by Donna Alward
“You think I have a choice? That I can decide?”
He was already a goner.
“Maybe decide is the wrong word. Maybe acknowledge.” Her fingers traced over his jaw, the fingernail scraping his stubble a little bit. “Me, here with you, like this... I’m acknowledging that I feel something for you.”
“I don’t take this lightly,” he murmured.
“Nor do I. So when you touch me...when you take me...know that I’ve made this choice tonight. Knowing the risks and wanting you anyway.”
He was afraid. Humbled. He almost considered not going through with it, and then she moved toward him, pressing her lips to the hollow between his shoulder and collarbone. He shuddered and closed his eyes, drinking in the sensation, the tenderness, the heat of it. Their time together in the summer had been nothing short of spectacular. With the news of the baby and walking on eggshells, he’d nearly forgotten. But not now. Not with her so close to him with his shirt spread open and their skin touching, warm and soft.
He let out a shaky sigh, then gathered her against him and shut out the world.
* * *
Tori rolled over and felt the sheets gathered beneath her armpits. They were silk, black silk, and caressed her body as she shifted to face Jeremy.
He was still sleeping on his back, his lips relaxed and his lashes resting peacefully.
She was wearing nothing but her bikini panties again, which she vaguely remembered pulling on before sliding back into bed and into his arms, falling into sleep.
That had been two hours ago, around eight o’clock. Right now, her belly rumbled and the baby kicked all at the same time. They hadn’t eaten dinner.
“Someone’s hungry.”
Her breath caught at the sound of his amused voice. His eyes were still closed, but the corners of his mouth twitched.
“I am. And so’s your kid. Besides, that casserole is cold now and we should eat it and then put the leftovers in the fridge.”
“But you’re warm and snuggly.”
Snuggly wasn’t the word she’d use. Her breasts were heavier now and more sensitive with the pregnancy, and the slippery sheets felt almost like a caress. She was nearly naked in bed with him; that was distraction enough. But she was also starving. And truthfully, she was still reeling from what had happened between them. She needed some distance to make sense of her thoughts.
It had been good between them before. Tonight had been...better. Because it wasn’t just a fling anymore. Their connection had been transcendent.
She shook her head and figured that kind of thinking was going to get her into trouble. They still had to figure out this parenting thing with clear heads. Regretfully, she slipped out of the sheets and went searching for her bra.
“Here.” He got out of bed and, fully naked, went to the closet and took out a soft robe. “Put this on if you don’t want to get all dressed up again.”
It was charcoal gray and thick and soft, and she wrapped it around her body while his scent rose from the fabric. “Thanks,” she murmured.
And tried not to look at his butt when he went back to the closet, but she failed. It was a rather spectacular backside.
He returned wearing a pair of plaid sleep pants and a sweatshirt. It shouldn’t have been attractive, but it made her want to crawl inside his embrace again.
They went to the kitchen and Tori scooped up servings of casserole and put them in the microwave. While they were heating, she put the rest in containers and put them in the fridge, next to the salad that had never been touched. Jeremy filled water glasses, and within moments they were seated at the counter again, chowing down on the chicken, broccoli and rice with creamy sauce.
“This is delicious.”
“It’s my mom’s recipe. I don’t know where she got it, but she used to make it now and again, especially for potlucks.”
He took a sip of water. “Potlucks?”
She laughed. “Okay, so not everyone in the world caters their functions. A potluck is where you have a gathering of some kind and everyone brings a dish. It’s awesome because you get this amazing variety of food. Some people just stop at the grocery store and get platters of veggies and stuff, you know? But then other people bring amazing dishes. We had a neighbor who always made meatballs. A guy from church who came with a ton of hot chicken wings. And don’t get me started on the salads and cheeses and appetizers...”
He laughed, scooping up more food. “It sounds fun.”
“It is. And if it’s a kitchen party, then you also bring your own alcohol and someone is likely to bring a guitar and it gets fun and rowdy.”
His face took on a faraway expression. “What?” she asked.
“I don’t think I’ve ever had that in my life.”
She patted his hand. “Where I come from, few people are rolling in cash. Everyone chips in, good times had by all. It’s what happens in a community.”
“In my community, people decorate and cater and send out invitations and try to impress each other.”
“Sounds dreadful.”
Now his face was downright pensive. “I’m sorry to hear that, because my mom is holding something quite similar to that on Saturday, at our house in Connecticut. I want you to come.”
All the warmth that had been flooding through her body froze. “Oh, no. Meet the parents? Not likely.”
He pushed his plate aside, and she did, too. She didn’t have much appetite left.
“Tori, after tonight, I think we need to start talking about what we plan to do. I mean, really talk about it. This whole week has been amazing and fun. But the point was also to be alone together, to decide what we want to do about us and the baby. We haven’t even talked about that at all.”
She nodded, looking down at the smears of sauce on her plate. “I know. I’ve been avoiding it because everything is going to change.”
He put his hand over hers. “Would you consider moving here?”
Panic slid down her body. She was still vulnerable from the hours spent in his arms, and her hopes warred with caution. “I don’t know. I don’t want to say no right off the bat, but while I’ve enjoyed my week here, I’m not sure I’m the kind of person who can live in the middle of a huge city. Let alone Manhattan.”
“We could keep this place and stay here when we want to come into the city. And I’d be willing to look at properties elsewhere that you might like better.”
“Like Connecticut?”
He laughed a little. “And be that close to my family? Hell, no. Maybe more like Long Island. There are some particularly good places for young families there.” He squeezed her hand. “This is my job, you know. I can find us a place, if you’ll consider moving.”
Was she really considering it? The idea took her breath away. “You’re assuming that I’m okay with picking up and leaving my life. But I like my life. And I like working. I know I wouldn’t have to provide an income for us to live off. But the Sandpiper has been my home away from home for years now. I’ve helped build it into the hotel it is today. It’s asking a lot, to leave the life I’ve built behind.”
“I know.” He let out a sigh. “But you can work anywhere, right? Especially if it’s not about the money. You could find something that you really like.”
She thought about it. A big house, their baby, a job she could work at to give her purpose...never any worries about bills. She wasn’t sure she trusted a future that seemed so perfect. “After what you said about your mom, I thought you’d want me to be home to look after the baby all the time.”
He snorted. “My mom was home all the time and never spent a second with us. Being a good parent isn’t decided on who gets to stay home and who works. Even I know that.”
She smiled. “Okay, fair enough.” She looked over at him. “And you’re sure you don’t want to come to Nova Scotia?”
“D
on’t get me wrong. I love the province. It’s beautiful. But the market is so much smaller. I’d be bored out of my mind. And that has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with me not wanting to fall into the trap of the ‘idle rich.’ I need a purpose, too.”
She got that. She truly did.
“There’s immigration stuff to worry about. I’m not a US citizen.” Especially if a marriage wasn’t in the picture.
“We can get a lawyer for that.”
“I suppose.” She slid her hand out from beneath his. “And problems do go away easier when you can throw money at them.”
It was quiet for a few moments, before Jeremy spoke up again, his eyes telegraphing his disappointment. “That’s the first time you’ve thrown money in my face. Are you upset?”
She felt badly, even though what she’d said was true. Solutions to problems came easier when there was lots of money to look after them. Truthfully, though, she was scared. Not angry. Just overwhelmed.
This gorgeous man, sitting in his robe, eating leftovers after making love... She was petrified of making a wrong decision. Because right now the truth was she could envision their life together and it seemed so perfect. She was pretty sure she was falling in love with him, and after what had happened earlier tonight, she thought it might be a possibility that he’d fall for her, too. He’d confided in her. And then they’d been intimate. There had been a moment when their eyes had met and it had felt as if everything clicked into place.
She just had to be brave enough.
“There’s a lot of personal risk for me,” she said quietly, and swiveled on her stool so she was facing him. Their knees barely touched. “Yes, it would mean both of us being there to parent our child. And yes, this week has been really promising with regards to...us. It’s still a leap and a half to think about quitting my job, leaving my country and moving in with you with no guarantees.” She patted his knee. “Please don’t think I’m looking for guarantees. I’m not. It’s much too soon for that.”
“We can lay out any terms you want,” he replied. His gaze held hers. “You can go home whenever. You know that, right? It’s not just about business for me, either, Tori. The opportunities here for him or her... They’re huge. I want our kid to have the best of both worlds—the opportunities I had with the love and support I didn’t. But I think you did.”
Would living here be so bad? Especially if there was money—which there would be—for her mom to fly here, or for her to fly home? It was a fairly short direct flight, after all. And it wasn’t as if she hated his apartment; she had loved her week here and all the things New York offered. “You’d really look at moving outside the city and commuting in?”
He shrugged. “Lots of people do it. Besides, I’m not always in the city anyway. We could get a place near the water. Have a boat. Hell, we could travel up the coast to visit your mom if you wanted.”
Because money was no object. Except it was all his money, and she knew she shouldn’t feel guilty but did anyway.
“I’d want some sort of agreement drawn up,” she said firmly. “Something stating that if this doesn’t work out, I can’t go after your money. I’m not a gold digger, Jeremy.”
His lips dropped open. “I know that.”
“I want it in writing just the same.”
“Whatever makes you happy.” He slid forward on his bar stool a bit. “Tori, I know I’m asking a lot of you. In return I promise to do whatever I can to make sure you’re happy and content. If that means you look for a job, so be it. If you want to stay home with the baby, that’s fine, too.” He put his hand on her belly. “I like you a lot, and I think you like me.” That flirty smile was back on his lips. “At least the last few hours give me that impression. I have to do better than my own father did with me, you know? And if that means giving our relationship a try, then what do we have to lose? If it doesn’t work, we figure out a new arrangement. But there’s so much to gain, sweetheart. So much.”
Damn. He’d hit her right in her vulnerable spots. She knew how much his father’s abandonment had affected him. And he’d called her sweetheart—to her mind, the first endearment to leave his lips.
It wasn’t the normal progression for a relationship, but what did that matter? He’d been wonderful from the start. Yes, they had their differences—financially, geographically—but did that mean they couldn’t have a future together? Of course not.
“Well, I’m willing to look at some options. No guarantees, but I’m not saying no.”
A brilliant smile broke over his lips. “It’s a maybe, which is way better than no. I’ll take it. And I can show you some examples of nice properties for us.”
She also wanted to ask him about citizenship for the baby, because she couldn’t imagine having her baby outside Canada. But that didn’t have to be decided tonight. The fact that they’d come up with the beginnings of a plan was huge.
That she’d be facing a lot of changes meant she had a lot to think over. Work, for example, and how long she’d stay at the hotel before the baby was born. Living arrangements. Possibly listing her own house, if she decided to move.
He got up and took their plates into the kitchen, stopping to load them in the dishwasher. “Come on,” he said, once they were out of sight. “Come to bed and get some sleep. We have Mom’s on Saturday, but tomorrow I have another surprise for you. Something I haven’t done since I was a kid.”
“Oh?” Her interest piqued, she lifted her head and peered around the corner at him. “What’s that?”
He came back and held out his hand. She took it. “If I told you, it wouldn’t be a surprise.” He tugged on her hand, and she slipped off the stool. “But I promise you’ll like it.”
“You haven’t steered me wrong yet,” she admitted, and let herself be pulled closer, so that his arm was around her as they made their way back down the hall.
At the junction to their bedrooms, he stopped and looked into her eyes. “If you want to sleep in your own bed, I understand, but if you want to stay with me, I’d like that, too. It’s your choice.”
Spending the night seemed like a big deal, but then, if they were really going to give this a shot, she couldn’t keep shying away from intimacy. At some point she had to trust that he was as good as he seemed.
“Your room is fine,” she said, butterflies settling in her stomach at this new step in their relationship. “But I’d like to get my pajamas first, if that’s okay.”
“If it makes you more comfortable,” he answered, tapping a fingertip on her nose and smiling. “Don’t do it on my account.”
Heat crept up her cheeks, but she tried to enjoy it. Sharing a child made the stakes high, but there was no reason why this couldn’t turn out to be a good, healthy relationship. Why it couldn’t be a real future. It was a dizzying and sobering thought.
She scurried away to get her comfy boxer shorts and top. Tonight they were sharing his room. Tomorrow, some sort of surprise. And then night after that, she was meeting his family.
If that didn’t sound like a guy who was serious about moving forward, she wasn’t sure what did.
CHAPTER TWELVE
JEREMY KNELT BEFORE Tori and tightened up the laces on her skate. “Is this too tight?”
“No, it feels just right.”
He gave the ends another tug, then tied the knot and bow. “Okay, then. Give me your other foot.”
Skating at Rockefeller Center was something he’d done as a kid. While his mom had come to the city to shop, their nanny at the time would take them skating and then off to some other adventure—and lunch—since dragging three kids around had cramped his mom’s style, and his brother and sister weren’t old enough to be left to their own devices. There had always been a trip to see Santa Claus, too. He’d loved that at first; his siblings had been much older and had rolled their eyes. Some years he couldn’t remember; he’d been too yo
ung. Another, though, he’d asked for some video game system while sitting on Santa’s lap.
Christmas morning arrived. No gaming console. His mother had been quite put out at him when he’d complained, and said how was she to know he wanted it? Maybe because he’d mentioned it only a million times and put it in his letter to Santa.
Despite that unfortunate memory, today actually brought back a lot of good ones, including lacing up skates and the hot chocolate that was to follow. Besides, as a kid, the last thing he would have wanted was to be dragged from store to store.
“Jeremy? You okay?”
He lifted his head and met her gaze. “Yeah, sorry. Just got caught up in a memory and forgot to keep tying.”
“I hope it was a good one.”
He smiled and tugged on the laces. “It was. I came here a lot as a kid.” He gave the bow a final jerk and sat back. “There you go. All set.”
She waited as he put on his own skates. “I did not expect this for a surprise today.”
“It’s not Christmas without the tree here and skating. And hot chocolate.”
Tori pulled on thick mittens. Today she wore the older jacket that zipped up in front, which was better for skating. But she wore a new hat, he realized, and grinned. It had a hole in the top, and her dark ponytail came out and trailed down the back of her head to her neck.
Adorable was the best word to describe her right now.
“You all set?”
She nodded and held out a hand. “Let’s do it.”
The ice was smooth and the air crisp as they took their first gliding steps. “Be careful,” he warned. “I don’t want you falling down.”
She laughed. “I’ve been skating since I was three years old. Don’t worry about me.” Then she twisted a little and pretended to look at her bottom. “And besides, I have lots of cushioning at the moment.”
She didn’t. She had curves and perhaps her figure had softened since last summer, but he found it even more alluring. Last night he’d marveled at the feel of her against him, around him. The softness of her skin and her sighs. He was in serious danger here. Thank goodness she was considering moving, because he wasn’t sure what he would have said if she’d flat out refused. It wasn’t just the baby, now. He wanted her with him.