“I know.” I squeeze his hand. “I think the best way to explain my feelings is that I’m proud of where I am. My parents told me when I majored in social work that I’d come crawling back to them one day, crying over being broke and miserable. They wanted me to marry Aiden so he could talk some sense into me and get me to leave my job and just be a wife and mother. But I made my own choices, and I love my life. I don’t have much, but everything I have, I earned. I don’t have to depend on anyone.”
Olivier puts an elbow on the table, putting a hand over his chin. “Do you still have feelings for Aiden?”
I cringe. “God, no. Unless by feelings you mean disgust and regret. No, I never felt…deeply for him anyway. When we got together, we were young and I just felt like that was what I was supposed to do. Settle down.”
Olivier exhales, looking relieved. “I’m not wanting to rush you into anything, Daph. And I understand your childhood clouding how you feel about things. I go through that myself. I may look like I have it all together and never question anything, but that’s just not true.”
“What do you question?” I ask, trying to figure out what this sexy, successful man could ever feel unsure about.
“Mostly my parenting skills. Giselle…she struggles with depression, and it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever experienced. Nothing I do or say helps. Watching her hurt makes me feel helpless. Inadequate.”
His obvious love for his daughter, and his vulnerability in this moment, make me fall a little harder than I already have. Part of me wants to confess my feelings, and another part wants to run out of here as fast as possible.
“I can understand that,” I say softly. “But depression doesn’t work like that. All you can do is love her and try to get her help.”
“I know, but her mother is…not the best parent, and I want to compensate for that by being the best. Not miss a thing and be there anytime she needs me. I don’t know that I can, but it doesn’t stop me from trying.”
“You’re a good dad.”
His lips turn up slightly in a smile. “Thanks. I feel indecision on other things, too. There are times I have to make decisions that cost people their jobs. Those decisions save other people’s jobs, but it doesn’t make it any easier.”
“Do you know what you want?” I ask in a rush. “In terms of us, I mean.”
“I’m a little afraid to answer that,” he says sheepishly. “Do you know?”
“No.”
He nods. “I want to keep going. I really like you, Daphne. And I don’t want to push you into anything you aren’t ready for, but I think we could be really good together.”
“I don’t want to live in a mansion and attend thousand-dollars-a-plate galas.”
“What if the galas are for charity?”
Huh, I hadn’t considered that yet. “It would depend what percentage was going to charity, and what the charity was.”
He smiles. “Why do we have to decide where we’d live? Can’t we just…keep going? See where this leads us?”
“Would you be proud of me?” I ask, my heart hammering nervously. “If we were together, would you be proud of where I work and what I stand for?”
He sits back, lowering his brows. “Of course I would. I am. I’m not your family, Daph. You have to let go of thinking that or this will never work.”
“I know. It’s hard.” I give him an apologetic look. “I’m sorry. Can I have some time to think about things?”
“Of course. Take all the time you need.”
“So, do you get hit on by women all the time?” I give him an amused look, trying to cover my insecurities about moving forward as a couple. “I mean, you are Chicago’s Hottest Bachelor.”
His expression turns serious. “I’ve never been interested in women who throw themselves at me. I’ve always wanted to be with someone who likes me for me. Not for money or fame or free hockey tickets.”
“Maybe you should give away all your money,” I crack. “I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off you then.”
He shakes his head. “I’ve worked too hard to do that. And when I say someone who likes me for me, I mean it. Even with the money, and even if I lost every penny. If you can’t get past it, I’ll respect that. But you’re the first woman I’ve ever been with who isn’t chasing after what I have, and that…it feels really good, Daph. Everything about us feels good.”
Our pizza is delivered then, and Olivier changes the subject, asking if I’ve heard from Jada. I haven’t. He switches to another benign topic, and I hold up my end of the conversation, but inside, I’m reeling.
He has insecurities, too. He wants to be seen and appreciated for who he truly is as a person.
I wasn’t expecting this at all. It turns out Olivier and I aren’t as different as I had myself convinced we were.
Chapter Fifteen
Daphne
“Is your phone working properly?” my mother demands. “I’ve left at least ten messages in the last few days.”
“Hi, Mom.” I shrug off my coat and sigh softly.
If it wasn’t my nephew Heath’s birthday, I wouldn’t be anywhere near my parents’ house. I can’t miss his party, even if it means dealing with my mother.
“Well?” She glares at me.
“Leave the poor girl alone, Sandy,” Grandma Jo says as she walks into the foyer.
“Hi, Grandma,” I say, hugging her gratefully.
“You look different,” she says, standing back to examine me. “Your skin looks clearer than I’ve ever seen it.”
“Um…thanks.”
She leans in to speak in my ear.
“Are you and Frenchie getting it on a lot? I’ve heard that’s good for your health.”
There’s no escaping the inappropriate questions here. With all the photos of me and Olivier that have been circulating, I knew my family would want details. It’s none of their business, though.
“You know, I need to go find my nephew and tell him happy birthday,” I say.
I take Heath’s gift—art supplies—back to the main family room, where I hear kids playing. Julia walks toward me, arms open wide.
“I wondered if you’d bring Olivier,” she says in a low tone.
I scoff. “I wouldn’t do that to anyone I like.”
It’s been almost a week since I last saw him. Today is Saturday, and since our lunch last Sunday, we’ve texted every day. He’s not overbearing, checking in morning, noon and night, but at least every day, he sends a message to say he’s thinking of me or to share something funny. I laughed out loud when he told me his daughter was mad at him for accidentally drying her favorite sweater on high heat and ruining it.
Billionaires, they’re just like us. Sort of. It’s surprising to me how much of an average guy Olivier is for the most part. He does his own laundry and picks up his own carryout orders.
Little things pop up and remind me he’s wealthy, though, like when I asked him how he’s able to schedule so many meetings all over the city in one day and he revealed that he owns a helicopter.
“Things are good with you guys, though?” Julia asks me.
I look around to make sure no one else is in earshot before answering. “Yeah, but we’re not in a relationship or anything.”
“You don’t want to see anyone else, though, right?”
I shrug. “I don’t want to see anyone, period.”
“But you’re happy with him, and I don’t want to see you fuck this up because of your stupid ideas about timing.”
“Jules, I’m not with him, so how can I be happy with him? We went out a couple of times, and it was fun.”
“And you have plans to go out again, right?”
I shrug again. “He’s asked, but we haven’t been able to line up our schedules. He’s pretty busy with his daughter.”
My sister studies me, obviously having thoughts but not saying what they are.
“What?” I ask her.
“I love you, but your attitude is bullshit. You’re for
tune telling.”
I roll my eyes. “Don’t start your psychology crap with me, Jules. Not today. I’m already in the lion’s den.”
Julia got a psychology degree, but then married Andrew right after college and decided to stay at home with their kids rather than work. So she uses her education and training to psychoanalyze the people around her.
“You need to hear this, Daph. Because of letdowns in the past with men, you assume things with Olivier will fail. When one reason doesn’t work, you just come up with another. He’s too rich, you’re on the rebound, too many people are watching you guys. But so what?”
“Aunt Daph!” my nephew Tate cries, running up and hugging me around the legs.
“Hey big guy.” I bend down to hug him. “You want to play trucks?”
“Not yet,” Julia interjects. “Tate, please take Aunt Daph’s present for your brother and put it on the dining table. She can play when we’re finished talking.”
I give Julia the stink-eye stare. “You’re not my mom. I think I get to decide when I can play.”
“Stop acting like a child.” She crosses her arms and gives me her best stern mom look.
With a sigh, I hand my nephew the present I brought.
“Fine,” I say. “But let’s at least get a drink while we talk.”
We take a couple glasses of wine and retreat to our dad’s office, which is blissfully empty and silent.
“The sex was amazing, though, right?” Julia asks.
“Jules,” I scold, my eyes bulging. “I can’t talk about that in Dad’s office.”
“He’s not here, so who cares?”
“It feels weird. And yes, you know it was amazing because we already talked about it. Let’s move on.”
“He’s good in bed, hot, smart, financially secure, thoughtful…I can’t think of a single good reason for you guys not to be together.”
“Why am I not allowed to not be ready?” I throw my hands in the air, frustrated. “Or to not want to be in a relationship? I know being married with kids makes you happy, and that’s great. But I’m not sure I want that.”
“Since when? You wanted it when you were with Aiden.”
I walk over to a bookcase and pick up a photo of me and my sisters when we were kids, studying it as I try to figure out the answer to Julia’s question.
“I don’t know,” I say softly. “I guess Aiden felt…more like me. And Olivier is one of the richest people in the world. He has offices in New York and Chicago. His mom lives in Italy. What if he decides to move away when Giselle goes off to college? What if he doesn’t want more kids?”
“Have you asked him about those things?”
I shake my head. “This thing with him…it’s different than anything I’ve ever felt. He’s damn near perfect. You know that woman we found living in her car with her kids that I told you about?”
“Yeah.”
“He got them an apartment. Paid their rent for a year. Had a bunch of groceries and furniture delivered. And he gave Jada a job at his company on the cleaning staff. He changed their lives. And all that stuff I just told you he did? He didn’t even tell me about it. Jada told me when I called her to see if I can help get her kids enrolled in school.”
“That sounds like your dream man, Daph.”
“He is,” I admit. “In most every way, he is. But I’m not using his wealth as an excuse; it really does bother me.”
“He can’t help that he’s successful. And it sounds like he’s generous with his money.”
I exhale and sit down on a leather sofa. “I don’t want a life where I have to wear thousand-dollar gowns to events and decide whether we should take the yacht or the jet for our vacation. You’re one of the only people who really knows how strongly I feel about it.”
“I get it, Daph. I really do. Andrew and I could hire help, but I’ve never wanted to. We grew up with parents who weren’t around much. It was always nannies and housekeepers and cooks playing with us and helping with our homework. I don’t want that life for my boys.”
“You’re an amazing mom. If I ever get to be a mom, I want to be just like you.”
Julia looks down at Dad’s desk and then back up, tears welling in her eyes. “Thanks, Daph.”
“Do I not tell you that enough? Do I not compliment you enough in general? Because that’s another thing our parents never did that I wish they had.”
“Me too. Mom is critical of the way I parent my boys, and it’s a sensitive subject for me.”
“Critical?” I lower my brows in confusion. “I can’t think of one single thing to be critical of, and she of all people has no right, Jules.”
“She just…tells me I need to be more than just a mother. Contribute to the world somehow, like by volunteering or being on the school board.”
“Fuck her. Why does that shit get to you when she’s not a good mom herself?”
Julia blinks and quickly wipes away the tears that fall down her cheeks. “Let’s not talk about her anymore. I really think you need to give Olivier a chance. You said he’s completely different from Aiden, but that’s probably a good thing since Aiden’s a gaping, sore-infested asshole.”
“And yet I was about to marry him,” I say bitterly. “If I hadn’t caught his side piece in our bed with him on accident, I might have still married him. That’s how bad my judgment is.”
Julia waves a hand dismissively. “He had everyone fooled. And none of that is on you; it’s on him. Don’t make Olivier pay for Aiden’s mistakes.”
I meet my sister’s eyes, grateful there’s someone in this world who knows me as well, and sometimes even better, than I know myself.
“There are times when I’m with Olivier and…I can hardly even breathe,” I admit. “I don’t just like him, I feel connected to him. Sometimes I lie in bed at night and I think—I mean, Jules, I seriously think—that when he saved my life that day, it bound us together in a way. And after Aiden, I planned on being a smart, savvy woman who never fell hard for any man again.” I shake my head and look away, my emotions threatening to spill over. “And now, fate throws this perfect man in my lap. I should be thrilled, right? But instead, I’m terrified.”
A few seconds of silence pass as I realize what I just said. Every word was true, but I haven’t really thought about it in the way I just vocalized it. Is the real issue with Olivier that I’m scared of what I feel?
“I think we just made good progress,” Julia says, looking smug. “Now what are we going to do about it?”
“We?”
“Okay, you. What are you going to do about it?”
I sit back on the sofa, feeling drained.
“I don’t know. I guess I have to decide how much the fear means to me. Whether I’m willing to risk getting hurt.”
“Look, you don’t have to lay everything on the table with Olivier. It’s okay to still move slowly. Just don’t shut him out, that’s all I’m saying.”
Someone pounds on the closed office door, and Julia says, “Who is it?”
“What are you doing in there? Is Daphne with you? Tell her I want to talk to her.”
Ugh, my mother. I roll my eyes and shake my head no.
“We’ll be out soon,” Julia says.
“Well, you should be. This is your son’s birthday party after all.”
I look at my sister and whisper, “She’s a delight.”
“Mother of the fucking year,” Julia whispers back.
“What?” our mom cries. “Did one of you just say something?”
“Nope!” Julia says. “We’ll be out soon.”
Grumbling, our mother walks away.
“And you wonder why I’m so fucked up,” I say to my sister.
“Actually, I don’t wonder. Not even a little bit.”
She raises her wine glass and I pick mine up, too. We toast each other before I toss back the last of my wine. I already know I’ll need several refills to get through this afternoon.
Chapter Sixteen
&n
bsp; Olivier
“Your usual, Mr. Durand?”
I look up from my seat in the owner’s box at the Carson Center, the server’s voice pulling me out of my train of thought about Daphne.
“Yes, thanks,” I say.
Usually, I ask any Carson Center staffer I encounter how they’re doing, and I check in on how their families are doing, too. But tonight, I’m distracted. I’m not even doing a good job of entertaining my guests, an attorney from my New York office and her husband, who flew in to be here.
Jill and Brian seem to be doing a good job of entertaining themselves—they’re walking back into the owner’s suite with big smiles, bags of merchandise in one hand and drinks in the other.
“Guys, I would have comped anything you wanted from the store,” I say, standing up.
“You already flew us in on the company plane and took us to an amazing dinner,” Jill says. “We just wanted to pick up a few things for our kids.”
“This place beats the hell out of that shitty New York team’s setup, right?” I joke.
Brian’s a huge New York sports fan. He gives me a look like he’s about to argue, and Jill steps in to mediate.
“I think both teams have lovely arenas. I will say, though, that this margarita is one of the best I’ve ever had.”
I point at her and grin at Brian. “This is why I have her running my legal department. She could talk her way out of anything.”
“Don’t I know it,” Brian says, putting an arm around her.
“Giselle’s not coming?” Jill asks, looking at the empty chair next to me.
“Nah, she’s way too cool for her boring old dad,” I say.
“We completely understand that. Our kids feel the same way about us.” Jill sits down in her seat and Brian sits down next to her. “Well, tell her we said hello.”
“I will.”
“I was hoping we’d get to meet your new girlfriend while we were here,” Jill says.
The server brings my drink, and a welcome distraction from Jill’s mention of Daphne.
“Anything else I can get you, Mr. Durand?” the server asks.
Olivier: A Chicago Blaze Hockey Romance Page 10