by Rita Hestand
"He was being gentle with you. But a man wants his woman, it's natural." Martha explained.
"I know you got the best of intentions. I really do, but until we have the forever after kind of love, I don't see us sleeping together. I'm not sure I'm ready for it. I'm not sure I'd be enough for him. He's had an expert sleep with him."
"You're talking about Polly, aren't you?"
"Well, it's a known fact they slept together."
"Not since the two of you hooked up. And a man isn't responsible for his youth. Besides, Polly lacked one thing that I think you have."
"Oh, what on earth could that be?"
"Feelings for him. That's what. She never was in love with Cole."
Gabby whirled around and stared at her. "I never had feelings for a man before. All I know is when he kisses me, I go to mush, my knees won't support me, and I just follow his lead. He's a good kisser, Martha."
Martha laughed, "Yes ma'am, you're in love alright. You ever been with a man?"
"No, never."
"I understand, but there is a time for it, and I think you've reached that time. You are his wife you know, and that makes it alright."
"But what if I'm not as good? What if he takes me and then regrets it?"
"Well child, if you give in to your feelings, I don't think he'll regret it a bit. In fact, I'd bet on him wanting you even more. You see the one thing Cole hasn't had, is a woman that really loves him."
"Oh but…"
"Don't you dare try to deny it, with me, honey. I see it in your eyes. At the dinner table, you could hardly take your eyes from him. You're in love with him. And unless I'm reading things wrong, he's in love with you."
"He's never said so…."
"No, and neither have you!"
"Well, don't you think it's the man's place to say such things?" Gabby asked, red-faced again.
"Usually, yes, but in this case, I'm not so sure. Cole is handling you with kid gloves. He doesn't want to push you too much. He doesn't want to crowd your thinking. I think he's waiting on you to decide if you want him."
"Want him? Of course, I want him Martha. I've never wanted anything as much, but I'm not sure I'm good enough for him. I have no experience in making love. And it isn't something you can just get somewhere."
"At this point you got nothing to lose. Absolutely nothing."
"I've never depended on a man, except dad. And that was more him depending on me."
"Maybe it's time you did."
"I'll think on it."
"Don't wait too long. And Gabby, since your mother is gone, I feel I need to tell you. The first time, they have to break the barrier, and it might hurt a little, but if you love him you won't mind so much. You'll bleed. And don't be afraid, as it is natural. I'm only telling you because you don't have anyone to tell you about it. I don't want you to be afraid. Just clean up later and love him with all your heart."
"I'll remember," she stared at her then grabbed her to her and kissed her cheek. "Thank you for telling me about it."
"I feel like we are family Gabby, and I want you to be prepared."
She hugged her again. "I love you Martha."
"See, you can say the words." Martha chuckled.
The one thing Gabby wasn't sure about, was the fact that Martha was a whore and whores usually got what they wanted. She was afraid to be too aggressive, afraid she'd scare him off.
Why did men and women play such games?
"Martha, my mother and father loved each other, dearly. I want what they had. I'm just not sure that Cole wants the same. I mean, it would probably bore him to death."
"Bore him? Having a woman that really cared for him, be with him. Honey, that's wrong thinking. Some men don't know they want it, until they got it. You gotta be bold, honey. You gotta take a gamble on him. If you think he's worth it." Martha chuckled. "And you come from gambling stock. Harmon made the biggest wager in his life, when he put you in a bet. Question is, do you think Cole is worth your love."
"He's worth it! That much I know. He'd have never married me if he weren't worth it."
"Then don't be too shy!" Martha advised and turned away. "And when he does begin to make love with you, you give him everything you got to give inside you. Don't hold back anything. That's how it's supposed to be girl. Love as hard as you work."
"I know a woman shouldn't just lay there and take it, Martha. That she participates. Still, I've never done it. I'm afraid he'll decide Polly is much better. And if I let him, it would hurt if he ran back to Polly."
"Child, you don't understand. Polly didn't give him the one thing you can!" Martha chuckled.
"What's that?" Gabby asked.
"Love! It's just that simple. Love, darlin', love!"
"I wish there were lessons you could take on being a woman, Martha."
"You don't need lessons child. Let your heart lead you and you'll do fine."
"I'm scared."
"Of what?"
"I don't know really. Just kind of scared."
"Are you scared of him?"
"Oh no! Of myself. What if I like it too much?"
Martha laughed now a belly laugh. "Listen to me girl, let nature take its course, it's never wrong. Even God knows how you feel, that he is your husband. So, love him with all your might."
"I've got to think on it a while, Martha. And build my courage up."
"Well, just don't take too long girl."
"Why?"
"Any man strays when he knows there is no love to be had."
Gabby stared at her and a soft blush crept up her cheeks.
"I'll remember, and thanks. There's no other woman I could talk to like this. No other woman that wouldn't laugh in my face. I love you, Martha."
Martha hugged her, and looked above her, "Thank you Lord for sending her to me."
The women joined the men on the porch and Slim was leaning against the porch railing talking to Cole about the cattle.
When Martha came out on the porch, hand in hand with Gabby, Slim couldn't take his eyes off her.
"Gonna have a good year this year Cole?" Martha asked as she joined them.
"Hope to yes. Got a pretty good herd."
"Haven't seen you in a while, Slim." Martha glanced at the foreman.
Cole had never noticed that Slim and Martha had been friending a long time. In fact, he climbed those stairs with her a few times. But there was something more, he noted when he watched how easily they spoke with one another. Slim was about Martha's age and they really enjoyed each other's company. It was different than most cowboys going up the stairs. Slim liked Martha more than he let on. Cole knew him well enough to see that. Funny, he'd never noticed before.
"Been kind of busy Martha." Slim reddened.
"Martha, Gabby wants you to come out every Sunday, if you can." Cole told her.
"Really?" She glanced at Gabby who was staring out at the stars now.
"Will you?" Gabby asked softly.
"Of course, I'd love to. For one, I love your cooking," Then a tear lodged in her eye, "And I haven't felt so close to being a family in a very long time." Martha smiled a tear in her eye. "I guess I should get back now."
"Slim would you drive Miss Martha back to town?" Cole asked him. "I'd kind of enjoy some time with Gabby."
Slim nodded, "Be happy to, boss."
As they left, Cole joined Gabby on the steps and was smiling as he stared at the two of them leaving.
"What do you know."
Gabby looked at him, "What?"
"Didn't you see it?"
"What?" She frowned.
"Those two. They like each other." Cole smiled with satisfaction.
"Slim and Miss Martha?"
"The same. They been making eyes at each other all during the meal. I never noticed before. Maybe we'll have to play cupid with them." Cole laughed.
"They are both good people." Gabby remarked.
"Very good people." He smiled at her
"Do you think anything will come
of it?" Gabby asked. "I mean her being what she is?"
"If we give it a nudge, maybe." Cole chuckled. "And Gabby, Miss Martha is a lady too."
"I know that." Gabby snapped. "I love her to death."
He turned, and he stared at her. "Did the two of you have a good visit?"
"Of course, we did." She snapped again.
"I didn't mean to annoy you." He said gently.
She stood up and walked out into the yard, staring up at the stars.
When he didn't say any more, she apologized. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be rude."
"Something bothering you?" He asked, coming to stand behind her.
"Just got a lot of thinking to do, is all." She murmured.
"Oh, about what?"
She turned now and stared into his eyes, "About us."
"You unhappy here, Gabby?"
"No," she whirled back to look at him. He was so close now.
"I guess I never asked, but do you want an annulment?" He asked. "I mean, is that what this is about?"
"No," she said quite simply, without hesitation.
He reached to pull her chin up with the crook of a finger, so he could stare into her eyes. "Then what's bothering you?"
"Nothing…" She stared into his eyes and her knees nearly buckled. The look he was giving her nearly melted her on the spot. How could she possibly make love, when all she did was melt?
"I think I'll go to bed now. Goodnight." She ran away, and he stared after her a long time.
He wished she'd open up and tell him what was bothering her.
Chapter Sixteen
The next day Cole decided it was time to teach Gabby to ride.
Since Martha had included a riding skirt and blouse with the dresses, Gabby dressed accordingly.
He had Pedro bring out a beautiful champagne colored horse, that Gabby couldn't take her eyes off.
"He's a five-year-old gelding, A Tennessee Walker, one of the best riding horses I have. He knows all the trails. He's sure footed and he won't run off with you if he senses you don't know the way. If something were to happen to you, I wouldn't have to worry, he'd stay with you. He's loyal as he can be. He's got a calm nature about him, not prone to act up even with a beginning rider. So, don't be afraid of him." Cole told her as they approached the beautiful horse.
"What's his name?" She asked going straight up to him and petting him. The horse seemed to respond to her the minute she touched him and spoke soft words in his ear.
"We call him Dodger, he'll dodge chugholes better than any horse we have. Hence the name…" He smiled as he hoisted her up.
Pedro brought Cole's mount too. A black stallion with a bit of character about him.
"This is Lightning. He's fast and steady."
"He's pretty too."
"We'll make a few rounds as soon as Pedro adjusts your stirrups."
Pedro came over and shortened the stirrups and patted the horse. "Enjoy your ride, senora."
"Thanks Pedro." She smiled.
From the moment she began to ride, she felt an immediate bonding with the horse. As though he instinctively knew she was new to riding and had the greatest respect for her.
She pet him as she rode and talked to him some.
Cole watched her. "Hey, you are pretty good."
"I like all animals." She told him.
"That's nice to know." He smiled at her.
She didn't have one issue with him and before their ride was over, Cole was sure that the two of them would be good friends.
"He's yours," Cole said as they dismounted after riding a good piece.
"Mine?" She shrieked.
"He suits you." He told her.
"Well, at least let me pay you for him."
"No…you're my wife, and as such if I want to give you something. I didn't have a wedding ring for you for our wedding. The least I can do is give you a horse."
She studied him as he took off his bedroll and spread a blanket on the ground.
Her eyes were glued to the blanket for a moment. It seemed such an intimate thing.
He surprised her with a basket of food too.
"We're having a picnic…"
She stared, "You planned this?"
"Well, I haven't been spending much time with you, thought it might be nice." He said nonchalantly.
Pedro had made ham sandwiches for them.
She sat down on the blanket and waited for him to join her. He hobbled the horses and brought the food.
"I don't think I've ever had a picnic." She told him.
"Really, well, I just thought it might be nice for us to enjoy each other's company for a while. So, what do you think of your horse?"
"I love him. He does have a good disposition." She glanced at the horse and smiled. "And I love his coloring, he's beautiful."
"I won't have to worry about you, as long as you ride him."
"I've been taking care of myself for a long time now." She told him, her voice going raspy as she looked straight into his dark eyes. Big mistake!
"Yeah, but you don't have to now. That's my job." He whispered and suddenly he was kissing her for all she was worth. This kiss was different, it came out of nowhere and destroyed all her defenses. She felt suddenly boneless. But she responded like a wildfire had taken hold of her this time. Instead of backing away, she moved toward and let him have his leave with her. They were laying on the blanket and quite suddenly she was in his arms and he raised his head for a moment and his hand stroked her cheek gently.
Then suddenly he stood up and backed away, "We better get back."
Flushed, confused, and floundering for reasons, she stood too, her hands on her hips. "I knew it."
"Knew what?" He barked.
"Martha told me to quit fighting it and give into it, and when I did, it was too much. You think me a hussy…"
He came toward her with a purpose, and the sexiest grin she'd ever seen on a man. "No…no I don't. I just know myself a little better. Just now…I wanted you."
She let a shy smile cross her lips, "You did?"
"I sure as hell did!" He exclaimed as he gathered the blanket in one grab and rolled it up and threw it on the back of the horse. He was berating himself and not even looking at her now. "I could have taken you right there, Gabby. But that's no way to treat a woman, a lady." He whirled around on the heel of his boots and stared into her smiling face.
She moved boldly closer to him, "Yeah, but…I'm your wife. At least…. I want to be…." She knew she sounded bold, but it was time. The time was right, and she knew it. If she didn't say it now, she wouldn't.
Confusion lined his face for a second. "You mean that?"
"Don't you think it's time…. I mean…. I am your wife, aren't I?" She said again with a shy smile.
"I don't understand, yesterday you seemed upset with me." He asked as he practically stopped breathing.
She nodded. "Not with you, with me."
He pulled her into his arms and kissed her again, again she responded wildly. He pulled away slowly, "We have to get back…"
"Yes…." She agreed.
He stared into her eyes.
Without a word, he helped her up on her horse and he mounted, and they rode in a faster pace than before.
As they neared the barn, no one was around. They dismounted and took the horses inside. But the minute he turned loose of the horse, he grabbed her and kissed her again. The kiss went on forever, melding them into one huge heap of desire.
He pulled away slowly, staring in her eyes, then suddenly, he scooped her up in his arms, carried her to the loft and laid her down on the soft hay.
"I can't wait until we get to the house. I want you now."
"Yes," she agreed, her breathing so irregular, she had to catch her breath.
He kissed her wildly for that admission.
"I shouldn't take you like this…" he scolded himself as he came up for air.
"It's perfect, I want you to take me…. right here, right now…"she declared
boldly staring into his dark eyes that gleamed down at her. "I'm not sure I could walk to the house anyway." She smiled. "Your kisses make my knees buckle."
"But last night you seemed angry…." He whispered as his lips trailed down her neck.
"I was trying to decide how to let you know, I was ready…. that's all." She smiled again. "I couldn't find the right words. And I was afraid you'd think me too bold."
"If I'd have known that, I would have followed you," he whispered once more, his lips doing disturbing things as he kissed every inch of her.
"The day you stared at me in the tub?" She began breathless from his arousing kisses. "I couldn't hardly stand up I was so weak from the look in your eyes."
"Boy, I wanted you then…."
"You did?" She shrieked with joy.
"Of course, I did. Your beautiful, you know." He kissed her lips once more. "Every inch of you. Oh, at the days I spent trying to get that picture of you out of my head."
"Get it out?" She pouted.
He laughed, "Only because I was barely able to work on those days. Thinking of you like that."
He began undoing her blouse, as his lips made a trail down her neck and onto her shoulder as he pushed the garment away.
He didn't stop kissing her all over until she was completely undressed, and then he stared. She didn't have to ask what he was thinking, as his eyes sparkled like diamonds into hers.
She undid his shirt and pushed it aside. Her lips made a line down his chin, and around his neck, pushing his long hair away, her fingers running through it. "I love your hair." She murmured.
"You do?"
"It's always so clean looking, and long and straight." She whispered just before her lips surrounded his tight-fisted nipple.
He jerked against her, "You little minx."
She chuckled the sound of her voice, soft and lingering.
He'd remember that chuckle forever.
He helped her shed his boots and clothes and suddenly their bodies joined. A sweet line of sweat lay between them, making their bodies shine and slip smoothly against each other.
His mouth found her breasts and while his lips and tongue danced over one, his hand coddled the other, his thumb busily prompting the nipple to respond. Her nipples were a perfect dusty rose.
Her breasts were small, but like protruding hills with such a luscious point to them.