by Linda Ellen
“Oh Babe…I’m so sorry…” he whispered against her hair as he felt her body begin to shake with the first tears of reaction.
“D…Daddy’s gone!” she whispered back amid sniffles, intensely grateful that Vic was there with her. Even in the midst of her grief, the thought came that it would have been much worse if she had been alone when she heard the news.
Sonny, somewhat in shock, walked the few steps to his wife’s chair and lowered himself to his knees. Her sorrowful expression and the tears gathering in her eyes showed her empathy, and she reached out and gathered her husband into her arms.
Confused by the sudden change in the room’s atmosphere, especially after he and Vic had been having such a wonderful time playing, Tommy toddled over to his mother. His big blue eyes filled with tears as he realized she was crying. Now frightened, he reached up, tugging on her blouse, wishing to be lifted up for comfort and reassurance.
Vic glanced down and saw the little boy and without a second thought, reached down and scooped him up, creating a three-way hug. Dinner forgotten for the moment, the four adults spent long minutes mourning the loss of a wonderful father and kind gentleman.
For once, the background music on the radio did nothing to lighten the mood, as the DJ had unknowingly chosen to play a song by Sammy Kaye and his orchestra…it was entitled, “Daddy.”
*
“Are you sure that’s what she said?” Louise asked again, watching as her brother nodded in the affirmative. They were standing next to his car the following morning, as he had stopped by Irene’s apartment to check on his sister and, truth be told, needing to just connect with her, the one person in town who totally understood his feelings. He had already said goodbye to his wife, who had stayed behind in their apartment. Irene stood on the stoop of the apartment house holding Tommy, her heart hurting for the pain her young sibling friends were experiencing.
“Read it for yourself,” he replied, reaching into his pocket for their mother’s second telegram. In it, she stated categorically that she absolutely refused to allow Willis to be buried in Bowling Green, and that she needed Sonny to help her with arrangements for transporting the body back to Louisville.
Louise had been beside herself worrying over making the trip back to their parents’ home for the funeral, but Lilly must have realized they would be doing that and had sent the second telegram to preclude their making the trip for nothing.
“Isn’t it expensive to take a…someone to another city to…bury them?” Louise stammered, still unaccustomed to thinking of her wonderful father as merely a ‘body’ to be transported.
“Don’t know. I’ll find out when I get there. In the meantime…I guess be ready to come on down, just in case. I’ll get the money for bus tickets from Mama and wire it to you if it comes to that.”
Louise nodded, crossing her arms over her chest as a sudden chill pervaded her soul and body, despite it being a warm morning in the third week of June. Immediately after, a fresh surge of mournful tears started. Seeing her show of emotion triggered the same response in her brother and with a sigh, he reached out and gathered her in his arms.
“Our daddy’s gone, sis. I still can’t believe it,” he whispered against her hair.
“Me either…I…we didn’t even get to say goodbye…”
Sonny sniffled and gave a nod as he shut his eyes tightly. “He knew though…that we loved him. I just…never told him how much,” he added brokenly, his body beginning to shake with sobs. It was several minutes before they could get themselves back under control.
Finally, Louise pulled back, wiping her eyes as Sonny turned away and pulled a handkerchief from his pocket to blow his nose.
Just then, Vic pulled his car up behind Sonny’s and got out, rounding the front to come and join Louise. Little Tommy hollered Vic’s name from his place in Irene’s arms on the porch, waving his arms excitedly, probably thinking his new friend would take time to play with him. Vic raised a hand high and waved back.
“You make sure you be careful on the road, now,” Louise cautioned. “And tell Mama we love her…and I’ll see her in a few days.”
“Sure thing,” Sonny murmured. “Vic,” he added, extending his hand to shake Vic’s in greeting as the latter reached Louise’s side.
“Sonny,” Vic returned. Perusing his soon-to-be brother-in-law’s obvious state of upset, he added gently, “Listen…if you need somebody, you know…to go along…I’ll do it. Help you drive…”
In truth Sonny had been dreading the lonely trip there, especially since he was feeling so off kilter. Gratefully, he gave Vic a sad smile. “I could use the company.”
Vic nodded and turned to Louise, taking her in his arms for a warm hug. “You okay?” he asked softly. She nodded against his shoulder.
Pulling back, he murmured, “Be right back,” as he sprinted back to his car and retrieved a bag with some things he had packed, just in case. Returning, he tossed them into the back of Sonny’s ’35 Desoto Airstream and leaned to give Louise a warm kiss. “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of him,” he whispered.
She smiled gratefully, although with mixed feelings that he was leaving. But, she knew he would be back in a day or two…along with her mother and brothers. For a moment, she wondered if Edna would be able to make the trip from New York…
The two men bid her goodbye and climbed into the car for the cheerless trip. The last thing they saw before Sonny turned the corner was Irene, Louise and little Tommy half-heartedly waving goodbye.
*
The next few days went by slowly for the family. Vic and Sonny performed the sad task of arranging to have Willis’ body sent to Louisville on the train, while Lilly and Louise’s younger brother, Billy readied to go in the car. Actually, Vic made the arrangements while Sonny stayed with Lilly, striving to calm her down. Fifteen-year-old Billy, in shock himself, wasn’t much help.
Lilly was beside herself with grief and anxiety. She kept tormenting herself over every detail, fretting over the smallest things, and bursting into tears at the drop of a hat. She seemed fixated on Willis’ job, repeatedly saying that it, and Bowling Green, had ‘killed’ him. She went on and on how she hated Bowling Green, and she wished they had never made the move and that Willis had never taken the job, as he had died of a heart attack while he was at work. “I didn’t even get to tell him goodbye, or that I loved him,” she sobbed more than once, the heartrending fact adding to her frustration and angst.
Sonny, not an overly demonstrative man, felt at a loss to comfort and console her, and his attempts at holding her or talking to her seemed to have no effect. On the second day, out of desperation, he sought out a physician who prescribed a mild sedative for the overly distraught woman.
On the third morning, Vic went down to the L&N Depot on Kentucky Street to make sure that the Brumley Funeral Home had completed their tasks and arrangements. Once finished, he drove Sonny’s car back to the Hoskins’ apartment to help load up for the roundtrip to Louisville. They had discussed Lilly and Billy taking the train, but the funeral arrangements as well as the transportation costs had been more than any of them had anticipated. Willis had allowed his life insurance policy to lapse long ago and had never gotten around to having it renewed – and now it was, of course, too late – which left them with little money and the sole option of making the trip by car. That mattered little to Lilly, however. What mattered most was that she was taking Willis ‘back home’ where he belonged. Without a backward glance, she climbed in the automobile and sat staring out the front window, feeling numb with grief. It would only be later that she would think about how grateful she was that her son – and Vic – had been there to take care of the sad but necessary arrangements.
Finally the bags were loaded, and with Sonny behind the wheel, and Vic and Billy in the back, they set off for home.
*
Louise had been quite distraught for the three days following the devastating news, often finding herself holding onto her little son and si
mply weeping in grief. It made it worse that Vic had gone with Sonny. Although she was glad, and even touched, that he had stepped in and offered his help, she nonetheless missed him terribly. She had only just begun to be accustomed to his presence every evening. But somehow, she got through the difficult days as she waited on tenterhooks for Vic and her family to return to Louisville. Irene’s steadying presence and loving compassion was turning out to be even more a gift from above than she had previously thought.
The funeral was a somber affair with a small number of people in attendance, including Irene, Doc and his wife, friends Earl and Ruth with Earl’s parents, Mr. and Mrs. Grant and his sister, Bernice, the grocer Mr. Hudson, Mrs. Herndon from the Neighborhood House, Eleanor, Louise’s friend from the old days, and several men Willis had worked with at a company downtown. Fleet and Alec came, with the baby, but didn’t stay long. Mr. and Mrs. Blankenbaker came to the funeral and made a show of shaking hands with the family members, but didn’t go to the gravesite – and TJ and his new woman, of course, did not make an appearance. Truthfully, Louise was glad, as she didn’t think she could have stomached the stress of that along with everything else. Edna had telegrammed Lilly that she wanted to come, but as she was nearly to term with her first child, Sonny replied via telegram letting her know their Mama was okay and for her not to take a chance on such a long trip. Likewise Sara, being inherently superstitious anyway, especially in regard to the belief that a pregnant woman shouldn’t attend a funeral, stayed behind at the apartment so that she and a neighbor could fix food to serve the mourners once they returned from the cemetery.
Although Louise had been through many tough times in her life, nothing had hit her harder than her father’s untimely death. She couldn’t help thinking of all the things she hadn’t said to him, and she wished she would have told him on her last visit to Bowling Green just how much she loved and admired him…how she had always adored being his ‘Sweet Pea’. She could still see his merry, twinkling eyes just behind his wire rim glasses, and hear his voice as he kept the family in stitches with one of his elaborate stories, spoken in his distinctive Wisconsin accent. She remembered him sitting stoic in the stern of the rescue boat as they were taken away from their home that dark cold night of the flood, none of them knowing if they would be able to return or not. He had kept their mother calm during the crisis and never let them feel the world was ending, but had kept an upbeat, positive attitude – it was his strength that they all held onto during those dark, unsure days. She saw again his excitement and pride as he had ushered her to his automobile when she and Tommy had made the first trip to Bowling Green, and felt again his warm embrace when she had returned brokenhearted and desperate. How she missed him now!
Through the terribly long and emotionally exhausting day of the funeral, Vic was there for her; he never left her side. Many times she would simply fold herself into his arms and he would hold her, doing his best to give her his own strength. She was glad that Sara had volunteered to watch little Tommy, so she wouldn’t have to contend with the almost unavoidable questions and innocently blunt remarks from her son, who was still far too young to fully grasp the meaning of his grandfather’s passing. Not to mention she feared the consequences on a child this small being forced to attend such a dismal event. While watching her mother bent over the casket and wailing in grief, Louise shut her eyes and sank deeper into Vic’s embrace. As another wave of tears rolled down her face, she mused that it was indeed better for everyone that Tommy stayed away from all this.
*
Since Sonny and Sara only had a one-bedroom apartment, Lilly and Billy took the bus back to Bowling Green two days later. For many days, the entire family could only slog through the motions of life, utterly numbed by the terrible loss.
Vic was determined to lift the spirits of his ladylove, and spent much time with her, Irene and Tommy, when he wasn’t out looking for the ever-elusive job. Irene had become like a surrogate mother and grandmother to the young woman and her son. Indeed, she had been a Godsend and Louise knew her life was now much better since Irene had taken her in.
One evening, Irene had gone to her weekly ladies’ ministry meeting at the church, where a number of the women came together to visit and sew clothing for orphaned children. Vic, Louise and Tommy were spending the evening together, as had become their custom.
Vic and Louise sat on the floor on either side of the coffee table, playing a game of Gin Rummy and eating a large bowl of salted popcorn as the nightly dance band program played on the radio. Tommy, already scrubbed and ready for bed, was wearing blue footsie pajamas that were already too small. He was running around the apartment playing with his favorite toy, a wooden stick horse with a well-loved, shaggy blond mane at the top and two red wheels on the bottom.
Vic glanced at the child as he ran by once again, giggling as he went, the wheels squeaking on the linoleum-covered floor. He shot Louise a devilish grin, eyebrows wiggling. “He’ll wear himself out pretty soon, huh? Maybe we’ll get a few minutes alone before Irene comes back home…”
Louise pursed her lips and flicked her eyes teasingly at him over her hand of cards. “And just what do you have in mind, Mr. Matthews?”
Vic chuckled softly, picking a king of hearts from his hand and placing it carefully on the discard pile. “Oh… I thought we might do a little snugglin’…a little kissin’…maybe a little…”
“And that’s all you’ll get,” Louise interrupted him with a faux stern expression as she reached for the king he had discarded and added it to the run in her hand.
Vic chortled again as Tommy came ‘riding’ from the kitchen past his mother, squealing, “Hi-yo Si-ver, Away!” imitating his favorite radio hero The Lone Ranger. After another run, he slid to a stop at the table and stuck his hand in the popcorn bowl for another few bites.
“I think you’ve had quite enough, young man,” Louise cautioned, handing the bowl to Vic for him to place behind him on the couch, out of the child’s reach.
“Aww Mmm-ma,” Tommy protested, his mouth stuffed with popcorn. She gave him the look and his blue eyes widened a bit, knowing that meant her word was final. Turning his ‘horse’ around, he galloped off into the kitchen once more.
The radio announcer just then gave the time as 8:30 pm and set up the next song in the cue. “And now, a popular Benny Goodman tune from the past, featuring Martha Tilton. That smooth melody, Once in a While.”
As the music began, Vic and Louise’s eyes met and held. It was the first time either of them had heard the song in a very long time. The memories the tune conjured up were many…some wondrous and sweet, others poignant and heartbreaking.
Vic laid his cards down and unfolded his legs, rising to his feet, his eyes never leaving hers. Without a word, he held out his hand in invitation to dance. She swallowed back emotion and placed both of hers within, allowing him to draw her to her feet. They began to sway together to the music, emotions swirling along with the melody. Each one remembered the night on the Idlewild when she had sung it so perfectly, and he had stood watching, bursting with pride. They remembered the night she won the treasure box…but that night had been spoiled by the appearance of someone whom they both thought of as the usurper. Still, the song held so many feelings, tying them together. It was their song. Louise hummed it softly as she swayed with Vic, her head nestled against his shoulder.
As the last notes faded and another song began, they continued to dance together, each lost in thought and each other. Neither paid much attention to another pass of the Lone Ranger around their legs. However, this pass was much slower, signaling the lessening of the boy’s nightly energy.
Pulling back, Louise looked up into Vic’s eyes, hers misty.
“So many times, I dreamed of dancing with you when I would hear that song,” she whispered. “And now we have. Sometimes…sometimes I wonder if I’m dreaming and I’ll wake up to find you’re not really here…”
He smiled tenderly, knowing exactly how she was fee
ling – because he was too. “I’m here, babe. If it’s a dream, we’re in it together.” With that, he slowly leaned down, allowing his lips to cover hers in a warm, deep kiss that took them both to somewhere far away…like Vic’s private mountain.
Reality intervened however, with the sound of clattering from the kitchen. Louise reluctantly disengaged from Vic’s arms with a wistful smile, whispering, “I better go put him to bed.”
Vic nodded, releasing her and watching her walk to the kitchen, retrieve her son, and carry him into the back rooms. He sat down on the couch, deep in thought. Hearing the song had made him feel sentimental and brought back so many feelings. Several minutes later, Louise returned and another smooth song began. She stopped next to the couch and slowly held out her hand in invitation, smiling when her beau allowed her to pull him up and into her arms.
As the velvety Glenn Miller tune You and I began to play, the horns and strings creating the beautiful melody, they once again relaxed into their love. When the male singer began the verse, Vic softly hummed along. They both heard the line about how their love had grown since their first hello and would continue until their last goodbye. The song seemed written for them. He held her tighter against him, guiding her around the living room floor as he murmured softly in her ear, “I been thinkin’…we need to pick a new song to be our song, and I think this one fits the bill to a T…whatdya think?”
She smiled softly, instantly falling in love with the new tune she had never heard before. The smooth catchy song was about a couple that fell in love from the start and would be in love forever. “You and I. Yes, I’d say that fits just fine,” she purred softly.
Leaning back, Louise surrendered to Vic’s kiss, which soon became quite heated. They became lost in one another and the glorious and wonderful feelings derived from their connection. Louise fleetingly mused that TJ’s kisses had never set her on fire the way a simple touch of Vic’s lips to hers could accomplish. Vic, similarly, deepened the kiss as he marveled that he had never felt anything approaching the enchantment he experienced each time he wrapped Louise in his arms and pressed her body to his. It was like a movie or a book romance come to life.