by Kendall Ryan
Is it even possible to be friends with a man I want so desperately?
When night falls, I’ve showered and brushed my teeth and done my regular nightly ritual, but I’m anything but ready for bed. My body is wound too tight. I’m beginning to think this new arrangement I’ve agreed to will never work.
After tossing and turning for an hour, I decide to go to Colton. I know my actions – going into his bedroom in the middle of the night – will define how we spend our next several months, but I don’t care. I need to see him, to talk to him, to understand what I’m getting myself into.
I creep down the hallway on tiptoes like a stealthy intruder and tap gently on his door.
No response.
Maybe he’s already asleep.
I let myself in and my eyes search out the darkened room. His blankets are in a messy heap on the bed, but I don’t see any movement.
"Colton?" I whisper.
Nothing.
I creep closer and kneel at the edge of the mattress. Now that my eyes have adjusted to the pitch darkness, I can see he’s not here. The room is quiet and empty.
A pang of disappointment, followed by curiosity flares inside me.
I venture off in search of him.
Chapter Five
Sophie
Nightfall has bathed the house in near total blackness, save for the little path lights that are strategically placed in outlets throughout the home. It’s just enough light for me to see as I navigate the stairs and head toward Colton’s office. I pass the den on my way and confirm he’s not in there. Perhaps he couldn’t sleep either and he’s gotten up to work. His blankets were strewn across his bed like he’d fought with them. My guess is that he attempted sleep, just like me, and lost the battle.
His office door is open and a lamp provides a swath of soft light. I hear grunting sounds and my stomach lurches.
I step around the doorway and I’m utterly shocked at what I find.
Colton is sitting in his leather chair, his pants are undone and his thick cock is standing proudly. His hand is moving up and down in short, uneven strokes and he’s grunting softly.
My pussy clenches at the sight of him. I release a tiny whimper and his eyes snap up to mine.
"Christ, Sophie." He tucks himself back inside his pants, which is not an easy task. He’s rock hard and his engorged cock does not look happy to be stuffed into the confined space. I wince just watching him.
"Don’t you fucking knock?" he barks in my direction.
"The door was open," I murmur, feeling idiotic.
He looks behind me to the open doorway. "I suppose it was. What are you doing out of bed though?"
"I think the better question is, what are you?" I feel cheeky and want to watch him squirm a bit at being caught. Except he’s collected and composed, and continues watching me calmly.
He shakes his head at me, obviously not taking the bait. "Don’t ask questions that you’re not prepared to hear the answers to."
I’m not sure what he means, but I cross the room and stand before him, my legs still shaky from what I just witnessed. "You were pleasuring yourself."
He’s quiet and still.
I hadn’t meant it as an accusation, but thankfully Colton doesn’t seem to take offense. "I’m just curious…"
"I have needs, Sophie, as you know."
I nod. "We both do." I take a step closer.
"Be careful, sweetness. You’re playing with fire, tempting me, making me want something I can’t have."
"Who says you can’t?" I don’t know who the girl is taunting him, but I’m feeling bold and restless and lonely. It’s a piss poor combination, and makes me want to act out.
He lifts one dark eyebrow, watching me closely. "Did you change your mind about all this, because I’ll fuck you here and now, so deep you’ll still feel my cock inside you tomorrow."
I don’t say anything else, mostly because I don’t know what to say, but my body is humming with anticipation. My nipples harden against the flimsy tank top and my panties cling to my sensitive folds.
Colton releases a frustrated groan and pushes his palm against his erection – which is definitely still there. "What in the actual fuck, Sophie?" His tone is a cross between playful and angry.
"I’m sorry I interrupted you," I say.
"Fuck it," he says, leaning his head back against the leather chair and closing his eyes.
When he opens them again, his anger is gone. All I see is lust.
"Why didn't you ever take me?" I ask.
"As the weeks passed, you started to mean more to me. I didn't want to take something from you that wasn't mine."
It is yours, I want to tell him. "But that day that Stella showed up, you were going to." I'd seen the look of resolve in his eyes and I knew he was finally going to give himself to me.
"Because I knew in that moment you belonged to me. Even without the auction, without the agreement. You were mine."
I watch his eyes, not disagreeing in the slightest. I still am.
The way his dark gaze sweeps over to mine tells me he wants me, yet he’s choosing not to push me. I want to know why. "Why did you suggest we be just friends?" I ask.
He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. Then he motions for me to sit down in one of the chairs across from his desk.
I follow his lead and sit, tucking my bare legs underneath me. The tank top and pajama short set I’m wearing is no match against the cool air conditioning. Either that or my body is still trembling from what I witnessed when I walked in.
"I was developing real feelings for you, something that scared the fuck out of me given my past."
"I don’t understand. We were both falling…" It’s the first time I’ve admitted my true feelings, but something tells me this is no surprise to him.
Colton doesn’t say anything, he just patiently watches me like we have all night to sit here and speak in riddles. Perhaps his just friends speech was only that – a hollow request made only to get me to stay.
"If you want a real shot with me, I need a few things from you," he says.
"Such as?"
"You know I’ve been burned before when it comes to women, and money and trust."
"Yes," I acknowledge.
"Women usually only want me for my money," he adds.
"What does that have to do with me?" I am the furthest thing from a gold digger there is.
"Well, you have to admit the start to our relationship doesn’t exactly instill confidence. You only agreed to go with me that night because I was paying you."
"Yes, but as I got to know you, you know it wasn’t about the money. That money was for Becca. I told you I’ll give you the rest back right now."
"That’s not what I want." His tone is adamant and I feel like we’re spinning in circles.
"What do you want then?"
"Something much more valuable…" His eyes trace a path along my exposed cleavage, making my nipples harden.
I remain quiet, waiting expectantly and wondering what he has in mind.
"I want to know I can trust you. I need your faith and belief in me that I’ll handle my past."
"You can trust me…" I start.
"Talk is cheap and I’ve been burned before. What happened with Stella makes it hard for me to believe in women, Sophie. Lack of judgment and one broken marriage under my belt may be understandable, but two? That’s not something I’m willing to risk. Friends is safer right now."
"You don’t trust me?"
He doesn’t respond.
"You’re the one who concealed the truth," I blurt.
"That may be, but you wanted to know how I felt and I’m telling you," he says.
"I don’t know what you’re trying to tell me," I admit. "You have to know that I’m nothing like her, Colton." I hate that one wicked woman has ruined it for the rest of us.
The look he gives me is incredulous. "You’re only in my life because of monetary reasons. I paid you to be here, and you ra
n out on me as soon as things got tough. What am I supposed to think?" he says, pinning me with a heated glare.
God, he’s right. When I look at my actions through that lens, I can see what he means. I was only here because of the money. As soon as I was confronted with his past, I ran out on him, refusing to listen to a single word.
"I need to be able to trust the woman that I’m with," he adds.
It wrecks me to see our arrangement through his eyes, to know that he viewed me as another woman only interested in his wealth. I stand and fold my arms over my chest. Why I’d ever thought this friends only thing was a good idea, I have no clue. "This isn’t going to work for me. I want you. You want me. Yet you don’t trust women. And I can’t just overlook your marriage. We’re at an impasse."
"So it seems." Colton drums his fingers on his desk.
Standing there in the quiet solitude of his office, I wonder what in the world I’ll do now. I consider packing my bags and going home, but deep down inside, I know that’s not the solution. I’d be doing exactly what Colton expects. Running away. I need to stay and show him there’s a different way. Even if it scares the ever loving crap out of me.
An idea takes hold and I’m unable to shake it away. My mouth starts working before my brain can even catch up with what I’m proposing. "I have moral standards. Ones that dictate I don’t sleep with married men."
He watches me curiously.
I sit down in front of him once again and take a calming breath. "I want to prove to you that you can trust me. That you can put your faith in a woman again."
"How?"
"By putting myself aside and submitting to you like I should have done from the first day you bought me."
Hungry eyes flash on mine. "I don’t understand."
"I’m scared, Colt. Of all of this. My feelings for you, of being hurt, of giving you my virginity. I’m scared you won’t sever ties with Stella. But I have faith in you. This is my way of showing you that I trust you to do the right thing and the best way I can prove to you that I’m not going anywhere is to give myself to you."
"Sophie…" he groans, rubbing a hand through his hair.
"You can have me any way you want me."
"You can’t mean that."
I nod slowly, letting my offer sink in. "Anything you want."
"I want your virginity, sweetness. I want total claim over you. It’s the only way to show me that you’re really here for me."
"But you said friends," I tease, lightly, drawing out the delicious verbal sparring that is so much like foreplay.
"Fuck being friends. I want to be inside you."
"I want that too," I say. "More than anything."
"You sure about that?"
I nod, meeting his dark gaze. "There was a man I met at a bar in Italy, he was attractive and polite and…"
"Did you want to fuck him, Sophie? Did you want him to put his cock inside of you?"
His possessive side makes me feel warm and flustered. "Just listen," I admonish. "I could have slept with him, and in fact Becca encouraged it. She said still being a virgin was my choice and I could have gone through with it."
"But you didn’t?"
I shake my head. "I knew it should be you. I want it to be you."
He rises to his feet and pulls me up against him. My chest is flush with his and his arms wrap around my middle, crushing me to him. It steals my breath and I stand there, motionless, letting him hold onto me for dear life. The move is surprisingly tender, and I can tell my offer has struck something within him.
I can’t think of a single thing to say, but I know with resounding clarity this isn’t something that can be spoken. He needs to see my actions to understand where my loyalties lay. Just as I'm contemplating my next move, he lays his head on my shoulder, resting his cheek against the top of my breast. I can feel his breath ghosting over my nipples in soft pants. My skin heats with the nearness of him, but this isn’t sexual. It’s a sweet gesture, like he’s acknowledging my acceptance of him and all his baggage.
I begin to wrap my arms around him, but he stops me, taking my hands and holding them at my sides, linking his fingers with mine. He lifts his head from my shoulder, looking me straight in the eye. Our palms are pressed together and neither of us says a word. It feels intimate and familiar.
I hate how damaged he is, and I’m only just understanding the full depth of it in this moment. He’s normally so assured, so demanding, that this tender side of him is completely unexpected.
Our eyes remain locked together and it’s as if both of us are sharing the same thought. We’re taking one giant step forward as a couple, each baring ourselves. Him, learning to trust again, and me throwing caution to the wind with a married man. Even without the contract, he owns me, and I’d been foolish to think I could just walk away. I am his.
Bowing his head to mine, he presses a soft kiss to my lips. My eyes lazily drift closed and I part my lips, accepting him. His tongue strokes mine, inviting me to play.
After several minutes of his deep, hungry kisses, I pull away, breathless. "You said it’s been two years. That’s a long time to wait."
He swallows, his adam’s apple bobbing. His hands unlink from mine and travel up my arms to cup my face. "What game are you playing?" he asks, a confused edge to his voice.
"No games. Just us. You need to be able to trust the woman you’re with."
"Of course," he agrees.
"I’m yours, sir. Anything you want. The kinkiest thing you can dream up." I gaze up at him, meaning every word. I feel naughty and sexual and I like it. I’ve laid myself bare and I have no idea what he’s thinking.
"If I want to bend you over and fuck you until you’re raw?"
The hungry edge to his voice is unmistakable. I want to fulfill his every desire and ease this tension between us more than I want my next breath. "Anything you want," I murmur.
"And if I want to take your tight little ass?"
My stomach flips, but my eyes remain on his. I don’t know if he’s trying to scare me, or if that’s something he actually desires. Straightening my shoulders, I respond. "Then I’m game. I believe in you. And I believe in us."
"Are you sure about this? Because once I’m buried inside you, I won’t be able to stop."
"I’m sure." At least I think I am. "When do we start?" I ask.
"Now."
His harsh tone startles me. And the heat in the room seems to ratchet up several degrees. "Do you want my mouth?" I ask, lowering myself to my knees on the plush carpeting.
"No." He gazes down at me, and strokes my cheek with his thumb. "As tempting as this pretty little mouth of yours is, I need to fuck you."
A gasp out a strangled breath. I’d forgotten how explicit he could be about his needs. The sweet tender Colton is gone. The man standing before me is all masculine strength and domineering presence.
I swallow and give a tight nod.
Colton
Sophie doesn’t know that I’ve already signed the divorce papers, but her trust in me means everything. I knew my instincts were right about her. Not only is she every man’s wet dream come true, but she has a heart of gold too. She understands my trust issues and she’s going out on a limb in the only way she knows how to prove to me that she’s here for the right reasons. I almost want to weep when I realize it.
Sophie waits anxiously on her hands and knees, completely naked before me. Her complete trust in me is staggering and unexpected. It ignites all kinds of feelings I thought I’d sworn off long ago.
The night has certainly taken a turn for the better. After a heated phone call with Stella, I’d crawled into bed alone. I lay there unable to sleep and realized I was being incredibly fucking childish. I’d shucked off the blankets and ventured to my office to review the documents from my attorney that had been sitting in my inbox for far too long. I’d printed them and stared down at them for an eternity, my head buzzing and heart aching. I'd signed them on the spot, the weight on my chest lifti
ng almost immediately.
Why in the world I’d told Sophie that I would be her friend, I had no clue. I was wound so tight that before I even knew it, I had my cock in my hand when Sophie found me. And now she kneels before me, her ass turned up and her hands buried in the plush carpeting of my office. I walk around her and see her spine stiffen.
"Relax, sweetness," I say. "You promised me anything I wanted," I remind her.
I come to a stop behind her and am pleased to see her pussy glistening with dewy moisture. I haven’t laid a hand on her yet – I just ordered her to strip, and she had, baring herself to me completely before falling to her hands and knees at my command. It’s a fucking beautiful sight and my cock aches at the thought of finally taking her. But I won't rush tonight.
I stand over her and slowly unbutton my shirt, discarding it to the floor with her clothes. I can feel Sophie’s eyes watching my movements, her head turned back to look at me. Knowing she’s watching and that she’s every bit as turned on as I am fuels me. Her eyes burn straight through me, creating a physical ache. I take my time, unlatching my belt and pull it slowly from my pants. Opening the front of my dress pants, I push my boxers down my hips and take my cock in my right hand. I don’t need to look up to know she’s zeroed in on my every move.
She watches me stroke myself in long, even pulls, her eyes tracing every hard inch of me.
"Are you ready for me, sweet girl?" I ask.
Her eyes dart up to mine and she gives a wordless nod.
I drop to my knees, positioning myself behind her and place my hands on the rounded curve of her ass cheeks. Using my thumbs, I part her lower lips and find her wet and ready.
Now that is a fucking turn on. I haven’t even touched her yet and my angel is soaking wet for me.
I position myself at her entrance and tease her with the tip of my cock, gliding it back and forth. Her warmth envelopes me and the sensation makes my balls tighten against my body. Fuuuck. I can already tell the sex between us is going to be intense and I haven’t even penetrated her yet. She’s said that she wants this, but I have to be sure before I take something so precious from her. She wiggles her hips, pushing back against me and I almost lose my shit right then and there. I grip her ass and stifle a groan, watching the wide head of cock press into her pink flesh.