I’m tired of being ignored. All the other nurses I’ve talked with in passing have said the same thing. “I was told the doctor would be out soon over an hour ago. I’m done waiting, tell me what’s going on with my wife.”
Her poker face gives nothing away. “Please sir, that’s all I’m at liberty to say at this time.” Gathering a handful of charts, she excuses herself and I’m left with eleven sets of eyes staring at me.
“She didn’t know anything,” I mumble out defeated before returning to the aqua colored faux leather chair with black plastic that passes for legs and an armrest, barely wide enough to hold my frame. Elbows resting on my knees and fingers buried deep in my hair, I can't help but imagine the worst. Liv’s hand rubs my back as she comes over and sits next to me.
“Here. Eat this.” I glace sideways at what looks like a dry turkey sandwich on soggy bread; the tomato wasn’t tucked in the middle the way Presley makes them.
“I’m not hungry.”
“Robert,” she says in a hushed whisper, “you need—”
“I said I’m not hungry!” My booming voice catches her and others off guard in the silence of the waiting room. “For all I know my wife is lying there dead!” My voice catches on the word dead and I notice my mother’s eyes shift to something behind me. The rasp of someone clearing their throat causes my head to turn.
“Mr. West, can we go somewhere more private please?”
Dr. Ward looks exhausted. His forehead has deep set wrinkles for someone so young. He’s still in blue surgical scrubs with an operating cap on. I nod and follow him into a nearby glass room. Even through closed blinds I can feel everyone’s eyes focused on us. “Mr. West, the surgery did not go as planned. We were able to remove the remaining pregnancy mater, but there were some complications.”
“What—” my voice comes out broken and I try again, “What complications?”
“Your wife is in ICU.”
“And the baby?”
He shakes his head. “It’s still too early to tell if the surgery affected anything.”
I just feel as if I’ve been punched in the gut, my wife is in ICU and this know-it-all doctor can't even confirm if she’s still pregnant.
“Robert, we lost Presley twice.”
Bile rises in my throat while I close my eyes at the onslaught of tears. Dr. Ward grips my bicep and as much as I want to shake him off, I almost need the comfort. The feeling keeps me present; it forces me to acknowledge that this is all happening, and it’s not a dream gone horribly wrong.
“She’s stable now, but it could be awhile before she wakes up.”
My sadness has turned to rage at the loss of his touch and the sound of his shoes against the tile floor. I open my eyes and see red. How dare he think ‘wait and see’ is enough. “You promised she would be fine,” I yell out.
He stops, and it’s clear to see he’s dealt with others like me. “I said I would try. And I did. Now it’s up to her.
“I’ll be back in a couple of hours to check her vitals. You may go see her, but she’s in ICU so we allow only one visitor. Once we move her, more can come visit.
“I’ll have a nurse come and escort you in a few minutes.”
Dr. Ward exits the room, leaving the door open. Hushed murmurs filter in as I breathe deeply, trying to prepare myself for the expectant faces and questions that will no doubt come the moment I step foot through the door.
Slowly I drudge my feet back to the chair I was sitting in, Liv to my left, mom to my right. “She’s in ICU.” Liv rubs my back.
“And the baby?” Tina ask hopefully.
I don’t know what to say. All I can offer is a shrug. There are no words that seem correct enough. I don’t know. They don’t know. “I’ll let you know once she’s been moved and can have visitors.”
Gramps comes closer and pats my shoulder. “We’re here for you both, son. Cora was there for them.”
“Yeah, well, if that’s true, then why did they lose her?” The gall of him hiding behind a dead woman is appalling. I trusted everything would be fine, but it isn’t. Gram failed Pres. She failed me.
“Son, instead of asking why they lost her, ask instead why she’s here. I know you’re tired and upset, but today could have been much worse. You could have lost them both.”
I hadn’t thought about looking at it from a different perspective. Gramps was right, and when it clicked with me, he nodded his head in understanding and patted my back.
Our moment is interrupted by a nurse coming to escort me to Presley’s room. I am engulfed by hugs and well wishes, followed by everyone’s promises to return and requests to call with any updates.
* * *
I open the door to Presley’s room. Small and fragile looking, she’s attached to a few different machines; some I recognize, several I don’t. I’m helpless. I want to wrap my arms around her, tell her everything’s gonna be okay, but the truth is I’m uncertain of that and currently our life seems full of empty promises. No one is sure of anything, except Jax and Gramps. But what do they know? Even Presley’s doctor isn’t a hundred percent sure on anything. I pull the chair next to her bed and hold her hand. I just need to be next to her.
* * *
– 2 a.m. –
The gentle touch of fingers combing through my hair forces me from sleep. Somewhere between Law and Order and Law and Order SVU, I fell asleep. The room is lit with a soft glow coming from the bathroom, possibly the doing of one of the nurses. I raise my head to look at Presley, only to find her gazing down on me. “Hey, you,” she says quietly.
Breathing a sigh of relief, I spring from my chair and cup her face. “Pres, never leave me again.” Urgently my lips crash onto hers as if I don’t kiss her now, she might disappear. A mix of giggles and beeping act as our own personal soundtrack. The blips of her heart rate monitor quicken as our kiss deepens, the pounding of tennis shoes on tile filters into the room followed by a sigh of relief and awes.
“Well, aren’t you a lucky girl to wake up next to someone like this. No wonder your monitor was going off like crazy, mine would be too.” Presley blushes and I chuckle slightly, resting my head against her shoulder. “Let’s see what we’ve got going, shall we? If you’re in the clear we’ll see about getting you moved to a more private room, dearie.”
I step back, allowing the nurse to do her job checking vitals and drawing blood for some test. P doesn’t flinch anymore at the sight of needles and I’m almost positive she could probably draw her own blood if that was possible.
“I’ll be back in a little bit. You two behave. Remember, this one gave us a scare earlier today. Try to keep things easy for the time being.” I nod and she winks on her way out the door.
I wait until the nurse is out the door before I once again take my seat next to Presley’s bed, clinging to her. “I’m so glad you’re back beautiful. Dr. Ward told me what happened.”
“Robert,” her voice is quiet and still semi groggy. “I saw Gram. We’re having this little girl.”
“I was so afraid I lost you P.” The tears I’d been holding back come pouring out of me. “I started regretting letting you go through with this. I know you probably would have done it anyway, but I should have pushed harder against it.”
Her soft hands brush against the stubble on my jaw. “I’m right here. She wouldn’t let me stay.” Her thumb sweeps across my cheek, taking away the newest of the tears.
“Pres—”
“I’m here, Robert.” She scoots over on the bed and I crawl up next to her. Her arms cocoon around me, this scene so different from our past. Here she was, after everything she had gone through, and she was the one comforting me.
* * *
They move Presley early the next morning. We splurged for a private room with a view of the hospital gardens since we would be here for at least a week. The success of both our careers meant she would want for nothing during this time.
There were already a couple of flower arrangements that had been de
livered by the time her bed was rolled in, and I had Mom bring Presley’s favorite blanket from home and her pillow. Just because we were stuck here for a week didn’t mean it had to be intolerable. Tina also brought my duffle with plenty of changes of clothes.
Just as Presley gets settled Dr. Ward taps on the door. Presley’s alive and now all that remains unanswered is if our child is.
“How’s my most difficult, yet favorite patient this morning?”
I scoff at his greeting, “Alive,” I say under my breath, causing Dr. Ward to shift uncomfortably, leaving Presley to break the tension.
Presley giggles, “Favorite, really?”
He chuckles, “I like a challenge, and you my dear are definitely a challenge. Your situation, your case, you in general.”
I can’t argue with him on any of that.
“Well, I’ve got some very surprising news this morning.”
Presley and I are all ears.
“After reviewing your blood results from last night, your HCG levels have almost doubled as well as your progesterone.
“You’ve only had one treatment of the progesterone therapy and usually we wouldn’t see an increase this size so soon afterwards.”
“So what does that mean?”
Dr. Ward nods in my direction before continuing. “I’d like to hold off on further treatment for a couple of days; see how your body adjusts to everything.
Presley nods, but the all too important question still hangs in the air. “So I’m…”
“Pregnant.”
We both let out a sigh of relief at his words while twin tears trickle down Presley’s face.
“Try to rest while you’re here. I’ll be back by later this afternoon. We’ll do blood work every morning; as long as everything continues to increase you should be free to go in a week, give or take a day or two.”
I utter my appreciation and follow him out the door, stopping him in the hall. “Doctor, I want to apologize for yesterday, I was out of line.”
“Mr. West, if you hadn’t responded that way I would have been concerned. She will not have an easy road ahead of her. I would consider this pregnancy high risk and I will treat it as such.”
I nod in understanding.
“You can call your family to visit now. Have a good day.”
Chapter Eight
This past week in the hospital has been anything but relaxing. Presley’s room has been a revolving door of friends and family coming to check on her and to congratulate her on top of the hospital staff making their routine rounds.
Some stay for hours, while others stay for only a couple of minutes. Past clients and some of my teammates have sent flowers in lieu of visiting.
Mom, Tina, and Gramps have been staying at our house, while Rick and Laura have been at Trey and Liv’s.
Presley’s numbers continue to increase on their own and Dr. Ward has agreed to let us go home tomorrow. She will still need to come in every three days for blood work, but she’s made it to six weeks. She’s napping a bit more and not as anxious at night. Dr. Ward seems to be happy with her progress, and even though she’s classified as high risk, he seems to have relaxed some of his rules.
“You guys don’t need to worry about a thing. Your mothers and I met with your nutritionist and have put together enough meals to feed you for another two months at least.”
“Thank you, Laura. You guys really didn’t have to do all that. I never wanted to feel like a burden to anyone. Everyone has been so helpful.”
“Oh, hush now. It was no problem at all. You know how much I love to cook, and your kitchen is a dream.” Laura smiles at Pres, squeezing her hand in a final farewell.
“Give us a call if you two need anything. Arizona’s not that far and the flights are cheap. Robert, if you want to get in some practice time this off season give me a call, I’d be more than happy to come out.”
“Thank you, sir.”
With a loud thud to my shoulder and a tight squeeze to my neck, Coach rattles me a bit. “I think it’s time you start calling me Rick instead of sir.”
I chuckle at the informality. “Whatever you say, Rick.”
“Well, we’ll let you guys get some rest. Most of us are flying back tomorrow, your mothers are staying an extra week.”
“We love you both so much and are incredibly happy for the both of you.”
“Thank you guys again for everything.”
I kiss Presley on the forehead before walking Rick and Laura outside to say a final goodbye. I haven’t been out of the hospital in days; fall and cooler weather has definitely reached Texas, but the feel of sun against my skin is still warm.
I walk around the garden for a few minutes just to stretch my legs and breathe something besides recycled air while contemplating bringing something back for dinner that isn’t hospital food. However, tonight Nurse Bristol is on duty and the hospital’s resident nutrition Nazi.
When I get back to Presley’s door, I stop and admire her through the small window. A picturesque beauty with the setting sun illuminating her changing features. She looks to have showered and is now wearing a pair of the new pajamas I bought her: grey cotton shorts with a drawstring waist and lace on the hem, a thin white V-neck T-shirt, and a long cardigan that feels as if it were made of baby puppies, clouds, cotton candy, and angel wings. She sits cross-legged on the bed, her hands resting peacefully on her stomach, truly glowing from within.
She turns her attention to me as the door creaks open, a peaceful beam radiates from her. I make my way over to her, slipping off my shoes and climbing onto the slightly wider than usual hospital bed, pulling her down next to me. She settles in the crook of my arm, her weary head resting on my chest, while her arm wraps around my waist with a tender squeeze. “I’m so tired.”
“I know you are.” I kiss the crown of her head while tucking a few loose strands of hair behind her ear. “We’ll go home tomorrow.”
“I feel disgusting.”
“You look beautiful. Definitely not like you’ve been here for a week.” Her fingers dig into my side and a small giggle vibrates her chest.
“I just want to take a bath, sleep in our bed, and eat real food. Food with seasoning and flavor.”
I chuckle, I’ve been eating the same thing she has in solidarity, I think even prisoners are served better meals than what she’s been getting. “What do you want?”
“It doesn’t matter,” she says with a defeated sigh, “it’s not approved.”
“Tell me P.”
She swallows and I can tell she’s thinking about whatever it is she wants. “A Whataburger patty melt with fries and spicy ketchup.”
My mouth salivates almost instantly; she giggles and a light shade of pink flows to her cheeks. I hug her tighter and raise her chin till she’s angled towards me, my lips pecking kisses against her nose, her eyes closed, soaking in my attention. “If that’s what you want, we’ll get one on the way home. I think you’ve earned it.” Her eyes pop open in disbelief with a smile stretching from ear to ear. “But after that it’s back to following orders.”
Her lips taste of happiness, if happy had a taste, and she snuggles against me even tighter. “You’re the best.” She shifts again, draping her leg over mine, my hint that she’s moments away from falling asleep so I pull her blanket over us.
“Good night, Robert.”
“Good night, Presley.” Though the sun is still out, the idea of sleep is a welcomed thought. “Good night, little one.”
“Good night, Cora.” Guiding my hand, she places it tenderly on top of her stitches before looking at me through hooded eyes. “Gram said it was still a girl, Robert. I’m ready to start calling her by her name.” Her lips brush against mine, her tongue begging for access but I know what that leads to, so I pull back, resting my forehead against hers.
“Pres—”
“But I—”
“You just had surgery. Almost died.”
“But I didn’t.”
“I love y
ou. But—”
“But you’re going to make me wait aren’t you?” I love the way she pouts. The way her bottom lip sticks out and somehow looks plumper than usual.
“Just until Dr. Ward gives you the all clear.”
Her nostrils flair, and she mutters a mumbled ‘fine’ as my chest vibrates with a silent chuckle.
“Good night, Pres. Good night, Cora.”
* * *
After a week and a half in the hospital we are finally discharged late in the morning. It’s been over two weeks since we’ve been home and even before we make our way through the garage door I can hear Kringle’s paws bouncing at the back door for us with his tail slapping loudly against the adjacent wall. I’m almost certain he’s as happy as we are to have us home.
We walk in and are greeted by Mom and Diane. “Oh, my babies! You’re finally home.” Mom practically shouts as we make our way inside.
“Hey Momma.” I muster as much energy as I can, but all I can think about is the king-size bed that awaits me just fifty feet away. “Everything looks amazing. Thank you both. You didn’t have to do all this.”
“Oh, hush now. We had to do something with our time. That son of mine only let us visit every two days.”
Robert makes his way over to Diane and kisses her cheek. “Thank you Momma. You both outdid yourselves.”
Diane beams with pride while taking the duffle bag from Robert. “Don’t worry about a thing. I’ll get this washed for you. I’m sure you two want to go freshen up, maybe take a nap. I know hospitals aren’t the most conducive places for sleep or peace. Dinner will be at six. We’ll see you then.”
I offer a small nod and hug both of our mothers before heading down the sacred hall that leads to a place that can only be described as heaven.
Glancing around the room, there are fresh flowers on the nightstands and the bedding has all been washed. The welcoming scent of lavender tempts me with sleep as I sit on the bed to take a minute to just breathe. Robert comes in behind me and closes the door.
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