by Linda Ellen
The ladies in the nearby beds stopped their conversations and craned their necks to see what was going on as Angie took the paper and scanned it quickly. She looked over at Louise, concerned that tears were flooding down her younger friend’s cheeks.
“Honey…he just got delayed is all. It says he’ll be back in two weeks…he signed it ‘all my love’…there’s no need to cry…” she paused, exchanging looks with her sister. “I know you miss him, but…it’ll be alright…”
“He’s not coming back! Just like last time!” Louise burst out, covering her face with her hands as she was suddenly overcome with a feeling of deja vu, reliving the panic she had felt four years before when she had first read Vic’s letter. Reason deserted her as she began to implode. “Just… like last… time…” she sobbed.
The other ladies in close proximity were helpless to assist or comfort, and Angie motioned for her sister to go try and find someone to come help. Soon she returned with Nurse Verna.
“Mrs. Blankenbaker!” the kind nurse gasped as she came immediately to Louise’s bedside. “Gracious, what’s wrong? Honey, get hold of yourself!” she urged as she, feeling motherly, gathered Louise in her arms while Angie filled her in over the sound of Louise’s sobs.
The astute nurse had seen this before. Young women who had been abused, she knew, were prone to times of severe breakdowns at the slightest provocation. Although she was sure this wasn’t the case with Louise, she knew the girl had suffered much mental and emotional upheaval in her young life, and her near death experience was probably affecting her more than anyone realized.
Now, the nurse very calmly placed her hand on Louise’s head, pressing it against her chest as she spoke gently, “Louise…listen to me…Vic is coming back. He spoke with me at length on Sunday, asking me to give you assurance and help while he had to be away. The fact that he, apparently, ran into a snag in his plans will not keep him away indefinitely. That young man loves you. Now…” she paused, gently forcing Louise to look up at her. “You need to stop this crying and think about him. He’s never lied to you, has he?” She waited for Louise to register her words and formulate an answer.
Finally, Louise shook her head, reaching up to swipe at her tears. “No.”
Smiling, Nurse Verna nodded. “Alright then. Now, here,” she paused reaching for a tissue and handing it to her patient. “Dry that face, and I’ll scrounge up a new magazine for you. You need to take care of yourself in preparation for tomorrow when we’ll take a walk down the hall to the bathroom. You’ve got to get back on your feet and be able to go home, so that you’ll be back to your old self when he returns, hmm?”
Agreeing with a sheepish nod, she wiped her eyes and blew her nose, as the nurse slipped out to go on her errand. Glancing around at the faces of the other people, shame and embarrassment washed over Louise that she had, once again, made a spectacle of herself in the ward. Mustering the dregs of her spunkiness and fortitude, she vowed right then and there that it wouldn’t happen again.
The other occupants of the ward exchanged glances of various kinds, from sympathy to annoyance to relief, each glad the episode was over. One by one, they went back to what they’d been doing.
*
Friday afternoon was crawling by. The day before had been a painful experience, walking for the first time in a week. Although Louise had been grateful to finally be free of the confining prison of the bed when she had shuffled out of the room on her first trip down the hall, by the time she returned, wincing and fatigued, she had been glad to collapse into its welcoming softness.
The second trip was only a bit better. But Friday morning’s journey had shown much improvement in the level of difficulty. This buoyed a newfound sense of accomplishment within Louise and intensified her desire to leave the hospital and continue on with her life…forging her new life, that is. She’d had a few visitors: Irene again, Sonny and Sara, and Alec and Fleet one more time, although poor Fleet was so swollen and big with her overdue baby that Louise didn’t have the heart to ask her to stay long. They only lingered a few minutes before Alec took the ‘bull’, in the form of his wife, by the horns and ushered her out the door.
After their visit, Louise had sat in her bed, fighting depression. She found herself missing the baby she had lost – more so than she had expected to – but as she did with Tommy, she didn’t think of the babies so much as ‘his’ babies, but ‘hers’. Therefore, she had lost her little boy or girl, and the reality of that fact weighed heavily. The feeling would come in waves, and she had to fight hard to take her mind off of it when it would come rolling in like the tide. She longed for the comfort and security of Vic’s arms. Coupled with the torturous thoughts and fears of Vic possibly not coming back, and her pining to see little Tommy, it was difficult to keep ahead of her emotions. She found it helped if the ladies nearby had visitors who drew her into their conversations. Also, a few of the patients she had befriended had been released and new ones had arrived, so there was the added interest of learning their stories, who they were and how they had ended up injured.
Just then, Louise was sitting all alone, staring down the long, narrow room toward the tall windows at the end. It was a sunny day outside, but all she could really see was blue sky and clouds, the ward being high up on the third floor. Casting around for something to do, she thought of perhaps seeing if she could go to find some writing paper. Maybe at the nurses’ desk…
Just as she grasped hold of the covers to throw them back, a flurry of activity at the door drew her attention, and an orderly came in with his arms loaded down with mail. Many of the ladies had received greeting cards – Louise had even received one from her mother and father several days before. Now, she looked towards him with hope.
And she wasn’t disappointed. With a friendly grin, the young man handed her two pieces of mail. A larger one that looked like a card – glancing at the return address, she grinned, seeing it was from her sister Edna, all the way from New York. And the other…yes! It was from Vic!
Her heart jump-started as she drew the envelope to her chest, treasuring the moment, and then quickly, but carefully, opened the flap. Inside was a letter, and another, smaller envelope. She opened the letter first and read his words, written in his distinctive left-handed script, about how much he missed her…how she was his world now… He hoped she wouldn’t someday regret being with him? How could he even think something like that? He then explained that he was enclosing a letter he had written to her in the CC camp years before. It touched her heart that he had kept it all this time. She read each word slowly, savoring the connection with him…especially his salutation…All my love forever, Vic.
Feeling positively animated, she once again hugged the sheets of paper to her chest before laying it on her lap and reaching for the smaller envelope. It was neatly addressed to her at the apartment she had shared then with her family. Drawing her lip between her teeth in sweet anticipation, she took out the two sheets of lined paper and unfolded them, as if opening a much-treasured present. His words from so long ago took her back to that sad, heartbreaking, confusing time…
My Sweet Mary Lou,
I’ve been waiting and hoping that you would be able to get a letter to me. Can’t imagine what the problem is, but hope it’s nothing serious. I miss you so much – oh babe, you got no idea! I think about you day and night – sometimes the other guys rib me for being so stuck on a girl, but I just tell them they would be too, if they knew you. I keep your picture – you know, the school picture you gave me – taped to the headboard of my bunk. I’ve caught the fellows sneeking peeks at it from time to time and I tell them to keep their mitts off, but I can’t fault them for looking. Your face is the prettiest thing in the barracks. Don’t worry, though, I don’t let anybody see the other photo – you know, the one Alec took of us kissing in the car. That’s for my eyes only.
I brag to them about ya all the time. Especially about how good you can sing. Man, every time I hear Once in a While on the rad
io, it makes me miss you even more. Wish I could hear you sing it again. Do you think of me when you hear it?
Louise paused there, her eyes drifting closed as Vic’s words unknowingly brought back dozens of poignant memories of occasions when she had unexpectedly heard ‘their’ song over the last four, long years. Especially one particularly vivid incident when she had allowed herself to wallow in self-pity and sadness, while her husband was out all night drinking. She had lovingly touched and held the items in her box of ‘treasures’ and cried herself to sleep. Remembering the emotional agony of those days brought a sting of tears to her eyes, but she blinked them away and took a deep breath, refocusing on the here and now. She reminded herself that her years of misery and living with a man she didn’t love, and who lied to her and cheated on her, were over.
Glancing back down at the paper, she continued to read…
All the guys been calling me ‘old man’, cause I’m twenty-one and most of them are only seventeen or eighteen. Makes me laugh. And since I was in the C’s before, I’m the top dog on the block and they’ve all been coming to me with questions. Feels kinda good to have some respect, you know? We’ve been working hard, harder than I ever have in my life, chopping down trees, digging ditches, and postholes for fences. I get to drive the big army trucks. It’s hard work, but good work. After the first week, Major Connors promoted me to Crew Manager. That felt good. He’s a good man. I can see why him and Doc are good friends.
Louise smiled softly at that, trying to picture the kind major in his military uniform from the vivid description Vic had provided during their long talks the weekend after her surgery. Knowing Doc some now, she found herself nodding that two such strong personalities would have a lot in common. Once again, Louise found herself glad that Vic had met a man who poured good things into his life…rather than salt on his wounds. She wiped away a bit of moisture from the corners of her eyes and continued…
Most of the guys here are alright. They’re from all over. Places like New York, Wisconsin, Pennsylvania, Tennessee, Florida, you name it. My best bud, though, is a fella named Floyd. Met him the first day and we hit it off right away. He’s a colored fella, but I tell him all the time he ain’t much darker than me, haha. Just looks like he’s got a tan. He told me his mama was white. His folks are dead and he knocked around to different homes, a lot like me. He’s a good guy, and he’s twenty-one, too, so we work together to keep the ‘kids’ in line, haha. I’ve been telling him about Louisville and he says he might settle down there when his hitch is up.
Two years…That seems like an eternity from now. Sometimes I think I’ll lose my mind waiting. It sure would help pass the time if you’d write… I hope you’re not still mad at how I yelled at you. If you are, I’m sorry…please forgive me.
Louise pressed her lips together and closed her eyes for a moment, his sweet words asking her forgiveness touching her deeply. When he had written the letter, he had no idea in the world that she had already married another man…deep down she knew that when Vic had penned those words telling her he was sorry, she was miles away wishing she could ask his forgiveness for not having the gumption to stand up to the pressures of her family. With a shuddering breath, she opened her eyes and read the last few sentences.
Mary Louise, I never did…never could…say it in person, but I’m saying it now. I love you. I know I’ll never love anybody else the way, or as much, as I love you. You snatched my heart the first time you looked up at me with those eyes – those hazel eyes of yours. I ain’t been free since. But I don’t mind. My brother Al is saving my pay and once my hitch is up, I’m coming back to Louisville so fast it’ll make your head spin. I’ll take the fastest bus they got. I hope you’ll be waiting when I get off at the terminal…I dream about that day.
Well, I guess I’ll get this closed. I’m gonna hang on to it for a while, though, until I know for sure where to send it. Here’s loving you…
Yours forever,
Vic
Eyes spilling over with tears, Louise sniffled and reached for a tissue to dry them. Then settling back against her pillows, she reread both letters through again, several times each.
Her confidence in Vic’s love and veracity restored, she was eager to finish her convalescence so that she would be ready and able to run to Vic and jump into his arms when her knight on a white charger…or in this case, a dark blue Buick, came rolling back into town.
And when he did, Louise was now certain, they would never be apart again…
‡
CHAPTER 4
Unexpected News
As Vic guided the Buick to a stop on the Indiana side of the Second Street Bridge, he reached to turn on the windshield wipers. Waiting his turn at the tollbooth in the center of the approach, he let out the clutch and maneuvered the coupe up to the open door of the small gray stone building. Rolling his window down just a bit, he stuck two fingers out, a quarter extended toward the toll worker.
The friendly man in a dark blue uniform, complete with shiny-billed cap, white shirt and narrow black tie, took the coin and nodded Vic on through with a smile. “Drive careful, the bridge gets mighty slick when it rains.” Then he added nonchalantly, “Enjoy your time in Kentucky.”
Vic couldn’t help but grin as he answered, “I’m countin’ on it.”
A small cloud directly above created a narrow curtain of rain that did, indeed, cause the surface of the bridge to become a bit slippery. However, as he traversed the nearly mile and a quarter span, the cloud thinned and the rain petered to a stop before he reached the other side.
Almost there… Vic shook his head, unable to dislodge the permanent grin from his face as he negotiated the turns to Irene’s apartment. In just a few minutes, Louise’ll be in my arms. Hope she’s okay now…
Thinking of Louise, who was never far from his thoughts anyway, brought to mind the letter he had received from her just three days prior. She had poured her thoughts and affections out onto the pages and it had warmed and touched him so, he had read it over countless times since opening the envelope. Reaching up just then, he patted the letter tucked safely in the pocket of his shirt. Now, her loving words floated back onto the screen of his mind…
My dearest Vic,
I received your letter, and the one you wrote to me in the CC camp. Your words brought me to tears and I will treasure them always. When I think of all the days, months, and years that were wasted because of my foolish choice, it makes me feel such shame and heartache, sometimes I can barely breathe. If only I could go back in time and undo those choices! I would have waited for you Vic. I wish so much that the last four years hadn’t happened. I missed you every single day…and every night…
Her heartfelt anguish gripped him as it did every time he had read those words, but at the same time he felt his heart rate speed up as he pushed away the thoughts and feelings her words had re-ignited. The thoughts that had plagued him on the long drive to Louisville three weeks before. He tamped them down and allowed the words in her letter to continue.
The only good thing that came from those years…is Tommy. I know you’ve said that you are warming up to him, and he to you – and I know it’s not fair to you – but do you think you will be able to love him and raise him as your own? The thought of having to deal with T.J. in the coming years is a pain, I know, it is for me, too. I think about it a lot – and it scares me that you might get tired of the burden and want to leave again…
“Leave?” Vic whispered with a slight shake of his head. “I’ll never leave her again,” he vowed softly, although…at the back of his mind a tiny seed of something stubbornly nibbled at his consciousness. The other man…the other man who had claimed Vic’s prize out from under his nose. Why was he so torn about that? Vic shook his head again, trying to straighten out and make sense of his thoughts. He knew he loved Louise more than anything or anyone in the world…why then did he have such an aversion to the thought of her having been with another man? Maybe that was the reason. It co
nfused him and made him feel off balance if he dwelt on it too long.
With a tired huff, he determinedly closed the door on the loathsome thoughts and focused on recalling the rest of her letter.
Vic, I give you my word, here and now, that I will do everything in my power to make you happy, to be the best wife any man could ask for, and to always be true to you. I love you so much. Please hurry back to me. I am counting the days until I can be in your arms again, and trying to come up with ways to make the hands on the clock move faster. Please send me a wireless before you start back. Hopefully I’ll be out of the hospital by then, if all goes well.
Thinking of the brief telegram he had received from Irene informing him of something concerning the day Louise had been released from the hospital, he unconsciously ground his teeth together. His friend had mentioned that, of all things, the Blankenbakers had picked Louise up and brought her to Irene’s apartment. Vic once again shrugged as he tried to make sense of that, especially in light of how they had acted in his presence at the hospital. Maybe they’re trying to schmooze their way into her good graces so she’ll let them see Tommy…
Just then, Vic emerged from his musings to turn onto the street where Irene lived and pulled the car to a stop in front of the large house-turned-apartments. With renewed energy, Vic hopped out and jogged around the front of the Buick. Half way down the sidewalk, just as he was wondering if Louise had received the telegram he had sent from Evansville before he left, the front door of the apartment house opened and Louise stepped out.
Vic couldn’t stop the grin that took over his face as he saw her – she looked perfectly fine – lovely. In fact, down right breathtaking. With a surge of emotion, he realized she was wearing the lavender dress she had worn on their date to Fontaine Ferry. He could see the amethyst necklace sparkling against her creamy skin. Stopping in his tracks, intense affection for her swelled in his heart as he gazed at her…blocking out every other thought or feeling except this monumental, all-consuming love. He was sure no man had ever loved a woman with more intensity than he, at that moment, adored his Mary Lou.