by Rebel Hart
I looked over in the direction of the hallway, which would lead to the staircase to the second floor. “I’m really dreading that.”
“You should be,” my father said. “He’s heartbroken.”
2
Cherri
There was loud, rock music playing from Gus’s room, and I couldn’t help but laugh. It seemed we dealt with our problems in a similar way—if there are longer things around us, we can’t be left alone with our thoughts. I attempted to knock, but it didn’t even sound like there was any shifting inside, so I grabbed the handle and opened the door.
His room still looked mostly the same, and the kid himself was sitting in his haptic gaming chair, staring up at his large 50” television screen, playing a video game. His head sat a little higher against the back of the chair than the last time I’d seen him. Even in just the six months since I’d seen him last, he’d grown at least an inch. He was only nine, but it felt like time was flying by.
I was mad at myself for missing so much.
“I’m not hungry, mom,” Gus called without even looking back. “Dad brought me a breakfast sandwich this morning. I ate most of it, I swear.”
Skipping meals too? This kid was a chip off the ol’ block.
“I know from experience that not eating when you’re sad is bad for you,” I said.
Gus’ head flipped backwards in my direction and his eyes got a little wider. “Cherri.”
“Hey kid,” I greeted. “How’s it going?”
Gus looked at me for a few more minutes and then turned back round to face his game again. “Fine.”
Ouch. No elated hug, not even a smile. My dad didn’t lie; Gus was upset. Instead of pressing, I walked over and sat down next to his chair and sat down on the floor. He didn’t look over from his game, but he shifted uncomfortably in his chair. I waited until it seemed like he was at a safe spot in his game, then I held out my hand for the controller. He looked down at my hand, but then flopped it in, and I took control of the person on the game.
“So, what do I do?” I asked. I’d never been much of a gamer, but it was one of Gus’ favorite things to do and I used to play with him a lot before I moved out.
“That sword in your hand is actually a key,” he said. “Those little black things, you can hit them with it, and you’re trying to find something to unlock with the key.”
“Ah, a key that is functional both as a sword and an actual key, how useful,” I said and then I laughed, but Gus didn’t join me, and eventually my smile faded.
It was so much worse that he was angry. It was like he’d forced himself to write me off and didn’t know what to do now that I was back again. I’d gambled with my very rare and precious relationship with my little brother. I hated that so much.
I followed along the path, striking any of the enemies that I could find, and then in the distance on the level, I saw a keyhole focused in the middle of a fountain. I started to charge forwards, but all of a sudden, the game went into a cutscene, and a much bigger monster than the ones I’d fought came falling from the sky.
“Whoa!” I yelped, then I handed the controller back. “Here. I don’t wanna cost you the game.”
Gus took back over, expertly making short work of the bad guy, then he sweetly offered the controller back to me so I could use the key and unlock the hole I’d found. It sent the game into another cutscene, and at the end of it, it gave me an option to save the game, which I did, then I turned the game off and moved so I was facing Gus instead. He didn’t put up a fight, but wouldn’t look at me, which hurt me more.
“Gus, look at me.” He didn’t look up, so I reached out and grabbed his hands. “Gus. I know you’re upset with me. I want to apologize.”
“You don’t have to say sorry,” he replied with a heartbreaking tone in his voice. “You just went away for awhile, that’s what mom said.”
I ran a hand through my short half-brown and half-blond dyed hair. “Yeah. I was having a hard time and I just needed to deal with it.”
“I hope you found something to help,” he replied. “When I’m sad, you help me, so if I couldn’t help you, I hope someone else could.”
It was like a knife straight to the heart. In his own nine-year-old way, he was asking me why he wasn’t good enough to help me through what I was going through. Thinking of him going to sleep every night wondering why I didn’t come to him when I was sad killed me. He deserved a better explanation than the one I had. He put his faith in me, and I essentially told him he wasn’t worth mine.
“Gus, you are who helps me when I’m sad. I don’t know why I didn’t come to you. I think I was just so confused with how sad I was. Have you ever been so sad that nothing makes sense at all?”
He shrugged. “Just when you left.”
Oh man, the kid was aiming straight for my throat. How was he making me feel so terrible without even trying? “I’m sorry, buddy. I’m so sorry. You know how much I love you, right?”
He nodded, though still sadly. “Yeah.”
I smiled. “Do you know what extortion is?”
He looked up at me with a tilt of his head. “No?”
“Sometimes, people do bad things, like me when I left you and made you sad, and sometimes that means that good people, like you, can hold that over the bad person’s head to get a few things they want,” I explained.
“It sounds like that would make me a bad person too,” Gus replied.
“Well, yes, in most situations, but in this very specific situation, no. I deserve to feel guilty for hurting you and upsetting you, and you deserve to be spoiled a little bit because I did those things. So anytime you want something, you just call and extort me for it.”
At that, Gus finally cracked a little smile. “The new game in that series we were just playing came out.”
“Then I’m buying it for you,” I said. “Can you download it directly?”
His smile widened. “Yeah, but will you play it with me?”
I nodded. “I promise I will, but I can’t do it right now. I’ll get it for you right now, but I have a few more people I have to apologize to. You weren’t the only one I hurt.”
“Will they get to use the extortion thing with you too?” he asked, and I laughed.
“Probably,” I said, then I opened my arms, and Gus flopped forward out of his chair, onto his knees, and into a hug. “I love you, kid.”
“I love you too.”
“I’ll never, ever do that to you again, okay?” I said.
“Okay.”
He pulled back, and I pushed him back into his chair. “This summer, I’m going to be living with my friends, but I’ll visit you whenever you want, and my friend has a massive pool with a slide. I bet you could come over for some awesome pool parties.”
“Yeah!” Gus yelped.
“I’m already on it.” I stood up and kissed him on his forehead. “Okay, go find the game and I’ll buy it.”
I spent a little bit of extra time with Gus, letting him show me the beginning of his game and making sure he felt extra loved, then I gave him a final kiss on the forehead and left, promising to be back soon. He saw me out with a smile, then I swung through the kitchen to give each of my parents a final kiss and goodbye. I returned to my car. It’d already been a long day, but I felt much better than I did at the beginning of the day. Ciara had been taken care of, my parents and Gus had forgiven me.
All that was left was The Royal Court—but for that, I’d need backup.
“Yello?” I smiled at the familiar sound of Sicily’s voice. I might have liked to see him in person, but the day was running short, so a phone call would have to suffice to get his help.
“Hi.”
“Hey!” Sicily squealed. “I haven’t heard your voice in a whole week. You get your old friends back and suddenly you’re too good for your old pal, Sicily?”
“You know that’s not true,” I replied. “I’ve mostly been sleeping.”
“I’m just yankin’ your chain. N
o one can quit ol’ Sic,” he responded.
Sicily had been my only friend through the past six months. Given that he and Deon became close in the time that Deon was at Postings Proper High before disappearing again, when Deon did go missing, Sicily was just as frustrated as I was. He too believed that Deon was still alive and out there, and we had been working together to try and find him. Though we’d had no luck, we developed quite the bond in the interim, and now I considered Sicily one of my closest friends.
“I just finished apologizing to my parents and Gus,” I said. “It went way better than I thought it would.”
“Glad to hear it. You headed to Nathan’s now?” he asked.
“Yeah, and I was hoping you could meet me there? I know they were my friends before, but they’ve all changed so much in the past six months that it feels like I’m walking into a house of strangers. It’d be nice to have a familiar face there.”
He snickered. “Aw man, you know I’ve got you covered. I’ve missed ya anyway, so let’s take on The Royal Court together, girl!”
My smile grew, even if Sicily wasn’t there with me. “Thanks, Sic.”
“No problem. I’ll leave in the next five minutes here. See you soon.”
“Yeah. Bye.”
I hung up my phone and started up my car, but I waited a bit to leave. Postings Proper, where Sicily lived, was about fifteen minutes from Nathan’s house, whereas I was only about five away. I spent a few minutes flipping through college offers that were still open to me, and a few internships who’d reached out due to my somehow stellar grades at the end of the year. Though I would never ask him about it and he would probably never tell me, I assumed Nathan paid to make sure I graduated. It was the kind of thing I felt like I should thank him for, but also the kind of thing that it seemed like he should have done considering what he put me through. Regardless, it was going to be one of those few things that was never spoken between us, especially because I had no idea what to do with it.
Even before Deon, I wasn’t sure what I was going to do with my life post-grad. So many of my decisions were dictated by The Royal Court and what was best regarding my affiliation with them. I had no clue what I wanted to do now. Beyond finding Deon and ending things for good with Connor, I probably needed to set a personal goal to sort my own life out. To stay that I was lost would be an understatement.
My self-loathing had killed enough time for the moment, so I put my phone away, started up my car, and headed out to Nathan’s. I drove on memory, the trip being one I’d made a hundred times before, and it made me anxious the way it felt a little like settling into an old routine. Things would be very different now, though—for the better, hopefully.
I probably ran at Sicily for a hug a bit more eagerly than I should have, but it was really nice to see him. Not just because he had supported me through arguably the most difficult time of my life, but he also reminded me of Deon. Even once all of this madness was over, Sicily and I would remain close. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
“Aw, hey there, gorgeous,” Sicily said as he pulled me into a huge hug. “I didn’t like not seein’ ya for a whole week.”
“Me too.” I pulled away. “I have this thing where I recede in on myself when I’m sad. You may have noticed.”
“Nah. No idea what you’re talkin’ about,” Sicily replied. “Alright. You ready for this?”
“Yeah. Thanks for coming with me,” I replied.
Sicily braced his hands on his hips and puffed out his chest. “Not a problem, ma’am.” He was wearing his signature newsboy hat, and his goatee was much fuller than it had been at the end of the year. The strangest, best superhero ever.
I grabbed my bag, which Sicily almost immediately pulled from my hands, and then we started towards Nathan’s house. The stone facade of the main house was a little daunting given the myriad of awful experiences I’d had the last few times I’d been there, but ever since Nathan’s mom was killed and his father went missing, he had the inside of the main house on his family’s property renovated and now it was the official Royal Court clubhouse. He’d created a bedroom inside for all of the members, mostly by pairing, and he’d created a ton of entertainment spaces for enjoying ourselves over the summer. The story I’d told my parents and Ciara wasn’t entirely untrue. We were planning to enjoy ourselves a little over the summer.
Whether or not we would succeed was yet to be seen. It mostly depended on if we found Deon, and exactly how much of our lives Connor was determined to ruin from wherever in Maine he was.
Once again, in spite of the key I had which would get me into the house I was in front of, I knocked regardless. Just like with my parents’ house, I felt like I had to earn the right to come and go as I pleased. We waited a few moments in silence and then eventually, I could hear the door unlock.
It opened and the face I saw on the other side was so much more welcome than I could have possibly imagined.
“Cherri!” Avery yelped. She damn near jumped through the doorway to wrap her arms around me and pull me into a bear hug. I wrapped my arms around her and returned the hug. “I missed you!”
“I missed you,” I replied.
Avery was my best friend. Through circumstances she had very little control over, I blamed her for losing Deon along with the rest of The Royal Court, when my anger should have been directed at people like Connor and anyone who helped him control Postings the way he did. I couldn’t bring myself to entirely regret it—I’d lost so much of myself being in The Royal Court. Not only did stepping away allow me to get back to my more natural self, but it also led to me getting close to Sicily. That said, I ended up taking things to the extreme and hurting someone who’d only ever been like a sister to me.
She didn’t deserve that.
We pulled apart a little, but I placed my hands on her face and looked into her eyes. “You’re so beautiful. I’m so happy to see you.”
She smiled wider and there were tears plucking at the corners of her eyes. “I’m happy to see you too. I missed you so much.”
“I missed you too. I’m sorry for everything I did,” I said. “I love you.”
She snickered. “You’ve apologized to me about a thousand times this week and I already told you I forgive you.”
“I know, but I was so mean to you and—”
Avery dragged me back into a hug. “It’s okay, Cherri. We all had a tough time. If something happened to Ali, I can’t say I wouldn’t act the same. It’s fine. Let’s just put it behind us.”
I squeezed onto her, loving the feeling of my best friend in my hands once again. “Okay. I’d like that.”
We finally released, and Avery turned to Sicily with just as bright a smile. “Hi, Sicily.”
“What’s goin’ on, Avery?” Sicily replied. “I forget. Are you one of the single ones?”
I backhanded his arm, frowning. “What is wrong with you?”
Sicily shrugged. “What? Your old pal Sicily’s been working hard lately. It’d be nice to have a pretty face to come home to.”
Avery didn’t seem at all bothered by the question. “Well, as much as I think I’d enjoy being your pretty face, I am not single. I’m with Alistair.”
“None of the girls in The Royal Court are single,” I added on.
Sicily deflated. “Figures.”
He shoved past Avery and walked into the house with his arms limply at his side, and though I knew he was mostly kidding, I also knew Sicily was an undercover romantic. Being in the house with all the couples was going to be hard on him.
I looked at Avery. “I don’t suppose you know anyone we could set him up with?”
Avery shrugged. “No one that he doesn’t already know. He’ll find someone though, I’m sure. Sicily’s awesome.”
“He really is. It’d be nice if he could have someone great,” I said. “Although, truth be told, I don’t think anyone in The Royal Court is actually up to the task. He needs someone a little quirkier than we are.”
“I’ll keep an eye out,” Avery said. “Well, come on in. Everyone’s here.”
“Oh.” I hesitated in the doorway. “Really?”
Avery looped an arm around mine and pulled. “Come on, Cherri. Everyone here loves you and is very happy to see you. It’ll be okay. We want to discuss what to do next about Connor and Deon.”
I took a deep breath in and held it for a few seconds, then I slowly let it out. “Okay. I’m ready.”
I hadn’t seen The Royal Court since the day we defeated Connor’s henchmen. I sat in Nahtan’s living room and sobbed until my eyes were sore, and then embarrassingly dragged myself out with Sicily and hadn’t been back since. Apart from a few texts back and forth with Nathan to make my new living arrangements and several apologetic calls to Avery, I hadn’t even spoken to them in the week since it all had happened. Why I was so nervous, I didn’t know. They’d all been my friends before—maybe it was because they’d all changed so much, just like me.
Avery pulled, and I relented to her as she led us inside, shutting the door behind us. I could hear the quiet murmur of voices from the living room that got louder as we approached. Eventually, we rounded the corner to see that Sicily had already made himself comfortable on one of the plush couches and was chatting happily with Kyle. Nathan, Nikita, Jaxon, Colette and Alistair were also scattered around. As soon as we walked in, everyone looked up and smiled at me, and each gave me their own cheery greetings.
Colette, Alistair, Nathan and Kyle each stood up to hug me, while Jaxon nodded and smiled at me. Nikita just watched me. She and I still weren’t on great terms, I imagined. If it wasn’t the fact that I dated the man she was in love with for close to four years, then it was the fact that we’d gotten into a fight wherein she had swiftly kicked my ass. It was a blow to my ego, but it was also the beginning of my realization that I’d gotten so far beyond myself that I needed to re-evaluate what was going on in my life. She was still upset with me for punching Colette until she passed out, so her list of reasons to remain upset with me was long.