“I should go,” I say regretfully.
“Talk to me,” she demands, sounding much more put together than I am right now.
Silent seconds tick by as I try to form the words I need to say, but all of them fail me. Being here right now just feels so… right.
I’m not a cuddler after sex.
Well, once I was, but that’s a time in my life I refuse to revisit, especially right now.
“I shouldn’t be here,” I admit eventually.
“But you are. Morals didn’t seem to stop you earlier.”
“Yeah, well. They should have.”
She shrugs in my arms. “Do you hear me complaining?” She wiggles her arse against me, my cock standing to attention at the movement.
“Oh, I heard plenty of moaning, little girl.” My lips press against her shoulder and she moans lightly.
She chuckles, the sound making my chest swell.
“I know you keep saying it but… are you really okay? Some of your bruises look pretty painful.”
“I’m used to pain, Spike. This is nothing unusual for where I’m from.”
I tense, the thought of this happening often making me want to go and hurt someone. “That’s bullshit,” I spit.
“It is what it is.” She sighs.
“Why did it happen? I know you owe him money, but what for?” I ask, it’s been eating at me since discovering that motherfucker with his hands on her, but I didn’t want to push her for an answer she wasn’t willing to give up. Well, things have changed now she’s naked in my arms. It’s time for a few home truths to come out.
“He’s a dealer.”
“I guessed as much. But you’re not a druggie, so why?”
“Mum.” She falls silent for long seconds, and I start to think that’s all she’s going to say when she eventually speaks again. “She was a mess. I hardly remember a time where she wasn’t dependant on either drugs or alcohol. She always made these crazy promises to me. She was going to get clean, we were going to move to the country, she was going to get a good job, and we’d never worry about money again.
“When I was little, I fell for it. But as the years went on, she broke every single promise again and again, I started to realise it was all bullshit. That was our life, and the only one who was going to get me out of it was me.”
“I’m so—”
“Don’t,” she snaps. “I don’t want your pity.”
I refrain from telling her that I’m not pitying her. I don’t think she’d believe me if I did, anyway.
After another long stretch of silence, she begins speaking again.
“She’d pissed off more than a few dealers before she got tangled up with Jet. She had a bad reputation, but he still decided to give her what she needed. He knew he could get payment in other forms, and she was mostly more than willing to do whatever was needed. But then she was gone, and her debt was left unpaid. It fell to me. It took Jet less than a week after she died to send one of his goons after me, demanding money or… other services. Thankfully, I managed to make an agreement that would allow me a little time. Only, it seems that Jet got bored of waiting, because he’s calling it in early.”
“How much?”
She shakes her head, not willing to tell me.
“Kas,” I warn. “How. Much?”
“Thousands,” she says on a sigh. “Even with the job at the club, I was never going to pay him back. Not for years, anyway. But now… I’ve got no chance. I may as well let him do his worst and just hope I come out the other end alive.”
“No,” I bark. “We’ll sort it.”
“This isn’t your issue, Spike. I’m not a charity case.”
“Just let me help,” I say, dropping my lips to her bare shoulder once more. “You can pay me back. It can be a loan.”
“Not happening.”
“Then you leave me no choice.” Flipping her on to her back, I pin her hands above her head and stare down into her blue eyes. “I’ll tell Zach everything, whether you like it or not.”
“No, Spike.” She wiggles beneath me, but her strength is no match for mine.
I continue to hold her stare so she can see the strength behind my next words.
“Tonight, we take whatever we need. But tomorrow, everything changes. We put this behind us, we talk to Zach, and we allow you to restart your life.”
“And what if I don’t want that?”
“You have no choice. I should have done the right thing from the beginning, but it seems I was incapable of denying you.”
“And wasn’t it worth it?”
My teeth grind with my need to tell her that it was. That tonight has barely scratched the surface for me. But I know it can’t happen again. Well, not after tonight.
I’ve got to do the right thing… tomorrow.
“Spike,” she cries as I drop my head and suck her nipple into my mouth.
“Get your fill, little girl. You’ve got until the sun comes up.”
I’ve no idea what time we finally fall into her bed and drag the covers over our bodies. All I do know is that I feel like a damn teenager again. Every inch of her body is imprinted into my memory. I’m not sure if it’s a good thing or not, because I fully intend to see through my warning. The second I step from this bed, whatever was between us tonight is over.
I’ve already betrayed Zach. I won’t do it again. I might not be all that choosy when it comes to women, but friends’ sisters and exes have always been no-go.
Until now.
Until her.
Fuck.
Kas almost instantly falls asleep. My body is willing me to do the same, but my head spins with all the mistakes I’ve made over the past few days.
I lie there, tracing one of the tattoos on her arms. It’s rough, clearly done by an amateur, and it really needs redoing, but I already know that I can’t be the one to do it. Getting her on my chair would be just one more mistake to add to all the others.
I have no idea how long I stay there, telling myself that I need to move and put an end to the night before, but when I do finally make it to the door, the sun has long risen.
My eyes run over her sleeping form. The sheets expose her back, and the sight of Zach’s artwork is the last reminder I need of why I’m doing the right thing.
Pulling her door shut behind me, I make my quick walk of shame back to my bedroom, via the bathroom to shower her scent from my body.
Eventually my exhaustion drags me into slumber, and the next time I wake, it’s to a pounding on the front door.
Not hearing any movement from Kas’ room, I climb out of bed and pull on a pair of boxers.
The house is still silent as I make my way to the front door, so I can only assume she’s still passed out.
Without looking through the peephole, I pull the door open to find a concerned looking Zach on the other side.
“What fucking time is it?” I grunt, seeing him totally put together while I feel like I’ve just been dragged out of bed by my little toe.
“Almost eleven. Busy night?” he asks, looking around me—I’m assuming expecting to find a half-naked woman waiting for me to come back to bed.
The reality of the situation makes my stomach drop.
“Um… something like that.” Lifting my hand, I run my fingers through my hair in an attempt to brush out the freshly fucked look that I can only assume I’m rocking. “Is… uh… everything okay?” I ask, my brows pulling together.
It’s not all that unusual for him to turn up unannounced, but combined with the look on his face and I’m on full alert.
“I don’t know, you tell me. You sounded weird on the phone yesterday, so I…” His words trail off as a door opens behind me.
13
Kas
I know exactly what I’m going to find when I wake up and look at the other side of the bed, but that doesn’t stop the rejection setting in when I see that it’s empty.
Last night was… I blow out a long breath. Amazing.
I wanted a bit of fun with someone I was confident could do the job right, but what I got was so much more than that. It was everything I needed, and it made me want things I have no right in wanting.
I want more.
I want him.
“Shit,” I mutter, shoving my face into the pillow. I instantly regret it because it smells of him. It’s bad enough that he’s all I can think about, that his touch is all I can feel, his dirty words are all I can hear. Now his scent surrounds me too.
I lie there, staring at the ceiling, when a knock sounds out through the flat.
My eyes go to the door, but I make no effort to move. This is his flat after all, I’ve no place opening his door and inviting people inside.
When his footsteps eventually plod down the hallway, I sit on the edge of the bed, my feet landing beside his discarded shirt.
Reaching out, I pull it up to my nose and breathe him in. I know it’s a mistake the second I do it, but much like the man himself, I’m powerless to resist.
Every part of my body aches as I stand and pull it over my head. I’ve no idea where the pain from my beating starts and the side effects of a delicious workout end.
Deep male voices ring out, and I run my fingers through my messed-up hair and pull the door open.
I don’t even think about who it could be, and the second I step out of the door, I feel instantly stupid for not even considering this as a possibility.
My eyes lock on to Zach’s the moment I appear. His chin drops, cutting off whatever he was saying mid-sentence before his eyes harden and his entire body tenses.
“You motherfucker,” he roars, and before I can react, he’s pulled his arm back and his fist is flying at Spike.
“Zach, no,” I cry, racing forward, but it’s too late.
Zach’s knuckles connect with Spike’s jaw, and he goes stumbling back until he collides with the wall.
Not content on just hitting his friend once, Zach growls and races toward him.
He takes another shot. The crunch of Spike’s nose fills the flat before blood spurts out of it.
“Zach, that’s enough,” I cry. “It’s not what it looks like.” Okay, so that’s a total lie and this is exactly what it looks like, but it’s all I can think to say.
Zach ignores me, instead focusing his efforts on Spike’s ribs until he’s doubled over in pain.
At no point does he fight back. I know the reason why, but damn it, I wish he’d help put an end to this.
“Zach,” I scream when he pulls his arm back once more. I fly at him, wrapping my hands around his arm in the hope of stopping him.
The second I touch him, he relaxes.
“Stop, please,” I beg, quieter than before.
Assuming it’s over, Spike slides down the wall, hunched over in pain as blood continues to pour from his nose.
Zach’s angry stare turns on me. I swallow nervously. I’ve only connected with him recently. I have no idea what his temper is like or how he handles situations like this, and I’ve been in one too many where the guy is a fucking cunt who takes it out on anyone in the vicinity.
“Tell me he didn’t do this to you.” He points at my lip, and it’s the first time I realise just how bad this looks.
“What? No. He would never. Fuck, Zach.”
“Then why are you here?” I blow out a breath and look up to the ceiling. “If you fucking tell me you’re a couple then I’m gonna—”
“No, no. We’re not. He’s just been helping me out.”
Zach’s eyes run down my barely-clad body before turning on his friend, who’s still on the floor in just his boxers. Feeling his stare, Spike lifts his head up and I get my first taste of how he felt when he saw me last night.
Zach might be my brother, but right now I want to hurt him.
“Sit on the sofa, Zach. And don’t fucking move. I’m going to sort him out.”
Zach’s lips purse, clearly not impressed with what I’m suggesting, but he can go suck it.
“It’s either that or you leave,” I spit, taking a step closer to him. I don’t for a second think it’s threatening in any way—I just hope it shows I’m serious.
His eyes narrow at me before he nods. “Then you’d better start talking. Both of you.”
I watch as he backs away from me and falls down onto the sofa. I can’t help but smirk when he lifts his hand, inspects his knuckles, and flexes his fingers.
“I really hope that hurts.”
He cuts me a look that I’m sure would have others quaking in their boots. I guess it’s a good thing that I’m not most people and my big brother doesn’t scare me one bit.
Without missing a beat, I run for the bathroom to find the stash of first aid stuff Spike keeps in the cupboard.
I return to a very tense living room a few seconds later, and after collecting a bowl of warm water, I set about doing the same thing for Spike as he did for me last night. Sadly, though, we both already know it’s not going to end in the same way with Zach’s stare burning into us.
“Spike,” I whisper once I’ve crouched down beside him, “look at me.”
He keeps his face away like a petulant child.
“Don’t be a prick, let me clean you up.”
“I deserved it,” he says so quietly that only I will hear it.
“Bullshit. Now, do as you’re told.”
After blowing out a long breath, he lifts his head, rests it back against the wall, and his eyes find mine.
My breath catches at the pain and regret in them.
There’s so much I want to say to him, to reassure him, but while we’ve got an audience, I think bringing anything up from last night would be an epic mistake.
Silently, I clean him up while the tension hangs heavy in the room. We don’t lose Zach’s attention, my skin tingles with his stare the entire time I’m on the floor with Spike. I’m not sure what he’s expecting us to do, but his warning is more than clear.
After picking everything up, I take it all to the kitchen.
“I’m assuming you’d like a coffee?” I ask Zach. “Not that you deserve it,” I mutter, but it’s nowhere near quiet enough for him to miss it.
“Please.”
I don’t bother asking Spike—we all know he needs one right now.
As I put the first mug under the machine, I watch as Spike hauls himself from the floor, and, clutching at his ribs, he moves over to the sofa.
Nothing is said between the two friends. I know Spike is waiting for me to do all the explaining, and although I understand why, I kinda wish he’d just do it for me.
All too soon there are three coffees on the table, and I’m sitting before Zach, who’s not so patiently waiting for some answers.
“So…”
This is exactly what I wanted to avoid. I didn’t want to drag anyone else into this bullshit with Jet, because I know for a fact that he won’t think twice about using others to get to me. The last thing I need is for him to hurt the only remaining family I have.
“Mum was in some trouble.” Spike scoffs behind me, but I ignore him. “You know she was an addict, that’s no secret. She got involved with some shady dealer when all the others cut her off. She racked up a shit ton of debt with him with no way to pay. Well, long story short, she died, and I inherited her debt and the shady dealer.”
“Right…” The vein in Zach’s forehead pulsates with frustration as I talk. If the situation weren’t so dire, I might laugh at it.
“So, I needed to earn good money, and fast—”
“If you fucking tell me that you’re a hooker and that motherfucker has paid for you, I’ll lose my—”
“Calm the fuck down, man. You know I don’t pay for it.”
Zach’s face turns damn near purple at Spike’s words. I don’t think they had quite the effect he was hoping for.
“I got a job as a dancer at Pulse.” Zach’s mouth opens to say something, but I cut him off. “It’s not the first time I’ve done it, and no one forc
ed me, if that’s what you're thinking. Anyway, I’d been there a few weeks, was starting to build up a little cash, and then this motherfucker turns up on a night off and drags me off the fucking stage.”
“What?” Zach barks.
“What? I wasn’t going to let her stay up there and have all those arsehole guys staring at her like that.”
Zach nods at his friend before turning back to me
“Go on,” he encourages.
I tell him all about Jet waiting for me and how Spike and Titch saved me, before I explain the house share I was living in.
“It wasn’t a house share. It was a fucking squat, Kas,” Spike complains. “There was no way I was leaving you there.”
“It had done me fine for the previous few years. You might not like it, but I can look after myself, you know.”
Zach sags back on the sofa, and Spike and I continue bickering.
“Shut up,” he barks eventually. “You’re like an old married couple.”
We both halt and turn to him.
“Oh no, no. That’s not what this is.” Spike tries arguing while Zach drills him with a death stare.
“I might be more relieved to hear that if I didn’t turn up to find you both looking like this.” He gestures between the two of us.
“I can explain,” Spike starts.
Zach raises a brow and sips on his coffee.
“I told her to stay put, but your sister doesn’t do as she’s fucking told, so she went out, got accosted by the arsehole who’s after her, and turned back up here looking like that.”
“Wearing your shirt?” Zach asks.
“Well, no, but—”
“I borrowed it to sleep in. It’s nothing, Zach,” I add in the hope that I can dig Spike out of the shit.
I’m not stupid, I knew last night when he told me that everything would change today, he meant it.
“You expect me to believe that?” Zach asks, his eyes trained on Spike.
He shrugs. “Believe what you want. I was trying to help.” We both watch as he pushes from the chair and leaves the room. The sound of his door slamming shut vibrates through the flat before it falls silent once more.
Defy You: A Brother's Best Friend/Age Gap Romance (Rebel Ink Book 3) Page 11