by Stacey Lynn
Heck, if everyone wasn’t so busy right now, I’d call up some of the Ice Kings who I’ve had the pleasure of getting to know. I’d love to hit up a music bingo night.
Music? Bingo? Prizes? I am so in.
“Besides,” I tease Steve. “Isn’t Bingo something all you old farts like to play? I know you have a few lucky trolls hidden somewhere in your house. Let me guess, you bring your own stampers and everything.”
“What? Are you… you can’t be…” he blusters through a series of threats while I laugh, winking at my dad. “Did you just call me an old fart?”
I shrug and fill him a fresh drink. “If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck…”
“I changed your diapers.”
“And I am thankful for that. Anything else you need?”
“Yes,” Steve grumbles. “For you to go back to the age before you could speak. That was fun.”
Dad and I laugh and with my glass of lemon water, I tap it against Steve’s glass. “Love you, Steve.”
“Even though I’m an old fart?”
“Especially because you are.” I kiss his cheek and turn to Dad.
He’s been silent while I share my ideas with Steve.
He’s not entirely sold on these ideas either, but while he still owns George’s, he’s letting me begin making the decisions. That way, once I officially take over when I’m ready, I’ll know exactly what to do. We’ve agreed that can be anytime between today and after the baby’s born, whenever I’m ready for the full responsibility.
For now, outside looking for the future, I’m in immediate need of another bartender so he and Dom can alternate nights and weekends giving me a break and more time with Sebastian once their season ends.
Which I’m hoping isn’t until late next week when they finally win the Cup.
They have game four later tonight in Vegas. Sebastian’s been quiet since their loss the other night and has been ultra-focused. I have plans with a bunch of the girlfriends and wives to watch it at Mikah and Paisley’s place. Mostly, I plan on hogging Debbie’s new little boy all night.
The door opens to the bar and I face it, ready to serve whoever would wander in here this early and my jaw drops.
“Hey! What are y’all doing here?”
As if I’ve summoned them, Debbie, Paisley, and Katie saunter in, purses thrown over their shoulders, dressed to kill in their Ice Kings shirts and jerseys with jeans or shorts.
“You’re in a good mood,” Katie strangely says.
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
Paisley’s gaze slides to Debbie and then Katie. An eerie sensation prickles the back of my neck.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong,” Katie says too fast. Much too fast.
The way her gaze slips to Debbie and then Paisley makes that prickle at my neck heighten and slide down my spine. “What is it?”
“You don’t get Google Alerts for Sebastian?” Debbie asks, even more weirdly.
“Uh. No. Why would I?”
“I have an alert set for the Ice Kings.”
I glance at Paisley and Katie. “Is this normal? For everyone?”
“I have one for Jude,” Katie says. “But I don’t really pay attention. Debbie thrives on gossip though.”
“So, why would Google Alerts put me not in a good mood?”
“Because of this.” Debbie grabs her phone and types in her password. While looking at her screen and flipping through something on her phone she says, “But I figured you would have already seen it, so really we came to make sure you were okay.”
She hands me the phone and I’m already reaching for it. What I see makes my brows pull together.
“Who is this?”
In the photos she’s pulled up, there’s Sebastian. He’s in a restaurant with chandeliers and wearing a dress shirt and I assume his dress pants. He would have worn a suit to the game the other night. And in his arms? A stunningly beautiful woman with red hair.
“It’s Madison,” Katie says, lowering her voice. “She’s in Vegas.”
“What?” Something cold falls like a rock in my stomach. “She’s there?”
“Or she was the other night. Like I said,” Debbie says, voice softening to a tone I don’t like. It reeks of pity. “I didn’t know if you’d seen it, so we wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“I haven’t seen it.”
And I’ve talked to Sebastian several times since then. He’s had opportunities to tell me he saw his ex-wife. He’s had chances to tell me he hugged her. Kissed her.
God. I see it. His lips at the top of her head, her holding him tightly. The way her manicured fingernails are digging into his biceps. The upturn of his lips on her skin. It’s burned now into my brain, and I see it when I close my eyes. The image of Sebastian. Kissing. Another woman—a woman who he was married to up until only a few months ago.
And it’s a woman he’s been in love with since he was fifteen.
He’s had tons of time to tell me he saw her when he called.
Is this why he’s been quiet?
“I…” I shake my head, try to gather my thoughts. “He didn’t say anything.” And I hate the tremor in my voice.
The emotions bubbling. The fear. The worry.
“Why wouldn’t he tell me?”
I glance up and jolt. I’ve practically forgotten they were there, and when I see the concern lining their eyes, that rock in my stomach turns to something sour.
“I think I’m going to throw up.”
I drop the phone to the bar and hurry to the restrooms. My stomach churns and my hand goes to my stomach.
Oh God.
I fling open the stall door and drop down to a squat.
Sebastian’s now having a child. His child. What’s stopping him from going back to Madison and having everything he could possibly want? The woman he loves and his own, flesh and blood, child.
“I’m so sorry, Gigi. I didn’t… I didn’t think this would upset you so much.” It’s Debbie and I barely register her presence in the bathroom until the stall behind me opens and a hand rests on my back. “I wasn’t thinking, but when I saw the photo, I just wanted to make sure you were okay. If I would have thought you hadn’t known I wouldn’t have done this.”
“It’s fine.” I croak like a frog. There’s nothing in my stomach to throw up, but I’m dizzy and that sour ball in my stomach grows and thickens.
“It might not be what it looks like. I wasn’t trying to jump to conclusions about anything, honest, I just thought you should know.”
“He didn’t tell me. We’ve talked for hours. That night after the game. He’s been quiet, but I just figured it’s the game. My God.”
I fall back and rest my ass on the floor, knees bent, back to the wall.
Debbie crouches down in front of me and sighs. “Maybe it’s nothing.”
I drop my head back to the wall and close my eyes. “That night he got the divorce papers? It was New Year’s. He came here and got so trashed. So drunk I had to haul him upstairs and he passed out on my bed.” I don’t know how much he’s told the team, but I haven’t said a word about that night until now. “It wasn’t even six months ago. And he’s told me he’s loved her since he was fifteen. Why else would she be there if she didn’t want him back?”
“That doesn’t mean he’ll go back.”
I shrug, unable to think that’s a possibility. I’ve seen the way he looks when he’s talked about her. Wanting her to be happy. And us? We were supposed to be easy. Maybe me getting pregnant made both of us think things that weren’t real… or at least him.
Because if I didn’t know before now, the way my heart is shattering into pieces inside my chest, teaches me one thing… I’ve gone and fallen in love with a guy who might not actually be mine.
“What am I going to do?”
“I’d say drink, but since you’re pregnant and don’t like alcohol, that’s probably not a good idea.”
“No.” I laugh qui
etly. “Probably not.”
“Then take the afternoon off. Come hang out with us. Watch the game and trust that when Sebastian gets back tomorrow, you two will figure everything out.”
“Right. I’m sure we will. But no offense, I’m not all that excited about the game anymore.”
“I know.” She stands and holds out her hand. Pulling me to my feet, she tugs me toward her and hugs me. “I know you’re right. But a night with friends always helps.”
“Maybe.”
Except if Sebastian is going back to Madison, I’ll lose my new friends, too. And that sucks. I was starting to really like them.
“What are you doing here, anyway? Where’s Max?”
Maximus is the cutest and she just had him a couple weeks ago. She should be home, resting. “He’s at Paisley’s. Her parents are in town, so they’re watching Max and Angelo.”
It’s another close game, the game tied at four with only a few minutes left. The game is so brutal, Sebastian’s already been in two fistfights, complete with helmets and gloves tossed to the ground before being separated. Both Jason and Sawyer have also spent time in the penalty box, and I’ve lost track of how many goals they’ve tried to make that Vegas’s goalie has stopped.
You can practically feel the frustration pouring off the Ice Kings players as they line up for another face-off down on their side of the ice.
It’s so similar to the last game, I’ve chewed off half of my fingernails. Katie and Paisley don’t look any more relaxed.
“Come on,” Debbie says, leaning forward. She’s quiet due to the fact Max apparently really likes to eat, so even though I agreed to come tonight, I’ve barely been able to hold the little guy.
She did, however, give me the honors of changing a blow-out diaper, laughing while telling me I need to get used to it.
That was an hour ago, and he’s been on her boob ever since, sleeping while suckling.
It’s the cutest and oddest thing I’ve ever seen. Gross, poopy diaper that went all the way up his backside, it only makes me more excited about what’s to come, despite my nerves about Sebastian.
I’m focusing on the game, not on later. Not on what will happen tomorrow. Debbie and Paisley both made excellent points.
It might be nothing.
It could be everything.
I won’t know until I know and the stress won’t be good for me, so I’m trying to enjoy Paisley’s parents who hover over the babies like they’re made of the finest glass. My time with my new friends.
And biting my lip as Vegas gets the face-off, skates down the rink. Jason catches up to him, shoves him into the boards where Mikah gets the puck back and under control. He flings it over to Jude, up to Sawyer.
We’re all on the edge of the couch watching, counting down the last minute while men get shoved aside, knocked off their skates, pushed into boards. It goes from a Vegas player to a King, back and forth, and finally, with less than a minute to go, Jude gets a hold of the puck, pulls back and slams it at the goalie. Who misses it go through the far top corner of the goal.
“Score!” all the girls shout. I cry out too, clapping, with the rest of them.
They can do this.
They can win it all.
The question is… what will I end up with?
Chapter Thirty
Sebastian
This series is a killer. We’re tied at two and two, heading back to Charlotte for another game tomorrow. Traveling is the worst part during playoffs. Two games here, two games there, and then every other one until the series is over, back and forth through time zones.
It forces everyone, exhausted at the end of an already long season, to push through all the pain and discover our mettle.
How strong are we really?
Add in all the emotional and family problems I’ve had this season and when I pull into my driveway, Gigi’s Jeep Wrangler bright blue and in the driveway already here, I almost don’t care if we win any more games.
I’m bone-weary tired, in need of a long, hot bath to soak my muscles and a few hours in the sauna to sweat the rest out. I need a night of quiet, curled up with Gigi on my couch, listening to her tell me about her week and grin as she excitedly prattles on about her plans for the bar.
God.
Yes.
This. This is what I’ve been missing for so long—excitement in my veins at coming home. Gigi gives me this in a way that’s effortless and easy to hope it can be forever. I want that. With her.
I might not have known it until early this week, but sitting across from Madison, mourning what I had for the last night, it took that moment to show me what I have now, and what I will have in the future.
Gigi is laughter and love and adventure, and she’s all mine in a way I want to keep her there.
Which means I park my car in the garage, hit the button to shut the door and enter the drop zone where I drop my suitcase and kick off my sandals, intent on finding her so I can tell her all of it.
Everything I feel for her.
“Gigi,” I call out, stepping into the kitchen, already searching for her.
She’s at the couch, standing as I enter and my grin, all the things I feel for her and want to say crash to a slamming halt when I see the look in her eyes.
“What is it?” I ask, hurrying to her.
To my utter shock, she steps back, hands clasped together. We talked last night and everything was fine, outside her being tired.
Or was it?
“What’s wrong?”
“How was your trip?” She stresses the word trip with a look.
She saw the games. It takes a second for it to click.
I take a step back, a cool fist gripping deep inside my chest cavity. “Did Tessa call you?”
She tilts her head to the side. Face blank. No. She’s not void right now. She’s hurt. I’ve done that by not telling her I saw Madison. “Interesting that’s your response.”
“I didn’t think you’d find out.”
And ouch. She flinches and I feel that pain lash so deep so quick I’m already apologizing for that. “Shitty. That was shitty and sounds bad. It was nothing. For me, Gigi, it was absolutely nothing.”
Tears wet her eyes and she nods, pressing her lips together. She pulls up her phone and holds it out.
“This doesn’t look like nothing.”
I don’t want to see the damn photos. But now I know it wasn’t Tessa. Which I should have known. She probably would have assumed I told Gigi right away, which in hindsight, I should have done. Mostly I wanted to push Madison’s visit out of my mind.
“What did she want?” Gigi asks, still holding out the phone. “Because I’ve been trying, trying to trust what you’re telling me right now, but I have to tell you it’s difficult considering the way you’re looking at her, and knowing how much you love her.”
“I don’t love her. Not in that way. Not anymore.”
Screw this. Seriously, screw this. I take the phone from Gigi’s hand, glance at the photos and cringe. It does look bad, but I know why she’s insecure and worried right now.
Because I haven’t been honest with her in a long time.
“What did she want?” she repeats.
I toss her phone to the couch. While she watches it fly through the air, I’m there in her space, hands to her cheeks, forcing her to tilt her head up and look at me.
“Listen to me, Gigi.”
“What did she want?”
“Don’t do this. Please, just listen to me—”
“What—”
Fine. “She says she made a mistake and she wants me back.”
She jolts at that, which I expected, so I hold her tight, not allowing her to break from my hold on her. “You wanted to know.” Frustration leeches through my tone. “I didn’t tell you because it’s not happening. It didn’t matter. It was hard to see her. Hard to listen to that and not be able to give her what she wants—”
“Because of the baby?”
God. Is
that really the kind of man she thinks I am? She’s hurt. I get it. I know she doesn’t think that of me, does she? That I’m only with her because of the baby? “No. Not because of the baby. Because of you. Because Madison chose to walk away from me and when I was at my worst, you were there, and when I started accepting she was gone, it was you I wanted to spend time with. And maybe I should apologize for not telling you about Madison, but yeah, I didn’t think you’d know. At least not before I could get home and we could talk about it because I would tell you, but because I walked away and pushed it out of my mind. It was never going to happen, Gigi. And mostly that’s because it wasn’t until I was sitting across from Madison that I realized how crazy in love with you I am.”
“What?” Her eyes widen and lips part.
If I wasn’t so frustrated with myself for not telling her sooner, or for her not trusting me more, I’d kiss away the stunned look on her face.
“Yes. You. I love you and I should have figured that out sooner so I could tell you so you weren’t standing here now doubting me, but make no mistake, it’s you I’m in love with. Madison is my past. You, and our family we’re making, you will be my future and I want that.”
She blinks rapidly and tears fall down her cheeks. I swipe them away quickly.
“I would think you’d want that for me, Gigi. Madison might have flown to Vegas for other reasons, but I have full closure. I firmly, permanently, was able to close the door to my relationship with Madison the other night in a way I have no regrets.”
“I’m sorry,” she says, chin trembling. “The girls came to the bar and showed me and then I was so worried and went crazy… and well… I don’t think I realized how much I love you until I saw them and it hurt. Seeing you holding and kissing another woman hurt.”
“It will never happen again. This I promise you.” It takes a beat. Then two for what she said to me to settle in. “You love me?”
“Of course I do.”
For the first time since I walked into my home, her eyes are shining.
I grin down at her. “Did you hear me say I love you?”
“Yeah.” Finally, she grins. A laugh bubbles from her. “Although I wasn’t expecting that, so you might have to repeat it.”