by D E Boske
hindered. Renlyss was laughing at something Nephraete had said and the Mage felt a pang of sadness at her loss. She really is beautiful. He never thought they’d end up like this.
“Good morning, Darian,” Renlyss said sweetly, offering him a plate of honey cakes; they were still warm.
“Morning,” he replied, as he reached for the plate. She poured him a cup of hot coffee and he sat next to her as it was the only available seat. He damn near groaned in pleasure as he bit into the cake and she smiled inwardly.
“Kelindril, how are you feeling?” Darian asked once breakfast was concluded. He helped support Kelindril, as they walked far enough from the others, so they’d have privacy.
“I… feel… What the hell was that thing?” he asked instead.
“It was a Wraith. Though I have no idea what one is doing in these parts. How are you feeling?” the Mage persisted.
“Weak, but okay. Thank you, Darian, for saving me. I’m not sure I deserve it, but thanks,” said the Gor Li’ Khan softly.
“You’re my friend, Kel. I wasn’t about to let you die. Besides, you wouldn’t have gone to Shenna’s side. You would have become a Wraith.”
This admission chilled the assassin to his core. His memory was hazy, he had no memory of Darian coming to his rescue. He remembered following the shadow into the trees and he remembered their battle, however fleeting. With sudden fear, something that was anathema to the Gor Li’ Khan, he remembered the Wraith breaking through his defenses and slicing his arm. After that, he had no memory until he awoke this morning. But he knew that something had happened, he could see it on the elven faces. And it wasn’t something good.
“Nym told me what you did to Shenna, Darian. How were you able to expel her? And why?”
“I did it because she was going to take you from me. I’m not sure how it happened, but I thrust my hand out at her and expelled her from the camp. I’ve never done anything like that before. I had no idea I could do such a thing.”
“Darian, she’s a goddess!” hissed Kelindril.
“Do you think I don’t know that? I had no intention of hurting her. I don’t even know how I did what I did. It was on impulse, instinct, I was under pressure because I was running out of time to save you. She was right there and I… didn’t even think about it, I just did it.”
“You know what this means, don’t you?” asked Kelindril, worried for his friend.
“I used Dark Magic to banish Shenna. She’s spoken to me on several occasions and how do I repay her? By ejecting her!”
“I believe she knows your heart. She knows you meant her no harm,” reassured Kelindril.
“I’ve got something for you,” Darian said, swiftly changing the subject, as he placed a small stone in the Gor Li’ Khan’s hand.
“What’s this?” asked Kelindril, looking at the beautifully polished stone in his hand. It was triangular, mostly white with a black swatch on the left side.
“It’s called Merlinite and I have enchanted it so that we may speak over great distances. I couldn’t warn you, Kelindril, and for that, I am sorry. Stopping the casting was not an option because the repercussions would have been so much worse. From now on, you all will be able to communicate with me the same as the forest elves do. Through your thoughts.”
Kelindril didn’t know what to say. This was a priceless gift and one that he would cherish, though he most likely would never admit to it.
“Thank you, Mage,” he said lightly, but he knew Darian was not fooled. The Mage had the audacity to look smug.
“You’re welcome. Now, let’s try it out,” he said, sounding eager.
“What do I need to do?” asked Kelindril, looking perplexed.
“All you need to do is hold the stone and speak with your thoughts. Just think of what you want to say and think about who you want to say it to. But be careful! Kylee does not need a stone to hear you,” the Mage laughed at the look on Kel’s face.
“Oh c’mon, you two look so good together and she took care of you. What more do you want?” asked Darian with a knowing smile.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Of course,” Darian replied, no longer teasing. He could see the assassin was serious, troubled even.
“How do you know when you’re in love?” Kelindril nearly choked out the words and wished he’d never spoken them aloud.
Your heart will tell you. She will be the first thing you think of in the morning and your last thoughts before Ru Nay’ Sha claims you will be of her. Your blood will heat when she looks at you and her touch, electrifying!
Oh gods! I think I’m going to be sick! I think I’m in love with Kylee, Darian. What should I do?
There was more than one sarcastic rejoinder Darian had ready, but the elf looked so forlorn, he swallowed them all. Just take your time and don’t rush into anything. I understand your hesitation, Kel and so does she, I’m sure. She’s been hurt too, but she sees something in you. I think you’d be good for each other. Start out by just taking walks and talking. Things will progress naturally from there.
That’s what I’ afraid of.
They were cautious as they brought down the wards and protective spells, but the Wraith never appeared. Kelindril stayed close to Darian and away from Kylee. He was nowhere near ready to deal with the conflicting emotions he felt every time he looked at her. She glanced in his direction often, but he was careful to never look at her. His stomach was tied in knots and he wished this was something that could be cured. He didn’t want to feel what he was feeling. It had been so long and he was terrified. He’d rather Darian let him die than go through this. The thought was frightening, but no less true.
“Hi,” Kylee said softly, as she slipped her hand in his.
“Hi,” Kelindril said, feeling his face heat. He wanted to yank his hand free, but didn’t want to hurt her. He’d never been afraid before. He’d faced many terrors in service to Thelarki and Darian, but nothing like this. He’d rather face a demon hoard than Kylee’s beautiful eyes. Somehow, he found the demon hoard comforting. At least he knew what to do in battle. There was never any hesitation. He knew what needed to be done and did it.
“It looks like it’s going to be a beautiful day,” she said, looking at him.
“Yeah, it sure does,” he replied, a bit out of his element. “Kylee, I’m sorry, I have things I must see to.”
“No, you don’t, Kelindril,” said Nymdal. He’d never seen his commander with a woman before and he knew the reason why. Kylee would be good for him, Nym knew and he wasn’t about to let Kelindril screw this up.
“I have Alystriel and Brandiel doing reconnaissance, Garthys, Tampra, Thorndyl, and Jedekken are surrounding our perimeter and the rest of us are near Darian. Do not worry, Kelindril, we can take care of this. Rest and enjoy your time with Kylee,” said Nymdal, flashing Kylee a knowing grin.
Kelindril made a mental note to speak to Nymdal later. He knew he was doing this on purpose. Kelindril was grateful to Nym that he cared enough about him to do this, but at the same time, he didn’t want to be here with Kylee because she made him so uncomfortable. She took him outside his comfort zone, a place that was foreign to Kelindril and one that he was not eager to explore.
“So, your day is free,” Kylee said, smiling up at him.
“It appears you are correct,” he replied, with an awkward grin. He didn’t like the way he felt when she smiled at him. He wanted to kiss her and… other things that he had not done in over a decade. By the goddess!! Why are you doing this to me?
“Would you like to have dinner with me?” she asked, clearly afraid that he would reject
her.
Kelindril’s mouth went dry and he coughed uncomfortably. He really wanted to have
dinner with her. Alone. And he wanted to lick wine from her…
“Of course, he does,” Darian answered for him. The Mage could feel the elf’s anger radiating through the stone.
“That would be nice, Kylee,” said Kel
indril. He couldn't afford to refuse after Darian graciously accepted her offer for him. That would make him look like an ass.
They walked for the better part of the morning and early afternoon before finally stopping for something to eat. Kylee sat with Kelindril, her left shoulder touching his right. They had talked all day and Kelindril was feeling anxious.
He didn’t ever remember feeling this strong an attraction to anyone. Not even with Elyssa, the girl that broke his heart. She was responsible for what he’d become. He hated her. He’d tried so many times to talk to her, to find out why she did what she did, but she always refused to see him.
Now Kylee was here and she really seemed to like him, but he could not rid himself of his fears and inhibitions. He didn’t want to be with her, she terrified him, and yet, he wanted her. He fought to control his arousal before he did something he knew he would regret. He felt her hand on his right thigh and nearly jerked away.
Kelindril, you have nothing to fear. She won’t hurt you. He heard the Mage’s words in his mind.
You don’t know that. I never thought Elyssa would either, but she did.
You know you’re letting her win, don’t you? asked Darian.
What are you talking about? asked the elf, irritably.
Do you think she’s suffering, pining over you?
No, she left me, said the elf, his anger rising.
Alright then, why are you making yourself suffer? She left you. Yeah, it sucks, but so what. Life sucks sometimes. Don’t let her have the upper hand, Kelindril. By continuing to remain alone, you are agreeing with her and saying that you’re not worthy of love. Put out the torch you are carrying for her in the fires of your passion for Kylee. If you take my meaning.
Kelindril knew exactly what Darian meant and he thought about the point his friend was trying to make. He had suffered all these years because of her. Could Darian’s explanation be so simple? Could he just let go of all that pain, anger, and betrayal? He didn’t know, but his resolve was beginning to crumble.
He felt Kylee’s hand slide up his thigh and a dull ache began to build within him. Her touch burned him alive and if he didn’t move soon, he would be consumed by it.
The Gor Li’ Khan watched Kelindril’s interaction in amazement. They never saw him so much as speak to a woman unless it was business related. Kelindril had begun to change since joining with Darian. They didn’t know what magic the Mage was working on Kelindril, nor did they care. All they wanted was for Kelindril to become the elf that he used to be. Kryndale most of all. Since the tundra, they started talking once more, but Kryndale could see that Kelindril had much farther to go. His old friend could still be volatile at times and he was unpredictable at best.
Darian put an end to the assassin’s misery and got them back on the road. Kylee slipped her hand into Kelindril’s once more and he groaned inwardly, but did not flinch. Her touch was tortuous and yet he craved it like a suffocating man craves air.
It was growing dark when Nym finally called a halt. The Mages began setting the wards and protective spells, while the rest set up camp. They all looked around a bit nervously, remembering the other worldly encounter last night, but the Wraith never materialized. Darian and Thimkur teamed up again to set the wards in place, but Thimkur was contemplative tonight. He watched the young Mage carefully for a long while before finally speaking.
“Are you okay, Darian?” asked Thimkur.
“I’m fine, Thimkur. Why do you ask?”
“Seriously?” asked Thimkur. “What happened yesterday, Darian? How can you act like it was nothing?”
“What would you like me to do, Thimkur?”
“I want you to be honest with me, Darian,” replied Thimkur.
“You and I both know that’s never going to happen,” responded the young Mage.
“How were you able to heal the elf?” asked Thimkur, trying a different tactic.
“I think you already know the answer to that question, don’t you?”
“Dark Magic, right?” asked Thimkur, getting a bit perturbed by Darian’s stonewalling. “An Orb of Healing, where did you come by such an artifact? They have not been seen since the Dark Times.”
“Many things were lost in the Niv Dol’ Meh, Thimkur,” said Darian evasively.
“You have to start trusting someone, Darian. You cannot win this without doing so.”
Nymdal ran up to Darian, speaking urgently in elvish and Darian responded in kind. It amazed Thimkur how easily Darian switched from common to elvish with little to no thought. He had no idea what they spoke of and he knew that the young Mage would never tell him. He was frustrated because he had no idea how to prove his loyalty. Darian was cagier than most and trusted no one except for a few elves. Thimkur guessed he couldn’t blame him. The Order didn’t exactly inspire trust.
“I don’t trust anyone, Thimkur, you should know that. The Order raised both of us and they taught us not to trust anyone, not even a fellow Mage. Especially not a fellow Mage,” corrected Darian.
“We all submitted to you. What more could you possibly want?”
“I don’t want anything, Thimkur. Let’s finish these wards, I’d like to get something to eat,” Darian said, a bit gruffly.
Nephraete took control of the meal and made one of her favorite dishes from Kaleika Bay. She cut and cooked spicy deer sausage, sautéed red, yellow, and green peppers, then added a splash of elven cream. Then she made wild rice and combined it all to simmer over the fire for about twenty minutes.
Kelindril refilled his bowl and poured more Nykessa for Kylee and himself. He’d need a lot of wine to make it through tonight. The meal was delicious and it made him think of home. Home. Now that was a peculiar term. He hadn’t felt at home in Kaleika Bay for longer than he could remember. He’d been a Gor Li’ Khan for centuries already and the lines had blurred. Lines between good and evil, right and wrong. Did these things really matter anymore?
During his service to the crown, he’d committed too many heinous acts to count. In the beginning, it had kept him awake many nights. He had trouble reconciling what he was forced to do. Then Elyssa happened and he wanted revenge. He wanted others to feel the pain that he felt. He threw himself into his work and became lost. Soon, these things no longer bothered him and Thelarki continuously sought him and his team out for the more gruesome tasks.
“Hey, where’d you go just now?” asked Kylee, watching Kelindril closely. “Is something bothering you?” she asked, moving closer to him.
“Nothing that a good kill wouldn’t fix,” he replied with a dark smile. He’d grown to depend on the killing and reveled in the bloodshed.
“Walk with me, Kel,” she asked, rising and holding out her hand to him.
The dangerous gleam in his eyes frightened her, but she wouldn’t show it. He fed on fear. Fear drove him. Right now, he wasn’t the Kelindril she knew. He was a killer. He was the killer he’d warned her about. Despite all this, she still felt that there was an elf in there who desperately wanted to be saved. He just didn’t know how to ask and he was just as afraid as she was. She had to be strong enough for them both.
She slid her hand into his once more and they walked into the darkness, not really sure of where to go. They could feel the magic surrounding their camp and were careful not to get too close to the barrier. They finally stopped in a secluded spot, away from the camp and prying eyes.
“Kylee, why do you persist? Don’t you know that I’m dangerous? I am not worthy of your
devotion. I cannot be saved,” he said quietly, swaying on his feet a little. He’d had a lot of wine with dinner.
“It’s never too late to be saved. I like you, Kelindril, a lot. I do not see a dangerous elf. I see
a tortured individual. Someone who has suffered in the distant past and for that reason, cannot let anyone close anymore. I have suffered too and I am just as afraid as you are. But I am willing to take a chance, are you?”
Kelindril didn’t know what to say, he wasn’
t sure he should say anything. He leaned forward, unable to comprehend exactly what he was doing or why. She looked up at him, eyes sparkling in the starlight, and parted her lips. He leaned into her, putting his right hand on her hip and gave a soft tug, pulling her into him. His lips caught her by surprise, as he kissed her tenderly. She kissed him back, scared, but excited. She couldn’t seem to stay away from him; the attraction was too strong. She felt his tongue seeking hers and she welcomed the intimate contact. It had been too long. He kissed her slowly, his tongue thoroughly exploring her mouth.
Somewhere along the way, they ended up on the ground. He lay on top of her, pressing himself into her. She could feel his arousal and she ground her hips into his, needing to feel the sensation. He broke off the kiss to nibble her neck and she wiggled underneath him. In response, he began to thrust his hips, creating an intense friction. When she touched him, he froze, then leaped off her and ran blindly away.
He didn’t care where he ran as long as it was away from her. Damn it! How did he lose control like that? He knew he’d drunk plenty of wine with dinner, but he’d never lost his composure like that before. Why now? Shenna help me, why now? Why can I not get free of these feelings? Take them from me! Banish them, I beg! I don’t want to feel anything for anyone.
Kylee didn’t understand what had happened. He’d wanted her, she knew. She smiled to herself at the memory. His armor was beginning to weaken and she could see the gorgeous, broken elf beneath his protective layers. She wanted to go after him, but didn’t want to spook him further.
Darian saw her and came over immediately. “Are you okay? What happened?” he asked, concern flooding his features.
She flushed at the attention; Darian was exquisite. “I’m fine. Kelindril…” she couldn’t find the words, but the Mage already knew, it seemed.
“Got spooked?” he asked, and she nodded. “How far did you make it?” he asked, waggling his eyebrows and she giggled.
“He kissed me and … somehow, we ended up on the ground. I thought he wanted… I wanted it too, but the moment I touched him, he ran,” she said, sounding hurt.