The Filly & the Gambler (Book Fifteen of Brides of the West Series)

by Rita Hestand

  "They become as one…" she answered him.

  "Yes, that's right. Where did you learn that?"

  "I know it's from the bible. I learned to read and write from it. Ma used to teach me things. So many things…" her voice drifted off.

  "You miss her, don't you?"

  She turned to look at him and there were tears in her eyes. "Every day of my life. But as time goes on, I forget how she looked, things she said. It was so long ago."

  He pulled her against him and held her.

  "If she were here, she'd know the things to tell me, she was a very smart, and good woman."

  "I'm sorry you lost her so young. But Gabby you can always trust me to talk straight with you, about anything. I won't lie to you Gabby. I promise you that."

  She smiled sadly. "I know that."

  "How do you know?"

  She stared into his eyes now, "Because in some strange way, I know you."

  "Gabby," He kissed the top of her head. "Look, sharing things is also part of loving, did you know that."

  "Then what is the difference in love and lust?" She blurted. "How do you know when you are in love?"

  "I'm a greenhorn to love too, Gabby. Haven't really experienced it much. Lust just means you want to be with them, but you don't have to love them. You can let them go easily. When you love, you don't want to let them go."

  "I want to be with you now!" She blurted.

  His gaze steadied on her now. He didn't want to misinterpret what she was saying. "Do you love me?"

  "I'm not sure. I have feelings for you, I know that."

  "Then when you are sure, we will be together." He told her and smiled into her confused face.

  "You don't want to be with me though, do you?"

  He came close, closed his eyes and breathed her in. "Yes, I do, just like you do, but I'm not sure about my feelings either. And if I just took you now, I could hurt you badly. I don't want to hurt you Gabby. You're much too sweet to hurt. I know I like you. I know I’m attracted to you. I just don't know if it's love. You see, strange as it may seem, I've never been in love either. Maybe if your father wasn't in the deal with us, I could say clearly. But he is. And a promise is something I never break, if I can help it. But you…. you are more than a promise, and I know that too. I think it is love, but I want to be sure. I could get you pregnant, of course you know that too, don't you?"

  "Yes, I know that. I've never even gotten that far in my thinking though."

  "Do you want children?" He asked.

  "I've often wondered what it would be like to have children. To hear their laughter, to console them when they cry, nurse them when they are sick. I can't answer right now. But I think I would enjoy them. You are an honest man. I respect that. I think you would be a good father. But it is not something I want to force upon you, like our marriage. There is a lot of wisdom in waiting, I believe that."

  "I agreed to this marriage, Gabby."

  "I know, but that was for my father."

  "That's another problem. With you it's Polly. With me, it's your father. Your father. I don't want your father to be between us forever, Gabby. When the time comes, and I'm pretty sure it will, we'll both know."

  She smiled and nodded. "When you took your shirt off, I couldn't take my eyes from you. The need to touch was so great, I could hardly keep my hands away from you. There is a lot of pleasure in looking. I never realized that."

  "Yeah," His voice sounded throaty now. "Same way when I walked in on you in the tub, I wanted to jerk you up and take you to my bed and make you mine. That reaction is lust. Not love. But it is very enjoyable, for a while. But love is never just in the bedroom, Gabby. It's that feeling you get when you can't wait to see someone. When you just want to hear their voice, feel their kiss."

  "You seem to know a lot about love, even though you say you've never been in love before. Yes, I see the difference, too." She shook her head. "Sometimes I wish I were a whore." She blurted. "Then you could just take me, and I wouldn’t have to decide about loving you."

  His slow smile invaded her thinking. "I'm told love is the most pleasurable thing of all." He turned her chin to meet his scrutiny. "No, you don't want to be a whore. That's no kind of life. A woman like you needs to be loved, and often, but not like a whore."

  "You say such nice things. I like you Cole Martin." She smiled.

  "And I like you too! In fact," he kissed her cheek, "I think one of these days, it's just going to be there, and we'll both know it."

  What he said made her sad that it wasn't there now. But patience was a virtue, and she would have to wait.

  "Thanks for talking to me, I feel better now."

  "But know this, if that feeling is never there, then you are free to get the annulment."

  "Me?" She gasped.

  "You. If you want it."

  He smiled and watched her walk away from him now. He didn't feel better, because he knew that the things, they just shared were very special and he'd never opened to a woman like this before. He'd never been that blatantly honest with anyone before. It scared him and gave him peace at the same time. Love was downright confusing to Cole Martin.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Haywood came over to see Cole about the bounty he offered. "I came to pay you, Cole."

  "For the cat?" Cole chuckled.

  "Why shore…."

  Cole measured the big man with a gentle heart and smiled. He had to be six-foot-four or five, and a good two hundred and some odd pounds, Cole noted. A striking figure of a man, with black hair and brown eyes that sought your soul when he looked at you. He had a deep voice that boomed when he talked. Cole liked him. He was a good neighbor.

  "Now Haywood you know I wouldn't take your money. It was in the best interest of us both that I get that cat. So, put it away, and stay for supper if you've got the time."

  Haywood smiled. "Didn't think you'd take it. But I had to offer."

  Cole chuckled.

  "Well, you cookin' supper Cole?"

  "No, my wife is." Cole told him.

  "Wife? When the hell did you go and get yourself married?" Haywood asked, staring at him as though he'd lost his mind.

  "Not long ago."

  "To who? Polly?"

  "No," Cole frowned as though that was absurd. "A man just doesn't marry a whore, Haywood. And you know that as well as I do that was lust, not love."

  "Well, that's a relief. So, who is she?"

  "Remember ole Harmon?"

  "Yeah…." He drawled waiting for the answer.

  "His daughter."

  "No kidding. I didn't know the old rascal had a daughter. What did he do, hide her out?"

  "You might say that." Cole chuckled.

  "Well, you got my curiosity up now, Cole. I must meet this gal. I can't believe anyone could hog tie you to a wedding." Haywood laughed. "And ole Harmon was full of surprises, wasn't he?"

  "Yeah, that's for sure. The last game we played he bet a filly against the pot. I took him up on it. Turned out the filly was Gabby. He was dying then Haywood. Gabby was part of a bargain, but I think I won out on that one."

  But when Cole took him to meet Gabby, Haywood was on his best manners. Gabby was setting the table and looked up to see Haywood. He startled her him he was so big. "Gabby Gibson, who'd have thought. I don't blame him for hidin' her, she's a beauty. Never seen hair like that before. And I see you grabbed her up fast enough." Haywood smiled at Cole.

  "Thank you. Did you know my father?" Gabby immediately warmed to this man. Haywood was a huge man, several inches taller than Cole, and much wider. He had a friendly face, that smiled a lot. His blonde hair fell across his forehead, and he his dark eyes scrutinized her. Another man that spoke his mind, she decided with a grin.

  "Know him? Everyone in town knew old Harmon. He could tell some of the best stories." Haywood told her. "Some people came to town just to hear him talk."

  She grinned.

  "Set a plate for Haywood, he's staying to supper, Gabby." Cole to
ld her.

  She nodded, warmed by the man's friendly demeanor.

  When he and Haywood went out on the porch to await supper Haywood stared at Cole for a long moment. "My God, I don't blame ole Harmon one bit for keeping her a secret, she's a real beauty. If anyone had known, it could have been bad for the little gal. Women looking as pretty as that don't last long out here."

  "Sure, surprised me. Do you know that gal worked his place for two years alone? Every inch of it too."

  "You don't mean it. Alone?"

  "Yeah, alone." Cole sighed heavily. "She's got some grit to her, Haywood."

  "I didn't think you'd ever settle down Cole." Haywood remarked.

  "There's something about her, Haywood, I can't explain it."

  "Hell, you've done been bitten by the love bug son." Haywood laughed.

  Cole laughed that off. "Is that what it is?"

  "Yeah, I can see it in your eyes when you look at her. I'm kind of glad too. Every man needs to experience love once in their life, Cole. My wife, Hattie, she was a looker too. Took my breath away."

  "You never told me what happened to her?" Cole asked, with a slight frown.

  "Smallpox! She used to try to teach the Indian kids to read and write, well, they had an epidemic and she got it and died. We were married five years, finest woman I ever knew. It's a little bit of heaven to have a good wife, Cole, remember that." Haywood said with a sad smile.

  "I will, thanks Haywood. Why didn't you remarry, if you like marriage so much?"

  "Just couldn't. I knew I'd never find a woman like her again. So, you hold on tight to that little gal, she's got some spunk about her. Just can't believe that ole rascal could hide her out there."

  "He did. Hide is the right word for it too."

  "Well, she's a beauty." Haywood smiled at him. "Kind of like one of those desert roses you hear about."

  She called them in to supper and the boys had already washed up and sat at the table. Haywood saw them all at the table and realized they were invited too.

  She'd cooked a beef stew with plenty of vegetables and cornbread. She always managed to cook enough for them all, Cole mused.

  The men ate up heartily and Cole sat back and realized what a treasure he had as they all talked and laughed together. He'd never known such a quiet peace. Gabby was certainly working out well and fitting in. He was glad. And he knew Pedro would see to her whenever he couldn't. Pedro already watched her with an eagle eye. It tickled Cole that he did.

  "Did you hear about Elkins?" Haywood asked him as they sampled some apple pie after their big supper.

  "No, what about him?"

  "He let a crew of men take his cattle north to Kansas and before they got out of Indian territory, they got anthrax. Had to put them all down. He went busted. I hear he's about to lose his place. You know he's the sort, to never ask for help. Too much pride."

  "My God, I had no idea. How can we help?" Cole didn't hesitate to ask.

  Gabby listened with interest.

  "I've been thinking the same thing. I think I could raise about five hundred myself to help him, if you could pitch in a bit, we could take care of it, so he doesn't lose the place."

  "I can match that. Would it be enough?"

  "Yeah, he doesn't owe much, he's been paying on the place for over ten years. But he'll need a new start."

  "Then let's see what we can do to help him. He'd do it for us."

  "That's the truth."

  The boys all agreed. "We'll go into town tomorrow and see about taking care of that for him." Cole told Haywood. "I'd hate to see him fail and have to move out. He's got three younguns."

  "Yes, he does. I'd forgotten about that."

  "I'm glad I came over. I didn't know you hadn't heard."

  "Well that darn cat had me in knots until I got him. But you know as well as I do, it could have been any one of us." Cole told him.

  From the expression around the table everyone wanted to pitch in and help. Gabby watched them and was proud they would do such a thing for a neighbor. She also marveled that her and her dad had never asked for help. Could pride be a bad thing?

  Later that evening as she sat on the porch steps Cole joined her.

  "Thought I'd find you out here." He smiled and sat down beside her. "I'm gonna have to make us some rocking chairs to sit out here on.

  "I like it out here, the air is cooling for the day, sun is setting making all those pretty colors. I can listen to the crickets and frogs by the creek, watch the grasshoppers jumping, maybe even see a few lightning bugs." She smiled softly.

  "I never used to take the time to see and hear all that." He murmured.

  She glanced at him, her heart pounding just looking at him. "I liked your friend Haywood, and what you are both doing for that man is heartwarming. I mean, the fact that you care." She said. "And the boys too."

  "Out here, a man has to help his neighbor when he gets into trouble. As much as we try, we can't any of us do it alone…"

  "I guess that's true. You know, Dad always thought we could. He was wrong about that. Sometimes we barely made it, but he had too much pride to ask for help. And so, did I…"

  "I wish I'd known…"

  "I don't. The last thing I need is to be beholdin' to you for something like that." She murmured.

  "Honey," he reached to take her hand now, folding his in hers. "Pride is good, sometimes. But you gotta know when to bend it, Gabby." He told her.

  "I bent it a bit, when I married you." She told him.

  He smiled, "Did you?"

  When she didn't say anything, he added. "Sometimes, bending it, isn't as hard when you love someone…." He said and walked off, leaving her wondering exactly what he meant by that.

  She liked her husband, a lot, she decided.

  Chapter Fourteen

  The sun seemed to stretch across the horizon in a million hues of orange, reds, and pinks as it peaked gloriously over the land, lending the day a beautiful glow. Gabby stared up into the open sky, feeling the first peaks of dawn. It was too early, but she loved to see it like this. The creek bed glistened with hints of sunshine to come. Frogs sang a beautiful hello to the day. Grasshoppers scattered as she moved to a favorite spot. The sounds of nature played a welcome melody into her heart. She smiled.

  She walked to the little clearing and sat down on a flattened rock that looked as though it was made for her. She looked out over the land. As far as she knew Cole was still asleep. She wished he was here to enjoy it with her.

  "It's a good place, Lord. I like it here. Maybe too much. I like my husband too. I wasn't expecting too, but he's a good man. I hope you like him too and pour your blessing onto him. Take care of my father, will ya? I miss him more than I can say. And don't forget Martha, she's a nice lady, I like her. Someday I'll find a way to repay her for all the pretty dresses. Bless the hands that work here too as they are hardworking and good men. And last of all, bless all the people that I don't like, bless them too God, for they probably need it. Help me be a better person too and forgive me of my sins. Bless this land, God, it's a good land and if we work it, it can be even better. In Jesus name, I ask you. Amen." She said and smiled.

  "That was nice," came a voice she was quickly getting used to. She liked the sound of his voice, it was deep, but warm too. Today it was just the least bit husky. "Reminds me of how my mother used to pray. She seemed to bless everyone too. I miss that."

  "Oh, I didn't know you were there," she blushed. Seeing him standing there took her breath away for a second. The way he made her feel inside, warmed her now. He cut a fine figure of a man, with his long brown hair that always glistened, and his dark eyes that sparkled just a bit when he smiled.

  Then she tried to distract him. "Tell me about her…" She encouraged.

  "Aw…She was a beautiful woman too, like you, only not with hair that color, her hair was dark brown, and she had eyes that matched, they were the warmest brown. She had a lovely singing voice too. She was strong, fearless like you too,
and independent like you."

  Her eyes twinkled now, "Like me, that's amazing. And your father?"

  "He was a tall, thin man with black hair and the bluest of eyes. Ma use to say his eyes could look right through her. Something like yours. He always had a twinkle in them when my Ma was around. He loved teasing her, making her blush."

  She chuckled, "You take after him."

  He smiled.

  "I don't think anyone has ever prayed for me before." He cleared his throat as though her words had affected him more than she'd realized.

  "I always pray for others, along with myself. I figure maybe he hears if more people speak up about each other." She looked off at the glow of the morning. "This is such a pretty place."

  "It is nice here. Never really stopped to enjoy it though, until now." He smiled at her. "You found this place all by yourself?"

  "Yes, I like to wander about the pastures." She told him. "You have a lot of property, I guess it's hard sometimes to appreciate it all. I doubt you have much time to appreciate it." She stood up now and looked at him. "Well, I better get back, I need to get Sunday dinner going."

  "You don't have to rush." He grabbed her hand to pull her back. "Everyone takes it easy on Sunday, some go to church, others get together with their families." He stared at her now. His eyes drifted over her, like a water runs over rocks. "I like talking to you Gabby."

  She felt tongue-tied for a moment. "Thanks," she finally managed shyly. "And you, what do you do on Sunday's?" She asked curiously.

  "I take it easy, relax a little. Sometimes I go fishing or do things I don't have much time for, like polish my saddle, curry the horses, clean the stalls." He said softly, his eyes going over her. "And sometimes, I stare at a pretty woman. I sure like that dress on you."

  "I thought I'd wear it on Sunday's. Dad always said Sunday's were special."

  "Good, I'll look forward to seeing it on you." He told her.

  "Are you trying to charm me?" She teased gently.

  "Is it working?"

  "Yes…" she admitted quietly with a soft laugh.