He would need to know this. He would need to know so much more! And he couldn’t think of anyone better to learn from, than Lane.
Tori knew this woman as if she were her mother. And that was why he understood the look in her eyes when they’d stood at the bottom of the stairs and her face had looked a little sad.
It was clear the two of them had a great relationship. Not once had he heard Tori cry. She seemed a happy baby and that was thanks to the care and love that Lane had provided. There was no way he was going to just dismiss that.
Cole accepted the mug of coffee she pressed into his hands and waited for her to sit down on the couch opposite.
Her place was nice. Warm and comforting. He noticed a couple of pictures of Skye on the mantelpiece. Did she have others? And there was a huge bookcase, filled with fiction, that he longed to go to and look at to see what kind of books she liked to read.
‘I want you to know I appreciate how difficult this must be for you,’ he said.
Lane looked across at him. ‘Do you?’
‘I do. I know how I’d feel if I was in your position.’
She smiled. ‘Well, I was in your position, once. Suddenly having a daughter after going through a great loss. It’s a lot to take in.’
‘It certainly is. And I want you to know... I guess what I really want to say is that you can count on me. I’m not going to walk away. I’m here. I can be depended upon. You can trust me.’
She looked down at the ground, then back up again. Clearly she was thinking about things that she didn’t want to say. Was she afraid to say them?
‘I’d like to stay involved in Tori’s life—if you’d like me to, of course.’
He’d meant to show that he was open to how this relationship was going to go. That he didn’t want to stand on Lane’s toes, or demand anything.
This was so difficult. Of course he was going to make mistakes here! But he didn’t want to upset Lane. Or Tori. Not at all. And the realisation of that made him realise just how much he cared for the both of them already.
‘You’re clearly the most important person in her life. You’re her godmother. You’ll never lose her. She will always know who you are and how important you are.’
He hoped that sounded better. Her face seemed to soften. It gave him hope that he hadn’t offended her too much.
‘She’s my world, Cole. My reason to keep going. These last few months it’s been hanging over my head, knowing I had to find you. In the early days I was still struggling to cope with my grief and raise a baby. I knew time was ticking away. Counting down. I never wanted to knock on your door and just tell you what had happened. I didn’t think you’d believe me. I had no idea what kind of man you were. So, once I was properly on my feet, and knew what I was doing, I got the job at the surgery to see. Part of me hoped I could walk away without ever telling you, so I didn’t have to share her. But now you know, and it terrifies me, because she has been all I’ve thought about for what seems like a lifetime. I could never let anyone hurt her.’
He understood that. ‘Then we need to find a way to make this work for both of us. And for Tori.’
‘Yes. We do.’
‘A routine. A structure. So we don’t confuse Tori, either.’
‘All right. What do you suggest?’
He thought for a moment. ‘Maybe to start with I could come round each evening? To play with her? Maybe take her for a walk? Get her ready for bed and put her down?’
‘Okay. And what about weekends?’
‘I can do whatever fits in with you.’ He needed to show her that he wanted to work with her on this. He didn’t want to seem like he thought he was the one who got to call the shots. She was the guardian, not him.
‘I like to take her out at weekends. There’s a Faery Fayre this Saturday. Everyone gets to dress as fairies. So you probably wouldn’t want to do that.’ She smiled.
He grinned. ‘Are you kidding? I’d love it.’
‘Really?’ She looked surprised.
‘Absolutely. Tell me when and where and I’ll be there.’
* * *
Lane laughed out loud when she saw him at her door on Saturday morning. He wore his usual jeans and a shirt, but he also wore a large pair of fairy wings attached to his back and he had a swirl of green and pink glitter running along his cheekbone and curved around his left eye. He even held a silver wand.
‘What do you think? Will I blend in?’ He smiled at her.
Lane couldn’t stop laughing. He looked like a dad. A dad trying to please his daughter. ‘I think you might! Come on in. Come see my own little fairy.’
She led him through to the living room, where Tori sat on the floor, pink wings attached to her back by the elastic straps around her arms. She squealed and waved her arms when he appeared.
Cole stooped down to pick her up and settled her on one hip. ‘You look beautiful! But, then again, you’re beautiful anyway. Ready to rock the fairy world?’
Tori blew a raspberry and a bubble escaped her mouth.
‘I’ll take that as a yes,’ he said. He turned to Lane. ‘Anything I can help with? I’ve packed a small picnic basket in the car.’
‘Oh! Right... That’s great. Thank you. I just need to grab my wings and then we can go. Shall we go in my car? It means not having to keep moving the car seat.’
‘Perfect. I’ll grab the picnic from mine.’
They got Tori settled in her seat, after removing her wings, then Cole removed his so he could put on his seatbelt. When the engine started the usual music began. A woman’s voice singing about the wheels on a bus.
Cole began joining in with the song and Lane smiled as she drove them to the fayre. How had she suspected he would be a terrible dad? He was giving this one hundred percent! Most men would shun the idea of dressing as a fairy, but not him! He’d gone for it—including make-up! She reminded herself to take a photo of him when they got there.
Parking for the fayre was busy. She hadn’t realised how busy it would be, and they had to park in a faraway field and put their wings back on before making their way back to the village high street, where the main fayre was being held.
There were flowerpot shies, instead of coconut shies. Stalls selling fairy outfits. A face painter. A bouncy castle. Lots of stalls selling food. There was even a dog show, with the dogs dressed as fairies! The cutest one Lane saw was a tiny little pug puppy, with purple wings and a small tiara on its head. And most people had made the effort too. Everyone was smiling—it really was perfect.
Cole bought them both some pink candy floss, and then he bought her a beautiful lei of pink and yellow flowers that he draped around her neck. She was having so much fun! She might almost believe they were a family.
She forced the thought out of her mind and pulled her phone from her pocket. ‘Let’s take a picture.’
Cole leaned in and she snapped the shot, showing it to him.
He grinned. ‘Let’s take one with Tori near all those balloons.’
He unclipped her from her pushchair and went over to a balloon seller, who had helium balloons of all designs—unicorns, rabbits, foxes, ladybirds. Just as she took the photo Tori turned to look at her father and laughed. It was a perfect moment. One that warmed her heart and made her want to be in the picture with the two of them.
‘Excuse me,’ she asked a woman passing by with her own children. ‘Could you get a snap of us all together?’
The woman nodded, smiling, and Lane posed with Cole and Tori.
‘What a great dad!’ the woman said as she handed back the phone. ‘My hubby refused to come!’
That made Lane feel good. Some men wouldn’t feel comfortable coming to a fairy fair and dressing in wings and make-up, but Cole did. He was proving to her that he would go the extra mile to make memories they could look back on and smile. He was selfless and she wa
s enjoying his company.
Why had she ever thought she was in love with Simon? The man had been the definition of selfish!
‘Thank you.’ She slipped her phone back into her pocket. ‘Ooh, look—a fortune-teller! Shall we see what she says?’
Cole laughed. ‘If you like. Do you believe in that sort of thing?’
‘Not really, but I think it will be fun.’
Lane led them over to the small marquee where the fortune-teller sat. Her name was Melrose, and on her table she had a crystal ball, as well as a deck of tarot cards, and a sign told them she read palms, cards and minds!
Melrose invited her to sit down and Lane held out her hand for her palm to be read.
The fortune-teller gazed at her hand for a moment. ‘You have a long, clear life line here.’
Lane smiled. ‘Does that mean I’ll live a long time?’
Melrose neither admitted it nor denied it. ‘Your love line is straight, but then—do you see this curve here—it seems to take off? That’s because you’ve found true love.’
‘Okay...’
Found true love? Melrose was saying she’d already found it? Well, she had to be wrong, didn’t she, because she was single right now. And she couldn’t be referring to Simon, because there was no way he was her true love!
She glanced nervously at Cole, who held Tori in his arms. It couldn’t be Cole. Yes, she liked him a lot—and, yes, she was attracted to him, but... No, fortune-telling was just a bit of fun, that was all. Nothing scientific about it. Nothing real.
‘Your marriage line, here, is whole. Uninterrupted. Your relationship will last.’ Melrose looked at both Lane and Cole.
The fortune-teller thought they were married!
‘Oh, we’re not together!’ Lane explained, cheeks flushing furiously. ‘We’re colleagues, but nothing more!’
Melrose smiled and leaned back. ‘You have some surprises coming your way.’
‘What kind?’
‘You’ll travel overseas together.’
Overseas? Like...to a medical conference? Lane didn’t think this fortune-teller was very good at all—but then again, what had she expected?
‘And there will come a moment, quite soon, when you will have to make a leap of faith.’
‘In regard to what?’
‘That’s all your palm shows. It’s impossible to give exact details.’
Lane walked away from the fortune-teller feeling slightly aggrieved. She’d known it would just be a bit of a laugh, but for some reason she’d hoped—just a tiny bit—that the fortune-teller would tell her something that would ring true. In fact, she’d got almost everything wrong, and guessed at things in the future that were very vague.
She’d been the worst of cold readers and it was something that Lane would never try again. And what about the leap of faith. Had that already happened? When she’d chosen Skye and the baby over Simon? It had to be that.
It couldn’t possibly be anything else.
* * *
Cole hadn’t expected to feel hurt when he heard Lane explain that they were colleagues and nothing more. He’d thought they were more than that. More than people who just worked together. He’d hoped that they were at least friends.
She was the legal guardian of his daughter. He was the father. Yes, they worked together—temporarily—but he was making a real effort to make Lane feel that she belonged both at work and in this relationship they were forging. Yes, it was a work in progress, and perhaps it always would be, but to say they were nothing more than colleagues...? That suggested a distance between them. A distance that he’d hoped wasn’t there.
Perhaps he was reading too much into what was happening here? Perhaps he ought to be focused on being the best father he could to baby Tori? Because she was the important one here and she was the one he didn’t want to lose.
I don’t want to lose Lane either.
It was perfect right now, wasn’t it? The three of them. He was the father and she, technically, was the mother. They were a perfect little family.
Why would he want to change anything? But maybe he had to clarify his thinking? Be the best father Tori needed, be a good colleague to Lane and leave it at that? After all, did he really need to be involving another woman in his life? And his building feelings towards Lane were making him feel guilty. What if all this ended in a bad way? After all, it was what he was used to happening...
But even as he tried to convince himself that he needed to make a clear boundary with Lane a small voice in his head was shouting that it wasn’t what he really wanted. That what he wanted was to be close to Lane. He looked at her now, pushing the buggy in her fairy wings, her dark brown hair swinging as she walked. He looked at the set of her jaw, the shape of her full mouth. The way she was biting that bottom lip as if she were thinking about something...
He had to look away. Concentrate on where he was going. There were so many people here!
Tori began rubbing at her eyes. Was she tired?
‘Let’s put this one in her buggy,’ said Lane. ‘I think she may go to sleep.’
He gently laid Tori in her seat and strapped her in safely, then gave her the cuddly toy she liked to hold when she slept.
Look at us. The three of us.
This could have been the family he’d once dreamed of doing stuff like this with. Here it was—his chance to enjoy it to the full—and all he could think of was that Lane had said they were colleagues and nothing more.
‘You all right? You look...odd.’
She’d noticed. ‘I’m fine,’ he said.
‘Maybe I should sprinkle some fairy dust on you? To make you look magical again, like you did this morning.’
He smiled at her attempt to cheer him up. She wanted them to be on good terms and so did he.
‘Fairy dust?’
She pulled a small pouch from her pocket. It was filled with glitter. ‘I bought some at a stall. You never know when it might come in handy.’
‘It’s glitter.’
‘It’s magical glitter. And it’s environmentally friendly. Come on—hold out your hand and make a wish.’
He didn’t want to. He felt silly. But, then again, he was standing there wearing fairy wings, and he had glitter on his face already, so what were a few more sparkles?
He held out his hand and she poured some glitter into it.
‘Now, squeeze your hand tight, make a wish and then scatter it over your shoulder. Just make sure no one’s walking behind you when you do—we don’t want to blind anyone.’ She laughed.
He liked the way her smile and her laughter lit up her face. It did something wonderful to her eyes. They gleamed. She was having a good time, and he didn’t want to spoil that. So he squeezed his hand tight.
What to wish for?
To get to know Tori more? Or for a more formal arrangement with her? He looked into Lane’s smiling face and the thought came unbidden.
I wish I could kiss Lane.
His gaze went to her smiling mouth. Her lips...
What? Where did that come from? He felt his cheeks colour and he scrambled to think of Tori instead as he threw the glitter over his shoulder.
‘What did you wish for?’ asked Lane.
‘I can’t tell you. Then it won’t come true!’
She laughed and squeezed her own hand and her eyes tight shut.
He stared at her, welcoming this moment to just look at her and not have her observe him. Her childlike glee was mesmerising. What was she wishing for?
You could take this moment and kiss her.
He shook his head, trying to clear the thought. He couldn’t kiss Lane. She was Tori’s guardian. Her godmother. His colleague. If he did it would complicate all that was going on with them already—and they had enough between them to deal with without a romance, too.
What if they got together and the relationship didn’t work out? How would that work with Tori? It could be a bitter split and she could take away his daughter. He didn’t think she would—she seemed a nice person, and not the vindictive kind—but what if it happened? He couldn’t lose Tori now and know it was his own fault. He’d lost his wife through a stupid mistake—he wasn’t going to mess this up, too.
Lane opened her eyes and threw the glitter over her shoulder. ‘Wish made. Let’s hope they both come true.’
He smiled at her and nodded. ‘Let’s hope.’
CHAPTER FIVE
THEY WERE WALKING ALONG, thinking about where to have their picnic, when they noticed a small crowd of people up ahead. Lane looked at Cole, who frowned. It looked as if there was someone on the ground.
‘I’ll take a look.’
Cole dashed forward, gently pushing his way through the gathering.
Lane watched him get swallowed up by the crowd and thought she glimpsed blood on the person, but couldn’t be sure.
Then she heard, ‘Has anyone got any bandages?’
Her heart began to pound. Clearly someone was in trouble! She wanted to help too. Cole might need her.
She began to push her way through the crowd, using the buggy like a snow plough. ‘Excuse me! I can help!’
The crowd parted and let her through and there, reminiscent of her first meeting with Cole, she saw an elderly lady lying on the ground. But this time she saw, beneath the woman’s right leg, a lot of blood soaking into the grass.
‘Cole?’
‘Somebody call for an ambulance, please,’ he said calmly. ‘Let them know there’s a doctor on scene, but tell them they need to get here as soon as possible with a pressure bandage.’
His hands clasped the lady’s leg and they were slippery with blood. An elderly gent—the woman’s husband?—passed Cole a white handkerchief, clean and pressed into a square, from his pocket.
Healed by His Secret Baby Page 6