by Melissa Haag
Hating that I was being dismissed like some child, I left the room with Elbner. After the door closed, I looked at the goblin and lifted my fingers to my lips. He remained quiet as I set my ear to the door.
“I believe some groveling is necessary,” Mom said.
“If you feel it necessary, you may,” Adira said.
There was a tense minute of silence where I hoped Mom was strangling Adira.
“Why do you think I am the one who needs to grovel?” Mom asked, disappointing me.
“Because you’ve been given a chance to spend time with your daughter. A daughter who requested you remain far from here. We made that possible,” Adira said.
Mom laughed.
“You’re trying to spin this like it was all for my benefit?”
“Haven’t you benefited? Not only have you had time with your daughter, but we’ve made sure to provide you with everything else you needed. You’ve wanted for nothing.”
“And what is it you want in return for this magnanimousness?”
“We’re worried about Eliana. Despite all of our efforts, she’s not hunting for her own meals. And when she does feed, she isn’t taking enough to survive.”
I wrinkled my nose. They were acting like I was on death’s door when, in reality, I was walking around as well as could be.
“Yes. You’ve mentioned this already,” Mom said.
“Since you’ve come, we’re seeing more resistance from her. More life. More energy. We think your presence is good for her.”
I almost snorted.
“Are you asking me to stay?” Mom asked.
“We are willing to invite you to extend your stay based on a few conditions.”
“Oh? And what might those conditions be?”
“No feeding on anyone beyond the people we provide.”
“And if you stop providing me enough?”
“You’re welcome to leave, but you should know your re-entry to Uttira will be barred once you leave. And I'm well aware you're overeating. While I understand why you’re doing it, my concern right now is the child you already have and what starving her during your pregnancy did to her.”
A sick feeling settled in my stomach as I understood what Adira was saying. Mom had only fed on Dad during her pregnancy with me. She’d mentioned it during one of our many conversations. Given how mom was feeding now, I wondered how unhealthy that had been for her.
“I did not starve her or myself. Don't judge what you don't understand.”
I could hear the threat in my mother's voice.
“I'll stay. Whether under your terms or my own will depend on your interference, Adira. I suggest you leave my daughter to me.”
Backing away from the door, I hurried down the hall.
“Some secrets are best left unheard,” Elbner said softly beside me.
I couldn't have agreed more.
After dropping him off at Megan's, I drove aimlessly for a bit and ended up parking in front of Ashlyn's house. She must have seen my car because she opened the door as I walked up the sidewalk.
“That looks like an I-need-chocolate-and-a-friend face.”
“It is. Do you have a few minutes?”
“I have loads of them. Come in.”
She took my jacket and led me to the kitchen. While she dished up some dessert, I talked.
“Piepen’s gone. I handed him over to a good family this morning, thanks to Fenris.”
“That's great news, right?”
“It is. So is my mom's name being cleared for the troll murders in New York.”
“I sense a ‘but’ coming.”
“Adira asked Mom to stay because they still think something's wrong with me.” I lifted my arms. “Do I look more sickly since the last time you saw me?”
She considered me for a moment.
“No. You actually look a little better. More mad, but less pale. It might be related,” she said with a small smile.
I returned it, appreciating her effort to cheer me up. If only a smile would fix everything.
“Do you think your mom's going to stay?” Ashlyn asked. “I mean, she left you here once because you wanted her to.”
“I don't know. She is pretty excited to be here.”
I thought of all the times she'd stood up to Adira for me. How protective she was. How supportive. Would she walk away from that? She didn’t love me any more or less than she had when she’d left me the first time. She might leave if I asked her to, but I wasn’t naïve enough to think things would go back to the way they were. Despite Mrs. Quill’s offer to feed me, I knew Adira wouldn’t allow that long term. I needed a way to deal with both Adira and Mom.
Sitting back in the chair, I sighed.
“It all comes down to their belief that something is wrong with me because I’m not behaving like all the other succubi my age. To reassure them that I’m fine, they want me to start feeding. Which I won’t do. Not the way they want me to do it.”
What if there was another way to reassure them? What if I proved I’m healthy? But how? If I were a human, it would be as easy as bringing me to a doctor.
I grinned and stood.
“Thanks for giving me a quick place to think. I’ll text you with how everything turns out.”
I was out the door before she moved.
Back at the Quills’, I raced upstairs and knocked on Mom’s door. The moaning and music inside continued uninterrupted as the door opened. Mom stood there in her typical robe. When she saw it was me, she smiled.
“Baby, I was hoping I’d see you soon.”
“Can I come in and talk to you?”
“Of course,” she said, sounding surprised.
She stepped aside, and I strode in, ignoring the four people in Oanen’s bed and the couple on his couch. Although the sight made me uncomfortable, the lust clogging the air didn’t bother me much.
I turned to face Mom.
“I was at the office door when they tried to bargain with you,” I said without preamble.
“Oh? And what do you think of me staying?”
“I love you. Having you here makes me feel protected in some ways. Threatened in others.” I gestured at the people behind me. “I don’t want this in my life.”
“What exactly don’t you want? The food?”
“No, Mom. I know I need to eat. I don’t want to coerce anyone or to have anyone suffer the mindless adulation that comes after I feed. I lived with the aftermath for twelve years. I will not do to anyone what was done to my dad. I love him too much to allow that to happen.
“My fear is that, if you lived here, I’d eventually make love slaves out of people and hate myself for it. I want you to be in my life, Mom, but it needs to be with a mutual understanding.”
“What understanding is that?”
“That I’m fine and healthy just the way I am.”
“I don’t think you are, though.”
“I know. Which is why I’m proposing you have me checked out. If a human doctor isn’t good enough, then have Raiden sniff me. Whatever it takes. If I get a clean bill of health, you help get Adira off my back; and you can live in Uttira as long as you want.”
Mom studied me, the pity in her gaze growing by the second.
“Baby, I knew the moment you walked into the dining room that something wasn’t right. I didn’t need Adira or Anwen’s stories to tell me what it was, either. You’re fading away. No human doctor will be able to verify that. Raiden would, but I wouldn’t put you through that humiliation.” She took my hand and gave it a squeeze. “I’m staying. On my own terms, not theirs. And I’ll help you figure this out. Now that I know why you’re not feeding like you should, we’ll work through it.”
“Work through it?”
“Yes. I know you don’t like what I did to your father. I’ve avoided him because you asked me to. If you could see how he is when he’s with me, you’d change your mind. He’s happy when he’s with me. Feeding me. It gives him purpose.”
I pul
led my hands from hers, disbelieving what I was hearing. She thought he was better when he was under her thrall? Had she listened to nothing I’d said?
“Dad had a purpose before you came into his life.”
“Teaching others about his god isn’t a purpose, baby. It’s an occupation.”
“Ugh! Can you even hear yourself?” I shook my head. “You stole Dad’s life. I’m not letting you steal mine. I get to choose how to live it.”
“And as your mother, I get to choose to save it.”
“I want you to leave,” I said angrily.
“You want me to leave? Hop in that bed and show me you can feed. Better yet, lose the virginity you’re clinging to. Your innocence isn’t helping you. It’s corrupting your thinking. Do that, and I’ll leave.”
I stared at her for a minute then walked out of the room before I did or said something I might regret later. My anger blinded me. How could she be so unreasonable? So unrealistic?
“There you are,” Adira said, coming up the stairs. “I have some good news.”
“Not now, she-devil,” I snapped. “You can ruin my life some more tomorrow. I’ve hit my quota for the day.”
I was down the stairs and in the kitchen before what I’d said even registered. There would be repercussions for my disrespect, but I found I really didn’t care. There were repercussions even when I tried to follow the rules.
In my car, I texted Ashlyn.
I need a place to cool off. Can I come over?
Adira sent me to the Roost. Sorry.
I tossed my phone to the seat and tore out of the garage, sliding on the slush. If Adira thought sending Ashlyn to the Roost would keep me home with my mom, she had another thing coming.
Reaching the Roost in record time, I got out of the car and slammed the door. The music thumping in the air did nothing to soothe me. I pushed my way through the doors and scanned the thin crowd.
“Someone’s looking hot and tempting,” a boy said.
I turned my dark gaze on him.
“I suggest you run away, boy, or fall now to tremble at my feet. I am the destroyer of men.”
The boy paled and ran out the door. The rest of the dancers moved to the far side of the room. I turned away from them and looked for Ashlyn. She sat in her usual spot in the back row of booths, looking down at a book.
I stalked across the room and slid into the bench across from her. For the first minute, I focused on calming my breathing then on my vision. Through it all, Ashlyn remained quietly focused on her book. A book she was actually reading and not just holding as a decoy. I realized it was one I’d never seen her with before.
“Is that new?” I asked.
“Yep. Adira used it to bribe me here. You okay?”
I sighed.
“Not really. I just argued with my mom and called Adira a she-devil.”
Ashlyn snorted.
“I don’t imagine that went over well.”
“I didn’t stick around to find out. My mom’s staying, Ashlyn. She won’t leave until I have sex with someone and feed.”
“Uh…”
“Don’t worry, I’m not here looking for volunteers. I’m here looking for ideas.”
“Ideas?”
“Yeah. Ways to get rid of my mom that don’t involve having sex with someone.”
My bench seat shifted under me, and someone peered over the booth’s divider.
“We can maybe help with that,” a girl said.
I recognized her from the bathroom at Girderon and from the other night in the Roost. She was one of the three druid girls. The one with all the jewelry.
“How?” I asked.
“A transference spell. It’s like a portal, but only one way.”
She had my attention.
“Is it dangerous?” I asked.
“No. The spell and the portal can’t kill anyone. Worst case, the person ends up a little off course.”
“Could you send my mom outside the barrier?”
“If she has her mark, sure. But her mark also means she can get back in.”
I slowly smiled, remembering Adira’s warning to my mom. My mom had her mark, but the Council would be keeping her out of Uttira with a different spell now.
“Don’t worry about that,” I said. “All we need to do is get her outside the barrier.”
The druid nodded, sending her dangling crystal earring swinging.
“We’ll need to gather some things to do the spell.”
“How long will it take?”
“We can have everything ready tonight. We’ll need a place we can do the spell in private, though.”
Two more heads popped over the divider.
“Not my house,” the druid with the thick hair said.
“Mine, neither,” the one with the glitter makeup said. “My brother’s home, and he’ll tell.”
I glanced at Ashlyn.
“We can’t use her house,” earring girl said. “It’s warded against spells. But, we can meet early at the Academy and use the pool bathroom. The spell won’t take long.”
“And what do you want in return?” I asked, knowing nothing was ever done for free.
“If we get caught, you take the full fall,” glitter eyes said.
“And you owe us a future favor, collectively,” thick hair said.
“Eliana,” Ashlyn said. “This isn’t a good idea.”
I exhaled slowly. I knew it wasn’t a good idea. I knew we’d probably get caught. But everyone was saying I was too small, fading, as if I was too weak. Maybe doing something this drastic would show I wasn’t. At the very least, it would help Mom understand how serious I was about not feeding or having sex.
“No one gets hurt, and Mom is safely removed from Uttira,” I reiterated. “If you can do that, I’ll be your fall girl, if needed, and owe you a favor, collectively.”
The bejeweled girl grinned.
“See you in the morning, succubus.”
The trio left their booth and joined the dancers. As I watched, several of the dancers shook their heads and wandered off.
“They’re making anyone who overheard forget the conversation,” Ashlyn said. “You shouldn’t trust them.”
“If druids were powerful enough to hurt my species, I doubt my mom would still be alive. Their magic is limited. Just like we have limits. I’m sure it’ll be fine.”
Ashlyn looked doubtful.
“How long do you have to stay here?” I asked.
“Four hours.”
I settled in for a long wait and listened to the music. The dance floor gradually filled up, and a familiar group walked in the doors.
This time, it was Jenna who had her arm around Fenris’s waist while he was laughing and talking to the others. Then he stopped, and his gaze immediately found mine from across the room.
Why did that make my pulse leap? I checked my hunger, but it felt lazy and sated.
Fenris untangled himself from Jenna and started toward me. When he reached the table, he didn’t say anything. He just opened his arms and grinned.
I stared at him for a second then realized what he wanted.
A dumb hug.
Sighing, I got out of the booth. No matter how much my brain said it was no big deal, my insides went crazy as I stepped into his embrace. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close.
“One-sided doesn’t count,” he murmured against the top of my head.
I slid my arms around his waist and tried not to feel how his hips pressed against me. Then I breathed in and tried not to bury my nose in his shirt. He smelled so good it was a struggle not to drool.
“You’re important, and you have friends, Eliana. Say it.”
I tipped my head up and wrinkled my nose at him. He chuckled.
“Say it.”
“I’m important and have friends.”
“And you don’t hate your life,” he said.
“And I don’t hate my life as much as I did yesterday,” I said, ad-libbing.
He grinned, gave me an extra squeeze, and released me.
I glanced at his girls, who were just behind him. Jenna didn’t look mad. Maybe a little sad, but not angry.
“Sorry you’re having a hard time,” she said.
“Thanks.”
“Want to dance with us?” Fenris asked.
“No. But thanks for the offer.”
They left me with Ashlyn, who glanced up from her book as I resumed my seat.
“Did you just grab his ass?”
“What? No.” I paused, doubting myself. “Did I?” He had smelled distractingly amazing.
She laughed.
“Don’t ever change,” she said. “You do reluctant succubus too well.”
I rolled my eyes at her and turned to watch the dancers. Or, more accurately, Fenris’s butt. Ashlyn had planted a seed, and try as I might to look away, I couldn’t.
The double doors opened, and Eras and his gang walked in. His eyes immediately went black, and he inhaled deeply. He turned his head to his friends and said something that had them scattering throughout the room. One of them was slowly making his way to our table when Fenris stepped away from the dancers and spoke to him. Whatever he said had them both looking at me. The guy nodded and walked away.
No one else tried to approach us, so I stayed and listened to the music until the Roost closed. As did Ashlyn and Fenris’s group.
“Want to keep the party going?” Fenris asked. “We’re going to the hot spring caves. A good soak would fix whatever troubles you.”
“It’s the most relaxing thing ever,” Jenna said.
“Especially without Aubrey,” one of the other girls added.
“Could I go? Without dying some horrible death?” Ashlyn asked before I could decline.
Fenris grinned at her.
“I’ll make sure you don’t die any type of death if you come with.”
The rest of the group looked at me. I trusted them not to do anything to Ashlyn. But I could see from the look in her eyes that she wouldn’t go if I didn’t. Yet, I knew what tagging along would entail. A lot of tempting nudity. Though my hunger was quiet now, would it stay quiet?
“I don’t know,” I hedged.
“Do you really want to go home?” Fenris asked.
We both knew what waited for me there.
“Not really. Fine, I’ll tag along.”