by Kaye Blue
“I hope this might make up for it.”
I gestured to the counter, and she walked over.
“Chocolate-almond croissants? All is forgiven.”
“Awesome,” I said, sitting at the small bistro table in the corner after she had.
We sat in silence for a few moments, and then, after a breath, I met her eyes.
“I didn’t mean anything by it, you know?” I said, hoping I sounded as sincere as I felt.
She waved her hand. “I know, Adora. And I know this is…a lot. But I hope you remember that you’re my very best friend in this world, and nothing is going to change that.”
My throat was clogged with emotion, so I stayed silent until I had pushed them back. “Same, and I’m truly happy for you, Erin,” I finally said.
Not the most eloquent, but we both laughed, and just like that, any tension that might have been there was gone.
That shouldn’t have surprised me.
There was a reason I cared about Erin so much, but still, it was a nice reminder.
“I’m surprised you guys didn’t head straight for Bali after the reception,” I said.
“Sasha had business, and he still hasn’t packed,” she said, shaking her head, her thin braids brushing her face.
“And your shit was ready two weeks ago, right?”
“Three,” she said, laughing.
“I know you’re excited.”
“I am! And not just because I’m going on my honeymoon. It’s my first vacation ever! I mean, I’d hoped to go to Florida one day. But Bali? Never even imagined it.”
She was beaming, and I matched her smile.
Erin had always been pretty, but she was radiant now, her look one that only pure joy and true love could bring. I was both envious and unbelievably happy for her.
“Well, you know me and travel aren’t on speaking terms, but Bali does sound amazing. And being married looks good on you.”
My heart clenched a little bit, but I ignored that feeling, just like I ignored the pointed look Erin gave me. My aversion to travel was well known, but she was one of the few people I’d ever told why.
“Maybe one day…” she said, looking hopeful but not pushing.
I shook my head. “Nope. I’m good. I have everything I need right here.” I smiled, though I doubted it would convince her of anything.
“I hear you, but take it from me, putting yourself out there can really lead to some things.”
I stuffed the croissant in my mouth to keep from speaking, my mind drifting to the night before. I chewed, buying time to get control of myself, and then gave Erin a slight smile.
“So I need to find a dangerous, mysterious man and ask for his help?” I laughed, not saying that I had a particular man in mind and knowing I would never ask for his help.
She shook her head. “It worked out for me, but maybe not that. Just get out a little. Live.”
The last word was pointed, and I understood all too well what she meant.
But that didn’t mean I wouldn’t ignore it.
“Me? I baked over two hundred pounds of flour last week. Could you call that anything but living?”
I smiled, and Erin laughed and shook her head.
“Just think about it,” she said, sobering.
She wouldn’t push, but the fact she’d said something, even something uncomfortable, only confirmed how much she cared about me.
I didn’t deserve that.
“Sure,” I said, mustering a smile, “as long as you promise that you’ll focus on your husband and not give me another thought.”
“Deal. But I’m gonna be gone at least a month. I’ll call you,” she countered.
“Don’t you dare! And I’ll bet Sasha won’t give you the chance.”
She chuckled. “You’re probably right, but I’ll steal a few minutes here and there.”
“I have a bakery to take care of. I’ll be far too busy for chatter,” I said.
“Fine. But I’ll have Sasha send someone to check on you.”
Instantly, without thought, my mind went to Ghost…Mikhail. And just as quickly, I was hit by twin sensations, excitement of the type I’d never experienced before him.
Excitement at the memory of kissing him, having him kiss me.
Fear too.
But not fear that I’d never see him again.
Fear about what it meant that I so desperately wanted to.
“No,” I finally said, remembering that I needed to talk to Erin out of the idea. “I’ll be fine.”
She looked at me skeptically, then stood.
I did too, and she hugged me, the embrace soothing any rough edges.
“Have fun,” I said as we walked toward the door.
“I will. You take care of yourself.”
“I will,” I promised.
She lingered a moment and then got into a waiting SUV.
She waved right before the large man I could only assume was her guard closed the door.
I waved back, my smile big, genuine.
Joyful.
That joy was short-lived.
Within a few minutes after Erin left, I was hit by bout of melancholy, one that was surprising in its source.
Kissing Mikhail had been amazing, beyond. And in my gut, I knew I’d see him again.
But I couldn’t give in to desire, couldn’t allow the emotions I’d allowed to slip out ruin me.
Because I liked my life.
I had my bakery, my recipes, my friends, everything I needed to keep me safe and content.
Mikhail wasn’t safe.
And neither were the feelings he stirred or the things he made me want.
Five
Mikhail
It took everything, and I mean everything, I had not to go to see her.
After I’d left her after that kiss, I had done my best to put her out of my mind.
What a fucking joke.
Every moment I wasn’t thinking about her I spent telling myself not to think about her.
And the thing was, I liked it.
A lot.
Thinking about her, thinking about anything, really, was different.
Since I had met at Etienne, joined the Brotherhood, I had forced myself to keep my mind clear, empty, focused on the task at hand, nothing else.
And after years, I was an expert at that.
She had tossed the years of discipline away like they were nothing. Had seeped into me and made me imagine things beyond this moment.
Made me think about the past, which I hated.
Made me imagine—hope for—a future, which was even worse.
The only thing that kept me grounded was my work, the Brotherhood, and by the time I headed to Sasha’s restaurant a couple of days after the wedding, I was grateful for the distraction.
I nodded at the two guards out by the door, knowing that Etienne wasn’t here, but Sasha was maniacal about security now that he had gotten married.
I couldn’t say I understood, hadn’t had anything to care about for very long time, but I appreciated the gesture and respected the fact that he now had something worth protecting.
When I reached the office, I gave a friendly nod to Shay, who stood in one corner frowning.
I knew Riker was there before I saw him, and as I suspected, he was glaring at Shay, as usual.
“Etienne told me to babysit you. So that’s what I’m doing,” he said, his voice tight with barely restrained anger.
Riker was intense, which was saying a lot considering the company he kept, but he was more agitated than usual.
I glanced at Shay and saw that except for her subtle frown, she didn’t seem bothered, which always set him off.
“Irrespective of what he might have told you, I don’t need a babysitter, and I don’t take orders from you,” she said.
Her voice was quiet, also firm.
“Shay.”
At Sasha’s voice, she looked over at him, her expression softening ever so slightly.
&
nbsp; “Yes?” she said, her voice slightly calmer, more indulgent.
“I understand he can be difficult to take, but would you mind letting Riker drive you around today? It really would make all of us feel better if you have someone with you.”
“I don’t need a—”
Sasha shook his head, cutting her off. “I know you don’t need a babysitter, but I’d feel better if you weren’t alone.”
Shay looked at him, and I could see she wanted to protest, but after a moment, she nodded curtly.
“Consider it a wedding gift,” she said.
“Thank you,” he responded.
She turned and headed toward the door, Riker following behind her.
“That should a fun car ride,” Sasha said after they left.
I huffed, my usual response to their antics, and then studied Sasha.
“Anything I need to know about before I go?” he asked.
“Nothing serious. I’m keeping an eye on those fires.”
“The ones in the neighborhood where Erin’s store is?”
“Yes. I’m not concerned yet, but it’s on my radar,” I responded.
He nodded his agreement.
“How long will Shay be here in the city?” I asked.
“I’m not sure. Etienne thinks this is a good time to clean up the books, and you know she insists on being hands-on,” he said.
“That’s why he likes her,” I replied.
“Yeah, that and she’s the best money launderer in the business,” Sasha said.
“That helps too,” I said.
Sasha and I hadn’t discussed how strange it was that the quiet woman had risen in the upper ranks of a bratva family, but I was sure he counted her a friend as I did. It was the same for the others in the Brotherhood, which was a surprise, especially given how I’d come to be a part of it.
“When do you leave?” I asked Sasha
“This evening.”
“Enjoy the trip.”
“I will. But I’ve never been a vacation before.”
“Yes, I guess this business isn’t really vacation friendly.”
“It’s not, but I’m willing to try.”
“For her,” I said.
Something in my voice must have caught his attention. “Why do you say that?”
“Anybody can see that you love her. Love her enough to try to do normal stuff.”
“Yeah, I do,” he said without pause.
He kept his gaze on me.
“Ghost, is something else on your mind?”
I waited a moment and then spoke.
“Aren’t you worried?”
I wouldn’t have asked that question before, but after Adora and the way she made me feel, I was curious.
Not that I ever thought I would have what Sasha and Erin did, but I still wondered.
“That shit eats at me every day. If something ever happened to her…”
He trailed off.
“But,” he said a moment later, “I gotta deal with it, because being without her is not an option.”
I nodded, not quite sure I understood but appreciative nonetheless.
“Can I ask a favor?” he said.
“Of course.”
“Can you keep an eye on Erin’s friend Adora and her bakery?”
My heart rate kicked up, but I kept my exterior cool, or at least tried to.
“You expecting trouble?”
“No, but Erin cares about her.”
“Which means you want her taken care of,” I said.
He nodded.
I already held Sasha in high esteem, but it rose further. That he was looking after Adora helped, but seeing a reminder of the humanity I so often forgot was welcome too.
“I will.”
“And can you be discrete?”
“Of course,” I said, not entirely sure that was true. “But for any particular reason?”
“I doubt she would take kindly to the assistance,” he said.
“Probably not,” I responded.
If he was curious why I thought so, he didn’t ask, and I couldn’t help but think back to how much she resisted taking the ride from me.
How fierce she’d looked as she pointed her gun at me.
When I’d first seen her, I’d pegged her as soft, gentle, and while I suspected she was those things, there was steel underneath.
Stubbornness too.
“You need anything else?” I asked.
“No.”
“Then get the hell out of here,” I said, giving him a smile.
“Take care, Ghost. And try to keep Shay and Riker from killing each other.”
“A tall order,” I said.
“That it is,” he responded, laughing as he left.
I lingered once he was gone, intending to say away.
Told myself I would do so for her sake and my own.
But Sasha had asked me to look after her, and I was a man of my word.
And it was almost time for lunch.
My feet were headed to her before my mind could put up a fight.
Six
Mikhail
“You have a great day,” Adora said, smiling brightly at the couple standing in front of the register.
“You too,” the woman responded before turning back to her companion.
I stood to the side of bakery trying to be unobtrusive but knew she had seen me.
Something that was confirmed when she smiled even brighter, something that shouldn’t have been possible.
Something that definitely shouldn’t have made my heart kick.
She turned to face me, the light, the beauty radiating from her almost painful.
“Hi,” she said, her voice bubbly.
So much so that I didn’t respond immediately, couldn’t, my reaction to it, to her, too strong.
“Is something wrong?” she asked, her smile dropping ever so slightly, the change enough to shake me out of my lust-fueled stupor.
“No,” I said, realizing that she was probably concerned about Erin.
“Good. So, what brings you by?” she asked, her smile big again.
“I was hungry.”
I smiled and then quickly covered the expression, though I couldn’t swallow back the disgust with myself.
I was hungry?
Pathetic, even for me.
True, I hadn’t done this, talked to someone, given a shit about what they thought about me, let alone wanted to impress them in as long as I could remember. But fuck, I was out of practice.
“Well you’re in the right place! Is there something particular you want?”
You.
But I couldn’t say that, so instead I took one step, another, until I stood in front of the register. I shrugged.
“You’re not picky?” she asked.
“No,” I responded.
“In that case, just place yourself in my capable hands. I will prepare the lunch of your dreams,” she said.
Her eyes sparkled, her smile brighter now, and I almost groaned.
And it wasn’t intentional. I knew that she couldn’t have any idea of the effect she was having on me, but I was reminded that coming here had been a stupid fucking idea.
I nodded and reached for my wallet, hoping she wouldn’t notice the hard-on that was growing more prominent by second.
She waved her hand.
“Your money is no good here.”
“I—”
She cut me off with a shake of her head and an even brighter smile.
“Friends eat for free. It’s an unbreakable rule. Find a seat,” she said, nodding out toward the tables in the dining area.
I nodded and moved, too busy turning her words over in my head to argue with her.
She considered me a friend?
No doubt because of my relationship with Erin through Sasha, but still, the words nearly knocked the breath out of my lungs.
To imagine it…Adora being my friend.
I wanted more, so much more than I even could adm
it to myself, but the gift of her friendship was a treasure that seemed impossible.
“I’ll be with you in a few. You mind if I eat with you? It should be another half an hour or so before the lunch rush, and I want to grab a bite while I can,” she called as she moved around the restaurant.
“No, I wouldn’t mind,” I said, my voice low.
If she noticed something was off, she didn’t show it, and after I had settled at a table at the far end of the medium-sized place, one that allowed me to see the entrance and back door, I watched her.
She moved with grace and ease as she prepared what appeared to be sandwiches.
I told myself to look away, didn’t want to make her uncomfortable, especially with what I knew was the intensity of my gaze, but I couldn’t pull my eyes away from her.
Luckily for me, she didn’t seem to notice, or to care if she did notice.
So I watched as she moved. It was nice to see her like this. At the wedding, she’d been tense and embarrassed. And when I’d kissed her, I’d seen a longing that matched my own but that had an edge to it that I couldn’t quite name.
But the way she was now was perfect. Her face was serene but focused, her movements practiced, efficient, but also beautifully graceful.
As was everything about her.
There was nothing fancy in her attire, and if anything, she seemed to try to play herself down.
It didn’t work.
Even in jeans, a T-shirt, and flour-stained apron, her beauty radiated out from her and seemed to fill the entire space.
She was tall with a honey-brown completion that seemed to glow. Her chin, cheeks, and button nose were rounded, her lips neither thin nor full. Her features were pleasant, but her eyes were striking. Wide doe eyes that were almost too large for her face but that gave her a softness sometimes and revealed the depths of her at others.
An interesting face, one I would never tire of studying. Her body either. From what I had seen, her breasts were of average size, full but not overly generous. No, that abundance had been saved for the hips and ass that made me salivate.
How often had I imagined holding those hips as I pounded into her? Imagined her ass cushioning me as I took her from behind? More than I could count. I wanted to do right now. Bend her over the counter and fuck her hard and fast as I held those hips.
I looked away from her, fighting for control, again reminded that this woman was dangerous for me.