“Not yet. And frankly I don’t know if it would even make a difference, but it strengthens me and right now I’ll just have to be strong enough for the two of us.”
“I’ll come over tomorrow, Robert. I’ll plan everything. See you then.”
“Thanks Liv. I really appreciate it.”
* * *
“You are Strong. You are Fearless. Your baby girl will be okay. I’m here protecting you both along the way.”
I immediately jolt up out of a deep sleep. I’m in bed with Robert pleasantly asleep next to me. My chest rises and falls as if I’ve just run a marathon. Could it really be true? A little girl? Gram? She said she would always be with us, but had I really fallen so low that I was seeking confirmation from a ghost? I wanted it to be true, more than anything I wanted to believe this time would be different, but I believed that with each pregnancy, and suffered with each loss. Why now?
I was once again facing an insurmountable amount of fear and I hated who I had turned into over the last week. Afraid to move, afraid to eat, afraid to live. This wasn’t me, and I wanted me back. “Robert,” I whisper, trailing my fingers tips up along his exposed spin, his back muscles twitching as his body shifts.
“Hmm,” he sleepily grunts.
“Robert wake up.”
He rolls to his side and pry’s apart his eyelids. “Huh, everything alright?”
“I had a dream, Robert. We’re having a little girl.” My voice is shaky as the words make their way across my trembling lips and into existence.
“Oh good. She told you,” he says groggily. His paper weight of an arm wraps around me and pulls me back down to the mattress and close to his side.
“Wait. What? You knew? But how?”
Delicate, tender kisses float over my shoulder as his hand rest low on my stomach. “Gramps told me.” I feel his smile pressed against my goose bumped skin.
“Am I crazy for believing in a ghost?”
“I don’t think we have a choice P. But if believing in ghosts make you crazy, then I’m right there with you.”
“I’m sorry I’ve been such a mess the last few days.”
“You have nothing to apologize for, princess. Let’s just enjoy this time. No more running scared. We’ll move the ultrasounds to once a week and you will live. And speaking of Liv, she’s coming over today for you.”
“Really? Why?”
“Because I wanted you to have some fun. I knew spending time with her would take your mind off of things.”
I roll over in Robert’s arms, my lips find the curvature of his neck, and I slowly begin placing open mouth kisses down his throat, nipping at him every so often, my sex brushing against him as he hardens between my legs. “I can think of another way I’d like to have fun,” I whisper seductively against his rough jaw line; days of growth have almost turned into a rough beard. I push against him until he’s flat on his back and find my perch atop him. An innocent yet mischievous smirk tugs at the corners of his lips.
“Pres, the doctor said—”
“And Gram said everything will be okay.”
He reaches up to cup my face, his hands pulling me down to him, capturing my mouth with his. I suddenly squeal and giggle at his quick actions, and the sound I make shocks me. Over the years, I had almost forgotten what genuine laughter sounded like.
“I love you, Pres.”
“And I love you too.” I settle against him and drink in the warm comfort that his body exudes. His hands run the length of my back and with each pass my anxiety seems to lessen.
“We’re getting away this weekend. I think we both need it.”
“I couldn’t agree more.”
Chapter Three
The next morning Liv and Jax come over for breakfast. Liv seems unsure of herself, almost as if she doesn’t know what to say or how to act right now.
“Sooo, how are things?”
My eyes flit to Robert who is busy in the kitchen, there’s a reason he’s avoiding eye contact, I know it. “Liv, I know you know I’m pregnant.”
A whooshing of air pushes through her lips, “Oh thank God!”
I laugh at her sigh of relief; I should have tortured her a little longer.
“I didn’t know if I should say anything or if you wanted to tell me first, but Robert called last night, and—ahhh!” She yells through clenched teeth, waving her hands in the air in excitement.
“Breathe, Liv. Breathe.”
Three deep breaths and she has returned to normal. “So, be honest with me, how are you feeling?”
We take a seat on the couch while Jax runs to the kitchen to help Robert. “I’m good. I mean the last week I was an absolute mess, but I’m good now. The whole thing with Gram is a little strange I’ll admit, but I’m oddly calm and feeling reassured about everything.”
“Eggs anyone?” Robert calls from the kitchen.
Liv and I both say we’ll take some while Jax sits on the counter shaking his head.
“The baby doesn’t like eggs.”
Liv and I look at each other and grin. “Jax, do you know how cute you are?” I say with a giggle.
“Mommy tells me wall the time, but I still like hearing it.”
“Sure you do, buddy” Robert says with a smirk as he brings plates of breakfast into the living room for all of us. I can't help but laugh at the interaction between Robert and Jax and I begin thinking of our little girl and the kind of relationship she’ll have with him. I watch as Robert messes with Jackson’s hair and then stare at the plate sat before me. The sight, mixed with the aroma of the fluffy yellow things on my plate, immediately has me excusing myself as I’m overwhelmed with a sense of nausea.
I can hear Jax’s angelic, “Told ya,” as I dash for the nearest toilet. Robert comes in behind me and rubs my back while holding my hair. “Do you want me to call Dr. Ward?” he asks, slightly concerned, but I shake my head while wiping my mouth.
I’d never experienced morning sickness before, possibly a result of the prenatal prescriptions I was on. Maybe my body was finally taking to the pregnancy. Maybe this really was it. “It’s probably just morning sickness.” I can feel the stretch of my smile and I know I must be practically beaming. She’s still there.
He hands me a wet washcloth as I sit against the wall and kisses my nose before heading back out to Liv and Jax. “I’ll get rid of the eggs,” he chuckles.
“And find out what else baby girl doesn’t like,” I call after him just as a second wave of nausea hits me.
Liv and I spend the rest of the morning looking through design books, cutting out pictures and attaching our finds to a vision board. Paint colors, wallpaper, and fabric are haphazardly placed here and there with different crib options and matching furniture. I hadn’t felt the urge to design anything in years, and it felt good being creative again. I never once let myself think of a nursery, but now I had a guardian angel; I had Gram. “Thanks Liv. I really needed this.”
“I know you did, and I’m so excited for the both of you. Anytime you need cheering up you just call your Fairy God Liv.” She is practically glowing with pride as she calls for Jackson and we say our goodbyes.
“Bye Uncle Robert. Bye Aunty Presley. Bye-bye, baby.” His tiny arms wrap around my neck as he crawls into my lap and I kiss him on his sweet head.
“Thank you, buddy.”
He looks at me puzzled. “For what?”
“You know how we talked about how it’s nice to give people gifts?”
“Yea?”
“Well, you gave me a very big gift.”
“Oh, well, you’re welcome!”
“Did you tell Uncle Robert what else the baby doesn’t like?”
The biggest, most conniving smile appears on his little face, baby fat cheeks swell with pride as he shakes his head no. “It was funny seeing you sick.” His little laugh tickles the air like wind chimes, and I can't wait to one day have a house full of those kinds of laughs. Liv and Robert join him, and I sit back in awe.
“Guess we’
ll find out together P.”
“Come on, buddy. It’s nap time.”
“But I’m not sleepy.” Liv rolls her eyes and ushers Jax out of the house.
Once gone, Robert sits down on the couch next to me, pulling me under his arm as I rest against his chest. “How are you feeling?”
“Better,” I say with a content sigh, “Thank you for today. I really needed it.”
“You know I’d do anything for you. I just want to see you happy. I didn’t know what to do.”
“I know.” I readjust myself and lay in his lap, his fingers combing through my hair, lulling me into a nap.
“So I was thinking, we could leave tomorrow after the ultrasound appointment.”
“Sounds good.”
“And you’re sure you want to move to weekly appointments?”
“Yes.”
“What do you think the good doctor will say about that?”
“Quite frankly, I don’t care. This is our baby, and I know that she’s protected.”
* * *
Yesterday had been the first day in over a week that I’d seen Presley smile, let alone laugh.
While Liv was keeping her distracted with baby things, I was planning a weekend away for us. Nothing elaborate, but definitely something to give us a change of scenery from the confines of our home; the four walls were slowly closing in around us, and Presley’s daily commute from the bedroom to the living room was agonizing to watch. The ho-hum of just existing. I know she feels confident enough to move her appointments to weekly, but I’m not ready to throw out all of Dr. Wards instructions, I still possess a small amount of doubt about the gift we’ve been given. I want our daughter, but I also want Presley happy. I’ll give in to her lessening appointments, but I will still enforce her bed rest. If something should happen, I know that not only would I lose our daughter, but this is something Presley would never recover from, and I’m not ready to lose her too.
“You ready babe?” I call to her from the living room while checking my watch.
“Just a minute.” The woman has never been late a day in her life, and now molasses seems to move quicker than her.
“Pres, we’re going to be late.”
“Okay. Okay. I’m ready. I just wanted to look cute, seeing as how another man will shove something in me.” She looks at me with a devilish grin as I take in her appearance. Black joggers, cream sweater, and pink converse with her blonde hair pulled back in a ponytail. She practically glows, with just the right amount of pink on the apple of her cheeks. She saunters over to me, purposely pressing her chest against mine while leaning up to kiss me. Her hand sliding down my chest and cupping me hard over my jeans.
“Presley,” I choke out.
“Hmm,” through hooded eyes she bats her lashes at me.
“Are you purposely trying to make things difficult for me?”
“Difficult? No. Hard? Yes.” She smiles innocently, but I know better than to play into that coy expression of hers.
“Let’s go, woman.” In one fluid motion I pick her up in a bridal carry and head out the door to our appointment, buckling her in once in my truck and laying a kiss on her stomach. I love watching her watch me. Her features soften and she looks almost angelic. We’ve been down this road before, but this time, it’s like we’re experiencing everything for the first time. Maybe it’s because we’re actually allowing ourselves to believe that this time is different.
We’re ushered back to an exam room upon our arrival where the nurse lays out a hospital gown and closes the door behind her. Presley sits there in defiance and I wonder how long it’s going to take until Donovan makes her appearance. I consider texting Trey and Liv to bet on it but am interrupted mid text by a knock to the door. Dr. Ward enters the room looking at his phone and then first at me.
“So, should we check on the little speck today?”
He gives his best bedside smile and then turns to Presley when she responds with a firm “No.”
His head swivels in her direction, brows raised when he takes in her appearance. “Mrs. West, that was a rhetorical question more than anything.”
“I understand, but my answer is still no.” She’s toeing the line between her two personalities, both struggling for dominance.
“I’m sorry.” Sarcasm and disbelief drip from his words as he annunciates each one clearly. “I thought you were willing to follow my orders when it came to sustaining this pregnancy.”
“Dr. Ward, I am no longer as fearful as I once was. You, sir, may not believe in things out of your control, but I do.” Her voice is calm but firm; my Presley is still here. “I know this is a miracle, and that right now we are both protected, and everything is going to be okay. If, for any reason, I feel things have changed, I will again follow your orders.”
Presley and Dr. Ward stare hard at one another. Neither one blinking. Neither one backing down. “Mr. West,” his eyes never move from Presley, “please inform your wife—” aww shite.
“Excuse me!”
I look at my watch, five minutes forty-three seconds. In a flash Presley moves from the table and is now mere inches away from the doctor’s face. Gone is my Presley, and in her place stands a pissed off, pregnant Donovan. She was mean and evil before, and now I can honestly say she terrifies me.
“My husband will not inform me of anything. If you want to say something to me, then you will talk directly to me. It’s not his body that has suffered through miscarriage after miscarriage. It’s not his body that is about to go through nine months of change, and it is most certainly not his body that will push a bowling ball out of a ten-inch hole!
“You are not the only doctor in this hospital, and you sure as hell aren’t the only doctor in this city, so if you want your precious autograph we will listen and respect each other! Do I make myself clear?”
I watch as Dr. Ward swallows the lump that has settled in his throat. His Adam’s apple moving against his clean-shaven neck. “My apologies Mrs. West.”
Her shoulders slack, and just as her body instantaneously transformed from woman to raging dragon, she once again returns to her natural state. “Now,” the voice of an angel fills the room. “I will continue with the diet that was set up, the prescription vitamins and even the bed rest, but I will not be poked and prodded every two days; I will agree to once a week. If I feel like something is wrong, or if I experience any pain, I will contact you immediately.”
Stunned in disbelief, Dr. Ward looks in my direction. “And how do you feel about all this?”
His eyes focus on me as I look to Presley giving her my full support. “In here she’s the boss until it becomes medically necessary for you to intervene. If we ever reach that point, know you will have my support, and my wife will gladly relinquish control to you.”
Presley scowls and rolls her eyes, but this is the best I can do. I want what’s best for her and our child.
His eyes dart between the two of us, realizing that he would never win this battle. Presley’s eyes are locked firmly on him as he takes a defeated breath and rests his hands on his hips. “Well then, I’ll see you in a week. Heaven help you if you have a daughter like her.” He shoots me a glance and shakes his head.
“I can't wait.”
He chuckles under his breath while exiting the room, and my fierce warrior turns to spaghetti on the exam room table.
I make my way over to her, wrapping my arms around her in a comforting embrace and kiss her crown. “P, you know I love you, and I mean this in best, most loving way, but—”
“Yes?”
“Well…I forgot how sexy you become when you go into bitch mode.” I hold her tighter as she struggles against me, giggling as my fingers find her sides.
“Well then, guess I’ll have to remember that in the bedroom.” She shoots me an innocent wink and I can't help but laugh as she tries to play the innocent card. I know my vixen is far from innocent.
“You know that shit ain’t gonna fly with me, princess.” Laughter fi
ll our exam room as she slides off the table and I swat her ass.
“Come on Mr. West, I believe you promised me a weekend getaway.”
Chapter Four
It’s nearly dusk when we make it to our little get away. My eyes never leave Presley as we drive through the entrance to the Cypress Haven Tree House Resort. Her emerald eyes sparkle and dance in the glow of the twinkle lights that line the gravel road leading to the visitor’s cabin.
“Robert, please tell me this isn’t a joke.”
I can't help but smile as her face lights up in a childlike wonder. “It’s not a joke, princess. I know you’ve always wanted to come to one of these, and well, I figured if you had to stay on bed rest then the least I could do would be to give you a good view to look at.”
A tear slides down her cheek as she closes her eyes.
“I told you Pres, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.” She nods and I kiss her tear away before putting the truck in park and going to check in.
Even through her happy tears, her smile lights up the cab of the truck and I know I’ve done something right for her.
“Thank you,” she whispers just before my lips brush over hers.
I make my way into the first cabin and am greeted by a portly middle-aged lady with a pleasant smile.
“You must be Mr. West. You’re our last guest for the evening. We made sure everything was stocked to your specifications earlier today. I hope you and your wife love the Uoki house, it has the most romantic views and you’ll be able to watch both the sunrise as well as the sunset without any impediments.”
“Thank you…”
“Goldie. My friends, well, they call me Goldie.” Her plump cheeks and cheery disposition would turn any bad day around. For some reason, she just seems like the kind of woman you want to hug.
“Goldie, I know my reservation is only for the weekend, but could you tell me if it’s available for a couple more days? I’d like to stay for the entire week if possible.”
She gives me a sly little grin and bounces her shoulders. “Oh, absolutely my dear. I’ll go ahead and make that adjustment. I’ll go to the farmers’ market tomorrow and get you a few more groceries if you would like.”
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