His smile was sad, cold with the truth of it. ‘And yet I did it anyway.’
‘You did, didn’t you?’ Her mouth quivered, her arms wrapping around her middle. ‘I was shocked when Mum told me you’d left Oxford and got yourself into Harvard.’
‘I was angry.’
‘But Oxford was your dream.’
‘No, you were my dream.’
Her eyes widened, glistening anew. ‘I’m sorry, Freddie. I just couldn’t take the risk. I couldn’t take the risk that one day you would turn around and regret it. And Mum...well, you were always so feisty and quick to act, she worried that your parents backing you into a corner gave you all the more reason to stand your ground—’
He went to object, his anger building with her honesty, but she wasn’t stopping. It was rushing out of her, her eyes ablaze with it.
‘—to stand and fight, and that—that it might not have been about love at all, and that one day when life settled down again and the fight was over you’d regret it and then where would you be? It would be awful and devastating and... I don’t know...’
Finally, she trailed off, her hands gripping her upper arms, her eyes not leaving his.
‘You should have known me better than that.’ His voice was raw with the pain of it, the anger, the disbelief.
‘But I did know you, Freddie, I knew how loyal and loving you were, and those traits tied you to me just as much as they tied you to your family.’
Her words were chipping away at the age-old hurt, shining a new light on an old understanding. His family life versus hers. It hadn’t just been about social standing, a divide they couldn’t overcome, it had been about the bonds of love, of family, of her worry for him.
‘I couldn’t bear it, your parents’ disapproval, my mother’s concern,’ she stressed into the quiet. ‘I couldn’t bear you giving up everything for me. I loved you too much to risk your regret, to have you blame me with time, hate me even.’
‘I could never have hated you.’
‘That’s not quite true.’
‘It is.’
‘You hated me when I left.’
Her eyes blazed up at him, her sincerity wrapping around his heart, teasing at the mess of emotion inside.
‘I wanted to hate you, Jas.’ He took a shaky breath. ‘It would have been so much easier if I could have hated you.’
They fell quiet, the rush of the water, the wildlife falling away too as they both absorbed the power of his confession, the meaning of it.
‘I—I tried to find you after you left Oxford,’ she said softly. ‘I was worried, but you were nowhere to be found.’
His brows drew together, surprise making his question choke out of him. ‘You did?’
‘Yes. I left to protect you from making that decision, and then you went and did it anyway and I wanted to find you, I wanted... I knew you wouldn’t want to see me, but...’
‘I travelled. I took some time out to reimagine my future after you took ours away. I couldn’t stand being in Scotland, I couldn’t stand being in the UK. I wanted to get as far away as I could.’
‘Far away from me.’
He swallowed, ignored the clawing sensation in his gut. ‘Not just you, my family too. At first I blamed you for not having faith in me, for taking that choice away. Then I blamed them for making you feel it wasn’t a choice in the first place.’
‘And now? Now that you’ve achieved all you have without me—?’
‘Now that you’ve achieved all you have without me, you mean.’
She took a breath, gave a small nod, her words quiet. ‘If I’m completely honest, I’m not sure our relationship could have survived trying to pursue our careers, coping with our families’ disapproval and all the growing up we had left to do. I don’t want to hurt you, and I’m still sorry that I left, but—but can you honestly say you think we would have stayed together had I not left?’
He couldn’t speak. His gut ached, his heart too. And not because he thought she was wrong...
He reached out, his palm soft on her cheek as her words sank in, struck a chord with such resonance he felt choked by it.
She covered his hand against her cheek and he closed his eyes to shut out the pain he could see in hers. She was right. So very right.
He opened his eyes slowly, took in all that was exquisite in her glistening green gaze.
‘As much as it pains me to admit it...’ he cupped her other cheek, held her in his hands ‘...you’re right. Not in the way that you left... I can’t...’ He swallowed, fending off the painful memory. ‘But then I didn’t give you a choice. I was going into that room declaring my love for you, come hell or high water.’
‘I know.’ Her lashes fluttered over fresh tears as her lips quivered into the smallest of smiles. ‘And I loved you for it. I may not have had the same confidence, but it didn’t mean I didn’t love you.’
Her declaration warmed his heart, soothed the pain.
‘But now what, Freddie? What do we do now?’
‘Now...’
He thought about it and felt his gut roll, his skin prickle. They were at an impasse. Their lives had had no space for them ten years ago; they had even less room for them now.
But they had this. Their week. This was a known entity. No one could get hurt because there was no commitment, no expectation.
Not like there had been all those years ago.
‘Now we’re here in paradise, no outside world looking in, and I want to make the most of it.’
She blinked up at him, a battle still raging in her eyes, but he was ready to forget again. Forget and live for now.
He bowed his head, but she pressed her palm into his chest.
‘Don’t you think it’s time, though, Freddie?’
‘Time?’ He frowned.
‘Yes, time to fight back.’
‘Fight back?’ He straightened, his frown deepening.
‘Yes.’ She wet her lips. ‘To put your foot down once and for all with your parents and tell them you have no interest in a marriage of their choosing. Not now, not ever.’
His mouth lifted to one side. ‘I’ve never stopped fighting back, Jas. I fought for you ten years ago and walked out. I’ve lived in America ever since.’
‘That’s not fighting, Freddie, that’s avoidance, just as this trip with M has been.’
He thought about it. About the conversations with his parents over the years, his desire to keep the peace but also his distance. All to avoid conflict.
‘And you won’t have the ocean between you soon. You’ll be home and you’ll have to face it...unless...’ she eyed him, her fingers flexing against his chest ‘... Lady Sara is what you want?’
A laugh-cum-scoff erupted. He couldn’t help it. There was only one woman he could ever envisage at the head of the aisle, and admitting it out loud wasn’t happening. Instead, he told a different truth...more avoidance...but he couldn’t risk exposing the truth in his heart.
‘Sara’s a good woman, intelligent, kind, but Jas, it would be like marrying my mother. And, believe me, Sara knows how I feel, I’ve never strung her along.’
‘It’s a shame your parents can’t get the same message.’
‘They will do,’ he said, putting all the determination he felt into his voice as he lowered his hands to her hips and pulled her closer. ‘I promise.’
‘No more running?’
‘No more running.’
‘Good.’
‘Now can we stop talking about my parents?’
‘Why?’
‘Because talk of them is ruining all my plans for this waterfall and you and everything I want to do...’
He pressed her body up against his own and kissed her, caught her sweet little sigh with his groan.
‘I like the sound of that,’ she murmured against hi
s lips, her hands hooking around his neck, her slight frame fitting so perfectly against him and soothing away the painful remnants of old. As for the future...
He deepened the kiss, lifting her as she wrapped her legs around him, and he spun them back under the waterfall, let the pummelling flow pound the back of his head, his neck, his shoulders, anything to beat back the panicked pounding of his heart. The alarm bells ringing so very loud now.
But he wouldn’t listen. He couldn’t.
He wanted her, for as long as this week would allow, and the pieces of his shattered heart would just have to fall where they may.
He’d survived before. He could survive her again.
CHAPTER TEN
JASMINE LOOKED AT the various outfits strewn across the bed. What did one wear to a couples cooking class when it wasn’t all about the cooking but the romance of it?
And, yes, she was trying to tell herself this was heading nowhere, that in four days they would be going their separate ways, but that voice was getting quieter and quieter. Because facing up to their past, talking about it and her reasons for leaving, she felt the glimmer of hope swell.
She wasn’t the wallflower she’d once been. The one so fearful of the future, of tearing apart his family, she couldn’t see past the bad to keep hold of the good—him.
She lifted the navy palazzo pants she’d pulled out earlier, the linen fabric perfect for the early evening warmth, the colour forgiving enough should she make an absolute mess while trying to impress Freddie with her non-existent cookery skills. She picked up the navy camisole also on the bed and held them together, turning to face the mirror that filled one wall. Practical and subtly sexy. Perfect.
She eyed her hair, beachy waves kinking up her strands even though she’d showered since their kayaking. If she was honest, she liked it. It softened her cheekbones and jawline, made her cheeks look rosy and fuller, and her eyes bigger, greener.
And it’s just the sun and sea doing all that, not the man who’s put the spring back in your step.
Her lips flickered into a smile, her mind replaying their conversation at the waterfall. He’d said he couldn’t hate her, and his eyes had very definitely shone. It had to be more than just desire, pure sex, surely?
The vibration of her phone from beneath the pile of clothes brought an end to her confusing thoughts and she tossed her outfit onto the bed to dig it out.
It was M.
Or, more specifically, Madison Morgan, the owner of M.
In all the excitement, she’d forgotten this call would be coming. The call to check in on their ‘date’ and she certainly hadn’t prepared herself for it. She considered letting it ring out because, seriously, what could she say other than the truth.
But it hardly felt fair to avoid a conversation with the woman whose team had worked so hard to match her and Freddie together in the first place.
Maybe Madison had already spoken to Freddie, in which case she already knew that they had history and Jasmine wouldn’t need to be the one to break the news. But what was to say Freddie would admit to it? Not that he was a liar, but it was hardly straightforward.
She forced a smile, even though Madison couldn’t see her. ‘Hello?’
‘Jasmine, hi! I’m so glad I’ve caught you!’
‘Hey, Madison, you’ve actually just caught me between activities.’ Her cheeks bloomed with colour. Why did ‘activities’ sound so much like a euphemism?
For the same reason your body overheats at the mere mention of Freddie!
‘Ah, fabulous, what is it you have this evening? In fact, I have it all here...ah, cookery!’
‘Yes.’ She toyed with the hem of the slip she was wearing, her mind wandering ahead to cooking up close with Freddie. ‘Couples cooking the creole way.’
‘From what I know, it’s a lot of seafood, curry and fruit.’
She laughed. ‘That sounds about right.’
‘And are you liking the Seychelles?’
‘I love it here.’ Which was the honest truth, but Jasmine had a feeling she’d love being anywhere as long as her match remained the same. ‘It truly is paradise.’
‘Ah, I’m so glad. You actually have your match to thank for the location.’
‘I do?’ She frowned, surprise making her voice soft.
‘Yes. Usually when I ask the question, with men especially, what location they think of when I say the word “romance”, they often give a vague response, or think about it for a bit. But Freddie came straight out with it so we knew that just had to be the location. And it certainly fitted your requirement for somewhere hot, did it not?’
She couldn’t find her voice as the hope she was trying to keep contained completely ran away with her.
‘Jasmine, are you still there?’
‘Yes. Yes. Sorry, I was distracted.’ Distracted by the fact that Freddie had chosen the Seychelles. Distracted by the fact that romance plus holiday still meant the Seychelles for him. Did that in itself mean more? That the Freddie who had loved her wasn’t too far beneath the surface, despite the passage of time and their history?
And yet he could have been here with someone else entirely if M hadn’t chosen her.
A timely reminder to put hope back where it belonged. Shut tight in a sealed box.
‘And was he right?’
She could hear the hope in Madison’s voice too, could picture her brown eyes all soft and warm, just like they’d been in her initial interview when she’d asked Jasmine what she was looking for in her perfect man.
And what had she been looking for? Freddie, all Freddie. He’d been her perfect man ten years ago, and he was still as perfect now, even more so with a maturity, a measured control that could only come with age and experience.
‘Ooh, I wish I’d video-called, all this silence is hard to cope with.’
Jasmine gave a small laugh. ‘Sorry, no, it’s...it’s perfect.’
‘As romantic as Freddie hoped?’
Was it? From what Freddie had told her, he hadn’t been hoping for romance at all when he’d embarked on this little adventure—another reason to keep hope packed away.
But without hope she felt bereft, and she wouldn’t ruin the last few days walking around with fear hot on her tail.
‘It is romantic.’ She thrust positivity into her voice and tried to feel it too. ‘Very romantic!’
‘That’s wonderful, I’m sure Freddie will agree, then.’
‘You’ve not spoken to him yet?’
‘No, I did try him first but there was no answer.’
‘I imagine he’s in the shower, getting ready.’
Or had he ignored the call? Was he, like she had been, worried about what to say?
‘Is that right?’ There was a smile—or was it a smug smirk?—in Madison’s voice. ‘Always a positive sign when the client knows what their date is up to.’
Jasmine’s laugh was more of a scoff as nerves got the better of her. ‘We’ve not long been back from kayaking and I’ve been getting ready myself.’
‘Well, it’s good that I’ve caught you on your own. I do like to talk to my clients individually if possible. You wouldn’t believe how hard that can be sometimes.’ Madison gave a soft laugh and Jasmine could just imagine why it was so hard, or was that her insatiable appetite for Freddie getting in the way again?
‘So-o-o,’ Madison cooed, ‘how’s it going?’
Jasmine bit her lip. How was it going? ‘It’s...it’s interesting.’
‘Good interesting, bad interesting?’
‘Good, definitely good.’ Or at least she hoped it was.
‘Are you going to expand on “interesting”?’
Jasmine laughed at Madison’s eager persistence. She liked the woman a lot. She was easy to talk to and had the amazing ability to coax things out of her that Jasmine hadn’t even been aw
are of thinking or feeling before. Rather like Sadie and Izzy, she was like the best friend you always wanted, or the big sister you wish you had. It felt like she had your back and cared passionately, when in reality she was a very expensive and very successful matchmaker.
Though there was no reason she couldn’t be all of the above...
‘Am I only getting a laugh?’
‘It’s complicated,’ she said, flustered.
‘Ooh, three days in and it’s already complicated. Should I start planning the wedding outfit now?’
As if. Jasmine’s laugh was well and truly high, her mind as delirious as her body as she pictured it. Freddie at the head of the aisle, her walking down it...and the severe and disapproving Highgroves, if they even attended at all. And there the scene shattered into a million pieces.
‘So, it’s a good kind of interesting and complicated. You know, I say this about all my clients, but you two in particular gave me such a good feeling, a definite match made in heaven.’
Jasmine plopped down onto the bed, her sigh wistful and wishful in one. She caught sight of herself in the mirror, the silly little smile that played about her lips, her eyes that glistened. ‘I wish.’
And she’d really just said that out loud...
‘Why does that sound like a hopeless “I wish”?’ Madison asked, her frown evident in her voice.
‘Like I said, it’s complicated.’ She took a breath and let it out swiftly. ‘Freddie and I have history.’
‘What?’
‘Yes, we know each other. In fact, we grew up together. My mother was the housekeeper of his family home.’
‘You’re kidding!’ Jasmine had to hold the phone away from her ear. ‘But neither of you mentioned one another in your dating history, unless of course you never...’
‘Well, I think that’s because we both tried—’ and failed ‘—to forget.’
Maybe the odds would be more in their favour now if they hadn’t had that history to share. What would it be like, meeting Freddie afresh?
Surprise Reunion with His Cinderella Page 11