by proxy takes into account what the absentee voter wants. You didn’t take that into account.”
“I thought I did,” his father said.
“Don’t give me that bullshit, Father. Your lackeys might eat that up, but I’m not one of your lackeys. Even though you want me to be.”
His father’s lips formed a thin line and Henry knew that he’d pissed him off.
Good.
He wanted to pick a fight with someone. He was crushed that Kiera had been so hurt and blamed him.
And Henry was angry with himself for putting himself out there only to be rejected. That his heart, was once more the object of pain.
He was furious that his father had sent him to Aspen and put him in this situation. And he was mad with himself for allowing it all these years.
His father would never change.
And he was tired of trying to please his parents for love they couldn’t give.
He was done.
And he wanted to fight.
“Well, I’m sorry that I didn’t understand your wishes, but Henry, you didn’t seem to understand mine when I asked you to come to Aspen and deal with the Dr. Brown situation. Instead, you brought her to one of my fundraisers, where she spent the whole evening chatting up investors who were more than happy to invest in the free clinic. And then I find out you’re engaged to her. And you couldn’t even announce it like I asked. You had to sneak around.”
Henry was confused. “So are you telling me that the free clinic has money?”
“Yes the free clinic has money, but that’s not the point. The point is you were supposed to come into Aspen and you were supposed to stop her from her ridiculous protesting and shut the free clinic and the hospital down. You owe me this.”
“I owe you nothing. You’re just mad she ruined your plans.”