He quickly sits up, swinging his legs over the edge of the berth, taking in a deep breath through his nose. “Sorry,” he says briskly. “My alarm went off, but I guess I didn’t hit snooze. I was…distracted.”
“I didn’t even bother with mine,” I tell him as he pulls his jeans on. I briefly get to admire the look of his ass in his boxer briefs. Just like his cock in the front, it’s spectacular.
“That’s your first mistake,” he tells me, and I can tell from his tone that he’s back in grump mode, and whatever sexy little escapade just happened between us is over. Maybe for good. “Don’t rely on other people.”
Then he heads out of the cabin.
I sigh, and slowly sit up. It’s tempting to go back to sleep, but I know that if I lie down again, I’ll never get back up, which means he’ll have a reason to be mad at me.
Yet I am in no hurry to go on night shift with him after what just happened.
But I don’t have much of a choice. It’s not like I can avoid him.
I get dressed and then head out into the rest of the boat.
I pass by Richard in the galley who is grabbing a can of soda from the fridge, looking bleary-eyed and annoyed.
“Sorry about that,” I tell him.
The look he gives me tells me he doesn’t believe me.
I have to wonder if he heard Tai’s moan when I palmed his dick.
I hope not, though I know that sound will forever be the soundtrack of all my future sex dreams.
On deck the air feels different than normal, though I can’t quite put my finger on it. Electric and alive, but not in a good way.
Tai is already at the wheel, looking uncomfortable as he stares at something on the GPS plotter. He’s forgotten to make coffee tonight, so already this shift is starting off on the wrong foot.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, just as the wind starts to blow, rattling the sails.
“That front is here quicker than I thought,” he says.
“Are we in trouble?”
He shakes his head, looking around him. There are no stars out tonight and the sky is dark and murky. You can’t see much beyond the lights from the boat, but it looks like white caps are starting to form. “I don’t think so,” he says.
“Should I go downstairs and make coffee?” I ask him.
He manages to give me a quick smile. “Sure. Thank you.”
Maybe he’s feeling bad for being curt earlier.
I head downstairs and put the stove on, waiting for the water boil and arranging the French press. The wait gives me some time to think about what happened.
If Richard hadn’t knocked on the door…
I don’t know. Tai was looking at me like he was not only going to kiss me, but that he was going to take both my arms and pin them above my head and fuck the life out of me.
God, it would have been so easy too.
So needed.
Just to have someone touch me.
And not just anyone.
His touch. With those hands.
All over.
I gulp, feeling sexually frustrated again, wondering if there’ll be another opportunity before we get to Fiji.
I have to say, as much as I am dying to get off this boat, I don’t think I’m ready to say good-bye to him.
Which is funny, because days ago I couldn’t wait.
As long as he doesn’t turn into an ass again, I think. It’s a big if.
When the coffee is ready, I pour it into the thermos, grab the mugs and head up top.
The wind is even stronger now, the cable that runs up the side of the mast making an incessant clanking sound.
He’s busy figuring stuff out on the touch screen, so I pour him a mug and put it in the holder beside the wheel.
“Thank you,” he says, giving me an appreciative glance before going back to whatever he’s trying to do.
“You’re welcome,” I say. Then I hesitate, because I feel like something needs to be said about earlier. “I’m sorry I touched your dick.”
He chuckles. “I’m not. It’s my one redeeming quality.”
I take a sip of my coffee and smile. “I wouldn’t say that. I’d list them all but I wouldn’t want to give you an ego. And yet something tells me it might be too late.”
The smile he gives me is a little more rushed. He’s frowning.
My heart sinks. I hope it’s not me.
Then again, I hope it’s nothing related to the boat, either.
Suddenly, BAM!
The wind slams into us from behind and I’m nearly knocked over.
It didn’t seem possible, but the sky behind Tai has turned even darker, the waves even choppier. The wind is relentless all of a sudden.
“She’s here,” Tai says warily.
My heart thuds and I have to sit down to keep my balance. “Who?”
“The storm.”
Ten
Tai
Fuck.
I knew I should have woken up earlier this morning. That was the plan. I had even set my alarm an hour earlier because I didn’t want to leave Richard at the wheel for too long, not in this weather with the front coming in, especially as the southern reaches of the Lau Islands were showing up on the radar. They weren’t our stop, but I wanted to stay clear of them just in case.
Last night was fucking torture having Daisy in bed next to me.
I was asleep for maybe an hour before the show began.
I shouldn’t have stayed awake.
I should have ignored it, and believe me, at first I tried. Jammed those earplugs so deep inside my ears I thought they’d meld with my brain.
But they didn’t hide the shaking. Her quivering limbs.
And even the breathiest moans began to slide into my ears.
So I did what anyone would do.
Or maybe what any pervert would do.
It was pitch dark in the cabin, so I just listened.
Listened to the wet sounds her fingers were making as she stroked herself, listened to her moans and the gasps and the way she’d cry out, “Oh yes.”
I listened and imagined and I got off myself.
Couldn’t fucking help it.
It was impossible to not touch myself, to not come alongside her, aiming up on to my belly in a thick stream. I was terrified that she’d wake up and find myself jerking off beside her, but it didn’t stop me.
It’s what I needed after all this time spent with her, all those times I wanted to kiss her when I didn’t feel like arguing with her.
That’s when I fell asleep again.
Maybe for ten minutes.
Must have turned off the alarm.
Then I woke up again.
She was still going at it.
A fucking machine.
This time I turned on the light hoping to wake her.
And in that time she was going at it again, in full glorious view of me.
Her top was bunched up above her tits and she was squeezing one nipple in such a way that it took every ounce of control not to lean over and take her other nipple between my teeth, pinching first before licking, then pulling it into my mouth.
Her other hand was down in her underwear. Pink satin knickers that were drenched with her own enjoyment.
I could have watched that all night. I started taking mental notes, thinking if I’d ever get my chance with her, I’d know all the right moves. She likes it soft at first, her fingertips just teasing her clit, teasing her length, then she slowly increased the pressure, the speed. When she seems like she’s about to come from that alone, she nearly puts her whole fist inside herself.
My little gingersnap is greedy.
And needy.
I could fulfill all her needs.
Then…she woke up.
Flushed and embarrassed and bold all at once and, fuck, I would have been up for anything. The feeling of her hand on my dick was incredible, and I knew there and then how much she wanted me too.
And then Richard started banging on the do
or, bringing with him reality, and I realized what a colossal mistake I made. I let Daisy distract me from my job, the job I have in keeping everyone on this ship safe.
I’m still mad at myself for it, though I have to be careful so that Daisy doesn’t mistake that for me being mad at her. I don’t want to damage whatever trust we have between us, especially since I caught her (over and over again) in such a vulnerable position.
That said, I don’t have any time to dwell on it.
We’re in a situation.
Thankfully it’s not the worst, but it’s still something I need to stay on top of.
When I first got on deck the wind was just starting to whip up and I could feel the front coming from behind us, the way the sails changed and the boat started objecting to the direction. There was enough time for Daisy to make us some coffee, but I only had a few sips before things got gnarly. There was a lot of running around as we put on foul weather gear. I had to give Daisy the wheel for a bit so I could put mine on, plus life jackets.
It was a risk since the sails were up and the wind was coming from the southwest. We have to stay as north as possible, especially with the Lau Islands to the right of us, which means fighting the wind a little.
Luckily Daisy was great behind the wheel, holding course.
That gave me enough time to start taking in sails and clipping us onto the lifeline. The wind kicked to forty knots, accelerating the boat to nine knots, and sending us skipping over waves. With each rise and fall over the waves, the whole boat shudders and shakes, like a bronco trying to buck us from its back.
“You’re doing good,” I tell Daisy, coming back to relieve her of the steering.
In the faint cockpit lights, she practically has to pry her white-knuckled grip off the wheel.
“Are we going to be okay?” she asks, before a wave whips over the side, skirting us both.
“We’ll be fine, just a squall,” I tell her. “A pain in the ass, that’s it.”
I glance at the instruments.
The rain is pouring now, messing with visibility, so the radar is blazing away looking for the next squall to tear through and, more fearsome on a night like this, freighters.
Daisy wasn’t my ideal partner to have on a night like tonight. Not that she’s incapable, just that this is risky sailing and I’d rather have her below deck where she’s safe.
But with the autopilot out of commission and Richard needing his sleep, I don’t have a choice. I need her.
She seems to get that. She’s taking this seriously, if not fearfully.
“What else can I do?” she asks.
“Just be present,” I tell her. “Have a seat, hold on.”
She sits down beside me and I glance down the deck at the sails. They’re supposed to be halfway in, or reefed, in order to keep us from being where the wind wants to take us. But they aren’t quite there yet.
“Sorry, can you take over again?” I ask her. “Just keep it steady as you were before. You might be getting more resistance now.”
She nods, face grim and serious, and takes the wheel.
I head up to the front, carefully, taking slow steps and keeping low. The boat shudders with each slam of the waves and I train myself to walk in a similar rhythm. I’m almost at the bow when a wave comes over the side and soaks me, causing me to slip.
I hear Daisy yelp in the background and I reach out for a handle, holding on as my legs want to slip over the side of the boat. It takes a lot of upper body strength to pull me back up. I know I have the cable on, but they aren’t always foolproof. The last thing I want is to go overboard in a storm, the chances of me being brought back into the boat, even with a lifeline, are pretty slim.
Don’t focus on that, I tell myself.
I look back at Daisy who’s obviously freaking out. Luckily she’s still holding onto the wheel.
“I’m fine!” I yell at her. “Can you hit the deck lights?”
I glance back at the sail. It does seem to be stuck half-way but it’s too dark to make out. I’ll have to take some time to figure out what’s wrong.
“What?” Daisy yells, and it’s still dark.
I motion to where the switch is just as another wave nearly knocks me off balance. I grab onto the railing before I pitch over. “The deck lights, hit the deck lights, by your hand!”
“Okay!” she cries out uneasily, and hits the deck lights.
Except no lights come on.
Instead, there’s a terrible grinding noise audible beneath the roar of the ocean and the whipping wind.
And Atarangi immediately starts going to the right, to the direction I’ve been trying hard to keep her away from.
“What’s happening?” I yell at her, trying to make my way back to Daisy without falling overboard.
She’s frantically trying to spin the wheel but nothing’s happening.
The boat isn’t changing direction.
“I don’t know what happened,” Daisy says, her voice breaking. “I just…I hit the…”
She stares at the panels and she doesn’t have to say anything.
She slowly pushes a button and the deck lights go on.
Her eyes meet mine just as another wave crashes over me, but I hardly flinch.
Because I know what she’s done, and she knows it too.
She accidently hit the auto-pilot switch instead.
“No!’ the word explodes out of me and I start running down the deck, slipping and banging up my knees and scraping my hands, and I don’t care.
I fling myself into the cockpit and practically shove Daisy out of the way. She plunks down in the seat, staring at me with huge, frightened eyes.
I grab the wheel and attempt to correct the boat. The wheel gives easily, too easily, and it does nothing to change the direction. I can feel the electronic connection between the steering and the wheel has been severed, shorted out, broken by the use of the autopilot, this fucking autopilot!
“Fuck!” I roar, slamming my fist into the wheel. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” I grab the wheel and throw my head and back and scream into the wind.
“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry,” Daisy says.
“You idiot!” I scream at her. I don’t care if this hurts her fucking feelings. “Do you even know what you’ve done? Is there any room in your brain to comprehend it?”
Now she’s crying, her tears mixing with the rain falling off her hood.
“I’m sorry, I panicked, I thought I was hitting the deck lights!”
“You hit the autopilot!”
She presses her hands together in a praying manner. “I know,” she says in anguish. “I know, I didn’t mean to.”
“You know what it looks like, you’ve seen it before. It says fucking autopilot on it, it looks nothing like the light switch!” I am livid, I am pure, raw anger.
“I panicked!”
“You didn’t use your fucking head! Just out to fucking lunch, aren’t you?”
“Tai,” she sobs. “You don’t have to be so mean.”
“Be so mean?” I scream at her, spittle flying out. “This isn’t the time to protect your precious princess feelings, okay? Do you realize what’s going to happen now?”
She shakes her head. “No…no…can you, maybe you can fix it?”
“There is no fixing it right now! We are in the middle of a squall and we are drifting, okay?”
“Put the sails up! We can sail.”
“To the east! The wind is pushing us east and do you know what’s east of here? Land!”
She stops crying. “Really? That’s great! We can get help.”
She doesn’t get it.
“When I say land, I mean islands. Atolls. Mostly uninhibited. You tell me what we’re going to do in the dark, without any steering, huh? Let the wind magically push us into a harbor and right up to a fucking dock?”
A wave crashes over the side and into the cockpit as the boat continues to be pushed along. If I put the sail up now, we would be moving at breakneck speed b
ut there’s no saying where we’d end up.
I glance at the GPS, see the radar flashing. We’re about 10 miles out from what looks to be an atoll, something small and without a name on the chart. And when I say 10 miles out, I mean we’re heading straight for it.
I look up at Daisy. She’s shaking slightly, staring at nothing. Perhaps she’s in shock. Perhaps I shouldn’t be yelling at her.
Even though it’s all her fucking fault.
You’re the one who put her in charge, I tell myself. Maybe this is your fucking fault. Just like so many other things are.
“What’s happening?” Richard appears at the top of the stairs, throwing on his lifejacket. “I woke up to yelling, and my internal compass says we’ve changed direction.”
“We’re fucked!” I yell at him, letting go of my confident captain persona. “Absolutely and completely fucked!”
Richard frowns and I don’t bother throwing Daisy under the bus. She can do that herself.
“I…” she begins, reluctantly looking at Richard. “I panicked, he was trying to get the sail in and I thought I hit the deck lights but…”
Richard’s eyes widen beneath his glasses. “No. Please don’t tell me you hit the autopilot.”
“I hit the autopilot.”
“I said please don’t tell me that.”
“It was an accident!”
Richard shakes his head in disbelief and motions for Daisy to undo her lifeline.
“Go downstairs and tell Lacey what happened,” he tells her. “I’m staying up here.”
Reluctantly she undoes her clip and gives it to Richard, then heads down the stairs.
She looks at me before she disappears into the cabin but I give her nothing in return.
“Is that true?!’ Richard yells as he comes closer. “Did it shut down?”
I spin the wheel to show him. “We’ve got nothing.”
“Shit.”
He peers around at the navigation. “We’re going eight knots with the sail reefed,” he says, noting the instrument readings on the monitor. “What is this?” He points at the blob on the radar.
“That’s an island.”
“We’re heading straight for it!” He blinks at it and then looks to me in shock.
“I know.”
Lovewrecked Page 11