by Lauren Wood
“Why don't we get inside?”
He chuckled and agreed that it was probably a good idea. I tried to get up, but I was still a little wobbly, and he took my hand and helped me get straightened up.
“We can't have you falling off the roof.”
As messed up as it sounded, I think it would have been worth it if I had.
9
Frank
I was just about to doze off, Amber was in my arms, and her phone would not stop ringing. I answered it and a woman asked me who I was. She wasn't rude about it, but she certainly did not expect anyone but Amber to answer the phone.
“She's a bit detained right now. Is there something that I can pass on along to her?”
“Who are you?”
“Like I said, we're just old friends. We've known each other a long time.”
“Well, I've never heard of you and I was calling to find out why she didn't take her flight.”
“Where was she going?”
“Back home to Chicago. She called me earlier today and told me to get her a flight. I found one, sent her all the details, and then she never got on it. Is she okay?”
I told the curious woman that she was fine, but I was bothered by how quickly she was ready to leave. I may have missed my chance for good, if something hadn’t come over her. I didn't even think that it was me that had made a difference. Amber had decided that we were going to be together and we were. I was not mistaken to think that I had a say in it.
“Well, I really need to talk to her. Am I supposed to get her another flight for the morning?”
“No, I don't think that will be necessary.”
She started to ask me what I meant by that, but I hung up the phone. If I didn't technically hear it, I didn't have to push the information out the other way. I even turned her phone off, just because I didn't want it to wake us. More than that, I didn't want her to talk to whoever that was on the phone. They wanted to take her away from me, and after what just happened between us, I was certainly not ready for that. I was ready to lay next to her for a little while and then take her another time. I didn't think I was ever going to get sick of how Amber felt. She felt amazing.
I worried that she was going to leave. I hadn't even got to all of my secrets, and she was already ready to take off again. What was I going to do if she actually left? I didn't even want to think about it, but at the same time, I knew I had to. I was not stupid enough to think that I couldn’t lose her. I had already lost her once before. I damn sure knew that I could do it again.
Laying back down, I cursed after a moment. Even after satisfying myself completely with her, I still wasn't going to be able to get any damn sleep.
“Frank, have you seen my phone?”
“Your phone?”
I was just getting up and getting out of the shower. Amber was asking me about her phone, but I didn't want to tell her that I had chucked it underneath the bed in the far corner. She would find it, eventually, I was sure of it, but it didn't mean that I wanted her to. Whoever it was that I had talked to before, the one that wanted her to get back on the plane and go back to Chicago, I had no desire for her to talk to her at all. Gemma could keep her opinions to herself.
“Will you help me look for it?”
“Or, come back to bed with me?”
She waved me off and told me that we had been in bed too much. I questioned the validity of that statement. Could we really be in bed too much? I didn't think it was possible.
I took the towel off of my waist, and I didn't have to do anything. It was already rock hard thinking about her. It was truly like it had a mind of its own, and it wanted Amber every second.
She just looked at it and shook her head. I could see the gleam in her emerald eyes, but I could also see that it wasn't going to be enough. While I wanted her to take one look at my hard length and want to jump on it, it was quite obvious that she had something holding her back. When she told me no and I asked her why, she simply said that she was too sore to even think about it.
“Was I too rough with you last night?”
Her face got a little red and for a minute, I thought she was going to hide it. How strange it was to see her so nervous, like we hadn't fucked each other’s brains out only a few hours ago. I don't know what necessarily had changed, but she was acting like she wasn't sure about me. I truly did not like the feeling of that at all.
“No, I wish you would stop asking. It was fine. More than fine, and I think you know that, because I came like fifty times.”
“Then why don't you want to make it fifty-one?”
She groaned and shook her head. “You really don't get how badly I want to. But I really don't think I would be able to walk. It's already bad enough that half of the neighborhood heard us. I don't think I can take anymore right now.”
“I can always put a gag on your mouth. Then you won't be able to say anything.”
I was kind of joking. Kind of not. She had this super serious look on her face, though, and she looked at me like I might do that very thing. I wasn't planning on it, but now…maybe.
Covering back up because it did me no good, she asked if I wanted to go to some other old haunts. I knew exactly where she was talking about, and I have to admit that I was looking forward to it. How long had it been since I had gone to the park?
We used to sit on the picnic tables and talk about everything, mainly how much life was going to be different when we were grownups. The only difference that I could see was that I needed her more than ever before.
We got dressed and both of us were quiet on the way to Hayes Park. I hadn't been there in years, but I knew that it was going to bring back all the old memories. I think that was the point, or at least that was what seemed to be happening. Everything reminded me that we were meant to be together.
10
Amber
I spent most of the day trying to find something wrong with Frank. He was just too perfect, and I wanted to think that there was obviously something I was missing. For some reason, I didn't want him to be the perfect guy that he had always been. After having sex with him, though, I was starting to worry that he actually was. I thought that he might have been just as damn perfect as I remembered, maybe even more so. Now as a man, it was hard to deny that every part of me wanted to give in to every part of him.
We walked the river that cut through the park, taking our time winding along with it on the bank. We found our old spot and even the etched names that was in the wood of the picnic table we sat on. I couldn't believe that it was still there, but like everything here, it seemed to remind the person that the past was ever present. I tried to believe that all I had to do was stay here with him. Why would I leave? For a moment, I seriously couldn't think of the answer to that. I knew there was a reason, but none of them seemed like very good ones.
“So, Frank, you listen to me rattle on about my clothing line and France. When are you going to tell me what you have been doing all this time? And don't tell me you've been sitting here waiting for me. As much as my ego likes the idea of it, we both know that it's not true. What's been going on with you?”
It was more of a general statement, but really I was wondering about his love life. I was trying to figure out how a man that could make me come like that, was ever single. I would think that every woman that he went to bed with, would beg for him to stay in the bed as long as possible. It was hard to imagine anyone giving up that feeling. I had only had it a few times, and I was already trying to think of ways to keep him with me. How could there not be ten other women ready to scratch out my eyes at any moment for even looking at him? As crazy as it sounded, it didn't make any sense to me.
“Nothing really. I am not so wild, anymore. I am not like I used to be. I guess that just goes away with age.”
“Wild? You sound like you’ve been living like a monk. What would make you change so much?”
He got this funny look on his face and asked me why I thought it had to be something tha
t made him change.
I told him that was easy enough. He had loved to party more than probably anybody else that I ever knew. People could change, but to change so drastically, did not make any sense. There had to be some kind of catalyst.
“Let's just say that a good friend of mine made some really bad choices and watching him royally mess up his life, made me realize that I needed to grow up.”
“And have you?”
He shrugged and said that he liked to believe that he had.
“Well, I might have to thank this friend of yours one day. It looks like because of them you are now a reformed player. I don't think it gets much better than that.”
“I would have never considered myself a player.”
“Trust me, Frank, the way you make love to a woman, that has to come with a lot of practice.”
I kind of laughed when he started to stutter, like I was going to get upset or something. I wasn't. I was truly thankful for whoever had taught him the ways of a woman, because quite frankly, they had taught him well. I couldn't even imagine ever having sex any other way. He was all I needed, apparently.
“I am not saying it as a bad thing. I'm being serious. I have never come like that before. There is some kind of magic you got going on, and I'm just glad that you learned from someone.”
He cocked his head to the side and told me that I was being weird again. It wasn’t the first time that I heard it, and I had a feeling that it wasn't going to be the last, either.
“Call me weird if you want, but it's the truth.”
I gave him a kiss, and even though I hadn't meant for it to go anywhere, it quickly became quite clear that I was not going to be able to stop what was already in play. His hands on my body was the only answer that I needed. The rest of it, we could worry about that later. I fell into his arms again and this time, I didn't even try to stop the fall. Why did I have to? When everything felt so right, why did I have to pretend that it was even a question?
I didn't want to think about anything. I just wanted to feel. Frank was next to me, beside me, and then quickly inside of me. That was all that mattered and the rest I could figure out later. That's what I told myself, anyway. I didn't know if I believed that, but it sounded good in theory.
I think I was legitimately having one of the best weeks of my life. Everything just clicked with me and Frank. It was so easy to be around him. It was like we had never separated. We started dating again, going out like we did that summer. I don't know why, but I ignored everything, didn't even find my phone, and I was okay with it. I wasn't worried about the outside world. I wasn't concerned with Paris and Chicago. All I was worried about was spending some time with Frank. It felt like we owed it to ourselves, considering we had waited so long.
Every day it was like a gift and I was not going to waste it. We did all sorts of things together, and we were around each other twenty-four seven. It was different, but I don't think I could have played it out better in my mind.
It had been a week that we had been staying at my grandfather’s house. Since the place held so many memories, I really didn't mind, but then I wanted to know why we never went to his place. When I said something about it, he got defensive, and it made me think that there was a reason for it.
Part of me just wanted to let it go. It was obvious, for whatever reason, that he did not want to share that information. I should have just let it go. We were having the perfect time, and if it wasn't bothering me so much, I’d like to think that I really would have let it go. I fear that maybe I wouldn't have.
“Well, if you don't want to go to your place now, maybe we can stay there tonight. I mean it's not like I haven't already seen the place.”
He made a noncommittal sound and again I could not understand why he acted the way he did. Of course, the first thing that came to my head was that he was hiding something. Why else would he refuse to take me back to his place? It was fishy and I wanted to know why. How could I enjoy our time together, when there was something always in the back of my head wondering?
“So, you want to stay here tonight?”
I was expecting him to say yes, that had been the way things had gone thus far. When he told me no, I didn't know how to react.
“What?”
“I'm not going to be able to stay here tonight. This is kind of my week off from life, but it starts back on Monday. I have to get back to work.”
I knew that he had an investment business to run. It was important to him because he talked about it quite a few times. It was his way of proving to his family that he could do things himself. He even told me that he had given back the money that his father had tried to basically bribe him with. Frank was very proud of that fact. I could tell when he talked about it.
It was not unreasonable by any means. We had been completely obsessed with each other for quite a while now. It's not like I was sick of him, but I didn't want him to get sick of me, either.
“Of course, you have to go. I don't know what I was thinking. I just got a little too used to you being around, I guess.”
He told me not to sweat it and said something about wishing that he could stay. I believed he really thought that way, but we both knew that it wouldn't be possible.
Will I see you tomorrow?”
“How about I pick you up about nine and we'll go get some late dinner?”
“Do you work that late?”
“Not always, but I will most likely have to tomorrow. I've been gone for a while, so I'm sure that there is a lot that I will have to handle from my absence.”
He gave me a kiss and we said our goodbyes. It's not like this was the first time that it happened. But it was the first time that I was so bothered by it.
As I was leaving, I still had a little bit of suspicion and questioned why he was acting so strange. Whatever the reason, there was just some feeling that what he was telling me wasn't completely true. I don't know why I felt like he was keeping something from me. Maybe it was something important.
Maybe it was some secret that as soon as I found out about it, I would know that what we had together wasn’t real. I didn't understand why he was so adamant about me not coming over to his house. I felt like there was a reason.
Either way, I knew that secrets had a way of coming to the surface. It was like it couldn't be helped, and I figured that if there was something to know, eventually it would come out and then I would know it. Whether I would be able to deal with the answer or not was another thing altogether.
11
Frank
Leaving Amber behind was necessary, but it didn't mean that I had to like it. The time that we had spent together was some of the best times in my life, but now I worried about all of it being ruined. She had known that I was lying to her. I could feel it. Why she hadn’t called me out on it, I don't know. It just made me feel more guilty and before long, I couldn't help the idea that she was not going to understand. My secrets were pretty big. How could I expect her to understand?
If I had told her about certain aspects of my life sooner, when we first found each other again, maybe it would not seem as though I had been hiding it. As it stood now, when she found out, she was going to think that I withheld the information. In a way I had because I didn't want her to know that about me. How would I have ever known that we could get so close again? Now that we were, though, how was I supposed to tell her that I left out such a massive detail?
I got home a little after dark, and I kept looking at the clock because I didn't want to be late. Caroline hated it when I was late, and of all the people in my life, Caroline was the one that I was afraid of disappointing the most. I made it back with only a few minutes to spare, and I was there waiting for her when she got back. She had a big smile on her face and ran up to my arms, before she even put her things down. I asked her how her visit was, and she said it was the best visit to gramma’s ever.
She wanted to know what I had been doing the whole time, and I tried to relay that I had been waitin
g for her, of course. Although it made Caroline giggle, her natural curiosity would not let that stand as an answer.
“Come on, Daddy. I've been gone a whole week. What did you do?”
I didn't really have a good answer. A few flashes came to mind, but they weren't anything that I could say out loud. I never dated, so it wouldn’t have even been on her radar.
She finally took the answer that I did get some hunting in while she was gone. Then, of course, she wanted to see what I had gotten. When I told her that I didn't get anything, she didn't believe me anymore.
“You always get something.”
Finally, I told her that I got a deer and we would have venison steaks for dinner. I'm not sure where I was going to find them, but it didn't matter. I was feeling pretty low at the moment. I didn't like lying to Caroline. I had to lie to her every day about certain things. That was enough.
We watched a movie while I sent texts to several people that I thought might have a few steaks in their freezer. Jimmy, an old friend that lived a few houses down, said that he would bring a few over. Jimmy and I had been friends for many years, and Caroline actually called him her uncle. He didn't even ask why I needed two venison steaks in the middle of the night. He just put them in the kitchen, and then left out through the back door. I seriously did not know what I would do without him.
After the movie was about over and it was way past bedtime, I started the steaks and we had them in a darkened kitchen, before Caroline got in the bath and I talked her into bed. I didn't regret Caroline, how could I? What I did regret was not telling Amber about her. Now, something that could have been easily explained, was going to be harder to do so, because I had waited so long to say something. I know that that was my biggest fail.